Maybe you think that having confidence is like having blue eyes. You may or may not be born that way. If you have this mindset and feel low on self-confidence, you are set to accept failure. It's time to let go of the idea that not only can someone develop your self-confidence, change your way of thinking and act, but they can also tell you how you can develop the confidence and self-confidence that you didn't have until now. If you want to know how to become more confident, read step 1 to get started.
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Part 1 of 3: Developing the Right Mindset
Step 1. Be proud of your strength
If you want to feel confident, you must first think about the things you've been through. Maybe you think that there is nothing good about you, that you don't have any abilities that can help you, and that the appearance of those around you is much better and more attractive than yours. All these viewpoints must be thrown away if you are determined to change! Make a list of all your virtues, from being a good listener to singing with a beautiful voice. These good things may not mean much to you, but think about the fact that you really do have a lot to be proud of.
- If you like the idea of making lists, you can use them any time. Add to this list if you remember, "Oh, yeah, there's something else nice about me…" At a time when you're feeling down or seeming unappreciated, reread this list and you'll feel better.
- Talk to a close friend of yours about this. Ask your friends what your strengths are. Your friend may say something you never really realized because you can't see it yourself!
Step 2. Try to be an optimist
Optimism, like the city of Rome, certainly can't be built in one day, but that doesn't mean that it's meaningless to build a foundation for positive thinking and hoping for the best. Optimism and faith often go hand in hand, because people who are hopeful about the future and always hope that good things will happen tend to think that all good will come their way if they dare to live life or struggle hard to deal with it. Do the practice of observing your thoughts to see if any of them are negative, and try to counter every negative thought with at least three positive thoughts. With enough effort, you will soon be able to see this life in a more beautiful light.
When you're hanging out with friends, try practicing to talk about the fun things in your life or what you want, and you'll see that people respond to you better and you feel a better mood. good
Step 3. Prepare yourself
Preparing yourself for every situation, which is worth facing, can also help you to become a confident person. If you are facing a math test, it's better to use the time to study so that you succeed. If you are giving a presentation in front of the class, practice until you are ready. If you're going to a party, find out as much as you can about the party, such as who's coming, when the party starts, and other details, so you don't sound like a clueless person when you walk into the party room. While it's not possible to fully prepare for every situation, which is actually a fun and mysterious part of life, it can certainly make you feel like you're off to a good start.
- If you're hanging out in a group, you'll feel more confident when you have something to share than if you just sit back and listen to what other people have to say. To build self-confidence, you don't have to keep talking all the time but make it a habit to talk while feeling that you have useful things to say.
- You can prepare things to share by reading interesting articles, watching the news, doing research on recent activities or things that are fun for you. Discuss the topic you've researched in a conversation and see where it leads. Having information to back up what you are saying will make you more confident in a conversation.
- Your knowledge of a particular subject or special skill you have, from your knowledge of making furniture to choosing the right shoes for a school farewell, will have people looking to you for help. You can build self-confidence by helping other people and seeing that they can receive something from you.
Step 4. Stop comparing yourself to others
You just need to focus on yourself and how you can achieve your goals, instead of watching your neighbor wondering why you can't be the attractive/intelligent/confident person he is. Treat yourself well and focus on your dreams and goals so that you feel proud of yourself for achieving them.
- Realize that idolizing other people's lives based on appearances is common. In other words, you can't see the full picture of someone's life based solely on everyday interactions.
- Stop and refocus on yourself if you start to compare yourself to others. Look for ways that can make you successful, happy, and can improve the situation you are in.
- People who lack self-confidence will always question themselves and the life around them. Don't give doubts a chance by feeling ready to take on the tasks that await you.
Step 5. Free yourself from as many sources of negativity as possible
Unfortunately, you can't possibly rid yourself of every little thing that makes you feel bad about yourself, but of course you can hang out with positive people and be in situations that make you feel good about yourself. Consider the following:
- If you feel something is missing with your body or appearance because you always look at celebrity magazines or watch television, just leave this habit.
- If you often hang out with friends, family members, or a partner who always makes you feel worthless, it's time to question your relationship. Try to make changes in this relationship through assertive communication to show how someone is influencing how you feel. If the relationship is beyond repair, you may have to make the decision to end or limit your time with this person.
- If you're used to exercising that you really don't like and feel like you've been trying hard but not working, maybe it's time to find a place to train that better suits your needs, but this doesn't mean you have to stop when things get tough. but you should try to identify if something is not right for you.
Part 2 of 3: Putting It In Action
Step 1. Do new things
If you're having trouble with self-confidence, doing something completely new and different might not be fun for you. But it's time to be brave and take risks by doing what you never imagined. You can do this by introducing yourself to new people at a party, enrolling in a dance class even if you feel like you can't dance, or applying for a job that looks promising but can be quite stressful. The more you get used to trying new things, the more secure you will feel because you will develop an inner feeling that you are capable of dealing with whatever problems arise in your life. There are several ways to do new things:
- Start small. Start a conversation with someone you see often but never speak to each other, maybe a friend in Maths class sitting next to you or your neighbor.
- Plan trips to places you've never been, even if the city is only 80 km from your city. Get used to visiting new places and seeing new things.
- Learn a foreign language. Doing something completely new to you will be fun and can build your confidence.
Step 2. Choose the riskier one
Taking risks (which makes sense) has to do with doing new things and asserting who you are individually. If you want to become more confident, it's not enough just to try new things, but rather dare yourself to do what feels a little scary or uncertain. The risks you take don't always pay off, but you'll get used to the feeling of taking risks and seeing what the consequences are. By taking risks, you will no longer feel like someone destined for the little things that make you comfortable and you will feel capable of anything.
- Leave your comfort zone at least once a day. You can start chatting with the person you like, or even ask her out, if you're brave enough!
- If you don't feel right at work anymore but are afraid to quit your job, try applying for another job. Even if there are no results, you will realize that the risk you are taking is not so scary.
- Face your fears if you have to. You don't need to be desperate to bungee jump if you're afraid of heights, just get into the elevator to go up to the tenth floor and look out the window. You will find that you can truly overcome what has been holding you back for so long.
Step 3. Make time to hang out with people who make you feel good about yourself
Maintaining a positive influence can be even more beneficial in building self-confidence than preventing a negative influence. If you spend more time with people who care and can provide social support that is stress-free or trouble-free, you'll enjoy the benefits of feeling more confident in yourself and better able to control your emotions. Spend enough time hanging out with people who treat you well, and make this a habit.
Having fun with confident people will also help a lot. Instead of just being envious of them, find out and ask yourself, "What do they do differently than I do, and how can I form the same attitude?" You'll find that confident people don't have to be "better" than you at anything except having a positive view of themselves
Step 4. Develop a hobby
Being good at something, or better yet if you really like it, can make you feel more knowledgeable and happier which will boost your self-confidence. Having a hobby can stimulate creativity which will be useful in other situations such as at work and in your social interactions. What's more, hobbies can build social support that will benefit your emotional well-being.
You should set aside time to do what is a hobby or activity that makes you happy. This is an important but difficult thing for people who are busy at work or are attached to family interests
Step 5. Show confidence through your body language
Get in the habit of standing up straight because good posture can make you feel noticed and feel more confident. If you are always slouching, this will be a signal to yourself and others that you are unhappy with yourself and want to appear smaller than you really are. Instead, keep your back straight and pull your shoulders back so that your chest is straight.
- Don't fold your arms across your chest. Let your arms relax at your sides or use them to signal when you speak. This will make you appear as someone who is approachable and more willing to open up.
- Make polite eye contact when you speak. By looking someone in the eye, you are sending the message that you are comfortable talking to them, and are open to new ideas.
- Making eye contact with other people will also keep your head up. Looking down or at your feet all the time will make you not only look like you, but also feel less confident.
- You should also walk at a steady, confident pace, not dragging your feet. This will also make you look and feel more confident.
Step 6. Take the time to pay attention to your appearance
By giving yourself enough time to pay attention to your appearance by showing that you care about yourself, you'll notice that you're starting to see yourself in a more positive light. In addition, you should also maintain good personal hygiene, shower every day, comb your hair, and wear clean and neat clothes. If you don't care about your physical appearance, you're conveying to yourself and others as if you don't deserve the time you need to take care of yourself.
- If you look in the mirror and see someone who is well-dressed, you will be able to appreciate yourself better.
- Wear clothes that make you feel better about yourself. This means dressing that fits you (your current body size) and makes you look attractive according to your personality.
- This doesn't mean that you have to wear heavy makeup or wear clothes that make you feel like you're someone else. You must always be yourself as a person who gets used to living clean and healthy.
Part 3 of 3: Developing Yourself Further
Step 1. Learn from failure
Confident people don't just succeed at everything they try to do. But these people are able to accept failure and learn from mistakes, instead of giving up if something doesn't go well. If you didn't do well on a math test, didn't get hired after an interview, or got rejected by the person you're dating, don't let those things scare you into asking yourself what went wrong and how you learned through this mistake. Of course, sometimes you just fall victim to bad luck, but you must always feel in control of every situation so that you can do it better again.
- The mantra that says, "If you don't succeed the first time…" is true. Just imagine how boring life would be if you were always the best at whatever you tried to do. Instead, view failure as an opportunity to prove who you are next time.
- You have to learn to know where you went wrong while learning to accept when things are not going your way.
Step 2. Get more exercise
While exercise alone can make you feel like a rich person, getting into the habit of exercising at least 30 minutes a day, or just a few times a week, can make you feel better both mentally and physically. Exercise stimulates the brain to produce endorphins and physiologically makes you feel yourself so that your life will be better, and provide invaluable benefits for your body. This is a win-win situation, and setting an exercise goal that works for you can make you feel more confident.
You can also use exercise as an opportunity to get out of your comfort zone and dare to try new things. Some may still be afraid to start practicing yoga or take a Zumba class, but once you try it, it's not as scary as you might think
Step 3. Smile more
It's been proven that smiling not only makes you happier, but it can also make those around you more positive towards you. Smiling, even if you feel like this is the last thing you want to do, can also make you more confident when dealing with people and living your life. Smiling will also make it easier for other people to approach you, and invite new friends or new opportunities into your life just by moving your lips. There's no reason not to smile more, no matter how bad you feel!
Step 4. Don't be afraid to ask for help
Being a confident person doesn't mean that you have to be an all-around person who is always great at anything. But it does mean that you are a person who is able to admit that there is something you can't do on your own. There will be self-respect and confidence when you admit it, and if you ask for help in a time of need, not only will you be able to achieve more, you will also feel proud of yourself for reaching out to someone and asking for their help.
If you ask someone for help, they will usually ask for your help in return, and you will realize that you are really needed
Step 5. Learn to live in the moment
If you feel less confident, it may be because you are letting yourself sink into the past or worrying about what will happen in the future. Living in the moment can make you feel at peace with the things that are happening right now. This method will make you feel happier and more relaxed, but this habit is not an easy thing to do.
- Learning to let go of worries about the future and accept what happened in the past can help you live in the present.
- Do yoga or mindfulness meditation. This practice can also help you to live in the moment.
Tips
- Forget your fear of not being able to do a good job. Remember that no one is perfect. So don't be afraid to make mistakes.
- You just have to be yourself. Don't let anyone control you and force you not to be yourself because this is the only way you can truly feel confident.
- Realize the hidden abilities within you. Strive to be your best self by knowing what goals you want to achieve. Success is the real cause of self-confidence.
- Get in the habit of walking with your head held high, keeping your shoulders straight, and keeping your gaze straight ahead.
- Every night before bed, say positive things to yourself.
- Maintain good relationships with other people. Don't attack anyone because they may shun you and make you lose your confidence. Never be rude.
- Do your best to make a good impression on people who don't know you and are meeting you for the first time.
