Would you like to have the ability to live the ups and downs of life with strength and dignity? Mentally and emotionally strong doesn't happen overnight. If you are able to see every problem that occurs as an opportunity to practice becoming stronger, you will be able to increase wisdom and enlightenment that can be tested when things in life get really tough.
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Method 1 of 4: Identifying Difficulties and Setting Goals
Step 1. Understand what emotional flexibility means
Mentally and emotionally strong or flexible means being able to adapt to various conditions such as stress, trauma, adversity, or tragedy. Flexibility is not something that you are born with, but a process that anyone can learn, and can find in ordinary people.
- Being emotionally strong doesn't mean not experiencing pain or suffering-flexibility is usually learned when a person is faced with a very painful situation. What this means is that you learn to wake up or bounce back from the experience.
- To develop flexibility, you need to focus on developing certain skills, such as planning and executing, developing self-confidence and a positive view of yourself, learning to manage strong feelings and drives, and learning to communicate and solve problems efficiently.
Step 2. Learn about emotional structuring
Learning to manage your emotions is another important part of being mentally and emotionally strong. You may not be able to control the problems in life, but you can always choose how you react. Again, this is not an innate skill, anyone can learn to manage emotions productively.
Step 3. Identify the specific area you want to change
Before you can build mental and emotional strength, you must know your strengths and difficulties in order to determine what you want to change. List as many strengths and problems as you can think of. After completing the list, figure out how to turn each difficulty into a workable goal.
For example, in your list of difficulties include the fact that you have difficulty asserting a need. If you want to solve this problem, you need to say that your goal is to be more assertive
Step 4. Acknowledge your strengths
In addition to identifying areas for change, you should take the time to acknowledge your strengths. Read your list of strengths and congratulate yourself for having these positive attributes. A reasonable sense of pride in yourself will help you to stay focused on positive qualities and help build mental and emotional strength.
Step 5. Think again about past experiences
The reason why you feel like you're not strong enough mentally or emotionally may have something to do with something that happened in the past. Past experiences can affect mental and emotional strength, both months ago and way back when you were a child. Research shows that children who are abused, neglected, or otherwise harmed are more likely to have mental and emotional problems, which can lead them to abuse drugs or attempt suicide.
- Try to determine whether it is possible that negative childhood experiences contributed to your current mental and emotional state. Think about how and why the experience affected you in such a way.
- You may need to talk to a therapist about past experiences so you can understand and deal with them, and move on.
Step 6. Determine if you have a dependency that requires treatment
Dependence on drugs, alcohol, sex, or something else can damage mental and emotional strength. If you feel dependent on something, seek help to break the bad habit. If the dependence in question is severe, you may need treatment. Talk to a therapist or doctor if you think the addiction is starting to damage your mental and emotional strength.
Step 7. Record your thoughts and feelings in a journal
Keeping a journal can help you understand what might be causing you trouble, and it's also a great way to reduce stress. If you want to start journaling, choose a comfortable place and plan to devote at least 20 minutes per day to writing. You can start by writing down your feelings or thoughts, or you can use encouraging sentences. Some encouraging sentences that can be used include:
- “I feel helpless when…”
- “My biggest difficulty is…”
- “If I could talk to myself when I was little, I would say…”
- “When you feel down, the best I can do or say to myself is…”
Step 8. Consider talking to a therapist
Without help, it may not be easy for you to figure out why you're having a hard time and determine the best way to deal with your feelings. A licensed mental health professional can help you understand your feelings and help you deal with them.
Always remember that feeling mentally and emotionally vulnerable may be the result of a health problem that requires treatment. Talking to a therapist can help you understand what's really going on and decide on the best course of action
Method 2 of 4: Living a Balanced Life
Step 1. Get rid of bad habits that disturb mental peace
If you toy with mental health by drinking alcohol, doing drugs, stealing, lying, and so on, you are only diminishing your ability to be strong mentally and emotionally. Start gradually getting rid of the bad habit, or at least limit it so that it doesn't control your behavior and emotions. If you have a dependency, seek help
Step 2. Take care and take care of yourself
Exercise, healthy eating, rest, and relaxation will help you develop and maintain mental and emotional strength. By taking care of yourself, you are sending a signal to your mind that you deserve attention. Make sure you devote enough time to meeting the basic needs for exercise, food, sleep, and relaxation.
- Regular exercise. Set to exercise 30 minutes per day.
- Adopt a balanced diet with whole and healthy foods such as fruit, vegetables, whole grains, and lean protein.
- Get eight hours of sleep every night.
- Set aside at least 15 minutes per day to practice yoga, do deep breathing exercises, or meditate.
- Drink plenty of water, at least eight glasses a day and more if you are exercising and sweating.
Step 3. Enrich your mind
Challenge yourself to keep learning all the time. You will be mentally stronger and wiser the more knowledge you gain. Don't let yourself get stuck in one pattern, both mentally and physically. Be curious, develop sensitivity, and be informed about the world.
- You can enrich your mind by reading books, watching good movies, attending concerts, watching plays, watching ballet performances, and absorbing art in its various forms.
- Make your own artwork. Writing, painting, composing music, sculpting, knitting, and all that stimulates your creative side.
- Learn new skills. Be the master of the kitchen, do DIY projects around the house, grow crops in the garden, learn to drive a manual car, learn to fish, or train for a 5km run.
- Talk to other people. Engage in deep conversations that are more than small talk. Know other people's life stories and tell yours too.
Step 4. Deepen your spiritual side
Many people gain strength by paying attention to their spirituality. Having a relationship with something bigger than yourself, whatever it may be, can imbue the soul with power and a sense of purpose. Research shows that spirituality and prayer help relieve stress and reduce recovery time when sick. Spirituality can take many forms, so find one that works for you. There is no more precise way than any other in spirituality.
- Consider visiting a place of worship to pray with others.
- Do meditation or yoga.
- Spend time in nature and admire the beauty of nature.
Method 3 of 4: Building Mental and Emotional Strength
Step 1. Set a goal and follow the path
You can practice building mental strength by setting meaningful goals and working towards them, step by step. To be able to move from one step to the next, you need to work on your own, be able to overcome boredom and suffering, and persevere until you succeed. It's not easy, and the more you practice, the better you'll become at achieving your goals.
- If you have a big goal that seems unattainable, break it down into smaller, doable steps. For example, if you want to be more assertive, you can set a goal to state your opinion three times per week. For example, it might be as trivial as telling your partner that you want to have dinner at a certain restaurant, not just following your partner's choice.
- Have a "defensive" attitude. Decide that even if you experience setbacks, you will continue to try, whether for the purpose of keeping a job, completing projects, managing finances, and so on.
- View failure as a learning opportunity. Failure is just a temporary setback full of lessons to be learned.
Step 2. Be strong against negativity
Negative attitudes come in a variety of ways, perhaps from within in the form of negative thoughts and talking to yourself with a charge of danger, or from the outside in the form of negative feedback or violence by others. While eliminating negativity is something that is beyond human control, there are ways to deal with it.
- Deal with negative thoughts by learning to identify and challenge them. Learn more by reading the article How to Overcome Negative Thoughts.
- While you may be able to minimize contact with negative or "toxic" people-perhaps you can even get them out of your life forever-sometimes these are family members, coworkers, or other people you need to see often. Instead of taking negativity to heart, you can learn how to stay out of touch with the person and set boundaries. The wikiHow article How to Deal with Negative People is a fantastic resource that teaches you how.
Step 3. Talk to yourself in a positive tone
Positive affirmations practiced daily can help develop mental and emotional strength. Take a few moments each day to look at yourself in the mirror and say something encouraging. You can say something that you believe or that you want to believe is in you. Some examples of positive affirmations are:
- "I try to be emotionally strong every day."
- "I'm learning more productive ways to manage stress and be kind to myself."
- "I know if I take small steps toward my goals every day, I'll feel stronger mentally and emotionally."
Step 4. Remain calm under pressure
When the situation starts to heat up and you feel your emotions are boiling over, don't let it go. When you can control yourself and don't act impulsively and reactively, you have more time to weigh your options and find the wisest solution.
- Counting to 10 may sound cliché, but it really works. Before starting an emotional reaction to something, take a break, take a deep breath, and think it over thoroughly.
- Meditation can help you stay calm, because it teaches you to be more objective about your emotions and thoughts. Instead of reacting, you can explore your thoughts and emotions, then say, "Okay, I'm feeling really frustrated right now," and then figure out what to do next.
Step 5. Don't dwell on small things
If you're sensitive to the small annoyances and negative comments you encounter on a daily basis, you'll be wasting your time and energy on things that don't really matter. When you get hung up on the little things and think or think they are big things, not only is stress increased, but your risk of mortality is also increased. Learning to adjust your attitude so that you can calmly deal with everyday stressors will help control your stress hormone (cortisol), protect you from decreased immune function and health conditions such as high blood pressure and cholesterol, as well as an increased risk of heart disease.
- Instead of stress, develop healthy habits of thinking about whatever's bothering you, calm yourself down, and decide on the best, healthiest, most productive way to deal with it.
- For example, if your husband keeps forgetting to close his toothpaste, realize that the closed toothpaste may not be as important to him as you think it is. You can choose a way of dealing with the situation-closing your own toothpaste and thinking of other ways your husband can contribute to the household, or sticking a (sweet) note on the wall as a gentle reminder.
- Watch out for perfectionism, which can lead to very high and unrealistic expectations of yourself and your day-to-day life, forgetting to consider factors that are out of your control.
- Try a visualization exercise to let go of the little things that bother you. Hold a small rock and imagine that it contains a lot of things that are bothering you. Concentrate on the negative that you feel and squeeze the rock tightly. Then when it's ready, throw the stone away. Throw it in the river or far across the field. While doing so, imagine that you are also getting rid of all the little things and negative feelings that come with them.
Step 6. Change your perspective
If you tend to dwell on your own problems, find a way to look at your life and all its possibilities in a different light. Everyone encounters dead ends from time to time, and those with mental and emotional strength are able to find other ways to reach their goals. If you're having trouble getting out of your own mind, try these techniques:
- Read more. Reading the news or a novel allows you to enter another person's world. Reading serves as a reminder that the world is a big place and your problems are just a tiny drop in the ocean.
- Volunteer. Interact with people who need help. Several studies have shown that volunteering has major benefits for physical and mental health.
- Be a listener to your friends. Listen to someone who really needs your advice. Put yourself in his shoes and give the best and most sincere advice.
- Travel to visit various places. Getting out of your comfort zone can really help you change the way you look at the situation you're in. Go somewhere new, even if it's just out of town.
Step 7. Have a positive outlook
Mentally and emotionally strong people tend to complain less. They have as many problems as anyone else, but stay calm and focused on a bigger goal. Having a positive attitude towards everything that happens in life and the possibilities that lie ahead will go a long way in helping you during difficult times. Several studies have shown that a positive outlook on life is also beneficial for physical health.
- Allow yourself to enjoy the happy times. Try to enjoy being with family, friends, pets, and others as often as possible
- Look for the positive side in difficult situations. Whatever the situation, there is always a lesson to be learned.
Step 8. Be honest with yourself
The ability to face reality is perhaps the greatest sign of a person's mental and emotional strength. If you want to overcome obstacles, you must be able to face them. Lying to yourself about what happened will only hurt you in the end.
- If you have runaway tendencies, such as watching a lot of TV as a way of avoiding problems, identify the bad habit and work to overcome it.
- Be honest about the difficulties you face.
Method 4 of 4: Facing Life's Problems
Step 1. Think before you act
When faced with a difficult situation, take as much time as you need to think thoroughly before reacting or making a decision. You'll have enough time to control your emotions and weigh your options, and this is a must no matter what situation you're in.
- If you can, take the time to evaluate the situation and write down your feelings. Try to identify at least one positive thing about the situation, however small it may be. Changing the way you think in these small ways can make a big difference.
- Remember to take at least 10 seconds to absorb the information or situation before you speak. Even if your boyfriend just said he wants to break up, you can take a 10 second pause to calm down before answering. After that, you'll be glad you did it this way.
Step 2. Consider all angles
Before deciding what to do, calmly think carefully about the situation at hand. What really happened? What are the possible paths to take? There is always more than one way to deal with a problem.
Let's say a friend asks you to take part in an illegal activity, and you're not sure how to choose between loyal friends and obeying the law. Weigh the pros and cons of both paths you can take. Is your friend really a friend when he asks you to break the law? Or does the law get in the way of true justice?
Step 3. Set and take the right path
Use your conscience as a guide. Research shows that people who make decisions based on instinct tend to be more satisfied with their decisions than people who weigh decisions carefully. Sometimes the answer is obvious, and sometimes it's really hard to decide what is the right thing to do. Don't let the problem spiral out of control, make a decision and run.
- Consult with people you trust. If you're not sure which way to go, there's nothing wrong with asking someone else's opinion. Just don't let them influence you to do the wrong thing.
- Imagine what the person you admire would do. That person must be level-headed, honest, and kind. What would he do in this situation?
- Ultimately, you must take responsibility for your own actions. Make the best decisions you can, decisions you can bear going forward.
Step 4. Reflect on what happened
After experiencing a difficult situation, think about what happened, how you handled it, and how it turned out. Are you proud of your actions? Is there something you would do differently if you could? Learn as much as you can from the experience. Wisdom can only be obtained from this kind of practice. Keeping track of what happened, instead of trying to get it out of your head, will help you know what to do if you face another challenge in the future.
If the result doesn't go as planned, that's okay. Remind yourself that things don't always go smoothly, and that you don't always get exactly what you want. This applies to everyone, including people whose lives seem fantastic
Tips
- Stay away from people who don't value you and make you feel weak.
- Try meditating to stay focused and calm.
- Try to enjoy the present moment, don't dwell too much on your problems in the past, and what you worry about in the future.
