Social awkwardness stems from a sense of self that cannot appear “normal” or “slang” in front of others. Social awkwardness, caused by internal fears and worries about what other people think of us and also the influence of social expectations, can prevent us from fully interacting with others because of the fear of being ridiculed or ostracized by our neighbors. When you realize that everyone is inherently afraid of being socially awkward and that there are actually various ways to handle awkward situations with skill and confidence, you will no longer be afraid to interact socially and you will gradually be able to deal with it.
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Part 1 of 3: Adjusting the Mindset
Step 1. Realize that you are not alone
You might think that everyone in your life is a sociable person. But in reality, most of them worry about being awkward in public. They worry about whether other people like them, whether they make a good impression, or whether other people are bored with them.
You might think that some of the people around you are inherently confident and they should never worry about how they do it. But the reality is that every individual feels anxiety about various aspects of social interaction. We all want to be liked and want to have friends
Step 2. Ask yourself where your awkward feelings are coming from
For most people who experience social awkwardness, the feeling stems from anxiety, fear, restlessness, or low self-esteem. Each of these root causes can be addressed if you are willing to push the boundaries within you little by little, so that you can find ways to build your confidence. In each case, try to identify the root cause of the awkwardness you're experiencing, so you can address it right away. The sooner you find out the cause, the sooner you can solve it.
There are many other reasons for a person to feel overly sensitive to himself, such as having had a bad experience in the past, a feeling that you are not understood by others, feeling pressured to interact in various situations (such as work, colleagues, etc.) or pressure from parents, etc.), or feeling confused about the motivations and actions of others around you
Step 3. Find ways to deal with your clumsy feelings
Being clumsy can hinder social interactions. Feelings of shame vary, for example feeling embarrassed because you are surrounded by certain people or groups. You may feel reluctant to interact for fear of experiencing awkwardness. You can train yourself to feel more relaxed during social interactions and to open up a little bit at a time.
- If you feel clumsy, you may have intended to participate in social events but fear that you will be humiliated or ostracized by people.
- Look for articles on how to deal with shyness to learn more information and understand that feeling awkward is something that can be handled.
Step 4. Stop worrying about what other people think of you
While this isn't as easy as it seems, one important way to avoid social awkwardness is to stop caring about what other people think of you. Most people worry about what other people think of them. This is very important to remember, especially when you start to worry about what people think of you. If you are too busy worrying about what the other person is really worried about, then you will never be able to feel comfortable and fully enjoy social interactions. When you let go of your worries, you'll find it easier to just be yourself and talk calmly and normally.
Remember which opinion matters. Maybe someone doesn't like you, but will you ever see this person again? As for your best friend, the real friend will stay with you no matter if you have or are involved in any kind of problem
Step 5. Realize if you have social anxiety
Social anxiety is a disorder that causes a person to be unable to function in everyday life including at school, work, or at social gatherings. Someone who suffers from social anxiety tends to be closer to family or trusted friends. However, he avoids establishing personal relationships with people outside his environment. Social anxiety stems from a constant fear of others, who are thought to observe the sufferer with the aim of humiliating and humiliating the sufferer.
See more information on the definition of social anxiety and how to deal with it
Step 6. Acknowledge your feelings
Be aware of when you feel awkward. By being aware of the sensations your body feels when you feel awkward and restless, you can consciously know that adrenaline is running through you and causing you to feel like running or hiding.
Watch out if you suddenly feel warm, sweaty, nervous, agitated, or overly sensitive to changes in your body. Pay attention to your thoughts and see if they are overly critical of your social behavior. Also keep an eye on your emotions, whether you feel helpless or useless. Allow yourself to become familiar with these kinds of feelings so you can learn to get to know them
Part 2 of 3: Using Various Techniques to Relax
Step 1. Talk to yourself
Talking to yourself will help you shift your focus, from worrying about what other people think of you, to trying to calm yourself down so you can feel good about yourself. Some of the things that can be helpful in overcoming moments of social anxiety include:
- "I'll be fine. My feelings are not always rational, so I can relax and calm myself down.”
- “I was too focused on the bad feelings inside my body.”
- "Good people and I love to be in their midst."
- "I'm here to relax."
Step 2. Learn to relax
Learning to relax should start at home, the most comfortable place for you. Relaxing before you go into social situations can help you be more open and honest with others, and aim to relax you more when you're in a social setting. If you don't feel tense, you're also less likely to avoid and instead embrace social situations more. In addition, relaxation will help soothe any anxiety you may be feeling.
- Practice deep breathing to deal with moments of anxiety
- Find out how to meditate to help you
Step 3. Be more cheerful
Sometimes unpleasant and embarrassing things are bound to happen. Cheer up and see the funny side of an awkward moment. Not only will this help you put the incident into a better perspective, but a sense of humor will break the tension and make other people laugh “with” you instead of laughing at you. One of the best ways you can avoid social awkwardness is to stop taking things seriously. This will lighten the load and make you more relaxed.
Often we have no control over awkward situations, such as long pauses in a conversation, an audible gasp at the most unlikely of times, or tripping over the edge of the carpet as we walk forward to receive an award. When this happens, just laugh
Step 4. Focus on the positive
While awkward moments tend to make us focus on the wrong thoughts and things in the moment, it can actually help a lot if you deliberately focus on the positives. What is going on around you right now? Pointing to the positive can put your perspective back on how small an embarrassing event is when compared to other things in the more serious world.
Be careful not to reinforce the relevance of an adverse event to a general impression of social interaction. As much as possible focus on the social relationships you've been through well, interactions that make you feel comfortable because of it
Step 5. Boost your confidence
Even if you don't feel it, you can fake it until you can grow it, or you can remind yourself as best you can to stay friendly. It's hard to find confidence in certain situations that cause feelings of fear, anxiety, panic, and the desire to hide or run
- Ask yourself, "What's the worst thing that could happen?" Trying to at least connect with those around you is a great first step. Most likely, the worst will not happen!
- Look for a guide to building self-confidence.
Step 6. Be kind to yourself
Social awkwardness is not a manifestation from within, but is a temporary state. You "definitely" can go through certain events that don't work for you and in return, you will have more positive experiences. Everyone is prone to making mistakes and they have at least one embarrassing incident they can tell you about. Looking back at your past that is similar to a smile is a form of kindness to yourself. You will realize that the past will not destroy you, but instead become an entertainment story on the dinner table.
Part 3 of 3: Improving Social Skills
Step 1. Learn to be a good listener
If you don't feel ready to engage in a conversation with a witty story or joke, there is another way to connect with other people: being a good listener. This will relieve any tension you may be feeling from social interactions, because you don't have to worry about sounding smart or attractive; You just need to listen carefully and occasionally ask questions. Remember, humans basically like to talk about themselves, especially when the other person seems interested in their story.
- While listening, show the other person that you are listening by repeating the essence of the conversation. You can reply, “So, it looks like what you said was…”
- Ask further questions. Ask the other person's question or opinion with appropriate but not too personal questions.
- Show that you are listening to the other person. Do this by nodding your head, making good eye contact, and responding with words that make him believe you're listening (like, "yes" or "of course").
Step 2. Use social body language
Don't close yourself off, but invite those around you to come into your life, by being open and friendly. The body can convey this well. Folding your arms or legs will make you appear disinterested in social interactions. The same thing can happen if you avoid other people's eye contact. Be careful not to do this or show a lazy body position including looking down. It's best to make eye contact and maintain a friendly posture.
Step 3. Small talk
Small talk like this can help make the person you've just met open up more to you through short conversations.
- Ask the person you are talking to about their day.
- Find common ground. Find out casually if you and the person you're talking to enjoy the same sports team, follow the same TV shows, or have the same pets.
- Use your surroundings. If you run into someone at a cafe, ask them if they've tried any of the amazing food at the place. If you're outside on a sunny day, ask the other person if he or she would like to do some fun outdoor activities.
Step 4. Be friendly
Assume that someone's desire to socialize with you makes you a more open and friendly person to others. While it's undeniable that no matter how nice you are there will still be people who are rude to you, this is not an excuse for running away or blaming yourself. After all, you are not responsible for the behavior of others. They may have a difficult background or they may be having a bad day. But it is not a reflection of yourself. By having a friendly attitude you will make other people comfortable. Find ways to start a conversation and give the other person the freedom to be more open when he's around you.
Step 5. Tell a joke or joke. Joking at the wrong time will lower your “social credibility” and make you look even more awkward. But if you say it at the right time with the right intonation, you can loosen the tension.
Feel the situation. When the situation is getting tough, the right joke can lighten the mood. But if you are in the middle of a serious discussion such as the death of a grandparent, then you should forget your jokes at least until the color of the conversation changes a bit
Step 6. Give the other person meaningful praise
When it comes to giving compliments, the most important thing is to give them sincerely and at the right time. Don't say it if you don't feel sincere about the compliment. If you are a beginner at this, observe the other person and notice when he compliments, then follow. You can compliment the jewelry or sweater the other person is wearing, or their new hairstyle. Then give a deeper compliment once you get to know the person better.
- Complimenting aspects of a person's personality, such as complimenting a friend for their sense of humor and how good they are at starting conversations with new people, can make them feel more special than compliments on their physical appearance.
- If you're complimenting something physical, make sure you don't do it wrong. For example, complimenting a woman's appearance, compliment her face and avoid complimenting her body or any other comments that might make you sound more than you mean.
Step 7. Know what to avoid
While every situation in a social context is different, there are some important things you should probably avoid when you want to be a good social person. There are some comments or actions that tend to potentially make you look awkward. They should be avoided if you want to feel comfortable with other people. Some of them are:
- Avoid saying that you feel very awkward. You can guess what will happen next.
- Avoid asking people too personal questions if you don't know them well, such as why they aren't dating someone or whether they've gained weight.
- You don't have to stand a few kilometers away from other people, but give them space.
Step 8. Improve your etiquette
If you don't know the social norms of the group you're with, try to learn them. Ignorance of the prevailing social norms can lead to social awkwardness. This is common when you visit different parts of your country, or when you go abroad. Be nice and polite and don't forget to say “Please” and “Thank you”.
Step 9. Go outside
Staying at home behind your computer screen, hiding behind a cubicle or avoiding lunch appointments won't help you cope with social awkwardness. If you spend time at home or in front of the computer because you are afraid of interacting with other people, then you will never be able to hone your social skills.
- Realize that some people have an arrogant or haughty personality. But they are not individuals who represent the social environment, nor is it a reason to hide. For such people, you can learn simple ways to walk away from them in a respectful manner, such as a quick nod and a word or two like "Nice to meet you" before turning around and leaving.
- Learn how to start and end conversations. For most people, ending a dead-end or unusually boring conversation can lead to feelings of awkwardness, because of the fear of coming across as rude or uncaring.
Tips
Most people can overcome their social awkwardness. Awkwardness is a trait generally associated with adolescence or adulthood. As people age, people tend to find various ways to deal with the awkward feelings that used to have a significant presence in their lives
Warning
- Avoid bragging as a way to impress and socialize with others. If you feel like you're starting to brag about yourself, then stop and you can apologize or change the subject right away.
- Don't feel anxious and in particular, don't overanalyze. It would be better for you to simplify the purpose of your social interactions
Related WikiHow Articles
- How to Have a Social Life
- How to control moderately severe social anxiety
