Emotional abuse occurs when something is said, implied, or done to hurt someone's feelings intentionally and regularly over a period of time. Daily arguments, temptations, insults, or other negative habits are common in a relationship. However, behavior patterns that hurt feelings can eventually turn into relationships with emotional abuse. You may be in an emotionally abusive relationship if your partner makes you feel like you're not good enough for them, uses nicknames that demean or belittle you, threaten or intimidate you, or you're afraid your partner will leave you. If you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, realize that you cannot change your partner's behavior and that you should seek help and end the relationship.
Step
Method 1 of 2: Dealing with the Current Situation
Step 1. Watch for signs of emotional abuse
Emotional abuse aims to make you feel insignificant and strip you of your independence and self-worth. Your partner may make you feel isolated, use bullying, or controlling behavior. Even though your partner may not use physical action, he or she is still potentially abusive.
- Your partner may limit your freedom (don't let you spend time with certain people or force you to know where you are), ignore you (act as if you don't exist, blame you for things you didn't do), or put you down by a derogatory nickname, insulting to your family or work.
- Controlling patterns of emotionally violent behavior can extend to financial problems. Emotional abuse can include your partner keeping tabs on your finances, holding you accountable for every penny you have, preventing you from holding your money, or limiting your spending.
- Emotional abuse can also include your partner watching your time, forcing you to check your phone and email, and limiting your interactions with your family.
Step 2. Be aware of your rights
You have the right to be treated with respect in an equal relationship with your partner. You have the right to change your mind and/or end the relationship if the relationship no longer works for you. You have the right to have your own opinion, even if your partner doesn't agree with yours. You deserve clear and honest answers to important questions. You have the right to refuse if your partner wants to make physical contact.
Those are your rights. Don't let your partner convince you otherwise
Step 3. Realize that you cannot change your partner's behavior
Making your partner understand or realize that he or she is hurting you is not your responsibility. Rude people don't change because they receive your affection. They can only change by learning how to act with compassion.
You are not helping your partner by staying in the relationship. You may feel like the only person who understands your partner or feel like a really good person if you get to know him or her, but don't underestimate the pain this person is causing. Being in a relationship with someone who doesn't respect you is not heroic
Step 4. Don't reply
Rude people are good at manipulating and maybe luring you in until you can't take it anymore, then blaming you for everything. Do not reply to any insults, insults, or threats. While it may be difficult to control your anger, remember that it is a trap and you will suffer the consequences.
Never respond to a partner with physical violence, even if you are provoked. Try controlling your impulses by taking a walk, taking deep breaths, or stopping an argument with your partner
Step 5. Be aware of the long-term risks of an emotionally abusive relationship
Relationships with emotional abuse can have an impact on physical health such as migraines, arthritis, and pain, mental health such as depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, and alcohol and drug abuse, and sexual health such as an increased risk of contracting sexually transmitted diseases, or pregnancy. unwanted.
Step 6. Ask for help
Tell friends and relatives, and ask for their support. Tell them what you are going through and that you need their support to stop the situation. Most likely they will be willing to help you in any way.
- You can create some kind of signal to signal to them that you need help, such as a coded SMS. “I'm making lasagna for dinner,” could be code for, “I'm in trouble, please.”
- Ask friends, family, neighbors, religious leaders, or anyone else who can help you.
Method 2 of 2: Ending the Relationship
Step 1. Realize when to say goodbye
Sometimes, there are relationships that go wrong and can't be saved anymore. For your own good, and the good of your mental health, try to realize as early as possible whether it's worth fighting for your relationship. Remember, your abusive partner is very unlikely to change.
- Don't let yourself depend on the relationship because you're afraid to give up the relationship. Remind yourself of all the pain your partner has caused and that it's better for you to end the relationship. It may be hard to imagine life without those relationships, but you deserve to be treated with respect.
- Don't allow repeated violence or make excuses for your partner's abusive behavior.
Step 2. Put your safety first
Realize that abusive people rarely change and that the abusive behavior is likely to get worse over time, and can turn into physical violence. With this in mind, put your safety first. You may respond to threats in different ways if you fear violence, such as avoiding them or not fighting back. While not defending yourself may feel difficult or hurt you, remember that you are prioritizing your safety until you can take the next step.
- If you are in danger and are concerned about your safety or personal safety, call Emergency Services and go to a safe place immediately.
- If you feel your home isn't safe, go to a relative's, a friend's, or anywhere else that makes you feel safe.
- Prioritize your child's safety. If you have children, protect them. Take him to a safe place like your friend's house.
Step 3. Always carry your phone with you
You may have to call for help, the police, or handle an emergency situation regarding your safety. Charge your phone to keep your phone on standby at all times so you're safe.
Put important numbers you need to call in an emergency into speed dial, such as the phone numbers of friends, family, or the police
Step 4. Escape to a safe place
When planning an escape, consider any possible risks. If you run away with the kids, for example, make sure your partner doesn't chase them or even hurt them. You may even want to run away to a different place from the children if you are concerned about yourself and their safety. Go to a place that is safe and keeps you protected from your partner. These places may include the homes of friends, parents, siblings, or homes.
- Always be careful when ending a relationship violently, even if it's just emotional violence in the relationship. You can get help developing a safety plan by calling Komnas Perempuan at (021) 390 3963 or the Police at 119.
- Get help from a friend or family member who can help you escape quickly. This person can help you pack things up, keep an eye on the kids, or act as an excuse for you to run away.
- Many homes allow you to bring children and pets.
Step 5. Disconnect contact
After successfully escaping from the relationship, don't allow your partner to re-enter your life in any way. He may persuade you, apologize, or say that things have changed. Remember that it's very likely that the abuse will happen again, even if your partner has told you that it won't happen again. Allow yourself to recover on your own, without a partner.
- Delete your partner's cell phone number and get rid of any relationship you have on social media. You might even want to change your cell phone number.
- Don't try to show your partner that you're better off without them. Let the recovery process happen privately, just for you.
Step 6. Take care of yourself
Remind yourself that the violence is not your fault. No one has the right to receive harsh treatment of any kind and nothing about your actions entitles you to be treated that way. Find a way to be happy. Write in a journal, go for walks, and do activities you find fun like hiking and drawing.
Step 7. Get expert help
Find a psychiatrist who can help you through this situation. A therapist can help you with the emotional side of running away as well as dealing with feelings of depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress, or anger. A therapist can help you work through the situation and get through the weight of your feelings.
