Siblings spend more time with each other than either parent. You may not feel this way, but the longest personal relationship you have is with your sibling. Because of the length and importance of this relationship, you should make every effort to start getting along with your siblings from now on. By improving communication, learning to share and doing things together, you can have the relationship you've always wanted.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Improving Communication
Step 1. Think before you speak
While this step isn't always easy, thinking before you speak is important in improving communication between yourself and your sibling. Not only can this prevent things from escalating into an argument, but it can also prevent yourself from saying something you'll regret later.
- When you start to feel angry, take a moment and count to 10. If you are still not calm, excuse yourself and leave the room.
- Always remember that words are a reflection of who you are. Chances are, you're not showing the best of yourself to others if your words get you into trouble.
- The things you say to your sibling can make a lasting impression even after the fight is over. Unfortunately, harsh words can shape how your brother or sister looks at you in the future.
- If you're in a bad mood, avoid talking to your sibling until you're in a better mood. Taking anger out on others is often the result of feelings of anger and frustration from other parts of life.
Step 2. Use the phrase "I"
Instead of always blaming the brother or sister, try to use "I" phrases, which are self-centered statements. "I was hurt when you did that." "I don't like it when you take my things without asking."
- Self-centered statements like these encourage assertiveness without making the recipient feel defensive.
- Don't overuse the phrase "I". If you say "I feel this way" or "I feel that way" too often and don't give the other person a chance to respond, your tone will be perceived as aggressive.
- An example of the correct use of "my phrases" would be: "I get frustrated when you take my clothes without permission. Next time, I'd appreciate it if you asked my permission first before taking anything."
- It takes time to get comfortable and incorporate the phrase "I" into your words. Don't feel guilty if you miss it and forget to wear it. Keep practicing, you will master it!
Step 3. Apologize
Apologizing can be a difficult thing to do. Admitting mistakes can be difficult, because emotions and pride often get in the way.
- While it may be difficult to do so, get in the habit of apologizing to your sibling. Whether it's because you said something you shouldn't have said or did something hurtful; be a wiser person and apologize.
- Make your apology sincerely. You will only make matters worse if your apology is sarcastic or forced.
- If you are the one receiving the apology, accept the request with a smile. Forgiveness is just as important!
Step 4. Ask mom and dad for help to mediate between you and your siblings
Hopefully you can repair your relationship with your sibling without the help of your parents. However, tension between siblings can often arise and getting support from your parents can help you when that happens.
- Parents should be the last hope. Don't use them as a means to report or trouble your sibling.
- Ask parents to mediate the situation. The mediator simply oversees the conversation to make sure everyone gets a turn and prevents the atmosphere from turning negative.
Part 2 of 3: Learn to Share
Step 1. Share your personal belongings
If you're like most people, the thought of sharing with your sibling won't come naturally, especially if you've already shared a room with them.
- Whether it's clothes, music, or for younger siblings, toys, sharing seems to give rise to a lot of fighting and animosity.
- Establish some ground rules about sharing personal items. Tell your brother that he is allowed to borrow your things as long as he asks permission first.
- If there are items that cannot be borrowed, don't forget to tell your brother or sister.
- Don't get too mad at him if he forgets to ask permission before borrowing something. Remind him of the rules carefully.
Step 2. Let the sibling hang out with your friends
This is especially relevant for older siblings, as it's often the younger siblings who want to hang out with the "older kids."
- While being around your sibling all the time can be annoying, it can be fun to bring them along from time to time as well.
- Set boundaries. Let your sibling know when it's appropriate to spend time with you and friends.
- Make sure to only invite your younger sibling in age-appropriate activities. For example, if you watch a violent movie and have a much younger sibling, you shouldn't take them with you.
- For brothers, this also applies to you. Just because you're older doesn't mean your sibling doesn't want to be involved in your activities anymore! If you are going on vacation with friends, invite your sister to join.
Step 3. Give him advice when needed
While it's not as easy as lending your sister a car, sharing your wise views and expertise is also sharing! In fact, giving advice to a relative can often be the best form of sharing.
- Regardless of your age, siblings always need advice. Brothers and sisters can be our collaborators, accomplices and role models, but they can also provide warnings. The fact that the sibling is older or younger than you doesn't really matter either because everyone has a glimmer of knowledge worth sharing!
- Don't give advice when it's not wanted. Let your brother know that if he needs advice, you'll be happy to give it. Beyond that, you shouldn't interfere!
Step 4. Be generous if you live with a relative
Sharing space with a brother or sister can be difficult. Try your best to be generous in terms of living arrangements.
- It's important to be generous if the new sibling is living with you for the first time. Maybe he just moved into your room or apartment. Make him feel comfortable with the "mine is also yours" mentality.
- If the brother wants a certain side of the wardrobe, give it to him. Learning to share space and not get into petty fights is a great start to getting along with your sibling.
Part 3 of 3: Doing Things Together
Step 1. Do his favorite activity
Even if you don't like running or playing video games, make an effort to do something your brother or sister enjoys. He will appreciate your efforts to show interest and, even more importantly, will enjoy spending time with you.
Try to inquire further about activities he enjoys. This will allow him to open up and be able to continue the chat
Step 2. Make a special night to play with siblings
Regardless of your age, games are a great way to bond with siblings. Make an effort to learn a new game together or pick one from childhood that brings nostalgia.
- Don't choose a game that once provoked a fight. If, for example, you can't play monopoly without mocking and fighting each other, be sure to choose another game.
- Play basketball outside the house, or conventional games like badminton too!
Step 3. Look at the contents of the photo album together
Relive the happy times together by viewing the contents of the family photo album. You will enjoy reliving some of the best moments in life and hopefully remembering all the good times with your sibling.
Step 4. Build a tradition between siblings
Whether it's a weekend getaway together or a movie marathon, make it a tradition with your sibling or sibling.
- You can do this on a monthly or yearly basis. For something like a shared vacation, it might make more sense to do it on an annual basis.
- However, activities such as watching a movie marathon can be done per month. Try taking turns choosing movies and snacks as part of the tradition.
Tips
- Compliment your sibling when he does something to make him feel proud.
- Don't always run to complain to mom and dad. Try to work things out with the sibling first.
- If your sister goes to the same school as you, try to look after her. Defend him if someone scares or bullies him.
- If you have more than one sibling, share your care and affection equally!
Warning
- Never yell at your brother or sister in front of friends.
- Don't bully your brother.
