Want to have a strong personality? Become a person who likes to be honest and able to make decisions? Many people want to develop certain traits, such as assertiveness, leadership, and resilience in order to have a strong personality. Someone who has these traits tends to appear more courageous, spontaneous, and usually a leader whose opinions are respected. Everyone can have a strong personality by developing commendable qualities.
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Part 1 of 3: Knowing the Traits that Make Up Personality
Step 1. Know what personality means
In psychology, personality means personal characteristics that are unique to each person, such as ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving. The combination of these aspects will determine how the person concerned responds to a particular situation.
A person's personality is formed from several traits, such as honest, hot-tempered, cheerful, friendly, or impulsive
Step 2. Understand the basic theory of personality
There are various theories that explain how personality is formed and why each person has a personality with different characteristics. Many theories are based on the belief that a person's personality is influenced by biological/hereditary and environmental/upbringing factors (the “nature versus nurture” theory). Personality that has been formed will usually last a lifetime.
- Allport's theory says that personality is determined by heredity, but is shaped by environmental influences.
- Eysenck's theory says that personality can be understood by observing various aspects of a person's behavior as a whole.
Step 3. Appreciate your unique personality
Know that every aspect of your personality is worthy of respect. At times, our most dominant traits make it difficult for us to recognize the gentler aspects of our personality, such as openness, generosity, and sympathy. These things are as important as the dominant trait.
Know that a gentle personality is usually needed in certain situations or roles. For example, empathy and caring are needed when major life events occur, such as attending a wedding or funeral
Step 4. Respect the other person's personality
Because everyone has a unique personality, being able to appreciate different personalities can be very helpful when you have to work in a team or as a manager. You can strengthen relationships and improve teamwork by showing gentle personalities, such as empathy and generosity.
- Be a good leader and manager by valuing, developing, and empowering different personality types.
- For example, if you have a friend on your team who tends to be quiet but understands the subject you're working on very well, ask him to prepare detailed project materials or plans. This way allows the person to use his skills without feeling anxious.
Part 2 of 3: Developing an Assertive Attitude
Step 1. Recognize that the ability to be assertive is a strength
Being assertive means being able to express an opinion or defend a wish tactically without being aggressive or defensive as opposed to being passive or shy. You are said to be assertive if you are able to:
- Asking other people for things (e.g. asking for help), delegating tasks, and sharing your needs or wants with others.
- Expressing negative emotions that you feel, for example when there is an argument, wanting to complain, being alone, and refusing other people's requests.
- Shows positive emotions, such as pride, attraction, or admiration for others.
- Question the reasons for the prevailing authority and tradition in a respectful manner. This way shows that you want to make changes and want to involve other people in making decisions.
- Start, continue, or stop conversations confidently, change the topic of conversation, and share opinions or experiences.
- Deal with daily problems well so as not to cause anger.
Step 2. Identify aspects of your life that require you to be more assertive
Maybe you need to be more assertive at work or at home. Take time to reflect on aspects of your life that would be better if you were able to stand your ground. Start by determining what problem you are currently facing.
- For example, maybe you want to be a person who can tell your boss that you are overworked and want to delegate tasks to other team members.
- The next example, if your partner often does annoying things, maybe you want to have the ability to express your annoyance to him tactically.
Step 3. Be assertive with others
Describe the current situation or problem while providing specifics of your point of view. Do not use sentences/phrases with the word "you" when speaking because it can seem blaming and tend to lead to rejection, instead use the word "I". Express your opinion firmly while making eye contact and remaining calm. State clearly and specifically what kind of change in situation you want.
- For example, if your friend has repeatedly canceled appointments, tell her, “I'm disappointed and sad that you cancel plans so often. Next time, make an appointment that you can keep or if you have the time."
- Make reasonable requests and consider the needs or limitations of others. Take feedback kindly and make the necessary changes.
Step 4. Perform a role simulation
Role simulation is done by asking someone to play the person you are going to talk to. This exercise helps you build a strong personality before interacting directly with that person. Practice asserting everything you want to say assertively.
- This will help you speak fluently and increase your confidence when you're actually having a conversation.
- You'll benefit from role-playing as long as it's aimed at dealing with the person you're talking to because it helps you identify your style of speaking and change the direction of the conversation, taking into account both positive and negative factors.
Part 3 of 3: Developing Leadership and Resilience
Step 1. Recognize that leadership is a strong personality
Leadership is the ability to direct, motivate, and inspire others to challenge themselves or achieve their goals. While this may seem trivial to some, you can learn and develop these skills. Leadership is not just leading people. You can use these skills to positively influence others in your workgroup, for example, shifting the conversation to a positive or more interesting topic.
- Leadership also helps you gain the trust of coworkers or supervisors.
- For example, you may prefer to sit back and be a listener, but sometimes you find yourself in a group where everyone doesn't want to talk. Leadership can mean moving the group to get them to talk about a particular topic, such as politics or a new show on TV.
Step 2. Do activities that improve your leadership skills
Work on developing a variety of leadership skills because there is no one way to become a leader. You can volunteer by coaching small teams, participating in workplace planning committees, enrolling as a participant in a special office leadership project, or finding a mentor with experience leading and influencing others. Use these activities to develop the following skills:
- Motivate others and provide direction
- Feel comfortable to accept responsibility and willing to take responsibility if something goes wrong
- Taking the initiative to make changes
- Organizing a group of people, for example in activities or meetings
- Learn from disappointment or failure
- Listen carefully to the group's opinions and needs
- Be flexible to change plans, if needed
Step 3. Develop resilience
Resilience is the ability to withstand stress and the ability to adapt to changes. For example, as a tough person, you stay strong after knowing that you have a chronic illness, you are even able to be optimistic and inspire those around you. For some people, toughness is considered a common thing, but there are people who have to train themselves to have toughness. A tough person is usually able to:
- Make a realistic plan and execute it well
- Believe in your own abilities
- Good communication and able to solve problems
- Controlling emotions and impulses
Step 4. Work on a good relationship
Even the toughest people have to struggle to cope with stressful situations. Good relationships make you more resilient in the face of adversity. Establish good relationships with friends, family, or colleagues in the community. They are a supportive group ready to support you to become a stronger person.
Step 5. Develop a strong mindset
People who are not resilient tend to have a hard time finding solutions when they run into problems. If it seems like you are experiencing this, learn to believe in yourself so that your personality becomes stronger. You may not be able to change circumstances, but you can always change how you interpret them.
For example, if you have to undergo a tough training period when starting a new job, remind yourself that the training will end because it is only temporary and will make you better prepared for new tasks
Step 6. Take action to resolve the problem
If you're feeling tired from going through the same routine in your daily life, make an effort to make changes, especially when you're having a hard time. When things get tough, we tend to want to shut down and feel anxious. However, you must take action to deal with each problem as best you can so that you have the strength to bounce back feeling capable of living life and taking control of the situation.
