Do you want to flirt with a boy or girl on MSN, AIM, Facebook Chat, or any other instant messaging service without impressing yourself as a sycophant? By looking for the tips, you've already shown awareness beyond most of the flirty people online. Take a look at Step 1 below so you can flirt intelligently and respectfully with someone.
Step
Part 1 of 2: Things To Do
Step 1. Start the conversation casually
As in the real world, the first step when flirting with someone, put your doubts aside and get started! Text the other person to ask what happened today or ask a specific question about work or school, or simply say "Hi". The hardest part of flirting with someone the first time is breaking your reluctance. So if you find it difficult to get started, remember that however bad the outcome may be, it won't be worse than a real-world encounter.
- There's no need to be nervous when you're flirting with someone on IM - If the person you want to talk to doesn't want to talk to you, he or she always has the option of not replying to your messages and, from your point of view, you might just assume he's not in front of you. his computer.
- He said, if you "don't really know" someone, you have enough reason to start a conversation to break the ice. Asking for help with work and school-related issues makes a pretty good bet just as asking questions about something that clearly seems to have something to do with the person. For example, if the person uses a username associated with a certain band, you might say: “Wow, that's a cool name. You came when they last performed in your city?”
Step 2. Start small talk
After greeting and joking with each other, you can ask more questions about the person (as you might do in real life). For example, ask about his work or school, his interests, or his recent trip. Instead of asking, you can comment on these things. When he responds, leave your own comment or ask further questions and keep the conversation going! Do not enter and interfere in his personal affairs; keep the conversation light, fun and focus on things that don't cause anxiety.
- Small talk need not take long. A minute or two is enough to break the ice but too long will quickly turn boring.
- For example, once we've opened up by asking about the person's interest in a musical group as shown in their username, it makes sense to then ask what music they like and don't like. You can give your own opinion and suggestions. For example, you might say: “If you like them, try listening to a band called the Manic Albatross - they're like the Beatles, only darker. What other bands do you like?"
Step 3. Joke
Everyone likes people who are good at joking. Marilyn Monroe once said, “If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything” (don't worry for women, men are just the same!). Try being funny and even sarcastic when you respond to what the person you're talking to says.
- For example, when you're asked what you're doing, instead of saying, "looking for people to flirt with on Facebook," you might as well think about satire like "Write a great American novel" or "bury the pain." This answer will have the advantage of being a starting point for talking about your hobbies like writing as your side job and the Bourbon you've had.
- In the example conversation above, you can joke around while you have small talk about music. For example, you might say something like, “I wonder why every song on the radio today sounds like Texas Flynn. Does he also record songs when he's idle?"
Step 4. Flirt with jokes
When you've managed to establish a rapport with the person you're talking to, it's time to flirt with him. When you flirt with him, keep the atmosphere pleasant. As always, the more you get to know him, the more "effective" your flirting will be.
- Your temptations must remain appropriate. Of course you should avoid sensitive issues such as those related to someone's personal life, career, ambition and others.
- The difference between a flirty person and an annoying person is sometimes very thin. So, when in doubt, do so with caution. It's easy to think of another next step, but talking about getting things back on track after you've hurt her feelings is hard. In our example, you might be able to subtly tease your interlocutor about the band he likes by saying something like, “Oh really? ha ha ha ha." But if you say something like "They are nothing more than good-looking people, their fans are also the worst", you will actually hurt the feelings of the other person.
Step 5. Use facial emoticons
One of the benefits of using emoticons when flirting with someone via IM services as opposed to text-only channel services like email, is that you can convey the emotions behind your words clearly. When you're flirting, you should try flashing emoticons (;)) and emoticon with tongue sticking out (:p) which can be found in most IM services. Complete your flirting with these types of emoticons so that your point is clear but still appropriate and fun.
The thing to note is not to use emoticons too much. Use it sparingly in your conversations to make your flirting attacks a little sweeter and the meaning behind vague sentences a little clearer. If you use emoticons all the time, you'll end up looking childish or annoying
Step 6. If you get a good response, make the atmosphere even more excited
If your interlocutor seems to respond with a good sense of humor to your jokes and teasing, you may want to move into more intimate territory. Do it “carefully” - don't move from a light temptation to a serious temptation that starts to invite. Instead, convey subtle satire. Say it "implied", don't say it openly. This is called the “fine way” and it is a useful skill that many people want to master both online and in the real world.
- Try to keep delivering funny satire. It's always ridiculous when everyone flirts or seduces. Understanding this silliness really helps you to be more humble and not seem like a sycophant.
- For example in our sample conversation about our band, if your interlocutor says he or she thinks there is a song that sounds sexy, play that song and lighten the mood. Give a slightly exaggerated response back "That's polite!" or make emphasis by lengthening the words, "Oh beeeee, really?;)". ".
Step 7. If you get a bad response, back off
Flirting with people "everywhere" is definitely a risk of rejection. In a virtual world where communication is cost-free and impersonal, the possibility of rejection can be very real. If the person you're flirting with doesn't seem to be reciprocating, back off, it's not worth you to hang around and walk out of the conversation politely. For example, you might say you have something else to do (homework or work-related activities can be good reasons) or that you need to go to bed. You don't need to give an exact reason because what's important here is that you respect what the person you're flirting with wants and avoid getting into the trouble of embarrassing and pointless retaliation.
For example, in our sample conversation about our band, if you mention a certain song and your interlocutor says it's her boyfriend's favorite song, you can politely stop the conversation. You can do this by simply typing, “Hey I have to go. See you again!"
Step 8. Be the one to end the conversation
A good rule of thumb for flirting with someone in the virtual world "and" in the real world is to end the encounter and leave the person you're talking to who really wants to continue the conversation. In the world of IM flirting, that means you need to quickly send a goodbye message before the conversation starts to turn boring. This way, the person you meet on IM will have only positive and pleasant memories, not memories of feeling awkward when he or she struggled to find something to say as the conversation progressed.
If your interlocutor has responded well to your flirting so far, make your breakup look cool so that he or she will always remember you. Emoticons are very effective here. For example, when the message “Good night” seems casual and unimpressive, “Good night.:)” can create a subtle connotation that you will always remember them (and maybe vice versa)
Part 2 of 2: Things Not to Do
Step 1. Don't make fun of yourself too much
Showing confidence is sexy. While it's more common in the real world than online, self-confidence can also be effective when you're flirting on IM. For example, you may have to avoid jokes that put you down. "Just one" is enough. Don't let it repeat itself in your conversations. If you make fun of yourself a lot, conversations that are supposed to be teasing will quickly turn into conversations that present you as someone who seems self-loathing and needs help.
On the other hand, that doesn't mean you should make jokes that hurt "others," because if you do, you'll appear mean and petty. Any sharp remarks or insults that are inappropriate for yourself or others are not appropriate in a conversation aimed at teasing someone
Step 2. Don't be too sentimental
People love fun flirting. For most people, compliments are fun only up to a point. Praising more than once or twice actually makes people feel embarrassed and awkward. It will also make him start questioning your intentions so that the person starts to believe you are trying to get something from him. On the other hand, the seductive power of high-pitched and exaggerated compliments dissipates (at least that way) when compliments are delivered in the little box at the bottom of the screen next to a smiling cartoon face.
Instead of relying too much on compliments, focus on conversations that are fun but not made up. Follow the wisdom of "show, don't tell." That is, show that you are interested in this person by giving him or her a fun conversation, rather than directing it
Step 3. Don't be too sticky
Flirting with someone the first time via IM is proof enough that your relationship is very, very relaxed. Therefore, you "definitely" want to maintain a relaxed conversation. Don't turn it into love, a long term commitment, or anything like that when you're flirting with someone. Things like that can be a "serious" warning signal to the person you're talking to and can usually quickly derail your chances of dating them.
Step 4. Don't be too vulgar
Everyone has different attitudes about when it's appropriate to use foul language, disgusting humor, sex-related things, and so on. Respect this difference. In cyberspace, where bad language, violence, harsh humor, and sex are easy to find, it's easy to forget that many people don't like dealing with such disgusting things. So keep the conversation polite until you get to know this person better. At the very least, you should be careful when presenting yourself to others if he or she is not used to these kinds of things.
In general, don't be vulgar “until the other person starts it”. In other words, if you're flirting with someone, don't swear, tell dirty jokes or make obscene comments before they start
Tips
- Try to quickly review what you wrote to avoid spelling mistakes or typos. You definitely don't want the person to receive the wrong message.
- Always think twice about what you say and make sure you use emoticons to make sure your messages are received properly because other people can't hear your tone of voice nor can they see your face unless you use a webcam.
- Don't be too pushy if the person is busy or doesn't reply. You don't know what's going on.
- Don't reply right away or you'll look really desperate! Wait a minute or two and then talk. This way you also have time to think about what you are going to say.
- If you really like the person and the person is also showing interest in you, go ahead and leave subtle cues.
- When trying to flirt with someone on MSN or another messaging service, laugh lightly like "ha ha". The conversation will be fun and your interlocutor will think you enjoyed talking to him.
- Make sure the conversation isn't always about you or the person you're talking to.
- Don't laugh too much because it can scare your friends!
- If your interlocutor is typing slowly, type slowly to see how you react to everything you say. Is he shy or introverted? If it's closed, just give subtle cues. Do you know the person? If you know him, then flirting with him over the internet can be more difficult because you may be afraid of the consequences of your actions. If you run into a site like MySpace, be careful asking questions and see if nothing is fake.
- Be honest but don't make the atmosphere gloomy.
- Abnormal sexual behavior is not seductive. Of course, some advice on sexual matters is acceptable but being a really weird sexual person can be really annoying and make people feel awkward, especially if the person you're talking to doesn't agree with it.
- A hug is a very intimate way and is just as powerful as a kiss but not provocative so it's perfect when flirting with someone.
- Try not to make it too obvious that you're teasing them, as this can frighten them off a bit.
Warning
Try not to mention other people because it will make the other person feel a little hit
- As with doing anything else in cyberspace, this can be dangerous. Never give out your phone number or home address or any other identifying information to someone you don't trust!
- As with other flirting, don't get comfortable and start complaining a lot about your life. You may feel sad but don't show it clearly.
- Don't ask her out right away. This is not a good attitude. Don't tease someone for this reason. Do it if you like the person or want to send a signal.
- Don't complain about your life and stay positive.
- Don't leave offline messages too often because you'll look too desperate. Sometimes it's okay if you just want to let them know you weren't online that day or the message is too important and needs to be delivered that day.
