Everyone has different problems. Even the richest people in the world still face challenges in their daily lives. Sometimes, the problem feels very heavy and there seems to be no solution. However, you can solve the problem by taking responsibility for the cause and working to remedy the situation in a wise manner.
Step
Part 1 of 2: Determining Solutions to Restore the Situation
Step 1. Try to calm yourself down
It's natural to react impulsively when faced with a problem, but remember, you run the risk of making the wrong decision if you act this way. Before deciding on a solution to a problem, control your emotions so that you remain calm and able to deal with the problem at hand.
- While breathing deeply, repeat in your mind: "ri" as you inhale and "leks" as you exhale. This step is useful for normalizing your heart rate and making you feel calm.
- Tell yourself, "I can handle this problem. Even though it's hard, I can handle it."
Step 2. Take responsibility for the problems that occur
Accept the fact that you are facing a problem, then acknowledge your role in this problem. In this way, you are able to deal with problems actively and wisely.
- Formulate the problem you are facing and its causes so you can evaluate, accept reality, and resolve the problem.
- For example, if you are penalized for being late paying your mortgage, accept the fact that you are responsible or at least played a part in this. Another example, if you score poorly on a test, admit that you contributed to not passing the exam.
Step 3. Evaluate before responding
When you have a problem, but you can't be sure what or who caused it, think before you speak or act. If you want to blame someone else for causing trouble, especially when you're upset or confused, remember that this attitude is not helpful, it can even exacerbate the problem. Instead, take the time to find out why. Is it due to external factors (other people or things you have no control over), internal factors (actions you did or didn't take), or a combination of both.
- Example external factors: if someone hits your car which is parked in the parking lot, this problem occurs due to external factors. You didn't cause this accident and you couldn't prevent it.
- Example Internal factors: if you are late for work due to repeatedly turning off the alarm, this problem is caused by internal factors. In a situation like this, admit your mistake so that you arrive late to the office so that the problem does not happen again.
- Example combined factor: if your group presentation gets a bad score, maybe all group members should improve their ability to compose material and deliver presentations, instead of just one or a few people. Acknowledge your role in this issue, then do something to show responsibility.
Step 4. Define an instant solution
Often times, problems must be addressed immediately by taking action that has an immediate impact. You can determine instant solutions if you face problems calmly and think clearly.
- Take a deep breath before reacting.
- Try to evaluate the current situation and consider relevant information as quickly as possible. For example, if the water closet in your house keeps running, check the position of the lever on the side of the tank or the shut-off valve at the bottom of the tank to find out what's causing it. Another example, if someone who seems violent yells at you, the best solution is to distance yourself immediately.
- Make the most of the time to identify the problem and determine the best solution. For example, if your car insurance policy has expired, but you have not received notification of a policy renewal, call the insurance company to have the policy renewed immediately.
- Determine several solutions that can solve the problem, then determine the most appropriate. For example, if water continues to flow from the toilet tank, immediately close the water tap leading to the toilet, then call a plumbing technician. Alternatively, try to stop the flow of water by lowering the valve to close the hole in the bottom of the tank. If that doesn't work, turn off the faucet leading to the toilet and call a plumbing technician.
- Consider the opinions of others if the problem at hand involves other people.
Step 5. Identify the habits that trigger the problem
If you can sit quietly and figure out what's causing the problem without blaming someone else, you may become aware of a pattern of behavior that is causing the problem. This step helps you determine a more effective solution.
- Write down the things that are causing the problem, for example, "paying bills on time" or "achieving top performance at work/school."
- Determine what can be changed so that you are ready to act to address the problem.
Step 6. Determine the goals to be achieved so that the problem is solved
One way of dealing with the problem is to determine possible actions and specific, realistic goals.
- Set goals according to SMART criteria so that problems can be overcome. SMART is the initials of the word: specific (specific), measurable (measured), attainable (achievable), realistic (realistic), time bound (deadlined). For example, you want to find a solution to pay off your home mortgage arrears. For that, formulate a written goal, "I want to pay off my home mortgage arrears within 2 months. I will contact the bank employee who handles this matter to ask for an extension of the installment payment deadline and ask how to improve my credibility to be free from the blacklist."
- Formulate the problem at hand and the solution on a piece of paper. You'll be more persistent in dealing with the problem if you have a visual tool in the form of a written goal, for example: "So far, I've been using my money arbitrarily so I can't afford to pay my mortgage. From now on, I have to manage my spending wisely and restore credibility."
Step 7. Set realistic expectations
One effective way of dealing with problems is to expect reasonable solutions. The desire to realize an unrealistic solution can trigger new problems and stress.
- Consider whether or not your expectations are realistic by reviewing the goals you have set to address the problem.
- For example, a plan to pay off a very large car installment arrears may not be carried out in 2-3 months because you have to buy daily necessities and pay other bills. Therefore, consider discussing this with your creditor, spouse, or financial consultant to determine the best way to resolve the problem.
- Remember that stress can hinder problem solving. Expecting realistic solutions can reduce stress.
Step 8. Believe in yourself
When faced with problems, negative attitudes and complaining are useless. You are able to determine the right solution if you believe in yourself and your ability to deal with problems wisely. Motivate yourself to increase your persistence in the face of adversity by remembering your success in overcoming the problem.
- Take time to remember the positive things in your life. This step helps you look at the problem objectively and gives you confidence that you are capable of overcoming the challenge.
- Say positive affirmations to yourself, for example, "I'm not good at math, but I always get A's in other subjects. I'm going to take math classes so I can be a top student."
- Make friends with people who value your abilities and make you more motivated to solve problems quickly and with appropriate solutions.
Part 2 of 2: Overcoming Obstacles
Step 1. Take action
The best way to solve a problem is to take action as soon as possible. After identifying the problem and setting goals for overcoming it, take action to achieve these goals.
- Show a willingness to solve problems. For example, if you can't pay your car installments on time, contact your lender or lending company to explain the problem you're having. Ask for the best solution for both parties. Another example, if your work performance is judged to be poor, make an appointment to meet with your boss to discuss how to improve your work performance.
- Don't be impulsive when you act. For example, if a friend is gossiping about you, draft an email discussing their behavior. Before sending, save a draft of the email until tomorrow so you don't say something you'll eventually regret.
Step 2. Try to achieve the goal and take the best possible action
Make sure you always behave positively when faced with problems. This step is needed to achieve the target by taking action to overcome obstacles.
- Remind yourself that you are going to read the list of problems and goals you want to achieve in order to be able to solve the problem.
- Have a discussion with friends, family members, and the people involved to determine the best solution.
- Make an appointment with a counselor or mental health professional. It's a good idea to consult a licensed counselor if you're so stressed or depressed that you can't figure out how to deal with the problem.
Step 3. Don't be negative
Keep in mind that negative thinking patterns can reduce your ability to solve problems. One effective way to overcome obstacles is to turn negative thoughts about the problem into something useful.
- Use the experience of dealing with problems as a valuable lesson. For example, if you can't pay off your mortgage because the money is being used for fun, realize that this behavior is bad for you.
- Change the negative behavior that triggers the problem by changing your mindset when facing obstacles. For example, if you don't want to take history lessons, but the next class is your favorite, think of history as a stepping stone to the long-awaited fun moment. This step can improve your behavior so that you will pay attention to your history lesson and get good grades.
Step 4. Embrace positive change
If you have identified the cause of the problem and set goals for overcoming it, chances are that your life will change in a positive direction. Be prepared to experience this change and its beneficial impact overcoming the problem.
- Facing obstacles by looking at the positive aspects can change your mindset so that you are able to decide on the best solution to overcome the problem. For example, "I want to continue my studies at my favorite university, but because my report card is bad, I have to study harder to improve my grades so I can be accepted at my favorite university."
- Don't be afraid to face change and remind yourself that these changes are helping you deal with problems.
- Use positive sentences, for example, "I'm trying to solve the problem in a useful way. The solution will take time, but I've made the right decision."
Step 5. Accept failure
When solving problems, be prepared to accept the fact that the goals are not achieved. Admit that you failed, take action to resolve it, then proceed with a plan to address the problem.
- Don't demand that other people fulfill your wishes if the solution to the problem involves other people. For example, you can write an email to a friend gossiping about you to solve a problem, but don't expect them to apologize.
- Expect solutions to the extent you can control. For example, you can't be sure that the gossiping friend will apologize after reading the email. Another example, you are unable to determine the creditor's response after you apply for an extension of the deadline for paying off car installments.
Step 6. Don't give up
Sometimes, you need to be patient until the problem is resolved. Try to take concrete actions to achieve the goals that have been set. This step helps you overcome obstacles in a wise way.
- Be positive. This method is proven to bring improvement. Therefore, carry out the plan consistently and stay positive when faced with obstacles so that you are able to overcome problems as best you can.
- For example, if you haven't gotten an A yet, don't despair. Each time the value increases, this means good progress.
Step 7. Live a balanced life
Problems in everyday life can trigger physical and mental fatigue. Therefore, take time to rest and think about other things. A balanced life helps you cope well with problems.
- Take a break when going about your daily life, for example to walk or jog. This step can take your mind off the problem and help you determine the best solution.
- Take time to be alone or with loved ones. Take this moment to remind yourself that you have support and why you want to address the issue.
