Having someone who can make your heart flutter all the time is fun, but it's also stressful, especially when you start wanting to get up the courage to approach him. No matter how terrible the situation you imagine, always remember that chances are, there are a lot of people who like you without you even knowing it! Maybe one of them is the person of your dreams! Therefore, try to identify your opportunities to win her heart by assessing the situation, reflecting on the signals she sends, and flirting with her.
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Part 1 of 4: Assessing the Situation
Step 1. Assess your relationship status with him
Have you ever had a chat with your dream person? In fact, the situation can be beneficial or detrimental for you. If you are already friends with him, or at least once met him, of course all the personal information about him stored in your mind can make the process easier, even though the risk you actually carry is greater. In fact, the greater your understanding of the current status of your relationship, the easier it will be for you to choose a process approach with a high chance of success.
- If he's currently in a romantic relationship with someone else, make sure you value the relationship and don't give any kind of romantic signal!
- If the two of you know each other, but aren't good friends, the risk is very small. However, you won't be able to find out how he feels either. In that situation, simply value the behavior, and move forward if you feel you have a chance to win her heart, even if you feel the real need to express long-held feelings. However, before doing so, make sure you are really ready to accept rejection and don't get lost in sadness if the results don't match your expectations, yes!
- If the two of you are already friends, chances are that you already really know them. However, taking a romantic approach also risks ruining the friendship! Are you ready to change or even end the friendship if your feelings are not reciprocated? Is it worth your friendship to be sacrificed? Is it possible that the two of you can still be friends if your feelings are rejected by him? Consider all these possibilities.
Step 2. Talk to your friends
Your friends, especially those who also know him, will usually be able to give you an objective opinion regarding your chances of winning the heart of the person of your dreams. However, make sure you choose a friend who is proven to be honest, even if his honesty risks hurting your feelings, yes! Therefore, if you have a friend who is always willing to comment honestly, even when you are stuck in a difficult situation, don't hesitate to ask his opinion about whether or not you should approach the person you like.
If you, your friend, and your crush are hanging out together, ask your friend to help you notice the interaction, and provide appropriate critique and suggestions afterwards
Step 3. Have a group activity
Group activities are the perfect option for casually assessing someone's interest. For example, you can invite your ideal person and close friends to play bowling, watch a movie at the cinema, or just take a walk at the mall together. Take the opportunity to interact with him in a safe and casual situation. Don't worry, the presence of your friends is guaranteed to relieve any kind of awkwardness that might occur! If he seems to be trying to get close to you all night long, chances are that you have a chance to win his heart.
Group activities are also an effective way to show how you are having fun, which may pique their interest
Step 4. Observe his friends
Often, when someone harbors an interest in their ideal person, they will share that attraction with their closest friends. Therefore, observe the behavior of his friends when they are around you. If they often tease you both through jokes, or if they seem to be trying to encourage physical contact between the two of you (like getting the two of you to hold hands), chances are that your feelings for your ideal person are not one-sided.
Step 5. Observe his social media accounts
Try to find out whether or not there are posts that show he likes or is interested in someone. However, don't go too far back! Instead, just read the stuff he's uploaded in the last few weeks. Who knows, one of his statuses or posts on Twitter may relate to you!
This method is also useful for identifying the presence or absence of another person who might fill his heart. For example, if he posts a status like, “Just had a special day with a special person!” but you didn't see him at all that day, chances are he's harboring an interest in someone else
Part 2 of 4: Reflecting on Past Interactions
Step 1. Observe his reaction when you enter his personal space
If he seems physically distant when you try to approach him, chances are he isn't really interested in you. However, if he doesn't move from his place when approached, or even moves closer to you, chances are he likes you too. Whether you realize it or not, attraction pushes you, and him, to constantly be close to the person you like.
Is he willing to go a step further and initiate interaction with you? Does he clap, hug, or even tickle you when you meet him? If so, it's possible that he also has feelings for you
Step 2. Calculate the time he spends with you
One indicator of a person's liking is when he is willing to put in the time and energy to constantly be around the person he likes. If the relationship between the two of you is not close, this information is of course less relevant. However, if the two of you are already good friends or are classmates, this information will certainly be helpful to help you assess his feelings more accurately.
- If he looks like he's trying to spend time alone with you, chances are he really likes you.
- If he's always wanted to work in the same group as you, or sit at the same desk as you at lunchtime, chances are he's also harboring an interest in you.
- Also consider how often he contacts you by phone or text message, as well as how often he comments on your posts on social media.
- If the two of you are close enough, observe whether he greets you or is willing to take the time to initiate a conversation when the two of you accidentally meet.
Step 3. Evaluate the level of engagement
One of the most ideal ways to judge someone's attraction is to evaluate the type and quality of your interactions. Usually, if someone likes you, they will try very hard to learn more about your life, which is usually manifested through questions. In addition, he also tends to observe you more closely than other people around you. Therefore, try to trace a time when he suddenly remembered something about you, or mentioned something you told him in the past. If those moments do exist, it's possible that he really likes you.
Think about the types of questions he or she is asking. The deeper the question is asked, the more likely it is to be interested
Step 4. Evaluate his body language
As well as trying hard to get closer physically, he's more likely to show his interest through body language. For example, he may make constant eye contact when talking to you. In general, eye contact is body language that shows that the other person has a genuine interest in the topic of conversation, even in the person bringing up the topic.
- Observe his interactions with other people. If he seems very friendly with other people, or doesn't even mind receiving a touch from other people, but that's not the case when he's with you, chances are that your feelings aren't reciprocated. At the same time, however, his seemingly different behavior may be rooted in his nervousness when he's around you. Since body language-based observations can be confusing, make sure you take other factors into account as well.
- Pay special attention if he is seen standing facing you in a crowd, constantly around you, or sitting as close to you as possible.
Part 3 of 4: Seducing your ideal person
Step 1. Observe his reaction to your touch
Trust me, his reaction to your touch can answer most of your confusion. For example, try briefly touching his arm while the two of you are chatting, such as when he manages to make you laugh. If you want, you can even rest your head on his shoulder, of course if you two are already close enough. Do that to check the comfort level near you. If he doesn't like you, his body and facial expression should look tense, indicating that you should stop touching him, at least at that point. However, if he doesn't seem to mind or is even comfortable with the touch, chances are your feelings aren't one sided! Alternatively, he'll even return your touch in the same way!
- Try touching his shoulder for 1-2 seconds while he's talking, or gently poke his elbow and arm when he's telling a silly joke.
- The safest way to touch him is to imitate his touch. For example, if he touches your shoulder with his, or hugs you at the beginning of the meeting, feel free to do the same the next time he does, even before he does.
Step 2. Change your body language
In fact, seduction and expressions of affection are far more meaningful than even the most romantic of words. Therefore, try to express your feelings through body language that can show your interest in him.
- Lean slightly towards him when he is talking.
- Look into her eyes gently as she hears her speak.
- Smile as wide as you can when you see her, or when she says something silly.
- Laugh when you hear his jokes.
- Embrace his shoulders as lightly as you can when you laugh at him, or touch his knees with yours when the two of you sit side by side chatting.
- If you want, you can also hug him when you meet him or are about to part with him.
Step 3. Praise him more often
This is an effective way to show your interest without actually expressing it. Most people like to be complimented, and your ideal person probably does too. Therefore, if the appearance looks attractive, don't hesitate to say it. If he does well in schoolwork or work at the office, show your admiration for his intelligence and work ethic. Feel the move is too aggressive? Just say, "It's fun to talk to you, you know," when you are about to part with him.
However, do not praise him too much, okay! Remember, anything in excess is not good. Therefore, just compliment him once or twice a week, at least until the two of you become closer
Step 4. Show your interest
Willingness to be a good listener is generally a very attractive quality. Plus, doing so will show your interest in his life, interests, and opinions. So when he's talking, don't forget to ask questions and make eye contact to let him know that you're really listening. Also, try to remember important aspects of your conversation so you can come back to it at a later date.
- For example, if he's discussing his favorite band, try listening to the group after you get home. At the next meeting, you can say, "Uh, I've heard the band you were talking about!"
- If he's nervous because he's about to take his exam, try asking him how he's doing when the day comes.
Step 5. Appreciate him
No matter how he feels about you, still treat him with kindness and appreciation. Remember, everyone likes to be treated with kindness and courtesy; your ideal figure too. Whatever the current situation in your relationship, whether you're just starting out with him, or when he asks you to distance yourself from him, never speak ill of him in front of other people and always respect his boundaries.
In addition, also respect his wishes. If you are asked to stop flirting with him, do so. In other words, be willing to give him the space and time he needs
Step 6. Achieve the person of your dreams
If you feel you have the opportunity to have a romantic relationship with the person of your dreams, no matter how small the opportunity, don't hesitate to take advantage of it! Take the time to have a private chat with him, then share how you feel. Do this in a quiet place, such as in one corner of a city park, so that excessive noise does not have the potential to be a nuisance. While expressing love in person is always the best option, if the situation doesn't allow you to do so, feel free to express your feelings by letter or phone. Good luck!
Remember, if he's not interested in dating you, that doesn't mean the problem must be with you. It's possible that the two of you are not matched. After all, you deserve someone who is excited to date you. Therefore, don't waste time on people who have rejected you
Part 4 of 4: Evaluating the Situation
Step 1. Evaluate your feelings
Before making a decision to completely pursue this person, encourage yourself to think critically and carefully about the reasons behind your crush, as well as the reasons behind your desire to be in a relationship with them. Remember, many people get caught up in false attraction, simply because the person they like is considered popular or liked by other people. To avoid being attracted to insincere, try to take time to think about the things that are attractive to the person, and identify whether or not you deserve to spend time and energy building a relationship with them in the future.
- For example, if you want to date her just because she looks attractive, that's not really a good reason to go after someone.
- However, if your heart skips a beat every time you see him, or if you feel jealous every time you see him dating someone else, then your crush deserves to be explored in more depth.
Step 2. Summarize your thoughts in a special journal
After contemplating the person you like and the reasons behind your liking, try writing it down in a special journal. In fact, many people find this process useful for understanding their thoughts, as well as for recognizing feelings and thoughts that you might not otherwise be aware of.
Write down the advantages and disadvantages that you will get if you persist in having a relationship with that person
Step 3. Identify your compatibility
Often, a person has been so in love with him that he forgets to think logically. Remember, being in love is fun, but it can also easily push you into making stupid decisions. Therefore, stick to your heart, but keep your head in the process.
- Consider his life principles and values, and whether they are compatible with yours. For example, if you are a very religious person, but he is not, chances are that the difference in principles will become a problem in the future. Never ignore it!
- If the relationship between the two of you is not close, chances are that you will not know the principles of his life in detail. In that situation, try changing your strategy by identifying whether or not there are “red flags” to watch out for. For example, his name may be popular because he is often called into the principal's office for misbehaving, or because he is often in trouble with the law. Although it looks very cute and mysterious, that kind of red flag should be able to make you give up on dating him.
Step 4. Talk to people you can trust
While friends can be a great source of support and help, in most cases, nothing beats the truth of a parent's advice. Remember, your parents may have experienced a much richer love life than your friends, so they can analyze whether or not you need to move forward.
For example, you might say, "You've liked someone before, but you're not sure if he likes you too, right? I need some advice about that."
Step 5. Overcome any embarrassment that may arise
If you've always been an introvert, quiet person, and tend to keep things to yourself, interacting or making friends with new people may seem as difficult as moving mountains. To deal with the stress and anxiety that may arise, try imagining yourself being excited when you do it, rather than being nervous. In many cases, distinguishing the two emotions is indeed difficult, but rest assured that humans have a very good ability to control their thoughts and the course of their destiny. Therefore, stay calm, take a deep breath and enter the situation with enthusiasm and confidence.
- List your strengths and strengths to increase that confidence.
- Write down the things you want to convey to your ideal person. If necessary, practice the conversation between the two of you in a mirror, and imagine the situation going the way you expected.
