Money, romance, family, health, school and career. Problems can and will arise in almost every area of life. The longer you live, the more obstacles you will have to overcome. Learning how to deal effectively with life's problems is an important skill that can have a drastic impact on your health and happiness. Building solid problem-solving strategies and problem-solving skills can help you manage life when obstacles arise.
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Method 1 of 4: Developing the Ability to Solve Problems
Step 1. Identify the problem
Sometimes, when we face problems in life, it is difficult to separate the problem from the symptoms causing it. You must clearly identify the problem to get an effective solution.
For example, you are short of money to pay bills. Find the source of the problem. Why are you short on cash this month? Maybe you need to find a better paying job to account for increased expenses, take more hours at work, or stop spending money unnecessarily on fun
Step 2. Set goals
A goal is an outcome that you hope to achieve in order to solve a problem well.
For example, if you are short on cash, your goal is to make more money or increase your income in some way
Step 3. Narrow down the problem
If you have a very big problem that requires a very large goal to solve, break this goal down into smaller parts. This will make it easier to organize a solution plan and take steps to achieve it.
For example, if you hope to increase your household income, you can narrow this goal by saving as much as IDR 1,000,000 first. Then your goal is to double that amount, and so on. This is much more possible than setting a goal just to save IDR 5,000,000 immediately
Step 4. Study all the variables
Think of all the variables available to you. Identify steps you can take to meet your chosen goals. Do some research on each option to get a full understanding.
Variables for increasing income could mean working more hours, finding a better paying job, or lowering other expenses to earn more
Step 5. Implement the solution that best suits your goals
With the information gathered for each option, determine which one is most likely to help you achieve your desired outcome goals.
Maybe you can't get a new job right away or increase the number of hours you work. Thus the only option available to you is to find ways to cut other expenses
Step 6. Check the result
After implementing the solution, re-examine it after a while to see if it meets your goals. If not, you can start from scratch and try to find out if there are other variables now available that better suit your goals.
Method 2 of 4: Having a Way to Solve the Problem
Step 1. Understand the drawbacks of chronic stress
Dealing with long-term causes of stress without healthy coping mechanisms can be harmful to health and well-being. Stress can cause health problems or exacerbate existing medical conditions. You need to see a doctor if you suspect this is the case. Here are some physical signs that you are under stress:
- Headache
- Excess or underweight
- Depression
- Worry
- Insomnia
- Difficulty breathing
- Sleep disturbance
- Changes in appetite
Step 2. Call a friend
When you're feeling stressed, connecting with a social support system can be a great way to deal with it. Social support networks create a sense of belonging and increase self-confidence and security. Reaching out to a friend or family member to express or take your mind off life's problems can be a great way to deal with them.
Step 3. Do something you love often
You can assume that having a hobby is only useful to pass the time. In fact, hobbies help us restore energy, relieve stress, learn new things, connect with others, and gain new perspectives.
A hobby can be anything you love to do. Try reading, writing, exercising, exploring nature, canoeing, skating, painting, gardening, and so on. There are endless possibilities for finding something you love to do and doing it regularly
Step 4. Get some rest every night
You may have heard of the importance of getting 7-8 hours of sleep per night (more for teenagers or children). But getting good quality and duration of sleep depends on how relaxed and calm you were before bed. If you are struggling with problems in life, it is very difficult to sleep. Try a bedtime routine to make it easier to drift off to dreamland.
Do something relaxing like stretching, listening to calming music, taking a long hot bath, or getting a massage
Step 5. Exercise
Dealing with problems can make you want to go to bed and sleep for a week. It shouldn't be. Being physically active can make you feel much more enjoying life. Exercise stimulates the release of neurotransmitters in the brain called endorphins. These chemicals elevate mood and provide a feeling of euphoria that is often referred to as a “runner's high”.
Step 6. Relax
If life is stressing you out, you need some ways to help fight stress and give you peace of mind. Relaxation techniques can be done anywhere and anytime.
- Do a deep breathing exercise by inhaling deeply through your nose for a count of 4. Hold your breath for a moment and exhale for a count of 4. You will see your lower abdomen expand as you inhale and contract as you exhale.
- Try progressive muscles by sitting quietly and comfortably in a chair or cushion. Move slowly through each muscle group in your body, tensing and releasing different muscles. Start with the big toe. Tense for 5 seconds and notice how it feels. Then release the tension and stay relaxed for 30 seconds before moving on to a new muscle group.
Method 3 of 4: Solving Interpersonal Problems
Step 1. Make an effort to empathize
Often we run into conflict with other people because we don't take the time to fully understand their perspective. Building empathy for all humans can help you do this. There are various ways to build empathy. Here are some pointers.
- Try to listen with the aim of understanding rather than responding. You probably spend most of your time listening and thinking about what to say next. Take the time to really hear what other people are saying in day-to-day interactions. This will leave some room for misunderstanding.
- Try to dispel stereotypes. Do you have unproven opinions about certain individuals or groups? Make the effort to meet, talk, and get to know these individuals and see if your opinion changes.
- Learn more about the world by reading, watching films or documentaries, and visiting museums that educate you about people from all walks of life.
Step 2. Use “I” statements
One of the main barriers to healthy communication is using language that causes the listener to become defensive. Forming your words in a way that allows you to express your feelings while not hurting the other person can minimize interpersonal conflict.
An “I” statement begins by expressing a feeling, explaining the reason behind the feeling, and offering a practical solution. An “I” statement could go something like this: “I feel unappreciated when you give last-minute assignments. It would be better if you gave advance notice.”
Step 3. Stop trying to change other people
Think about how you feel when someone close to you tries to change some aspect of your true nature. Maybe your mom wants you to dress up or your partner doesn't like the way you dress. It doesn't taste good, does it? Now, imagine someone who seems to accept you for who you are. It must be more fun, right?
- Constantly judging, scolding, or shaming others for their mistakes while emphasizing your truth will do no good. Remember, "if a person tries to be convinced of a different opinion, he will still not want to change his opinion". Trying to change other people will only frustrate you (and them).
- Focus on correcting your mistakes instead of wasting a lot of energy on other people.
Step 4. Learn when and how to apologize
If your words or actions hurt the other person, you must make changes so that your relationship doesn't break or fail. Apologizing shows your willingness to admit your mistakes and improve the relationship.
- Apologies express regret, acknowledge responsibility, make changes, and try to prevent the same mistake from happening again.
- An example of an apology would be “I'm sorry for not appreciating your free time. I'll do it myself for now and then I'll definitely give advance notice to make sure you're willing.”
Method 4 of 4: Have a Healthy Outlook
Step 1. Begin to view problems as opportunities
Change your body language to the problems you face in life and you can drastically change the way you deal with them. Each problem opens the door for re-learning, exploring new options, and improving existing ways. But instead of seeing it as a problem, think of it as an opportunity to improve yourself.
Step 2. Direct the power
If you feel you have the ability to deal effectively with life's problems, you won't feel overwhelmed by them. If you have identified and started to use your strengths, you can gain more confidence to deal with problems in life.
- Take a piece of paper and write down all of your accomplishments, values, and positive qualities that you can think of. Also reach out to close friends or family members who know you well. Ask this person to help you identify your strengths.
- If you're having trouble finding your strengths, take the free online VIA Character Strengths Assessment analysis.
- After identifying your strengths, learn how to effectively direct them in life. Re-learn each power and understand the ways it has been used in life. Then think of other ways to use this power to help you.
Step 3. Develop gratitude
Being grateful about the good things in your life or previous problems you were able to overcome can help to overcome the problem you are currently facing. To be grateful:
- Start keeping a gratitude journal by writing down a few things that went well each day.
- More often say "thank you".
- Write thank-you letters to family, friends, and acquaintances who have helped you.
- Change your language to use these words more often: “talent”, “luck”, “blessing”, and “abundance”.
