Distrust of someone can damage a relationship because it makes you feel anxious and wonder if he or she will always be loyal, honest, and sincere with you. Trust is one of the important aspects in a romantic relationship, business cooperation, or socializing. If you're having trouble trusting other people, learn how to work around it so you can build a lasting relationship.
Step
Part 1 of 2: Finding Out the Cause of Distrust
Step 1. Think about why you have a hard time trusting other people
Many people can't trust others because of bad things, feelings of disappointment in someone, or their upbringing as a child. You'll have a hard time trusting others if you've ever been let down, ignored, or rejected when you asked for help. On the other hand, it's easier for you to trust others if there are people who are willing to support you when you're having problems by offering advice and helping you deal with disappointments. Distrust can be caused by the following:
- You are generalizing by assuming that everyone is unreliable without checking first.
- You may feel the need to protect yourself by building a bulwark against being hurt, even before starting a relationship.
- You don't want to ask other people for help and prefer to work alone to make sure that everything goes well.
- You are less able to recognize the character of other people so often get stuck in a relationship with someone who is not worthy of trust.
- You seem weak so others often take advantage of your generosity or kindness.
Step 2. Think about what you expect from other people
Do you expect too much from others or are you demanding too much? The following behaviors are signs that you don't trust others:
- You expect other people to “understand” your wishes or “be able to read your mind.” This makes you distrust others because what you want hasn't been done yet, but you didn't say it.
- You expect others to give you the same as you give. In a relationship, don't give something while thinking about who does what. Trust will be lost if you give something to someone in return or expect something in return, but don't receive what you want in return.
- You don't expect anything from anyone because you have a hard time trusting other people.
- When you are in love or closeness with someone, you demand that they always be by your side. This makes him feel restrained and watched if you overdo it.
Part 2 of 2: Overcoming Distrust
Step 1. Decide whether you want to trust the other person or not
If you still don't want to trust other people, think about the consequences later on. You will be shunned so that suspicion and disappointment arise so that your life becomes more difficult. Is this the life you want? Certainly not. Think about the life goals you want to achieve and imagine those negative things being replaced by pleasant experiences because you want to trust other people.
Step 2. is to recognize someone's character, instead of suspecting him
Trust does not mean simply trusting others because conscience and proper analysis are important aspects of everyday life. If you often suspect someone, change that mindset by finding out in detail whether he or she is worth trusting or working with. Remember that being able to recognize other people's character is very useful so you can choose people who have good intentions and are kind to you.
Step 3. Give the other person some leeway
When it comes to relationships (romance, business, or social), no one wants to be watched over by people who always want to know what they're doing. Animals that feel threatened will struggle to defend themselves. You will face the same treatment from someone who feels followed, watched, and suspected. So, give him the freedom to respect his privacy so he can be honest and open up to you.
Don't be jealous of other people, leave comments in writing, or try to find out about their daily lives because sooner or later they will find out what you're doing. Besides making him feel scared and watched, he won't trust you anymore. Two people who suspect each other are incapable of a lasting relationship
Step 4. Deal with disappointment because of past events
Heartbreak, business failure, friendship breakup will dominate the mind, but these events are only part of your life experience. While negative things do happen, your life is determined by how you respond to them. Instead of continuing to regret bad events, find a lesson from the experience.
Realize that negative feelings will only get stronger if you keep thinking about bad experiences. What are the benefits? Most of the time, you think about it to make sure you're okay, not to accept reality. This behavior ultimately disappoints people who want to help and lead you to a better and more enjoyable life. Therefore, forget about bad experiences
Step 5. Learn the best way to be able to trust others
While there's no guarantee that other people will always respect the trust you place in them, make the decision to restore trust without thinking negatively, for example by:
- Realize that there are people who behave badly. So, look for good people who are worthy of trust.
- from experience. Think of a better way to be in a relationship. Find out what your role is that it's hard to trust others? Maybe you didn't pick up on cues or didn't have time to figure out things that could potentially cause problems.
- Forgive the person who betrayed you. Otherwise, you'll keep remembering it all the time so too much energy is wasted.
Step 6. Don't expect others to understand what you want
Other people don't know what you're thinking, unless you express it. Speak clearly, convey your wishes in an assertive manner, and state the things you think are important. You're being unfairly blaming someone else for feeling disappointed when you haven't made it clear what you want.
