Serious dating is different from regular courtship, which is a more traditional form of getting to know a woman, based on time spent with her in public, getting to know her, and finally deciding whether to marry. Serious dating isn't about rules, it's more about unselfishness, friendship, and commitment. Even though serious dating is more serious than casual dating, you can still enjoy the fun of dating and get to know the girl you like better.
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Part 1 of 3: Setting Up a Serious Dating
Step 1. Learn the difference between casual dating and serious dating
Regular courtship and serious courtship are different, especially in modern society. Often times, dates can be casual, and done without serious commitment. You can date just one person or several women at once and often it's just for fun. Serious courtship is a genuine commitment to getting to know a woman to build a relationship leading to marriage.
Step 2. Determine your readiness
Since serious courtship is different from regular courtship, it's best not to rush into it, as this is a serious step towards getting a woman. Most serious courtships are done by couples trying to determine whether they will get married, so if you're not ready for this kind of commitment, it's best to stay in a casual relationship or be single.
Step 3. Understand the benefits of serious dating
While a serious courtship may seem "old fashioned" or too strict, this is an opportunity to pursue a woman without the awkward feeling of wondering if the two of you have a deal. Maybe you're tired of regular dating and are ready to take the next step. Serious dating is a great way to do that.
You might think that a relationship without physical intimacy isn't going to be fun, but the advantage of serious dating is that you can really get to know a woman without being bothered by the things that usually come up in a casual relationship or the early stages of introductions. Seriously dating a woman allows you to have fun with creative ideas and get to know her intimately through conversations and activities together, which is a solid foundation for marriage
Step 4. Get to know him as a friend
Since a serious relationship is more serious, don't immediately ask a woman out on a serious date until you're sure you're romantically attracted to her. Hang out with him in a group, learn about his personality and character, and decide whether you are attracted to him or not.
Step 5. Get to know his family
The process of serious dating has a lot to do with family and interactions in society, often because the relationship is generally within the scope of a religion that values healthy relationships. Getting to know a woman's family will help when you decide to take her out on a serious date. Learn about his family values and whether the two of you are compatible with each other.
- Families are different. Some feel they don't need to get to know you before you officially take their daughter out on a serious date, but some families really appreciate a man who can blend into their family because they want to know if they can trust you before allowing their daughter to spend a lot of time with you.
- If you're an adult and the woman lives alone, maybe participating in her family isn't that important. However, you need to discuss it with him to make sure that you don't go overboard.
Part 2 of 3: Seriously Dating Women
Step 1. Don't hide anything from him
Before you start a serious relationship with a woman, you need to convey that you are interested in her and seriously consider whether you can marry her in the future. Make sure he feels the same as you, and ask what he hopes for the relationship.
Not all dating is this serious and sometimes it's like regular dating, it's just that this relationship is exclusive and more serious. If you're not ready to get married in the near future, make sure your boyfriend is on the same mind as you so there's no frustration or confusion on either side before you start a serious relationship
Step 2. Ask his father for permission
This is important if your boyfriend takes a serious relationship as a serious commitment. Since serious courtships often involve family or counselors, it's best to ask the father of the woman who will become your lover's permission to gain the trust and permission of the family.
You may want to make sure she does have a crush on you before you ask her father for permission, as it takes courage to go to the woman's father and explain that you are interested in his daughter. It can be a bit embarrassing if the woman actually rejects you
Step 3. Get to know him better both in public and in private
Depending on the type of serious relationship, you will need to spend time with your boyfriend so you can really get to know him through conversations and activities. Some serious courtship processes are done between many people, meaning you only spend time together in a group or as a family, but some are done individually, meaning you spend time in public places such as in a coffee shop, but only the two of you are dating..
Some of the perfect dates you can have in a public place are doing outdoor activities such as taking a boat on the lake, having a picnic in the park, going to the movies with friends, visiting tourist attractions in your city, learning a new hobby or sport, going to the playground. or a shared zoo
Step 4. Love and seduce him
Just because serious courtship involves mentoring and interaction from other people in your relationship, doesn't mean you can't seduce your lover. Think of creative dating ideas, compliment her, and show her that you're in love with her character and personality.
Loving a woman is also about treating her in front of others and your desire to serve her. Some women like to do things on their own, but one of the best ways to show her you care about her is by serving. Caring for your loved one by doing things for him and helping him overcome difficulties is one of the most meaningful ways to convey your feelings to him
Step 5. Don't say crap if you don't mean it
Emotional intimacy can be just as strong as physical intimacy in a relationship, and sometimes it takes boundaries. Before you say a sentence like "I love you," think seriously if you really mean it. Don't lie to a woman or make her believe that you're ready to take the next step when you're not.
Step 6. Set physical boundaries
If a partner is in a serious relationship and wants to get married, you should be more careful about sexual relations. Discuss with your lover, according to him what a good physical limit is like. Remember that often in serious courtship intimacy is preceded by commitment.
Some serious dating relationships don't even allow kissing, meaning the couple decides to kiss for the first time on the wedding day. However, others are more relaxed and allow physical touch during the relationship. It is important to discuss this with your lover to make sure you both have the same agreement. Don't go overboard so that he becomes disinterested, but don't keep him waiting wondering when you're about to move on to the next physical stage
Step 7. Make friends with his friends
Since your dates are likely to be with their friends, you need to get to know them, and show your boyfriend that you want to be a part of his life too.
This doesn't mean you have to be best friends with his best friend. Make friends and be kind to them, but understand proper boundaries. If you are best friends with his friends and then you both break up, you and he will be awkward to continue the friendship
Step 8. Seek guidance during relationship building
When you're in a serious relationship, you need to get advice from wise people on how you should handle this relationship and love each other. Having a counselor or person who cares about your relationship will also help you stay accountable and ensure your actions are in line with the original intentions that were conveyed to your lover.
Step 9. Tell him about the current state of your relationship status
Don't let a woman wonder what you think and your current position. Be sure to occasionally discuss your intentions in the relationship and where you stand emotionally. This will create stability in the relationship and will allow your partner to enjoy it without wondering what the next step is.
Part 3 of 3: Deciding Whether to Get Married Next
Step 1. Talk about your future goals
After getting to know your lover for some time, it's time to consider whether the two of you have a future together. Talk about what you want the next few years of your life to be. Make sure that you both have the same agreement so that you won't be surprised later on by the way he wants to live. Here are some questions to consider:
- Do you want to spend time focusing on your career?
- Do you want to earn high?
- Do you want to have many children or none at all?
- Do you want to travel or stay somewhere for some time?
- How long do you want to spend time with your family?
Step 2. Discuss your expectations regarding the family
People have different desires and values that are expected to be instilled in their families in the future. Therefore, it is important to discuss this to find out if you are suitable for marriage. First, decide if you both want to have children and then talk about what kind of family you want in the future.
- Some of the important things to talk about are the number of children you want to have, whether one of you wants to stay at home taking care of the children while the other is working, whether you want your children to be raised in a certain religion, whether you want to be a somewhat liberating parent or a lot. to intervene.
- This is a tough question, but be sure to talk about your views on divorce. If you feel that it's okay to get divorced, but your boyfriend doesn't approve of the divorce or vice versa, this may be a sign that you shouldn't get married. Make sure your lover has the same values as you so that there are not too many conflicts that arise during the marriage.
Step 3. Take a financial management course
This may seem odd, but money and finances can be one of the biggest stressors in a marriage, and it can be helpful to know each other's financial habits before you get married so you can discuss any issues that may arise. You can get this course at your local church or organization in your area.
Step 4. Decide if you are a match
Hopefully some of the topics above can help determine whether you are compatible with your lover, but compatibility can be found in your personality and character as well. If during a serious courtship you come across such contradictory personalities that you often fight, or your lover has a lifestyle that you don't like, then marriage is not the best path for you.
Even though the courtship process is seriously planned for marriage, not everything ends with family life. If at the end of the relationship you realize that the two of you are not suitable for marriage, you need to end the serious relationship. Have a good talk to explain why you think the two of you are not compatible in the future and explain that you appreciate the opportunity to be in a serious relationship with him. Explain to him that he's not the source of the problem, but that the two of you are just not right for each other
Step 5. Ask his father for permission
If you have thought deeply and discussed the various possibilities that will arise with your partner and decided to get married, the next step is to ask for his father's blessing. This may seem old-fashioned, but generally when dating a woman seriously, asking her father's blessing is more than just a symbolic gesture, showing both dad and your boyfriend that you respect his dad and want his blessing.
