If you don't want to be disappointed, be a heartless person. Although the sentence sounds absurd, the fact is that many people choose to suppress their emotions and act "cold" in order to fortify themselves from unwanted negative feelings. Scientifically, all physically and emotionally healthy people must have feelings; This fact cannot be denied or changed. However, they do have the option of distancing themselves emotionally from the situations around them, preventing themselves from being too friendly, and putting their own interests ahead of others. Want to know more detailed information? Read on for this article!
Step
Method 1 of 3: Be Cool to Avoid Emotional Hurt
Step 1. Forget about past traumas and emotions that still haunt you
The term “emotional debt” is often used to describe past emotions that still haunt and affect your daily life to this day. Open yourself up to all the past emotions that are still weighing you down; Break the patterns you've been forming in response to these emotions, and step outside of your comfort zone. Doing so will make it easier for you to recognize past emotions and move on without them.
While staying in your comfort zone may seem to protect you from attacking negative feelings, actually staying there will actually make you lose to those emotions; in other words, these emotions will continue to overwhelm you, making it difficult for you to continue living well. Step outside your comfort zone; surely, you will be helped to control the various negative emotions and traumas that still haunt you
Step 2. Don't set specific expectations
Doing so saves you from emotional pain if those expectations are not met. If you are forced to set expectations, keep them to a minimum and don't make specific expectations.
Make expectations more realistic. For example, instead of making specific expectations like “it can't rain today and the weather should be around 27°C”, try making more general expectations like “I want the weather today to be warmer than yesterday's”
Step 3. Keep yourself busy
Keeping yourself busy is proven to increase one's satisfaction in life. However, make sure you only choose activities that are profitable and have the potential to help you achieve all your life goals. To increase your motivation, try rewarding your productivity and achievements!
You can also focus your mind more on work, exercise, or cleaning the house instead of seeking emotional outlets
Step 4. Control your relationships with other people
Don't let other people control you with apologies or false promises. Identify the type of relationship you want and make sure you only build relationships with people who can accommodate those desires. Be the only party that controls your involvement and engagement in a relationship!
Step 5. Follow the therapy process
If past trauma is still haunting you emotionally, you may need expert help to deal with it. Remember, emotional issues like depression or chronic anxiety are not something you should ignore! An experienced psychologist or counselor can help recommend clinical approaches or medications that can help with your recovery.
Method 2 of 3: Be Cool So As Not To Be Taken By Others
Step 1. Know what you want
Most likely, you already know what NO You want; the next step is to identify the things you like and conclude your desires based on the results of the identification. The clearer your desire, the more effective your efforts will be to achieve it.
- Believe me, someone who truly understands his wants and needs will be very difficult to be used by others. In fact, implementing this step is critical to ensuring your future success, as well as preventing others from draining your valuable time and energy on their behalf.
- Sometimes, stress and guilt can push you to do something against your will. To prevent this from happening, make sure you really know what you really want.
Step 2. Say your wish
Once you really know what you want, share that desire with the people around you. Be clear about what you really want and expect, and don't sacrifice your interests for the sake of other people's needs.
Chances are, you need to sacrifice some of your time and ability to get other people to do the things you want. However, make sure you make clear boundaries so that others don't turn to use those desires to take advantage of you
Step 3. Say “No” to anything that doesn't work for you
Don't waste valuable time doing things that don't make it easier for you to reach your life goals. Make sure you only engage in activities that support your personal goals; in other words, reject any requests that do not bring you significant benefits.
- In a straightforward manner, try saying, "Sorry, I can't (or won't) do that." If you want, you can also add an explanation like, "I don't have time to commit to that." (though you really don't have to!).
- You may find it difficult to resist if you are burdened with guilt. For example, you might have a hard time turning down a friend's request to be on a charity event, or turning down a family request to do something you really don't want to do. Learn to say "No" confidently and firmly!
Step 4. Consider the possibility of working with others
Often, humans have a hard time accepting the fact that they can benefit if they are willing to cooperate with others. In fact, this fact contains an undeniable truth; working with others turns out to be a healthier and more effective way to reach your goals! However, remember, make sure the relationship you are in can benefit both parties; in other words, neither party feels they are being taken advantage of.
Remember, every relationship goes both ways. In any relationship, ideally you will receive as much as you give. By applying these principles, you too can build quality professional and social relationships with others
Step 5. Think about other people's motives
When someone asks for your help, try to understand the reasons and motives behind it; Also understand why you are being asked for help. After that, determine whether you will benefit if you are willing to help him.
Method 3 of 3: Be Cool to Avoid Others
Step 1. Avoid small talk
In fact, the existence of technology is already helping you do it! For example, you can pretend to be on the phone or always wear earphones to prevent other people from talking to you. You can also block other people's attempts to engage you in conversation by saying something meaningful, "I'm too busy to talk to you."
If a coworker invites you to chat while you're waiting in line for food at the cafeteria, stop him or her gently by saying, “I'm sorry, I can't talk right now. There's more work, here."
Step 2. Turn down invitations or invitations to attend various social events
Express your refusal in a firm but not offensive manner to offend the person asking. Make sure you also confirm that the decision is final; if you give reasons that are less solid or unreasonable, chances are that you will still be forced to attend.
- The perfect excuse to easily avoid almost any activity is, “Sorry, I had other plans for the day.”.
- Remember, you are not required to provide an explanation when declining someone's invitation or solicitation. Supposedly, giving a short response like, "I'm sorry, I can't" will suffice.
Step 3. Reject other people's requests
For some people, refusing other people's requests is a taboo thing to do. In fact, you never have an obligation to help others, you know! If you really don't want to do it, say "No" confidently and confidently. But again, there's no need to be rude to make your point.
If a friend asks you to look after their house, simply say, "Sorry, I can't.". Remember, you are not required to provide an explanation; however, you can also do that if you want
Step 4. Build a new support system
If the problem lies with your closest relatives and friends, try finding a new support system instead of trying to stay away from everyone. Meet people who share your interests, such as those who work in similar fields, vacation in similar places, and/or like the same things as you.
Tips
- Take the opportunity that is available in front of your eyes without hesitation.
- Stop connecting with negative people.
- There's no need to feel guilty.
Warning
- Some people will have a hard time accepting your cold attitude.
- Be prepared to receive an equally cold response from others.
