Who is your secret admirer? It can be difficult to know who sent the secret gift or romantic message, especially if he doesn't want you to know. You need to use all the clues you can find. Pay close attention to any messages or gifts that are sent to you. Ask around to find out who likes you. Pay attention to the people in your life and keep your eyes open for possible admirers. Be careful and be patient. Your secret admirer may be embarrassed to speak one-on-one. Therefore, be tactful and respect the secret.
Step
Method 1 of 2: Using Hints
Step 1. Read their notes carefully
If you receive a physical note, such as a handwritten letter in a bookcase or a note left in a backpack, try looking for clues such as the location, time, handwriting and tone of writing. If an admirer approaches online via email or anonymous chat messages, pay attention to clues such as the screen name or email address, the tone and content of the letter and the time.
- If the note is handwritten, pay attention to the handwriting. Compare it to the handwriting of people you know. Think about your friends, your crush, or the person sitting next to you during English lessons.
- If you get an email or chat message from someone you don't know, pay attention to their email address or screen name. The person may not use a personal account to message you, but you may be able to find clues from the name they chose.
Step 2. Pay attention to every gift the secret admirer gives you
You might get a bouquet, a bag of your favorite candy, or a CD. You can use the clues on the gift to determine who gave it to you.
- If a secret admirer gives them a plate of fresh cookies, they may love to bake the cake. Think about the people you know, especially people who might like you and those who love to bake cookies.
- If a secret admirer gives them a recorded CD, they may have a strong interest in music. Think about the music fans in your life. Pay attention to people who are always humming or who always have a musical instrument in their ears. Think about the songs on the record: there may be a favorite song of your secret admirer on there, so you can tell by the person's musical taste.
- If a secret admirer gives you something you bought from a store, try asking the shopkeeper who bought the item.
Step 3. Think about when and where the admirer contacted you
Think about who can send the message when it is sent. Think about who has access to where you found the note or gift. Combine these circumstances together to give a clearer picture of how your admirer is acting.
- If your secret admirer left a note in the school bookcase, there's a good chance that he or she attends your school and has seen you using the cupboard. If a secret admirer left a gift at home, he may be really close to you or know someone else's home address.
- If you suspect that a certain person is your secret admirer, but that person wasn't in school the day you found the note, that person may not be your admirer. However, he might tell his friend to put down the note. The note may also have been placed a day or two before you found it.
Step 4. Respond and gather more information
If you receive an anonymous email or chat message, reply to the message and try to start a conversation. If someone left a handwritten note for you, try to leave the message in the same place so your admirer might find it.
- Get to know your admirers via chat messages or email. Ask questions. Ask admirers to reveal their true identities without coercion.
- Don't leave personal notes anywhere so everyone can find them. Not only does this reduce the chances for an admirer to find the note, but it can also allow others to find the note and use the information to annoy you.
Step 5. Notice the pattern
How do your admirers write? How does he usually contact you? Does it have any special quirks (example: accent, unique spelling, references) that could help you figure it out? Think about people you know who describe this behavior. Your admirer may not even notice that he is revealing himself using the words he normally uses in everyday conversation.
- Do your admirers often say certain words or phrases? For example, he may say "awesome" a lot in conversation, or he may use the word "completely" to emphasize emphasis in handwritten notes. Think about people you know who use the phrase often.
- Do secret admirers make spelling mistakes? If you can identify the error, do you know who likes to make spelling mistakes? For example, you might know a friend who always misspels the word definitely as definetely.
Method 2 of 2: Tracking Your Admirers
Step 1. Pay attention to your surroundings
Does anyone talk to you more than usual or stare at you coquettishly? Is there someone acting strange around you but they seem to be trying to hide it?
Try to see if someone is staring at you a lot. If so, pay more attention to them. Look them in the eye and give a shrewd smile. If the person shows other signs of interest, he or she may be an admirer of you
Step 2. Ask people around
Create a web of information to help you find a secret admirer more quickly. Ask your friends for help, then see if they can give you a clue. Even when they don't know who the secret admirer is, they may have heard gossip about you. Be wary of people telling you about the secret admirer as some friends may take the opportunity to share untrustworthy information, to gossip about your situation, or even to forge their own "secret admirer" records.
If someone leaves a message or post on the doorstep, ask neighbors if they saw the sender. If they see, ask the sender's physical appearance
Step 3. Try to confront your admirer
If you think you already know your secret admirer, it makes the most sense to ask. It's better to ask and be wrong if you don't ask and never know. Note that if a secret admirer keeps his identity a secret, he may be embarrassed to speak directly. Don't face it out loud and in public. Be gentle, wise and open.
- Look him in the eye when you ask. Watch for changes. Do you see the person's pupils shrink? Are there any signs of blushing, or is the admirer's head moving slightly back?
- If the person is constantly denying that they are not your secret admirer, then they may be telling the truth. Don't force them. Keep looking.
Step 4. Be tactful
You don't have to ask direct questions like "Do you like me?" Try something more subtle, like "I found these sweet notes in my bookcase this week, with a beautiful picture in them. Did you know this?" Try asking your suspected secret admirer one-on-one, so you can reveal that he or she is your secret admirer. If a secret admirer adds you on social media, ask him if he uses the site. If the secret admirer drew a picture for you, ask him if he likes to draw.
Step 5. Respect the confidentiality of your secret admirer
Understand why your secret admirer hides his identity. Your secret admirer may be hiding their identity because they are not free to admire you openly. They may be shy, they may have strict parents, or they may have other relationships that are not ready to be broken. It's okay to confront your admirers, but you don't have to put too much pressure on them. If you are patient, your admirer may reveal his identity to you.
Think about whether you really want to know. Deep down, maybe you want them to keep it a secret so they don't get into trouble. Sometimes, having a secret admirer can be reassuring
Step 6. Accept or reject your admirer
Once you find out your secret admirer, there may be some pressure. Your admirer has made his feelings clear, so it's time for you to show if you feel the same way. If you like your secret admirer, let him know. Try to invite them to play or wait for them to invite you to play. If you're not interested, you need to show your feelings clearly so the admirer knows it's time to back off.
If the secret admirer is not the person you expected, be nice and decline gently. They will admire your honesty even more. Be direct and don't beat around the bush. Don't play with their feelings
Step 7. Don't get too emotional
Maybe you will find a secret admirer, you will fall in love, and will live happily ever after. However, at this point you don't know anything about them. Your secret admirer may be someone you don't want to know. He may be your friend or relative who is joking! Do your best to find your secret admirer, but don't take it too seriously until you find out who it is.
- If you're patient, there's a good chance that the secret admirer will end his shyness and reveal himself. You may be a loved one, but that doesn't mean you have an obligation to find out about them.
- Try not to create fantasies in your head. Your secret admirer can be anyone. You don't want to hurt your feelings if he's not the person you were expecting.
Warning
- Be warned, they might just be joking to see your own reaction!
- The person you consider a secret admirer may not be your secret admirer.
- Let someone know if the secret admirer makes you uncomfortable with their flirting. Try telling friends, relatives and parents. If the problem becomes very serious, try talking to a teacher, counselor or the police.
