Many people at some point feel dissatisfied with their lives or even with themselves. If you feel the need for a fundamental self-change, you're in luck; You can change! Big change can seem daunting at times, but it's definitely doable if you're determined to set and stick to clear goals. Changing what you do will eventually lead to a change in how you view yourself as a whole.
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Part 1 of 4: Assessing Your Needs
Step 1. Identify the problem
You have made the determination to change, but how and why? The only way to answer this question is to identify the problem or aspect of yourself that is driving you to change. What was the result of that change?
- The best place to start is to recognize your positive attributes. Make a list of the attributes you like about yourself. If this is difficult, write down what other people like about you. If you know what your good qualities are, you can use them later to break old habits you're trying to get rid of.
- State exactly what you want in one sentence. Make sure it's what you want and not what other people think you want. If you don't really want change, it won't happen.
- Next, list the reasons that made you want this change. Written motivations that are in front of you-and later used as a reference-will keep you on the right track.
Step 2. Do self-affirmations
Self-affirmations, or saying positive things about yourself, can help establish your core values and stay focused on the new person you want to be. Unrealistic self-affirmations (such as “I accept everything about myself”) may not work because they can trigger an argument with yourself, but realistic positive statements like “I am a valuable and hardworking person” can help you stay focused and even become a person who can solve problems better. To create positive self-affirmations, you can try:
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Using the statement "I am"
For example, “I am a good person”, “I am a hard worker”, “I am a creative person”
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Using “I can” statements
For example, “I can reach my full potential”, “I can become the person I want to be”, “I can reach my goals”
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Using “I will” statements
For example, “I will become the person I want to be”, “I will overcome obstacles”, “I will prove to myself that I can improve my life”
Step 3. Visualize your changed future
Visualization is a kind of mental exercise that can help you imagine different situations. You can come up with an abstract visualization (all in your head) or a more concrete expression, such as a collection of images that represent what you are trying to do. Effective visualization can help define what specifications you are trying to achieve and can help sharpen goals. Furthermore, visualization can help you develop control over your situation or life. To visualize a changed future, try the following:
- Close your eyes.
- Imagine your ideal future self. Where are you? What are you doing? How is your situation different? What do you look like? What specific thing about your new life made you feel happy?
- Allow yourself to describe and explore the very specific details of your ideal life. What is your ideal life like? Try to imagine a specific sight/sound/smell/taste. Concrete details will make your visualization more real.
- Use this positive visualization to help set a goal, which is to achieve that vision of your life.
Step 4. Prepare for distractions
Many things happen in life that we can never predict. Your path to change will be filled with obstacles and people trying to hold you back. Awareness that the obstacles in the middle of the road are small and can be overcome is important to achieve success.
Being realistic is the best way to deal with a discouraging journey. Don't blame yourself or others for getting in the way of your efforts to reach your goals. Obstacles are normal and will definitely happen
Step 5. Learn from obvious failures
Perhaps you have had moments that felt like failure. You don't reach a goal or a milestone, the straight road to your goal turns out to be full of twists and turns, or it turns out that along the way your goal changes to something very different. However, remember that failure is not really a failure, but an opportunity. You can learn valuable lessons from mistakes, and you can learn that looking at long-term goals with a little more flexibility can lead to a happier life.
Step 6. Be patient
It would be meaningless if change could happen overnight. You may not see results as quickly as you planned. You may find it harder to see changes or the results of those changes in yourself as quickly as others see them from the outside. You change little by little every day, and while it may be difficult for you to notice or monitor them, they do happen.
Setting smaller goals or milestones within one larger goal can help you evaluate whether you are heading in the right direction. Rewarding yourself for achieving those milestones can keep you motivated to keep going
Part 2 of 4: Setting the Right Goals
Step 1. Remember to set SMART goals
Goal setting is an art-like process, and good goal setting will ensure that what you do achieves it. SMART is a very helpful English acronym to use to assess the effectiveness of your goals. You should assess whether your goals are SMART:
- Specific (specific-or significant)
- Measurable (measurable-or meaningful)
- Achievable (achievable-or action-oriented)
- Relevant (relevant-or result-oriented)
- Time-bound (time-bound or traceable)
Step 2. Set specific goals
That is, your goals are conical and detailed. Goals that are too broad can make it difficult to determine an action plan to achieve them. The specifications on the plan will increase the chances of success.
- For example, “success” is too vague a goal. Success is not a specific attribute, and it means different things to different people.
- A more specific goal is, “Graduate with a Master's Degree in Social Work from a State University”. This goal is much more specific.
Step 3. Make sure your goals are measurable
You must be able to know when your goals are achieved. If you can't tell whether you've achieved it or not, your goals are immeasurable.
- For example, the goal of “success” cannot be measured. You never know when you're officially “successful,” and your idea of what success means can change in a matter of days (or even hours).
- On the other hand, “Graduating with a Master's Degree in Social Work from a State University” is a measurable goal; You will know that you have achieved that goal at graduation or when you receive your diploma.
Step 4. Make sure your goals are achievable
Achievable goals may be different for each person. Whether or not a goal is achievable depends on a variety of factors, some of which you may not have control over. One way to determine if your goals are achievable is to ask yourself if you have the knowledge, skills, and abilities to achieve them. You should also re-evaluate whether your goals are achievable.
- For example, the impossible goal is to become the smartest/richest/most powerful person in the world.
- A more achievable goal is to receive a bachelor's degree. For some, the more achievable goal is graduating high school or equivalent.
Step 5. Evaluate the relevance of your goals
This is very important for short term goals leading to long term goals. Your goals must be relevant, meaning they fit into your larger life goals. It is unlikely that you will succeed in achieving goals that are not in line with your life goals.
For example, setting a goal of “Graduating with a Master's Degree in Social Work from a State University” is only relevant to your life if you want to become a social worker (or find a career in a related field). If your goal is to become a pilot, a degree in social work will do little to help you achieve your bigger goals
Step 6. Set a deadline for your goal
Effective goals must be time bound; otherwise, you may always try to get there without ever actually getting there.
For example, the goal “Graduating with a Master's Degree in Social Work from a State University in 5 years” is a time-bound goal. You may re-evaluate deadlines if necessary, but there should still be a time limit that encourages you to work towards them, not just a vague picture of what might happen “one day”,
Part 3 of 4: Achieving Goals with Action
Step 1. Get started now
Saying that you will start "tomorrow" is like not starting at all. Tomorrow is the day that never comes. In order to change, you can't procrastinate, and you won't achieve anything if you keep procrastinating.
Step 2. Break your goal down into smaller goals
Once the main goal is set, break it down into smaller goals to be achieved within specific milestones (some call them “macro” and “micro” goals). This will make big goals easier to achieve and there's an opportunity to celebrate every little success in between.
- If you're having doubts about taking action to reach your goals because your end goal seems too big, try to forget about it and focus on the smaller goals.
- For example, if you want to lose 20 kg over 2 years, don't get hung up on the final 20. Start with the original goal, which might mean losing 2 kg.
- Try making a reverse calendar. If you start with an end goal (which is time-limited), you should be able to schedule a reverse schedule from the final deadline, working your way back through smaller goals per milestone until you get to the day you are. You may have to revise your calendar several times to include everything that needs to be done within the time frame you have set (or you may have to re-evaluate your final deadline).
- A reverse calendar provides a specific starting point and can help you take that first step, which is often the most difficult.
Step 3. Reward yourself
Marking your progress with positive emotions and external gifts will help you to keep going long term. Celebrate your little success, spend 30 minutes more TV watching, or treat yourself to an expensive dinner.
Try not to use rewards that go against your progress. If you're aiming to lose weight, reward yourself with a new outfit or a mini vacation instead of three bowls of ice cream
Step 4. Take advantage of your emotions
When you're trying to reach your goals, you're likely going to feel the myriad of emotions that are a normal part of life. If you feel an emotion related to achieving a goal or changing yourself, try tapping into that emotion.
- When you reach a milestone or “micro” goal, allow yourself to feel good and use that feeling as motivation to reach the next goal.
- If you run into an obstacle or obstacle along the way, let the frustration refocus your attention on your goal.
- If you're getting closer to your goal but an obstacle swerves at the last minute, use anger to reinforce your commitment to achieving your goal even when things get in the way.
Step 5. Make yourself uncomfortable
Most people are comfortable with their life. If you want to make a big change, you have to make yourself uncomfortable. But don't worry, this uncomfortable feeling can allow you to grow and experience a lot that your current situation can't offer you.
- This is another area that benefits from smaller goals or “micro” goals. If you want to go from where you are right now to the final destination, the change must be big and discouraging. However, if you go from where you are now to the first milestone, the prospect is less daunting.
- For example, imagine that you are currently working in an administrative position that makes you unhappy, and you set the following goal: “Become a registered nurse working in the ER in the next 3 years.” Jumping into the ER may seem daunting, but trying to reach your first goal or enroll in nursing school is just a little bit out of your comfort zone.
- Allow yourself to feel a little uncomfortable when you take each new step or level, and to thrive on that feeling. You will be surprised yourself and feel positive emotions as you gain new life experiences and realize that you are getting closer to your goal.
Part 4 of 4: Reviewing Progress
Step 1. Maintain your motivation
During this process of self-transformation, you will feel a slump, making it difficult to move on. Keep your consciousness in this moment and overcome all the obstacles.
- Take responsibility for your actions. Show your family or friends your progress, or join online forums.
- Don't exhaust yourself. Maybe you can run 16 km on the first day, but the next day you will be too tired to move. Just slowly.
- Watch the words you say in your head. If the voices are negative, stop! Get rid of all negative thoughts and replace them with positive thoughts. Cut that thought to an end.
- Find like-minded people. A strong support group can make your journey relatively easier.
Step 2. Write down your feelings
Recording behavior and looking for patterns will help you find the most efficient way to achieve your goals.
- If you give in to an old habit, write down the when, how, and why. Perform an analysis of the possible causes. Maybe you are hungry, tired, or frustrated at work.
- Record your progress! If your day was productive, write it down! If you can look back on the progress you have made, you will be encouraged to keep going.
Step 3. Take care of your health
Anything will be easier to deal with when you are healthy. Apart from countless other health benefits on your overall quality of life, a healthy body also makes it easier to maintain a positive attitude.
- Eating well, getting enough rest at night, and leading an active life is a good start to the day. A frustrating, hard-to-achieve goal is hard enough-you need the best possible opportunity to achieve it. Pay attention to your mind and body before facing a big problem.
- If you often feel unfit, bigger issues need to be addressed first. Health and happiness must be your top priority, before you can trick your mind, think positively, and set goals.
Step 4. Adjust your goals
As you progress, you may want to make changes to your ideal goal. Write down your progress and tuck or change plans to fit what you can afford.
- If you make brilliant progress, fantastic! Challenge yourself and set new, more difficult goals.
- Don't feel guilty if you don't hit the line you originally set. Do a reassessment and aim for what can be achieved. The last thing you want, of course, is to get discouraged and quit.
Step 5. Continue your journey
Once you achieve the desired result, do not stop. Habit formation takes time-give yourself time to get used to a new routine.
Change takes a lifetime. While it may take you a conscious effort at first to stay away from carbohydrates, to start a conversation, or to save money, the habit will soon become firmly entrenched in your brain and become automatic
Tips
- What other people think doesn't matter to you. You make these changes for yourself, not them.
- Above all, change begins with awareness. If you are not aware of what you are doing, you cannot change your behavior.
- You can change yourself as often as you want. Nothing is permanent, nothing cannot be changed.
- Smile. Automatic smile will brighten your day.
- Don't hesitate or give up. Choose to go fast and don't slow down.
- Changing because someone else will never give you good results-especially because of the person who left you. If you decide to change, do it for yourself.
- Go somewhere to clear your mind. Perhaps you will discover something new or a new thought that can change your way of thinking and incorporate it into your new identity.
- Remember that you have to be a happy person. If your changes are for someone else, they won't last forever.
- Changing your appearance is one way to encourage change from within (e.g. more professional attire will encourage you to be more professional), but don't just look on the surface.
- Have strong determination. An action must be done at least 21 times until it becomes a habit. The first day will be very hard, but then it will be easier in the days after.
- Be yourself and don't think that other people are better than you because everyone has flaws.
