It's easy to get stuck in one habit over and over again, and even if you want to move on, you may not know where to start. Before you can gain momentum, you need to know which behaviors to abandon and which behaviors to gain. Once you understand that, you can start taking the first few steps toward a better tomorrow.
Part 1 of 3: What You Need to Stop
Step 1. Let go of all past failures and pain
Regret, guilt, and dwelling on the bad things that happened in the past can prevent you from moving forward in the present and into the future. You can no longer control the past, but you can prevent the past from controlling you.
- Consider mistakes you made in the past that you don't want to repeat. Gather as many practical lessons as you can from mistakes and let go of any theoretical fears associated with them. For example, a young child may burn himself by touching a hot stove so that he learns not to touch another hot stove, but the experience does not have to prevent the child from touching and exploring other parts of his world.
- Past interactions with people can lead you to develop a grudge against them, but resentment also drains your own energy and resources and ultimately prevents you from moving forward.
Step 2. Don't leave control to someone else
Your life is yours for you to live. People may offer guidance and advice. Some of their guidance and advice can help, and some can hurt. Either way, you need to make decisions based on your own desires and ideas without worrying about what people expect of you.
- Remember that even those closest to you have only a limited understanding of who you really are.
- When you're pursuing a goal, some people may criticize you if your goals don't match what they think is important. For example, your new interest may not bring you much money, so someone who places money as a high priority will likely view your interest as a waste of time. Keep in mind that your values and the values of others are not always the same, so living according to other people's values will not bring satisfaction in your life.
Step 3. Make a decision to let go of doubts
Not making a choice is also a choice. Train yourself to be a more decision-making person. If you hold on to doubts, you will continue to doubt yourself in the most urgent of times.
Step 4. Stop procrastinating
Right now. You have an infinite number of “tomorrows”, and telling yourself that you will start doing something “tomorrow” can quickly become a habit. Stop procrastinating and start acting immediately.
Think of it this way: eventually you may discover that you've taken the wrong path, but the sooner you start your journey down that path, the sooner you can learn from your mistakes and fix them. Postponing the trip will only limit your future opportunities
Step 5. Stop running away
Problems and issues inevitably arise, and most of them cannot be avoided forever. The more time you waste escaping, the less time you have to move forward.
For example, if there is a misunderstanding or some other form of tension between you and someone, try to talk about it with them. The relationship between the two of you can break up after that, but it can also end up getting stronger. Either way, the problem will only get worse in life until you deal with it
Step 6. Leave a reason
Sure, there are often real obstacles that can prevent you from pursuing a particular idea or goal, but most of the time, what someone might perceive as an obstacle can be overcome with minimal effort. When there's an obstacle that can be overcome, telling yourself that it's preventing you from achieving something is just an excuse, and you need to stop making excuses.
Step 7. Eliminate the need for explanation
Events often happen in life without reason or explanation. It's natural to want an explanation for something, but fixating on that desire can really prevent you from moving forward if you refuse to act before getting an explanation.
Step 8. Realize and let go of fear
Everyone has their own set of fears and anxieties. Be honest with yourself when you recognize the fears that are preventing you from moving forward. After knowing what these fears are, start trying to let go of all those fears.
- Heartbreak is a great fear, especially for those who have experienced it. Understand that things can go well with other people even if in the past things didn't go well with someone.
- Another fear that haunts many people is the fear of the unknown. Change is a scary thing-everything can be for the better, or it can be for the worse. However, by avoiding the possible bad that "could" be waiting to happen around the corner, you end up forcing yourself to face the current bad that "is" already there while you prevent yourself from getting the good that might happen.
- Some people even fear success, especially if they don't like being famous. However, understand that people who treat you badly because you're famous generally don't deserve to be impressed from the start.
Part 2 of 3: What You Should Start Doing
Step 1. Accept imperfection
After all, no one is perfect. Mistakes are a part of life, and you will continue to make mistakes, no matter what you do or don't do. The sooner you accept the fact that you're not perfect, the sooner you can begin to act despite the fact.
Step 2. Look at the positives and appreciate the present
It is far too easy to focus on all the negative things in life. However, instead of thinking about all the things that are wrong, take a good look at all the things that are right and good. Life is often better than people think it is.
- Think about the things you are lucky enough to have and be grateful for them. Instead of lamenting the fact that you can't afford a great vacation trip or buy an awesome car, think about the support you get from family and friends or the simple pleasures you can enjoy in your home.
- You even have to acknowledge the good in the things you plan to leave behind. For example, you may be leaving a career you don't like, but it has allowed you to live a comfortable life. That, in itself, is something to be grateful for.
Step 3. Focus on the future
Learn from the past, respect the present, and focus on the future. Thinking about the life you want to have in the future will give you something to pursue, and having something to pursue will make it easier to move forward.
- While focusing on the future, you also need to make sure that you don't spend too much time worrying about it. Plan what can be planned and make dreams come true, but don't worry about the small details. After all, you can't control or predict everything.
- Concentrate on one definite goal and set high goals. Goals definitely give you something to achieve. However, having too many goals can divide your energy in too many different directions. Since you're only focusing on one goal at a time, it's even more important to set goals that challenge you and require you to use your abilities to the best of your ability.
Step 4. Believe in yourself
Be confident and brave. Think about what kind of person you want to be, and make sure that you have the basic requirements needed to become that person.
By thinking "as if" you are already the person you want to be, your behavior and mental image will naturally begin to conform to what it takes to really be that person
Step 5. Have some self-love
Try not to be so hard on yourself when you are already struggling. Moving forward is difficult for many people, and you will definitely have to take a step back a step or two every now and then. Show a little compassion for yourself for your weaknesses, but make sure that weaknesses don't define you.
Find comfort in your favorite things that are familiar to you. When a change in life threatens to overwhelm you, turn to familiar comforts to give yourself time to rest. Watch your favorite movie, eat your favorite food, or visit your favorite place
Step 6. Build a good relationship
Surrounding yourself with positive people will make it easier for you to maintain a positive attitude. Eliminate as much drama as possible and build relationships that provide you with the greatest strength.
- Be natural in your relationships and stop expecting people to do things. Allow yourself to be pleasantly surprised by positive interactions rather than disappointed by negative interactions.
- Find someone you can count on to talk about your fears and anxieties. Make sure the person can listen and give you advice without letting his or her own problems get in the way.
- When dealing with people, give without expecting anything in return. Sometimes your dedication will be repaid in kind; on other occasions, you will not get anything in return. Either way, you will build the skills and attitudes necessary to maintain meaningful relationships as a result of your own actions.
Step 7. Do what you love and love what you do
One of the easiest ways to build interest is to focus on something you already love or have a strong interest in. By doing what you love every day, you are likely to end up loving your life every day.
- Take a look at your habits and interests and determine if there is a way to profit from them.
- Develop strength. Everyone is naturally gifted in some way. If you're not sure where to start, start with one of your strongest talents and work your way up from there. The talent may not be your “love” at first, but it can develop into something you love or point you in the right direction.
Part 3 of 3: Taking the First Step Forward
Step 1. Make a “stop doing
Many people do the things they think they "should" do, rather than the things they "want" to do. Often times, even the things you think you should do aren't really even important. Take some time to sit down and make a list of all the things you "should" do that don't really matter or you don't want to.
- To find out what activities you need to stop, ask yourself which things are driving you down and preventing you from reaching your goals. Of these things, ask yourself honestly which ones are “necessary” and which ones you are doing simply out of a misplaced sense of responsibility.
- Make sure that the things on your “stop doing” list are real problems. For example, you may think that you are unhappy with your marriage when, in fact, you are unhappy with your job and allow that dissatisfaction to tarnish other areas of your life.
Step 2. Focus on the “doable” part first
Big goals can seem daunting, so break them down into smaller pieces. Chances are there is at least one thing you can do right now to make your dreams come true. Find it and start working on it.
For example, if you want to start a new business, you can take the first step by starting a blog and various social media accounts for that business. Once you have something tangible to look at, it may become easier to do the research that needs to be done before taking the next concrete step
Step 3. Help people who have similar problems
Finding solutions to your own problems can be difficult because it is impossible for you to look at the problem objectively. On the other hand, helping people solve their problems allows you to be an objective observer. You can then use what you have learned from your experience helping others and apply that knowledge to your own situation.
Step 4. Take a trip
Seeing new sights can often change your overall perspective on life. If you're struggling about taking that first step forward while you're doing your daily routine, vary it a bit by taking a short trip.
- Traveling also forces you to think about the present instead of thinking about the past or worrying about the future.
- You can also turn this into a practical exercise by attending seminars, conferences, or events related to the new career or interest you want to try.
Step 5. Try something new
Another way to change your daily routine and work yourself out of a repetitive habit is to just try something you've never done before. The change doesn't have to be something very exciting or challenging, but it should be something that interests you even though it's outside your usual comfort zone.