To be tough, you need more than a big mouth. Tough people are able to handle difficult situations with strength and grace. They stay positive without letting a cynical look down on them, and they are people who offer to take the lead when needed. Like wisdom, toughness can only be gained through experience. In fact, every problem you face will give you a chance to become more resilient. If in the future you run into a complicated problem, will you give up and lose, or do you choose to be tough?
Step
Part 1 of 3: Have a Resilient Mindset
Step 1. Gather your confidence
Toughness and confidence always come together. Being resilient is ultimately a matter of what choices you make to solve the problem at hand. Having self-confidence will enable you to make the right decisions and do them well. If you're not confident enough to take on a challenge, it's probably because you need more self-confidence.
- Learn to recognize your true opinion, rather than allowing yourself to be swayed by what other people say. Trust yourself to know the most appropriate way to solve the problem that occurs.
- Don't compare yourself to other people. This is a common mistake, because comparing yourself to others hurts your self-esteem. The next time you are faced with a decision to make, look inside yourself.
- Learn to say no. People will respect your opinion more if you say what's on your mind. Always look the other person in the eye when saying no, so they know you believe in your answer.
Step 2. Remain calm under pressure
Do you often cry when something makes you angry or upset? Being tough doesn't mean you have no emotions, but it does mean that you have to keep your emotions in check in order to think clearly and make rational decisions. Start to be a little hard on yourself when you get bad news.
- Before you do anything, take a deep breath and count to ten. This is a well-known trick that can keep you cool. After 10 seconds, the emotions that appeared earlier will become calmer.
- Channel your energy into other activities instead of spilling it on other people. Exercising, journaling, and meditating are all great things to do to make the emotions you release more positive.
Step 3. Don't worry about the little things
If you want to be tough, you can't let bad news or negative comments ruin your day. If every little problem gets you into trouble, you won't have the energy to solve the bigger problem. Be tougher.
- Worrying about other people's judgments is a waste of time. Of course people will disagree and judge your decision every now and then; it is their problem. As long as what you're doing doesn't hurt anyone else, you're fine.
- Don't get angry easily. Traffic jams, queues at the post office, and other distractions don't have to make you irritable. If you can't take care of parcel delivery without peace of mind, how can you deal with the real problem?
Step 4. Follow your goals
Everyone sets their goals, but following them is a different matter. Most goals require tireless work to achieve. If you want to be tough, put all your time into it and do what you can to achieve it.
- Make your goals achievable step by step, and set a schedule for getting them all done. This way you will know what you need to achieve the bigger goal.
- Be persistent. If you give up before reaching your goal, you have allowed yourself to lose. Don't let yourself lose interest or passion for hard work.
Step 5. Get up after making a mistake
Making mistakes is inevitable in life. Resilient people use their mistakes as a tool to learn how to do better later. If you let your mistakes keep you from getting better, or make you worse, and blame someone else every time something goes wrong, try taking a different approach to seeing your mistakes.
Admit if you did something wrong. One of the most common mistakes in being a tough person is to think you have to always act right. In fact, the opposite is true: tough people will endure the mistakes they make themselves
Step 6. Have a more optimistic outlook
You don't have to be cheerful all the time, but having an optimistic outlook is generally the same as being tough. Having hope for the future is an asset when life gets more difficult. People who complain a lot and are pessimistic about the future will not be able to face disaster or despair.
Part 2 of 3: Facing Problems in Life
Step 1. Face reality
Don't try to avoid a difficult situation by running away or pretending nothing happened. The ability to face reality will allow you to make important decisions that have a positive impact. If you close your ears tightly, your problems will only get bigger.
Resist the temptation to ignore your problem with runaway behavior. Using alcohol, drugs, watching too much TV, staying online all night, gambling and similar behaviors will make it even more difficult for you to face reality
Step 2. Reconsider your decision
With all kinds of problems you are facing, you have the choice to do something. It's up to you to decide how you will react and what action you will take. Sometimes the right choice is very clear, and sometimes the right and wrong look almost the same. Take time to think clearly and determine the most appropriate course of action.
Let's say you get some bad news: you were not accepted into the program for which you were applying. What steps can you take from here? Is there a wrong way to react? What's the right way?
Step 3. Get advice from wise people
Listening to advice will not make you weak. Other people's opinions can come in handy when you're faced with a situation you've never been in before. Ask people you trust what they would do if they were in your position. Remember, only you can make the best decisions. Other people's opinions are another option after your own.
- Trusted friends and family members are great people to turn to for big decisions. Take their advice as necessary, though, people who know you, may have their own opinion on the decisions you make. For example, your mother might prefer that you don't move to another city, her opinion about the school you should choose may be contaminated with her personal preferences.
- Going to a therapist or counselor is a good idea when you feel a professional opinion is needed.
Step 4. Follow your heart
The little voice within you will get bigger as you gain a lot of experience and wisdom. After assessing the situation from multiple perspectives and hearing some outside opinions, it's time to act on your own will. Being tough means acting with honor and courage, no matter how terrible the decisions you make.
Step 5. Don't back down (unless you have to)
When you've made a decision, stick with it and stick to it. The hardest decisions are usually the ones you hate the most, so there will be times when other people seem to be against you. Stay strong when others are trying to bring you down to do what you think is right.
There are exceptions to this – such as when an action you take turns out to be wrong. Don't then get defensive if you're accused of making a mistake. Think carefully about what happened and decide if you will stick with your actions. If you realize it could have been better, admit it
Part 3 of 3: Stay Strong
Step 1. Take care of your physical fitness
Being physically strong is a boon to your mind as well. If you always feel tired and unwell, it will be more difficult to deal with the problems that occur. Don't neglect your health if you want to be tough.
- Get enough sleep. This will keep you healthy and help you stay mentally alert. Sleep for 7-8 hours a night. Make sleep a priority!
- Eat lots of fruits and vegetables. Make them part of your regular diet to provide the vitamins and nutrients your mind needs to stay fresh.
- Exercise. Cardio and strength training will keep your body and mind in shape.
- Release stress. If your world is full of a million things to do, this will affect your ability to make the right decisions.
Step 2. Build strong relationships with other people
Strength has a limit. It's easier to build a wall around you than it is to build strong, deep relationships with other people. Earning and maintaining the trust of others is not easy. It may sound strange, but building strong relationships with other people is one of the most important parts of being resilient.
- Show your family, friends and colleagues that you are trustworthy and responsible. Answer e-mails and phone calls when they need you.
- Take a position as a leader in your community. You can volunteer to help others, coach a sports team, create a garden in your neighborhood, and such things. Help your community!
Step 3. Enrich your spiritual life
Having an active spiritual life will help you gain the perspective you need when the problems you are facing are particularly difficult. Find ways to become spiritually aware and connected to all parts of the earth. Doing yoga, meditation, attending places of worship, and spending time outdoors are all excellent ways to enrich yourself spiritually.
Step 4. Stick to your principles
In the end, being tough is a matter of knowing your principles and putting them into action. Understanding this will help you ward off any insults and keep you out of drama. This will help you know what's important to you and set your goals. Most importantly, it will help you make a firm decision on what you think is right.
Tips
- Speak in a fairly loud voice. No one will listen if you speak too slowly, and no one will notice if you speak too loudly.
- Look someone in the eye when you are talking to them.
- Don't let your "tough attitude" make you an aggressive person, control yourself.
- You don't want people to think you're crazy, so avoid making weird facial expressions or yelling a lot.
Warning
- Don't be selfish. There is a big difference between being confident and being arrogant.
- Threatening others will make things worse, and can get you in trouble.
- Realize that people don't always want to do what you ask for their own reasons. Make sure you listen to what they have to say, or they won't want to hear you.
- Don't speak too loudly, or you'll sound like you're screaming.
