If someone you know is sick, you usually want to do something to lighten the load, right? Even if you don't have the ability to heal the disease, you can at least show real care and concern by saying and doing the right things during this period.
Step
Part 1 of 4: Showing Care Through Action
Step 1. Visit him
If one of your closest or loved ones is being hospitalized or outpatient at home, one of the most important steps you can take to cheer them up is to be by their side. As a result, your presence can take his mind off the illness that afflicts him and keep his life normal during these difficult times.
- Think about the activities you will do when you visit. If he likes playing cards or board games, try bringing the equipment he needs to play. If you have kids, don't take them to the hospital or your friend's house, but bring their pictures to make your friends day!
- Before seeing him, call him to make sure your presence doesn't bother him. Or, plan your visit ahead of time! Sometimes, the existence of an illness will make it difficult for someone to visit so you have to adjust to hospital visiting hours, when to take medication, time to rest, and other emergencies.
Step 2. Treat him as you would a friend
In fact, people who suffer from chronic illnesses for which there is no cure will spend every day thinking that they are sick. That's why you need to remind him that he's still the same person you love and care about. Therefore, treat him as if he was healthy!
- Keep in touch with him. Chronic illness is actually a very big stumbling block to test the sincerity of your friendship with him. In addition, the disease will also test your friendship's ability to stay strong in the face of emotional turmoil. To pass the test, make sure you always maintain a relationship with him, especially because people who are sick will often be ignored and forgotten by those closest to them. That's why, you must include the obligation to contact him regularly in the calendar!
- Help him do the things he likes. If he has a chronic illness or there is no cure, try to help him find fun and excitement in life by getting him to do his favorite activities!
- Don't be afraid to joke around or even plan future activities with him! Remember, he's still the same person you know and care about.
Step 3. Help him and his family
If the person has a family and/or pets, the illness will surely make him more stressed because what he is worried about is not only his welfare, but also the welfare of those closest to him. Therefore, take the following practical ways to show your support for those closest to him:
- Cook for the residents of the house. Even though your cooking may not be suitable for him to eat, still cook home meals for his family to lighten his load and give him time to rest.
- Help him take care of the people closest to him. If he has children, parents, or other persons under his care, offer to take over those responsibilities while his condition has not improved. For example, she may need someone's help to visit her father, walk her dog, or drop and pick her child up for school/extracurricular activities. Sometimes, people who are sick have difficulty doing all that and need the help of those closest to them.
- Clean the house. Some people may feel uncomfortable with such assistance. However, keep offering it. If he doesn't seem bothered, ask if you can visit his house once a week (or more, or less, depending on your abilities) to clean and care for him. If you want, offer to help with activities you're good at, such as pulling weeds, washing clothes, cleaning the kitchen, or shopping. Or, you can also ask him for the help he needs most.
- Ask for their needs, and try to fulfill them. Not everyone has the courage to say, "Let me know if you need help." Therefore, don't wait for him to ask for help, but take the initiative to call him and ask what he needs. For example, say that you are going to the supermarket and ask if he is want to leave something. Or, ask if he needs help at home. Be as specific as possible, and show your sincerity to help him! Then, take responsibility for your words by taking concrete steps to meet his needs.
Step 4. Send flowers or a parcel of fruit
If you can't see him, at least send a symbol of your concern to make it clear that you're still thinking about him.
- Remember, some diseases make it difficult for sufferers to smell very strong odors. For example, a cancer patient undergoing chemotherapy may not like receiving a bouquet of flowers. Therefore, try to give the patient a more acceptable gift, such as his or her favorite chocolate, teddy bear, or balloon.
- Many hospitals offer gift delivery services from the nearest store. Therefore, if the person is currently hospitalized, try buying a bouquet of flowers or a package of balloons from the store. Most hospitals also maintain a list of gift shop phone numbers that you can call on their website. Or, you can also call the hospital operator to ask for complete information.
- Invite a coworker or a friend with you to jointly buy a more special gift or flower.
Step 5. Be yourself
Remember, you are unique and you don't have to pretend to be someone else to answer all of his worries. Just be yourself in front of him!
- Don't pretend you know the answers to all the questions. Sometimes, even though you already know the answer, you still need to encourage him to come up with a solution on his own. Also, don't take away your cuteness either! Even if you feel very nervous when you have to act in front of someone who is sick, don't do it so that they don't feel guilty or uncomfortable. Instead, make him laugh like you usually do!
- Keep it fun. Remember, you need to be supportive and comfortable, especially since your goal is to cheer him up, not spoil his mood with gossip or other people's negative opinions. Just wearing light colored clothes can brighten the day, you know!
Step 6. Make him feel needed
Sometimes, you may need to seek advice or help from someone who is suffering from a chronic or no-cure illness, especially since doing so can motivate them to stay “alive”.
- Some diseases can reduce the sharpness of a person's brain. As a result, thinking about other people's lives and problems can distract them and their medical problems.
- Think about the skills, and ask questions related to those skills. For example, if your friend is good at gardening, and you need advice on how to care for your plants, ask her opinion about the first steps to take and what kind of mulch to use.
Part 2 of 4: Showing Care Through Words
Step 1. Talk to your friend
Learn to be a good listener to him, and make it clear that you will always be there to hear his complaints or other stories. Believe me, having a listener is a very powerful medicine for someone who is sick.
Be honest if you don't know what to say. Often times, illness can make other people feel uncomfortable. If you feel it too, don't worry too much! Most importantly, make sure you are there to help and support him. Emphasize that no matter what happens, you will stay by his side
Step 2. Send him a greeting card or call him
If you can't physically be there for her, try sending her a card or calling her. Sending text messages or postings on Facebook is easier, but letters and phone calls will actually feel more personal and sincere to the person.
Try writing a letter showing you care. For those of you who have difficulty speaking in difficult situations, this step will make it easier for you to communicate indirectly. If you want, you can write a letter, then take the time to edit and change its content if needed. In the letter, focus on expressing positive wishes, praying for his recovery, and sharing positive information that is unrelated to his illness
Step 3. Ask questions
While you should respect his privacy, don't hesitate to ask questions if he opens up an opportunity. Doing so is a very powerful way to learn more about his condition and find out the best way to help him.
Although it is possible to analyze his illness via the internet, asking questions is the only way to understand the impact his condition has on his personal life as well as how he feels about the situation
Step 4. Talk to the children
If the person already has children, they are likely to feel alienated, lonely, and confused. Although it really depends on the severity of the illness, your children may also feel angry, scared, and worried. Remember, they need friends to talk to so there's nothing wrong with offering to be their mentor and friend, especially if they already know and trust you.
Invite them to eat ice cream and allow them to express their feelings. Don't force them to say things they're not comfortable with! Some children really just need company, while there are also children who need listeners for all their emotional expressions. Be open to their needs, and ask how they are doing every few days or weeks, depending on how close your relationship with them is
Part 3 of 4: Knowing Inappropriate Words or Actions
Step 1. Beware of clichéd phrases
In fact, there are so many clichéd phrases or sentences that are often echoed to someone who is having problems. Often times, these phrases will only sound insincere or even risk aggravating the suffering of those who hear them! Therefore, avoid words like:
- "God will never give you a trial that you can't go through," or worse, "This is God's ordained." Sometimes, people with strong religious beliefs will pronounce the phrase with conviction. However, understand that the phrase does not sound pleasant to the listener's ear, especially if he or she is going through a very difficult or exhausting problem. After all, that person doesn't necessarily believe in God, right?
- "I know how you feel." Sometimes, these phrases are spoken to people who are having problems. It's true that everyone has experienced problems in their life, but really knowing someone else's feelings is absolutely impossible! The phrase will sound even worse if it is accompanied by a personal anecdote that does not match the intensity of the suffering. For example, if someone close to you recently lost a leg, don't compare it to your broken arm story because the intensity of the two is not the same. If you've actually had a similar or similar problem, at least say, "I've had a similar problem."
- You'll be fine." In fact, this is a common phrase used by people who don't know what to say. Often, people say it as an expression of hope, not a statement of truth. In fact, you don't know if he is will be fine. In many cases associated with chronic or potentially fatal disease, the sufferer is NOT fine. They may die or experience physical suffering for the rest of their lives. That is, uttering the phrase will only sound disparaging of their experience!
- "At least…" Don't belittle her suffering by asking her to thank her for not being in a worse situation.
Step 2. Don't complain about your health problems
In particular, don't complain about minor health problems, such as headaches or colds.
This tip will depend largely on the intensity of your relationship and the duration of the pain. If he has a chronic illness or is nearing death, it's best not to pass the time complaining about your health problems
Step 3. Don't let the fear of guilt hold you back from taking action
Even if you need to be more sensitive to the feelings of someone who is sick, sometimes being too afraid to make a mistake will actually encourage you to do nothing. In fact, it's better to make a mistake and apologize than to completely ignore a loved one who is sick!
If you've already said something less sensitive, just say, "Ugh, sorry, I don't know why I said that. Honestly I really don't know what to say, this situation is really difficult." Trust me, that person will understand
Step 4. Try to understand it
Pay more attention to the signals given by him so that you don't visit him too often or too long. Someone who is really sick will generally have a hard time having a conversation. However, because they don't want to hurt their guests, usually they will still try to please the people who come to visit.
- If he seems to be constantly watching television, looking at his phone, or having trouble sleeping, chances are that your arrival is starting to tire him out. Don't take it to heart! Always remember that she is struggling with a lot of problems, both physically and emotionally, and is prone to feeling exhausted by it.
- Show you care by not visiting too long and giving him some time to be alone. If you want, ask him if he wants to buy or make a meal so you can take him on your next visit.
Part 4 of 4: Understanding Chronic Disease
Step 1. Increase sensitivity to the limitations it has
Enrich yourself with knowledge of the condition and its treatment plan, so that you are better prepared for the side effects of medication, personality changes, or changes in energy.
- Ask her condition, if she wants to talk about it, or take the time to read information online about the disease.
- Observe her body language to understand how she is feeling and how the illness affects her involvement in activities, alertness, and emotional state. Treat him well and understand if his behavior seems odd or different. Remember, he is currently carrying a very heavy burden!
Step 2. Understand how illness affects his mood
Remember, having to deal with a chronic illness, restricting movement, or even potentially causing death in the near future can lead to depression and other problems. Sometimes, the drugs they take are also at risk of affecting their mood afterward.
If your friend is depressed, try to remind them that the illness is not their fault, and that you will always be there to support them in any situation
Step 3. Show your empathy
Try to put yourself in his place. One day, you may experience the same illness and of course want to receive the same kind of hospitality and sympathy from others, right? Understand this important rule: Treat others as you would like to be treated!
- If you are having the same problem, what kind of activities are difficult to do alone? How do you feel when faced with these difficulties? What kind of support would you like to receive from others?
- Putting yourself in his shoes can lead you to provide the most appropriate assistance!
