Many people want to be around people who have self-confidence. But what if you are not one of those people? What's more, even though you often have that confidence, sometimes you can't feel it inside. It's very natural – most people, from time to time, struggle with this problem. To convince everyone that you are confident, and passionate about life, start with Step 1 below.
Part 1 of 3: Using Body Language
Step 1. Stand straight
Pull your shoulder blades down and back as much as possible to push your torso up and your neck back. This can give a posture that has the message, "Watch out, world!" When you don't stand up straight, you give the impression that the world has beaten you and you just want to be in bed.
Practice getting out of your seat without swinging forward, especially when you're working at a desk from 9:00 to 17:00. At first, having good posture can be a little difficult – if you're not used to it, you may not have developed your core strengths. But with practice, it will get you used to it and can even make you do it automatically
Step 2. Lift your chin and look straight ahead
When we don't feel confident, we tend to look down when we think about everything. To design that you're feeling confident, lift your head and look straight ahead. This can give the impression that you feel you deserve to judge the world and not get caught up in to yourself.
Try to look down for a few moments. What do you feel? Then try to look up and pay attention to your surroundings. Have the feelings inside you changed? Sometimes our minds get cues from our bodies – when we look down, we naturally feel downcast and sad. When we look up, our feelings improve and we feel more confident (as well as other things)
Step 3. Smile
When we have problems, we often tend to put a sad face on our faces. Smile to show that you are ready to take on the world. A smile can signal to others that you can be found and that it's nice to see them. Others will be more receptive to you too, allowing you and others to develop a positive cycle.
You need to give other people a genuine smile. Don't give a fake smile, where you don't feel like smiling, which can also be easily detected when you take a photo. Practice so you get used to it. Stand in front of the mirror with your head slightly down. Smile and ''then'' lift your head. Whether you like your smile or not, it's your natural smile. It's not a smile that you modify to look good in front of the camera
Step 4. Make good eye contact
People who don't want to make eye contact with you are actually stating "I doubt you'll believe me". Some people even find it offensive, because you don't pay attention to them. To show that you are “really” listening to the other person and that you are active in the conversation, make eye contact with them. You may not make eye contact when movement is the center of attention or when you are thinking, but you should always make eye contact with them again.
It will be difficult for you to train it, master the art of gazing with strangers. Of course when you smile and wink. Try to stare at them so they don't look at you first. When was the last time you looked at someone and weren't the first to not stare again?
Step 5. Keep your body relaxed
A person who is nervous and does not feel confident will feel restless and tense. A person who is confident and ready to take on the next challenge will feel relaxed, loose and calm. Start with your body, starting with your head, and relax every part of your body. Find out which parts of your body are the most tense – most people have tension in their back, buttocks, and shoulders.
If you've ever had your legs crossed, your hands clasped together, and your shoulders shrugging - or even standing up, pacing, and biting your nails - do something to relax yourself. You may find that a relaxed posture can ease your anxiety as well
Step 6. Perform the power pose
Research has shown that people who do strength poses – that is, by stretching out and making themselves "bigger" - can make a person more confident. To signal to your mind that your confidence is increasing, put your hands on your hips, broaden your stance, and show the world who you really are.
- Imagine that you are talking to your boss and you put your feet up on the table while your boss's hands are tucked between his legs. It's easy to tell who's feeling confident! So spread it out, whether it's in your office chair with your boss, at a bar with your friends, or while giving a speech to your classmates.
- Do this before your activity begins. Spending a few minutes in the shower before giving a presentation (be it a speech or introducing yourself to a stranger) is enough to get you in your power zone when you need it most.
Step 7. Walk at a fast pace
The slower one walked, the more the dialogue in one's heart was contemplating, as evidence of awkwardness. And the faster you walk, the more confident a person appears to be. What's more, when you walk upright and do a faster pace of walking – and that's called one row, two or three islands are skipped.
A fast running tempo indicates that you have one reason to move, you are doing it and are motivated to get things done. A slower tempo means that you don't feel ambitious and have inadequate reasons to move. Of course the first statement sounds more confident
Part 2 of 3: Speak with Confidence
Step 1. Lower your volume
When you are not confident and feel a little nervous, your voice tends to be on a higher pitch. When this happens, it is not always easy to detect. Consciously keep your voice at a lower pitch, whether you're paying attention or not. If you know you're feeling uncomfortable, be careful when your voice begins to change pitch.
Lower the pitch of your voice, as well as the pitch level if this is a problem for you. In other words, speak up! This will let others know that you see your voice as valuable to be heard. Then they will think the same thing
Step 2. Speak more quietly
Our voices will get faster when we feel nervous. So lower your voice sometime when you are presenting. Slow down. Slow down to the point where you think your voice will be too low – that's a hurdle before you get it right.
An insecure person wants to get things done as quickly as possible and forget about it – so this is why they speed things up the first time. To pretend to be confident, lower your voice, giving the impression that you are comfortable being the center of attention
Step 3. Use statements with the word "I"
Confident people tend to be more assertive and use "I" statements. Instead of using "You pissed me off," which is fairly passive, a confident person would say, "I'm pissed at you," which is more assertive and direct. To pretend to be confident, talk about yourself. No one else will talk about you alone!
It would be really nice to ask about the people around you. Everyone will appreciate a good listener. Still, you have to take an active part in the conversation by talking. If there's something you can relate to, talk about your experiences with it. Did the friend you're talking about just watch your favorite movie? Instead of saying, "Oh, what a great movie!" You can say, "I love that movie! It's my favorite movie. I've watched it a number of times at a time…"
Step 4. Talk positively and avoid gossip
We all know people who are constantly negative, nagging and spreading gossip about their group of friends and foes. It's easy to guess that people won't like that person, so don't be that person! In order to show confidence, you must convince the world that you are feeling good. And people who have good feelings show it through positive actions and words.
Try to say something positive every time. Instead of saying "Oh, I don't like Thai food," you can say, "I prefer Italian," when discussing dinner plans. Instead of saying, "Her shoes are so ugly," you'd better say, "She's made an interesting fashion choice, hasn't she?"
Step 5. Don't ramble
Have you ever sat down with a new acquaintance or two and started a conversation about getting rid of that strange feeling in your stomach? This is a major signal that you are feeling nervous and not feeling overly confident. Better be quiet. How about that feeling? Ignore it. You may be the only one who feels it.
More listening than talking. If you are the center of attention. You think that people value what you say, you may be judged as annoying and want attention. Better, relax. Stop for a moment. A confident person doesn't need attention all the time. Let the other person engage in the conversation for a few moments
Part 3 of 3: Develop Positive Habits
Step 1. Don't let yourself worry too much about it
For example, when you are at a bar and see a funny man or woman at the end of the bar. For the first three seconds or so, you imagine talking to them and asking for their contact number. Then, you will doubt and will be overcome by fear. That's when you have to stop worrying so much about things. After the first three seconds, forget it. Go and do it. Don't let yourself worry.
Any thoughts that last after those three seconds can make you feel even more worried. And worry can lead you to failure. Forget those thoughts and do what you should be doing before your mind says no. Everything on your mind is meaningless
Step 2. Remember that everyone thinks too much of himself
As we get older, we start to think that the world is always watching you, ready to find fault at any moment. In fact, the world is too busy to care for itself to be noticed and is afraid of the same. The only person who thinks about you is yourself.
Technically, it's useless if you feel insecure. Is everyone watching and laughing at you? Did they think about what you said and did? For your world… of course, but not for the world of others. This is not a sad thing, this is freedom. The problem is your own mind
Step 3. Laugh
Laughter will fill your brain (as well as all parts of your body) with true joy. It will release the pressure, improve your feelings, and make it easier for you to make a real smile. All of these things make it ten times easier and more convincing to pretend to be confident.
Generating self-confidence can be difficult, but creating a person who is free of burdens and worries and who is positive will become easier. So you will only laugh when someone makes a joke. Always smile whenever and wherever. People like happy people, and joy is usually associated with self-confidence
Step 4. Dress and style your hair well
Remember - think back on bad days for your hair. You'll probably notice it, right? How about the last time you got dressed while traveling out of town? Maybe you dress nicely. Sometimes our brains get cues from the outside to determine how we feel inside. If you need confidence, wear clothes that make you look good and clean yourself up. Looking good can make it easier for you to feel good.
What's more, people tend to accept a person who is well-dressed and looks good. They judged that these people were more educated, smarter, had more money, and usually tended to be more likeable. People also tend to judge a person by the way he dresses. Take advantage of the facts by tidying yourself up
Step 5. Get excited
Many people have a hard time distinguishing enthusiasm from confidence. If you can't display confidence, it's a good thing to be enthusiastic. Is your favorite song playing on the radio station? Tell people how much you like the song. Did someone take you to see a movie you really wanted to see? Say how much you want to watch it. Your energy will rub off on others and will cheer them up and make others feel that you are a person full of positive feelings and self-confidence.
Keep making sure that your body matches your words. Imagine someone saying, "I can't wait to see that movie!" in a monotone voice and with both hands in pockets and eye movements sideways. You certainly will not feel sure of what they say. Now imagine a person whose eyes sparkle, hands up, and in a booming voice says, "I can't wait to see that movie!" That seems more convincing
Step 6. Tell yourself you can do it
The human mind is often a very powerful but fickle thing. In fact, research shows that the power of hope can reduce cancer risk. This is known as the placebo effect. In actual studies, patients thought they were on medication, when they weren't, and they "still" experienced improved recovery. If you tell yourself that you are capable, it will really happen. And if you tell yourself that you can't, it's very likely that you won't.
A large part of life is self-estimation. If you don't think about being confident, you won't be confident. When you think you can't do it well, you will do it badly. The right attitude can really change everything. And the only thing that can determine your attitude is yourself
- There's a saying: "Fake it until you can actually do it." You'll understand that once you pretend to be confident, you'll start acting confident.
- Don't worry too much about the things you need to do to be confident, just do it naturally.