Don't want to be toyed with! Playgirl is a term that refers to women who (usually) yearn for an upscale lifestyle and will manipulate circumstances to get what they want. Right now, you may be stuck in a complicated relationship wheel. If you want to find out if the girl you've been hanging out with for a long time is just trying to play tricks on you, learn the basic warning signs and how to negotiate a safe relationship.
Step
Part 1 of 2: Watching for Signs of a Playgirl Girl
Step 1. See if he craves an expensive lifestyle
In general, a playgirl can be identified by her desire to live a luxurious lifestyle, including one that is supported by several men who admire her and compete with each other for her attention. If the girl you're dating seems obsessed with material wealth and social status, there's a good chance your relationship with her means nothing to her. On the other hand, it may indicate that she is a playgirl. Also, pay attention to the following warning signs to see if he is materialistic and the date you are having is (actually) not good for you:
- He is reluctant to share the cost of the bill (in this case, he does not want to share the bill)
- He wants to go straight to expensive places
- He insults/demeans waiters or restaurant/cafe staff
- He refuses to use public transportation
- She tells him things that “pamper” her (or at least, about wanting to be pampered)
- He seems to really care about his clothes/appearance, or your appearance
- He doesn't seem to work for money
- He doesn't seem to care how much money he spends
- He usually wears expensive clothes or bags/wallet, and has a lot of necklaces and earrings
Step 2. Find out if he has a lot of fans
A playgirl sometimes needs a large social network that includes fans, friends, “livelihood” figures, and lovers. These fans are often used by him to get support and increase self-esteem. If the girl you're dating is often surrounded by guys who she uses to get attention and affection, there's a good chance that you too will become the kind of guy she'll take advantage of sooner or later.
- A playgirl sometimes views her male friends as “promising prospects” while taking advantage of their kindness. In addition, a playgirl also often uses the large social network to create a kind of "teaser net" to seduce other men.
- A playgirl also sometimes brags about the number of men she has rejected, or how much effort the men put in to get her.
Step 3. Notice if he often says bad things about other girls
Often times, a playgirl sees other women as competitors, not friends. If the girl you're dating often criticizes other women you know or others she sees on the street based on how she looks, it's probably a bad sign. If he gets jealous every time you spend time with other women, including friends, coworkers, and even relatives, that's also not a good sign.
Step 4. Think about whether he can only spend time with you on a very tight schedule or a very limited time
Playgirls usually date several people at the same time. If you feel that he's also dating men other than you, one common sign you can notice is his inability to meet you at different times. If he seems very busy (socially) and can't make time for you in a week, it may indicate that he is dating a lot of other guys.
- Try doing an experiment. If you've been planning a date for a day, try calling him and suddenly changing his date, then see if he can adjust his schedule to fit the change. If he looks/sounds very upset and offended, it's probably not a good sign. On the other hand, if he suddenly changes his date schedule with you, there's a good chance that he's also planning a lot of dates with other people.
- If you've just started dating someone, it's really none of your business to know who the other people they've been hanging out with or hanging out with are. Remember that there's nothing wrong with getting to know and familiarizing yourself with other people and having an open conversation with them, rather than feeling angry when they meet someone else.
Step 5. Notice if he pouts a lot
One of the basic signs that indicate emotional manipulation and immaturity is a frowning expression. Adults can usually accept disappointment and rejection in the steps they take, and get up without feeling down. However, a playgirl is usually childish. If you and the girl you're dating can't get a seat at a certain restaurant or show tickets, and then she suddenly looks sullen, it's probably not a good sign for you.
Annoyance that arises because of serious things is perfectly acceptable. However, it's a different story when someone frowns and gets irritated over trivial and silly things. Keep in mind that you can't demand someone to be happy all the time. Therefore, try to distinguish the two situations
Step 6. Notice if he ever tries to have a deep or meaningful conversation with you
A playgirl doesn't want to have a serious, deep, or emotional chat with you. He just wants to use you for what you have, then get back to life. If you've been dating her for a long time, but never had a "real" conversation (in this case, serious, deep conversation), there's a good chance the girl you're dating is a playgirl. Of course, such allegations must be based on and matched with other characteristics of a playgirl that have been previously described.
- Try doing an experiment. Say that you want to talk about your future, your childhood, or some other serious topic. If he seems interested in deepening your emotional connection with you, that's certainly a good sign. If not, there's a good chance you've been dating someone shallow-minded.
- Sometimes, a playgirl also tries to use a conversational “script” on a date that (usually) won't last more than an hour or so. If he really doesn't have anything interesting to say after a long chat, that could be a sign that he's actually a boring person.
Step 7. Notice if the affection he shows often dims and smolders
If you're not sure if he likes you, your disbelief actually reflects his manipulation tactics. Showing warmth and love and being cold afterward are perfect ways she uses to keep a guy on hold and so she can ask for more from him. If the girl you're dating seems fiery when it comes to making out with you, but at other times treats you coldly, it's probably a sign of manipulation.
When you meet or talk to a playgirl, sometimes it's enough to make you feel "special" and connect with you. After that, he may try to apologize or make excuses for his absence, but he continues to exhibit such nonchalant behavior and begins, for example, ignoring phone calls or text messages you send
Part 2 of 2: Dating a Playgirl
Step 1. Explain your expectations about the relationship you want to live in
There are different types of relationships, and it's your job to make sure you and your partner have the same expectations or agreements when you want to enter a new relationship. If you're dating someone and want an exclusive relationship, don't immediately assume that they feel or think the same way. Explain your wishes about the relationship you want to be in and respect his wishes about the relationship he is in.
- Decide what you want out of the relationship. What's the point if you want someone to connect emotionally or spend time with you, but can only meet or make time for you a few times a week? If you want a serious, committed relationship, let him know from the start.
- If you're not happy with what he's saying, don't try to change it (or yourself). Just end the relationship. There are lots of other people you can date. Don't get hung up on someone who doesn't suit you.
Step 2. Try to communicate openly
The most important thing in a relationship is communication. If you suspect that he has a tendency to cheat, talk to him about a monogamous relationship. Try talking about a relationship based on commitment. Let him know that in your current relationship, you don't feel as close/intimate as you should be with him.
- If you don't know how to talk about the topic, try saying something simple, like "Where do you think this relationship is going?" If you get a vague answer, emphasize a more specific question. If he says that he wants to be in an exclusive relationship, but the way he acts reflects something different, talk to him about it.
- If you don't like the answer, or if he doesn't act in accordance with his words or promises, just end the relationship. Remember that you still have authority in the situation.
Step 3. Always check your financial condition
You can't buy love. If your partner shows his presence only if you buy him things or give him expensive and extravagant gifts or lifestyle, you are actually in a bad situation. If you feel that he is playing you or using you for what you have (in this case, money), refrain from spending money on him when you and him are out. After that, pay attention to his reaction or response.
- If he stops contacting you, consider yourself lucky. You have freed yourself from someone who loves you only for your money. If your relationship with him develops, try to follow or live the relationship and change habits regarding the use of money when dating.
- Don't reveal things that are confidential, such as your personal finances, and stay away from girls who question your salary. A girl who openly says she wants this or that (regardless of the price of the item she wants) is most likely a playgirl.
- Try not to look for signs of "blackmail". If he's really blackmailing you, you'll be able to tell for sure. Usually, people will be happy when someone buys them/treats them with food. However, that doesn't necessarily mean you're in a “dangerous” relationship; obsession with material goods and gifts that it exhibits that actually harms you.
Step 4. Be careful with the “bed business”
Remember that attraction is emotional as well as sexual. Many playgirls understand that sexual attraction plays an important role in manipulating men. While not all playgirls share the same views/traits, and all sexual relationships have their differences, it's very important that you practice safe sex, especially if you're not sure if the relationship you're in is exclusive (in this case, she's only in a relationship only with you).
Step 5. Watch for signs of unfaithfulness
Sometimes, a playgirl cheats on her so her focus isn't fixed on just one guy. This strategy distracts him from falling in love and prevents him from taking the relationship too seriously. Therefore, make sure you always talk openly with him about your expectations for the relationship you are in. After that, make sure you also determine the mutually agreed rules.
Some people enter into open relationships (relationships without status) which, at times, actually work. Whatever situation or relationship you want to live in, make sure you and your partner have the same opinion and goals
Step 6. End the relationship if necessary
Relationships don't have to be conditional. If you feel that he is in a relationship with you for material or monetary reasons, or because you are giving him something, stop seeing him. There's nothing wrong with ending a relationship that makes you feel dissatisfied, or doesn't give you room to grow. End the relationship immediately before the situation gets worse.
Tips
- A playgirl often plays manipulation tactics, especially jealous tactics to make you jealous and increase her self-esteem by pretending to feel more and more "wanted" by other men.
- The snare of temptation is also one of the "tools" used by a playgirl to ensnare the best man who he feels is the "right" person. A playgirl also enjoys using manipulation techniques that involve strengths (positions), weaknesses, “slavery” (authoritarian), feelings of guilt and/or jealousy.
- A playgirl usually can't keep her promises.
- Playgirl prefers her friendships and hobbies over you.
