If you've always worked hard to be a more gentle person, you may be the type of person who spends too much time worrying or stressing about things that don't really matter. You might get irritated when someone cuts in front when you're driving, or after an annoying changeover with one of your friends. You may wake up all night, panicking about an upcoming exam or interview. You may also know a lot of people who are soft-hearted, who lead a calm life and can't get angry at almost anything. If you want to be soft-hearted like them, it's not that you have to be indifferent to anything, but it's time to find ways to manage stress and live life with a calm and rational mind.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Changing Your Perspective
Step 1. Empower yourself to change what you can
Part of being soft-hearted is knowing when you have to change something that is eating away at you. If you're annoyed by a coworker and don't do anything to bring it up, then yes, you're unlikely to be soft-hearted when you're at work. If a cupboard door problem irritates you but you don't try to fix it, you will never be soft-hearted. The important thing is to approach the “fixable” problems in life with calm and resolution.
Ask yourself which things in life are causing you not to be soft-hearted. Work to find a way or address a problem you can solve
Step 2. Stop panicking about the things you can't change
Along with changing the things you can change, to be truly gentle, you need to be able to learn to accept the things you cannot change. You can bring in a troubled coworker to discuss the issue at hand, but you may not be able to change the fact that you hate the weather where you live or that you have to live with a bothersome relative. Learn to recognize when a situation is out of your control and accept it with a calm mind.
Let's just say the new boss is driving you crazy, but you really like the job. If you're trying to sort things out and fail, then you need to learn to focus on the parts of your job that you enjoy rather than getting annoyed with your boss
Step 3. Don't hold grudges
If you're the type of person who doesn't know how to forgive and forget, then you're guaranteed to be less than tender-hearted. If one of your friends or family members really upset you, you should be able to say it and forget about it, even if you haven't fully forgiven the person. If you continue to hold grudges, of course, you will still feel angry and angry that you can't face the day calmly and peacefully.
- If you spend time haunted by being angry at those who reject you or grumbling against those who have harmed you, then you will never become soft-hearted.
- Of course, it can be helpful to talk about how someone has hurt you. But if you keep talking about it to everyone you can reach, you'll only get yourself into a frenzy.
Step 4. Keep a journal
Keeping a journal can help you feel in touch with your thoughts and prepare for new challenges. Setting goals by journaling at least a few times per week can help you examine yourself and feel like you're in touch with your mental state. Doing so can also help you establish a healthy routine and give you time to slow down and accept whatever is thrown at you one day. If you don't take time to breathe or relax like writing down your thoughts, then you won't be feeling soft-hearted anytime soon.
Use your journal as a place for honesty and ordering judgment. Write down what you think and feel without fear or lying and you will be on your way to feeling more at peace
Step 5. Learn to complete one task at a time
Many people don't feel soft hearted because their wheel is always turning, trying to play every move in life like it's a game of chess. Let's say you are a writer who decides to either become a librarian or go to graduate school. Instead of planning your life ten years into the future, wondering if you will ever be able to publish a book, just do what feels right during a certain stage in your life. Focus on whatever you are doing now and think about your next step without worrying about the moves you will make ten years from now.
If you learn to live in the moment and fully immerse yourself in what you are doing “now,” you will be far more likely to be successful at what you are doing than to keep wondering where this step will take you
Part 2 of 3: Taking Action
Step 1. Take a 15-minute walk each day
Walking has been shown to relieve stress and help you stop worrying about all the things that are bothering you. If you set a goal of walking one or two 15-minute walks per day, then you can help yourself to get some fresh air, be out in the sun, and to make an effort to break your habit or routine. If you're feeling confused or angry and aren't sure how to proceed, taking a clear-headed walk can have a powerful positive effect on your mental state.
Sometimes all you need is a change of scenery. Just being out of the world, watching trees, people, and others go about their days can make you feel more at peace
Step 2. Exercise more
Exercising can also make you feel more soft-hearted, and have more control over your mind and body. Just making a habit of exercising for 30 minutes per day or as much as you can in a week can help lead a lifestyle that makes you feel more calm and at peace. Any form of exercise will help you focus on your body and relieve some of the anxious energy you are carrying, although everyone has a different form of exercise that best suits their needs, such as yoga or hiking.
You can even make exercise a part of your daily life, if you are short on time. Instead of driving to the grocery store, take 15 minutes to walk there. Instead of using the elevator to work, use the stairs. These small businesses increase activity
Step 3. Spend some time in nature
Being in nature can help you feel more calm and at peace, and give you a sense that most of your problems really aren't that big of a deal. It's hard to worry about your upcoming project or job interview when you're walking through the woods or standing on a mountain. If you're in a more urban environment, head to a public park or lake just for a taste of nature. That's more important than you think when it comes to being soft-hearted.
If you find good friends to hike, swim, or bike with, you'll be more motivated to spend time in nature
Step 4. Listen to relaxing music
Listening to classical music, jazz, or other music that makes you feel calmer and softer can have a huge impact on your inner and outer state. Try to minimize death metal or other music that can irritate you and turn it into a more soothing sound. You can go to a concert or just listen to this music in your house or car, especially when you are feeling stressed.
If you just plug it in for a few minutes and listen to soft-hearted music, you'll find that it's easier for your mind and body to relax. If you're in the middle of a heated argument, you can even ask for a minute's permission and spend a few minutes listening to some relaxing music before returning to the conversation
Step 5. Rest with your eyes closed to calm down
Sometimes, all you need to do is take a few minutes to rest. If you are feeling very confused and not at all soft-hearted, just lie down or sit down, close your eyes, and try not to move your body for a few minutes. Calm your mind and focus on the sounds around you, and see if you can even fall asleep for a few minutes. Try doing it for 15-20 minutes. You don't want to end up taking a long nap and waking up feeling dizzy or worse than usual.
If you're feeling anxious because you're tired and feel like you can't deal with many of your problems, getting into the habit of taking regular naps to restore your energy and can help you feel more soft-hearted
Step 6. Laugh more
Making laughter a big part of your routine will definitely make you feel relaxed and comfortable, and thus become more soft-hearted. You may feel like you don't have time to laugh, or that laughter isn't "serious" enough, but you really need to make an effort to spend time around people who make you laugh, watch comedy shows, or just do things that make you laugh. You're out of a serious frame of mind. Get goofy with friends and dress up in stupid costumes, dance for no reason, run around in the rain, or do whatever you can to shake yourself out of stress fear and for more laughs.
Making more laughter a goal is something you can do today and start now. Even just watching a cat do something silly on YouTube, you're still heading in the right direction
Step 7. Reduce your caffeine intake
It is a known fact that caffeine can make you feel more anxious and less at peace. Drinking coffee, tea or soda can definitely give you the burst of energy you may be looking for, if you drink too much, or too late at night, then you may be restless or less soft-hearted than you would like. Ask yourself how much caffeine you normally drink and slowly try to reduce it to half or just eliminate your caffeine habit.
It goes without saying that if you want to be soft-hearted, you should avoid energy drinks. This drink will make you instantly feel refreshed again but after that you will feel weak and anxious
Part 3 of 3: Having a More Gentle Lifestyle
Step 1. Hang out with people who are softer at heart
One way to instantly make your life softer is to associate with people who have soft-hearted minds. Being around a calm person can calm you down and make you feel more at peace. Look for people who have a more serene approach to life and try to emulate them. If you are close to them, ask them what makes them want to move and talk to them about how they approach their life. While it's unlikely that you'll be able to act exactly like these people all of a sudden, maybe you can pick up some tricks from them, and to become soft-hearted just by hanging out with them.
- In addition to hanging out with more soft-hearted people, you should also try to get rid of people who cause you unnecessary stress or anxiety. While you don't have to completely abandon your irritable friends, you do need to think about spending less time with the people who piss you off.
- It is said that you need to know if there is a difference between being soft-hearted and being indifferent or not very caring. If you have friends who don't care one way or the other because they don't have too many goals or ambitions, then they don't need to be soft-hearted. It's important to be motivated and to want to achieve something in life, even if what you want is happiness or inner peace – being soft hearted only means having healthier thoughts as you go through life.
Step 2. Keep your room clean
Another way to make yourself feel more soft-hearted is to pay more attention to how you look after the room. Keeping desks clean, beds tidy, and rooms free of clutter can have a positive impact on your mental state. Taking the time to put everything in its place at the end of the day, even if you only spend 10-15 minutes, can have a huge impact on how you approach the day and how you feel about your plate. Make an effort to keep your room tidy, and you'll be surprised at how soft-hearted you are.
- Of course you'll feel tired if you wake up and see your desk cluttered with documents strewn all over it, or if you spend half an hour trying to find the shirt you want to wear. Keeping the room clean can make your life more balanced.
- You may think you don't have time to keep your room clean. But you'll find that just taking 10-15 minutes per day to organize your room will actually save you time because you don't have to waste time looking for something.
Step 3. Don't rush
Another thing soft-hearted people do well is not to stress about running out of time or being late for somewhere. You need to be able to manage your time so you have enough time to get from one place to another, and get somewhere early to arrive on time instead of stressing out about being late. If you're late, you'll be tired, won't have time to organize your appearance, and will likely forget something, which will stress you out even more. Go to school or work ten minutes earlier than usual and realize how much better you feel at not having to run from one place to the next.
The unexpected can always happen. Even if you end up commuting to school or work 20 minutes early, it's better than being late because you get caught in an unexpected traffic jam. If you plan to live like this, you will feel more soft-hearted when faced with any situation
Step 4. Make a reasonable schedule
Make a reasonable schedule so that you don't have to rush. If you want to be a soft-hearted person, you can't handle many things at the same time. Try to make sure you have enough time to move from place to place and not be overwhelmed with all kinds of things in your life. It's important to make time for friends, but don't let yourself run out of time. It's good to be able to take part in lots of different projects, from weaving to yoga teacher training, but you shouldn't feel like you're committed too much and can't do any one well.
- Look at your schedule. Do you see anything that can be released without missing too much? Think about how calm you would feel if you took 2-3 kickboxing classes a week instead of 5-6 classes.
- Make sure to always set aside at least a few hours for yourself, if not more, during the week. Everyone needs to take time for themselves; find out how much “time to yourself” you really need and don't ignore it.
Step 5. Do yoga
Making yoga a part of your life will bring countless benefits, from inner peace to helping you build a strong body. The habit of practicing yoga several times a week can make you feel softer, calmer, and better in control of your mind and body. When on a yoga mat, your goal is to forget all distractions around you and to focus on balancing your breath with your body's movements; and at that time, your other concerns and worries will slowly fade away. But practicing yoga isn't just a mechanism to momentarily forget your stress; it helps you build a lifestyle for dealing with stress, whether you're on or off the mat.
Ideally, you need to train at least 5-6 times a week. This may sound like a lot, but you don't need to go to the studio to practice more than a few times a week, or at all. You can practice in the comfort of your own home, if there is a place to do it
Step 6. Meditate
Meditation is also a way to become a more gentle person and to learn to calm all the sounds that may be bothering you throughout the day. To meditate, just find a place where you can sit for at least 10-15 minutes and learn to gradually relax your body. Close your eyes and focus on the breath flowing in and out of your body. When you open your eyes and feel alert again, you will feel more capable of dealing with what you had to do for the day.
Best of all, you will feel more capable of tackling challenges with inner calm and at any time you will be able to re-experience the state you have attained during meditation
Tips
- Music is a great way to stay calm and clear your mind.
- Try walking when you are tired from work.
- The ability to let go is very important to being soft-hearted. Just let go of what makes you feel depressed.
- Calm down! You are not the only person who has problems in life. Some people, right now, are facing more difficult problems than you.
- Exercising and exercising go a long way in keeping your body in shape and making you a soft-hearted person.
