Sooner or later, as we go through life, we will meet people who are very opinionated. Whether it's friends, family, or coworkers, such people can irritate us. No matter what the topic of conversation, such people are quick to show that they are the experts and offer their views to anyone who will listen. When it comes to people who are opinionated, you have to decide whether you want to confront them or learn to accept them for what they are.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Confronting People With Strong Opinions
Step 1. Assess whether you should confront the behavior
Interacting with someone who is opinionated is inevitable. So you have to choose which one you want to confront wisely so as not to engage in verbal warfare when you meet such a person.
- If the opinionated person is a co-worker, you may be able to resist the annoying behavior by politely listening or simply not listening. It's likely that the reputation of the stubborn co-worker has already spread and everyone else has developed their own way of dealing with it.
- If the strong-minded person is an acquaintance or distant relative, you may be able to see the person less often or spend time with them only if you are with someone else so you can distance yourself from them. Again, ask your friends who know the person for better tips on dealing with the person.
- If the opinionated person is a close friend or family member, you may have to confront the issue before your relationship is irreparably damaged, especially if that person is your partner. You may have to bring up the topic more than once. Tell the problem before the hurt makes you stay away and isolate yourself from your partner.
Step 2. Confront the person personally
Whoever you are confronting, you should try to get that person to talk privately. Talking to him in public will only embarrass him and hurt his feelings.
- Keep speaking a respectful tone. Your tone of voice and demeanor are important if you are to take steps to address a problem you are having because of an opinionated person. Make sure your tone is not angry or sarcastic. Speak softly while making non-threatening gestures. If the person is angry, don't raise your voice or get angry too.
- Remain calm and in control during interactions. The worst way to interact with an opinionated person is to be defiant and dominant. Such an approach will only lead to competition to prove who knows more or who can dominate. No one wins in such a situation.
Step 3. Give an example of an ideal conversation strategy
You cannot set higher standards for others than you set for yourself. Therefore, for the self-aware person, you should set an example that you know nothing and that you recognize that admitting flaws is not a sign of a weak person.
-
Use statements that focus on “I” instead of “you”. Even if you think the person is causing trouble, you must resist the temptation to speak accusingly. Instead, state the problem you are experiencing from your point of view.
"Lately I feel like you don't respect my opinion," is better than, "You keep talking and don't respect me."
- Listen as much as you speak. It's possible that a strong-minded person is upset and angry that you confronted them. If that happens, take a deep breath and make sure you're listening and not interrupting the person's conversation. If you have to leave before the conversation gets tense, don't hesitate to do so.
-
Practice active listening. If the person is defensive and trying to explain their point of view, repeat what the person said to prove that you listened carefully.
You could say something like, “I heard you didn't mean to offend and I overreacted. However, I'm still bothered by what you're saying and I hope you'll take my feelings into account."
Step 4. Show respect during the confrontation
Even if a strong-minded person doesn't fully understand the topic he or she is talking about, you should always treat him or her like a human being with genuine conviction and feelings.
-
Asking questions also shows respect. An opinionated person is less likely to dismiss your concerns if you appear to be trying to understand their point of view.
Examples of questions to ask during a confrontation include, “How can I communicate better with you,” or, “What do you think we can do to improve our working relationship?”
- Arm yourself with a variety of facts. When confronting a hard-headed person, you need to show that the person's behavior is bad for other people, including you. Share facts and research about teamwork in the office that disappears when only one person speaks up or friendships break down if one's opinion is not respected.
Part 2 of 3: Dealing with People with a Strong Opinion
Step 1. Shut your mouth and smile
In some cases, such as if an opinionated person is your boss, you have no choice but to do your best in a bad situation.
Distract the conversation from topics that make you uncomfortable. If you don't want to talk about a topic that an opinionated person is discussing, shift the focus of the conversation to something more interesting. Ask about the person's family or hobbies, anything better than the topic they're passionate about
Step 2. Make an escape plan
If you find that you need to spend time with an opinionated person, make a plan to minimize the time you spend with them.
In the office, that means you should avoid areas where the person is really good at so you can excuse yourself and leave the situation. At family outings, plan activities that will allow you to avoid talking to him one-on-one
Step 3. Set limits
If an outspoken person insists on discussing religious, political, or other topics that concern you, you can try to talk privately with the person and convey that you don't like discussing those topics and would be happy to avoid such discussions..
- Be firm. If the person is still discussing the above topic, remind him or her that you don't want to talk about it.
- Say something like, “I know you don't want to offend, but I don't like talking about it. I really don't want to talk about it."
- Or you can just deflect the topic, “Let's talk something lighter, shall we? How's your baby?"
Step 4. Be wise
If an outspoken person is constantly making suggestions or trying to show you a better way to do something, you can simply respond with, “Thanks for the suggestion,” or, “Thanks for pointing it out.” If he fixes you, you should take his advice. But if not, just ignore it and do your best.
- Realize that your reactions may be at odds with those of a more opinionated person. There are times when the words of strong-minded people are true, but they are conveyed in an obnoxious or domineering way. If that's the case, you may be tempted to ignore his suggestions just to emphasize your point of view. Don't let anger cloud your judgment.
- Resist the temptation to be passive-aggressive. Even if you don't get into an argument with a more opinionated person, you may be tempted to roll your eyes or grumble quietly. Doing such things will only increase the tension between you and the person.
Part 3 of 3: Changing Thoughts on People With Strong Opinions
Step 1. Realize that opinionated people may not be aware of their own behavior
In most cases, opinionated people don't mean to offend and may wonder why people stay away from them. If you empathize, instead of judging them, you may be able to become an integral part of the person's understanding of the situation.
Step 2. Try to get to know the person more deeply
If you don't like the person anymore, getting to know them better will be very difficult. In fact, try to see him as a person who has his own family, friends, and life. The more you get to know the person, the easier it will be for you to empathize with them.
Step 3. Look to the opinionated person as a potential resource
Since such an opinionated person will have no shortage of opinions to share, you may be able to take advantage of whatever knowledge he has.
For example, the person may know something about the dynamics of the office you work for and be open enough to share information with you that no one else will. If the person is a family member, he or she may tell a story that no one else has told because it's rude. You will be surprised when you realize what you can learn
Step 4. Find common ground
Even if you find the person annoying, you must have some common interests. If you don't want to talk about politics, maybe you both like music. Or if you don't want to talk about sports, maybe you can talk about adventures with your family and parenting. Find your common interests and focus on them.
Tips
- Understand the difference between opinion and violence. If a coworker insists on discussing a topic that is inappropriate or very personal, you shouldn't respond. Such conversations can create a dangerous work environment. You have the right to report it to management.
- If you're confronting a colleague or coworker about their behavior, and they don't listen or their behavior escalates, you may want to talk to your boss about it. However, you must be careful. If you take this path, you cannot predict the outcome. You could be seen as a troublemaker or a rebel, and could get someone suspended or even fired.
- If the stress you feel from dealing with an opinionated person is unbearable, don't hesitate to see a counselor. It will be difficult for you to look at the situation objectively because you are in the middle of it. A more objective outsider can provide views that are invisible to you.
