Maybe you often hear messages that suggest that you always love, but defining love is not easy. Everyone can interpret and feel love in different ways depending on their respective living conditions. If you need to define love, start by specifying a category, such as romantic love or love between friends. Then, determine the meaning of love according to yourself. If you love someone, use that definition to define the category.
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Method 1 of 3: Determining Love Category
Step 1. Observe the presence or absence of romantic love when you meet your crush
People who experience romantic love usually keep thinking about their loved ones. Ask yourself whether there is a physical attraction to him that you would like to meet and have a romantic relationship with. If the answer is yes, maybe you feel romantic love.
This condition explains the meaning of the statement, "I love you"
Remember that romantic love and lust are often difficult to distinguish. If you feel attracted to someone only physically and there is no emotional closeness, it's possible that the trigger is just a momentary lust.
Step 2. Forge friendships based on mutual trust, mutual support, and goodwill
A person can have certain feelings for friends that can be categorized as love. Ask yourself how you feel when you are with him. Do you feel comfortable and happy when you interact with him? Can you trust him to keep a secret and wish him the best? If the answer is yes, it means you love him as a friend.
- Love for friends can be expressed through the statement, "I love you, but I'm not in love with you". You care for him unconditionally and wish him the best without wanting to be romantically involved with him.
- You can feel romantic love and love for friends at the same time. This can happen if the person you love is a close friend.
Step 3. Know the meaning of love between family members which is called family love
Families have strong bonds that are based on mutual love. The special relationship between you and those closest to you that you love so that you want to be with them and feel a responsibility to protect and care for them is called family love.
Love in the family does not only involve people who are related by blood. Your family is made up of people who have always loved you and were a big influence in your life
Step 4. Find the comfort and joy of loving pets
Many people think of pets as family members, but affection for family members and pets is different. You will feel calm and comfortable when accompanied by your pet. Fun friends like this make you never lonely! This relationship is usually very strong and a source of happiness for the animal and its owner. You love pets when this happens.
Caring for pets can reduce stress
Step 5. Observe the pleasure that comes when you express your love for the things you love
This feeling can be expressed daily, for example by saying, "I love eating ice cream" or "I love this song." Know that affection or happiness that comes from hobbies can be categorized as love, but this feeling is different from love for loved ones.
This love is very flexible because hobbies can change at any time
Method 2 of 3: Determining What Love Means to You
Step 1. Write down what you expect from your lover
Determine what your ideal relationship should look like and the personality you expect from your partner. Then, explain the criteria for your ideal partner. Once you've determined what to expect when you're in love, you'll be able to understand what love means to you.
- For example, you might think that your boyfriend loves you when he compliments you every day, remembers important events in your life, keeps his promises, and is willing to help you when needed.
- With these criteria, it may be difficult for you to find the ideal partner because no human is perfect. However, the steps above help you determine the partner you are looking for.
Step 2. Determine the criteria for relationships with friends and family members
Write down the reasons why you need to appreciate family members and friends, including the joy of being with them. Then, think about what you hope for to determine whether or not the relationship needs to be improved. Explain to them what kind of relationship you expect both parties to understand each other.
- For example, you want to establish a close relationship with your sister so that both of you support each other. Therefore, explain this to him.
- Another example, in your opinion, is that close friends can use things you own or vice versa and shouldn't date a friend's ex-girlfriend. Discuss this with a close friend to find out what he wants.
Step 3. Prioritize the people you love for a good relationship
Interact with the closest people every day or once a week depending on how close you are to them. Also, take the time to meet them regularly and tell them about your daily life. This step helps you establish close relationships with your relatives, friends, and loved ones.
- For example, make it a habit to send messages or memes to loved ones every day.
- Another example, make appointments to spend time with those closest to you, such as chatting with friends at a coffee shop, accompanying your mother to grocery shopping, or watching a movie with your partner.
Step 4. Do different ways of expressing love
Expressing feelings is one way to understand the meaning of love. Do some reflection to find out how you feel and then share it with loved ones in the following ways:
- Express feelings to friends and family members.
- Write a love poem for a lover.
- Write a love song.
- Make souvenirs as gifts to loved ones.
- Express your love to your friends by sending memes.
- Write a love letter to your lover.
Step 5. Make the decision to be in a relationship
Love is not just a feeling, but a choice you make. When you decide to love someone, you make a commitment to be in a relationship with them every day. When you're ready to fall in love, decide to start a relationship with someone.
On the other hand, you can choose not to love someone. This can be done if the relationship is not going well or the behavior is not good. Usually, the sense of loss will fade little by little over time
Step 6. Decide on your love language as a means of personal communication
Love language is a means of conveying the desire to be loved and expressing love. Think about the things that make you feel loved and how to express your love for someone. For that, you can choose the most effective love language from the following 5 options:
- Saying affirmations: You expect your boyfriend to say he loves you.
- Physical touch: You need physical intimacy with your partner, such as hugging, holding hands, and kissing.
- Mutual support: You define love as a way of doing good to one another.
- Giving gifts: You feel loved when your partner gives you a gift.
- Quality time: You expect your partner to spend time with you.
Tip:
When starting a relationship with someone, make sure you both understand each other's love language. Everyone has a different love language, but you both need to know each other's preferences.
Method 3 of 3: Confirming Your Feelings
Step 1. Be honest with someone about your feelings
If you're in love with someone, you'll miss them when you're away from them, even if it's only for a moment. To determine how you feel, ask yourself, "Did I miss him?" If the answer is yes, this could be a sign that you love him.
- For example, you may find yourself thinking, "I miss him" even though he just left.
- Another example, maybe you often daydream while imagining you are chatting with your loved ones.
Step 2. Determine how you feel when you are with him
Love makes you feel happy when you meet him. In fact, his presence made the atmosphere feel even more pleasant. Maybe you love him if you feel more excited about your daily life.
This feeling can be experienced when you meet friends or relatives, but there is a sense of happiness when you love someone
Step 3. Notice the presence or absence of passion as you think about it
Passion can mean a desire to be close or intimate with him, for example wanting to hug him, hold his hand, or stroke his hair. Maybe you love him if you want to do these things.
Passion can also arise because of lust. To determine how you feel, consider other signals that show you love someone, such as feeling happy when you're with them
Step 4. Make sure you can really trust it
Before you fall in love with someone, make sure that they are reliable and make you feel safe. When talking, he listens wholeheartedly and is supportive. In addition, make sure he is honest, loyal, and able to make the right decisions.
- There must be mutual trust between the two of you in the form of give and take. Be a person you can rely on by listening to and supporting them. On the other hand, he has to trust that you are capable of making the right decisions.
- If you're still so insecure that you don't trust him, it's likely that you're not ready to be in a relationship with him. Maybe you love him, but don't want to commit. You have the right to make decisions according to your heart.
Step 5. Determine whether there is a willingness to commit emotionally
Being ready to commit to someone is a major sign that you love them. In addition to passion and longing, you have a strong emotional bond with him. If you're ready to commit to a relationship with someone, there's a good chance that you love them.
You're more focused on future plans when you're ready to commit. Besides, you don't want to think about anything romantic
Step 6. Establish a relationship if you both love each other
Sometimes, someone falls in love, but it's one sided. Even though this reality is disappointing and painful, try to forget it. Do not force the desire for him to love you because everyone is free to choose a partner. Instead, deal with your heartbreak by sharing how you feel, feeling sad about losing someone, and then getting back to your normal life.
- Don't expect someone to change their mind so they love you. Remember that you can still find someone more suitable.
- You'll be disappointed if you keep chasing people who don't love you. This is bad for both of you. Respect his decision and build a relationship with people who love you.
Tips
- Loving someone is not just paying attention to them. Make sure you are able to balance your desires in such a way that your life is both happier and more meaningful.
- Falling in love and breaking up is common because feelings can change. Keep in mind that your lover may decide to separate.
