Sometimes having a routine in life can be very convenient, but if the barista from whom you buy your coffee already makes your drink before you even order it, it might be time to change things up a bit. Try stepping out of your comfort zone by incorporating spontaneity into your routine to make life a little more unpredictable and more enjoyable.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Learning Your Routine
Step 1. Make a list of your routines
Before you start changing, try to point out some areas in your life that are very rigid and can loosen up a bit. What pattern do you always repeat?
- Start with when you wake up in the morning. What's the first thing you do in the morning? When does your routine start?
- Keep track of how a typical day goes and jot down any time you feel like you're doing a routine. If you walk to work, do you walk the same way every day? Do you sit at the same table in class? Bringing the same food for lunch? Always ordering the same food at the restaurant? Using the same bus? How's your dress?
Step 2. Identify your anxiety
Often, repetitive behavior is the result of a deep anxiety to limit something appearing unexpectedly. When you start to notice the routine on a particular day, consider the possibility of changing one of the habits. Does, for example, choosing a different drink make you nervous? Or take the bus instead of a taxi as you usually do? Is this scary to you?
- Write down the steps of your routine at the bottom. Try to be as specific as possible. What's so scary about sitting next to a stranger and starting a conversation? What keeps you from going to a new restaurant?
- Ask friends and family for help. In general, your friends will know better than you. Ask, “Am I that predictable?” If you suspect you're predictable, they may be able to better explain the specific, unconscious patterns of your routine.
Step 3. Record low times
Part of being spontaneous is being active. Throughout the day, try to list times where you sat at home doing nothing, or when you were bored. What did you choose to do with that time?
When you note this, also include “Day goals”. If you could do anything with that time, with unlimited resources and opportunities, what would you do? How do you envision the perfect afternoon after school or work?
Step 4. Choose a behavior that can be changed
Go back through your list and try to decide what you want to change. Some routines are good because they keep us productive and comfortable. But some other routines generated by worrying or limiting beliefs will make us lazy and reluctant to try new things.
In particular, try to jot down things you are embarrassed about. If your perfect afternoon includes dancing but you usually play video games and feel guilty about playing them, this is a sign to change habits. If you always order Americano coffee because you love the coffee and because it's the cheapest on the menu, why change it?
Part 2 of 3: Changing Habits
Step 1. Start slowly
Change up your pattern a bit based on a changeable routine. Try choosing another way to go to work. Bring lunch instead of eating out. Call a friend and meet up for a drink, rather than going straight home after work. Study in the library rather than in a cafe. Doesn't this make you feel better? More worried?
Step 2. Reconnect with the outside world
Sometimes a lack of spontaneity leads to loneliness. We feel that other people are having fun while you are stuck at home. However, if you want to make a plan, go it alone.
Invite people for simple things. If you used to enjoy the afternoon alone on the porch, inviting old friends from school, this could be much more fun. Try asking how he is, and make a plan for this
Step 3. Grabbing the mystery
Spontaneity includes “making people guess” as well as entertaining oneself. The next time people ask you about your weekend, try saying, “tired all day. And you? Giving mysterious answers can make people wonder how you spend your time and can open up opportunities for spontaneous adventures.
Step 4. Follow your heart's desire
If you're craving pizza in the middle of the night or suddenly want to go vegan on the weekends, why not go for it? It's easy to find excuses not to do something. Instead of worrying about whether you'll fail or regret eating after 10 p.m., just do it.
If you often regret not acting on this desire, try to recognize it and act on it
Step 5. Make an impromptu plan
When talking to friends, it's easy to come up with an abstract plan for the future: "let's go camping sometime." Or, “Let's have lunch together from time to time.” Instead of doing this, try to schedule it right away. Change it to "Let's book a plane ticket now" or "We'll do it during the Vesak holiday, okay?"
Otherwise, if you're a planner, decide NOT to plan. Maybe you plan to meet friends later, but don't need to think about what activities to do together. Meet in a place you rarely go to in the city and explore together
Step 6. Adventure
Sometimes it's easy to get caught up in a routine if you're in the same place all the time. Especially if you live in a small town, you can get really bored of running out of activities.
- Spend time planning trips, but set aside a day or two of free time for new possibilities and plans. Worst case scenario that you're just wandering aimlessly that day, it can at least help lose weight.
- It doesn't have to be expensive. Even just lounging in the city can be fun compared to spending a typical Friday night in the city alone.
Part 3 of 3: Saying Yes
Step 1. Whenever someone asks you something, say yes
Saying no will get you back into your daily routine. Were you offered a karate class but turned it down because you didn't like it? Did a friend take you to a new place but you turned it down because you were sceptical? Removing the word "no" from your dictionary opens a new window of opportunity.
Saying yes can make you adventurous. Think about it, do you know for sure what you will do tomorrow? If you are open to opportunities, anything can happen
Step 2. Say yes to your own mind
We have various voices in our heads that we listen to. We have one voice full of crazy ideas and creative minds. The voice that saw the Japanese-Italian fusion restaurant and immediately said, “Let's go inside!”; the voice that saw the discount for taking a pottery-making class, and thought, “Hmmm I guess I can do that.” Don't ignore the sound. Say yes to yourself too.
Then there are sounds that are more practical and logical. A voice that prefers routine and simple demeanor. Don't let this voice dominate. If you find that you always use it, ask yourself why does this voice always win? To be spontaneous, it's best not to
Step 3. Always remember to be reasonable
Suppose a friend challenges you to jump off a cliff, don't say yes. If you have the opportunity to get drunk to the point of passing out, don't say yes. If your neighbor asks for a million dollars, don't say yes. Think of it this way: There are situations where saying yes is not an option. If “yes” is an option, maybe you should go for it. It is important to recognize the difference.
Act for yourself. If you don't have a passion for going to a midnight disco, don't go. You'll just be annoyed with yourself. Saying yes is not about forcing yourself to do a lot of things---it's about forcing yourself to do things you might love but never do
Step 4. Evaluate the skill of saying “yes” from time to time
An open-to-everything philosophy can lead you to great opportunities. However, this can also lead to some useless things. After you've been doing it for a while, take a look and evaluate what works and what doesn't. Maybe you just say yes to one thing each day. Maybe you should only say yes to things you "know" you won't regret. How can you make the “Yes” system work for you?
Be sure to look for what works best for you. If you are looking for new restaurants, cafes or places in town, great! Focus on that. If you're hanging out with friends you're actually too lazy to meet, start refusing their invitations. Use your spontaneity to make life more fun-not more tedious or challenging
Tips
- You don't necessarily have to overdo something. You can be spontaneous without having to eat out every night or spend too much money on new clothes. Spontaneous is a change in the way of thinking. “Being spontaneous” can also become too routine.
- Learn to trust yourself.
