Everyone is trying to find out about other people. Often when defining people, they focus on the negative or how they compare to other people. No one can define who you are but yourself and this article provides some tips on how to define yourself and how to make it positive.
Step
Part 1 of 2: Finding Your Identity
Step 1. Get to know yourself
Self-knowledge, especially non-judgmental self-knowledge, is an important skill to help you define yourself. You need to understand what annoys you and how your thoughts process before you can define yourself.
- Pay attention to what you are thinking and pay attention to your mindset. For example, you may notice that you have a tendency to feel like other people don't care what you think and that your opinion doesn't matter to them. Recognizing that you have these thoughts and catching them before they can make you anxious can help you piece together important pieces of your identity.
- As you begin to pay attention to your thought processes and thought patterns, you must begin to practice careful non-judgment. This means that you have to be aware of your mindset and accept it, instead of punishing yourself for having it. Everyone has negative thought patterns and processes. By paying attention to it, you can get rid of this negativity from your mind.
Step 2. Be aware of how you identify yourself
As you begin to notice the way you see yourself and the world, look for ways in which you can identify with yourself. Take a look at the groups and communities you use to create your identity. All of this informs how you see yourself and tells yourself what you allow to define yourself.
- For example, consider things like religion, nationality, sexual identity and see if these things define you or not.
- Try to pay attention to the role you hold, such as your job, position in the family (mother, father, sister, brother), your romantic status (single, couple, etc.).
Step 3. Write down the thought process and self-definition
So that you can fluently see your mindset and self-definition and how they determine how you behave and who you are, write them down on a note when you identify them. You will be able to see how you see yourself and it will be easier for you to eliminate the negatives associated with it.
Talking and consulting with a psychologist can be very helpful in discovering your mindset and the health of your mind. A psychologist can also help you deal with the more negative aspects of your mind
Part 2 of 2: Creating a Self-Definition
Step 1. Record your negatives
Noting and paying attention to these negatives will help you let go of them. Being honest with yourself and acknowledging your existence can help you break free from the clutches of these negativity.
Don't limit yourself to a negative context. Self-definition determines action. So, for example, if you define yourself as someone with a bad relationship, you're missing out on the potential to have a good relationship. You tell a story to yourself, and because you believe that story, you behave in certain ways that make that story come true
Step 2. Identify your core values
You shouldn't define yourself based on outside forces, because outside forces are constantly changing. By basing your self-definition on your core values, you will have a better chance of having a more stable self-definition.
- You will not lose your identity if you base it on the values you hold dear, such as compassion, courage, integrity.
- Write down this list of values and consciously and do them all in everyday life. If courage is one of your core values, try to stand up for someone who is being harassed at a bus stop. Or if honesty is one of them, admit that you lost your dad's favorite watch. If compassion is on the list, spend time volunteering at a shelter for the homeless.
Step 3. Define yourself in positive ways
This does not mean that you do not acknowledge the negative events and actions in your life. It is true that these negative events and actions are a part of you, just like positive events and actions, but the negative ones do not define you.
- This means don't let outside circumstances dictate your identity. Identity comes from within, from the core values that you have identified as important to your identity.
- Understand that negative experiences in life offer you knowledge. For example, if you have had a bad experience in love, learn from it. What has that experience taught you about the person you want to manifest in yourself?
Tips
- Be honest with yourself, but don't be too critical. That is, don't say to yourself: "I'm ugly," or "I'm stupid."
- Never forget that no one can define you but yourself. You are always the only person who can decide who you really are.
Warning
- Don't try to compare yourself to other people, you can't, it won't be fair, either to others or to yourself, because you have different backgrounds, different insecurities, different expectations for life and yourself. Comparing two people is like taking those things, putting them like products and trying to decide which one is better.
- Don't put yourself in one category and think you have to stay in that category.
