Confessing depression to your parents is not as easy as turning the palm of your hand. What if they don't take it seriously? What if they actually give a negative stigma afterwards? If these worries rule your mind, try reading this article to find out some powerful tips for admitting depression to your parents. First of all, you need to understand the real situation you are in. Dig up as much information as possible about depression and the various symptoms that accompany it. After that, communicate the situation to your parents, and tell them what they can do to support your recovery process.
Step
Method 1 of 3: Understanding the Problem and How to Address It
Step 1. Understand the symptoms of depression
Before explaining your depression to your parents, understand what you are really going through. Try to get as much information about depression as you can from a trusted source such as The National Institute on Mental Health.
- Indeed, depressive disorders in adolescents and young adults can manifest in various forms. Chances are, you will feel indecisive, exhausted, angry, or overly sad. Alternatively, you will also experience academic difficulties due to reduced motivation to study, and have difficulty remembering and concentrating.
- Lately, you tend to withdraw from the people closest to you and be alone more often. In addition, you also have difficulty sleeping or actually have an excessive amount of sleep. You may also often try to numb your feelings with the help of drugs and alcohol, or engage in high-risk activities.
- Even if you're not sure that your disorder is depression, it's still a good idea to explain all the symptoms so you can receive the right help right away.
Step 2. Understand how difficult the conversation is
Most likely, you will feel very emotional when you have to admit to your parents with depression. In other words, you and/or your parents may cry in the situation. Don't worry, this situation is very natural because in truth, depression is a difficult topic and not easy to talk about. You've taken the right steps to bring him to the surface before the situation gets worse.
Chances are, your parents are already aware that something is wrong with you. They are simply unable to pinpoint the problem or think of a solution. By labeling your problem, it will actually help them to feel more relieved and think of the right solution
Step 3. Ask someone you trust for guidance
If you're really worried about your parents' reaction, try asking your school or university counselor, teacher, or other trusted adult for guidance. At least, you will know the right way to convey your depression to an adult.
- For example, you could say, "I'm sorry sir, I honestly feel depressed but don't know how to tell my parents."
- After that, the person is more likely to contact your parents and arrange a private meeting so you can share the information in a safe and comfortable environment.
Step 4. Decide who you should notify first
Think about whether you want to confess to one person or both parents at once. Do you feel closer to one of the parties, believe that one party will react more positively, or even feel that one party is responsible for your depression?
If so, try acknowledging the person you are more comfortable with. Most likely, after that the party will share your confession with the other party
Step 5. Write a letter if you have trouble communicating verbally
For some people, communicating feelings verbally is as difficult as moving mountains. If you have the same problem, try sharing your feelings with your parents through nonverbal forms of communication such as letters or text messages.
Make sure you keep your tone serious so your parents don't oversimplify the matter. Describe the symptoms you are experiencing, emphasize the effect the situation is having on your daily life, and ask their permission to see a doctor
Step 6. Practice your words
Remember, discussing a difficult topic is not as easy as turning the palm of your hand. Therefore, practice your confession in front of the mirror or in front of your closest friends. Make yourself more comfortable when you have to deal with real situations.
Consider writing down some important points that need to be conveyed on a piece of paper, and take it with you on the D-day. By doing so, you won't forget important things to say when you're feeling too emotional
Step 7. Anticipate questions that will appear
Be prepared to describe your feelings and symptoms of depression. Based on the results of your research, try to recommend ways they can help your recovery process. Chances are, your parents will ask a lot of questions afterwards. Therefore, you can think about the answer ahead of time, or make sure that you feel more comfortable talking to a mental health professional. The following are some examples of questions your parents might ask:
- Are you going to hurt yourself?
- How long have you felt that way?
- What happened to make you feel that way?
- What can we do to make you feel better?
- Be prepared to receive new questions once they have successfully processed your acknowledgment. Chances are, the topic of depression will come up again and again until they fully understand your situation. However, there is no need to worry because usually, the second, third, etc. will be much easier than the first talk.
Method 2 of 3: Communicating Depression to Parents
Step 1. Choose the right time
Make sure all parties are not busy or prone to distraction when discussing your situation. For example, you can chat with them while you are driving some distance away, after dinner, while you are helping them with household chores, or while you are taking an afternoon walk with them.
If your parents are very busy, ask when is a good time to chat with them. Try saying, “I have something important to talk about. I wonder when we can have a serious chat"
Step 2. Make parents aware of the seriousness of the situation
Sometimes, parents find it difficult to take their child's confession of depression seriously. Therefore, do your best to emphasize that this matter is very serious and must be addressed immediately.
- Emphasize the seriousness of the situation by saying, "I'm in a really big problem and need Mom and Dad's help," or "Please listen to me because honestly, telling this isn't easy for me."
- In some cases, the opportunity to speak in a serious tone will present itself. For example, it's possible that you suddenly burst into tears and let out all the heavy feelings at one point. Alternatively, academic activities really frustrate you and they ask you what the problem is.
Step 3. Convey your feelings with "I" words
Using "I" can help communicate how you feel without making your parents defensive or wary. If you say, “Your distrust makes me really sad”, chances are your parents will feel the need to defend themselves and it will be harder and harder to listen to your complaints afterwards. Therefore, try to focus more on the situation you are in and your personal feelings.
Saying "I" might sound like "I've been feeling tired and unhappy lately. It's really hard to get out of bed" or "I've been really grumpy lately. Honestly, I'm also angry and hate myself. sometimes I feel like I just want to die."
Step 4. Name your feelings
Once they know how you feel, don't be afraid to label them. Present all the results of your research, and point out various articles that you find relevant. If you'd like, also show the wikiHow articles on How to Cope With Depression and How to Know If You Have Depression.
- "I found several articles about depression. I think I experienced it too because the content is really relevant to my current situation."
- If they simplify your feelings by calling you "depressed" or "in a bad mood," confirm that your condition meets the clinical criteria for a depressive disorder.
Step 5. Say that you want to consult a doctor
Don't just bring up the topic of depression and hope your parents can come up with a solution. Make sure they know that the situation is a concern for you and that you need immediate medical attention.
- For example, you might say, "I think I need to check with Roger's doctor."
- Your doctor or medical professional can provide an official diagnosis of the disorder you are experiencing. In addition, seeing a doctor is also a common step that is reasonable for all people with depression. If you want, you can also ask your GP for more specific recommendations from a mental health professional.
- Ask your parents about a history of depression or psychiatric disorders in your family. Doing so can help them understand that right now, you are betting on a genetic health problem.
Step 6. Don't panic if your parents give you a negative response
Chances are, they won't give you the response you expect. For example, they will not believe your confession, blame themselves for your situation, get angry, or even feel afraid. Always remember that your depression is new to them. Therefore, give them as much time as possible to process the confession and get into your true feelings.
-
If they seem confused, try saying, “It took me a long time to understand depression too.” Remember, these situations happen through no fault of yours.
You've done the right thing, and this is the best way to explain the situation to your parents.
- If they don't take your confession seriously, don't stop sharing it with your parents (or other adults) until they decide to take concrete steps. Remember, depression is a serious disorder, regardless of whether or not the situation is legitimate in the eyes of your parents.
Method 3 of 3: Receive Support During Recovery
Step 1. Share your feelings with them
Talking about your depression isn't easy, but trust me, you'll feel much better afterward. Therefore, try to muster the courage to explain your health condition, especially when you are feeling really low self-esteem.
- Don't beat yourself up for feeling that way! Also, don't hide your situation because you don't want your parents to feel worried or stressed afterward.
- Don't expect them to "cure" you. In other words, position your parents as an outlet for your emotions and friends to tell stories so that you no longer feel alone.
- Trust me, your parents will feel more relieved if they know something is wrong with you, rather than just guessing. Be honest about your feelings; that's the only way they can help you.
Step 2. Make a list of activities that parents can do to help your recovery process
Help your parents by providing relevant information about effective ways to treat symptoms of depression. For example, depression can be reduced by taking prescribed medications, getting enough rest every night, eating a healthy and balanced diet, and maintaining physical activity every day. Ask your parents for help to make it happen.
Make a list of things parents can do to support your recovery process. For example, they can accompany you for an afternoon walk every day, invite you to play every night to relieve stress, monitor your medication consumption pattern, or make sure you get a good night's sleep
Step 3. If you want, ask your parents to accompany you to the doctor or therapist
One powerful way to involve your parents in your recovery process is to take them to a doctor or therapist. In this way, they will receive the latest information regarding your treatment process, and can ask various questions to the doctor or therapist who treats you. In addition, you will definitely feel more supported if your parents are escorted into the doctor's office, right?
You could say, "I would really appreciate it if Mom and Dad would come with me to the doctor tomorrow."
Step 4. Invite parents to join the relevant support group
Chances are, your doctor or therapist will ask you to join a support group that accommodates depressed teens and young adults. Joining a support group will not only help you to build relationships with people who have similar problems, but it will also help your parents to understand and deal with the situation better.
- Joining a support group will help your parents understand the different ways to support your recovery process. In addition, they will also be "forced" to mingle with parents and relatives of people with other depressive disorders.
- The America-based National Alliance for Mental Illness provides support groups for peers and family. Unfortunately, until now NAMI does not have a branch in Indonesia. However, you can always browse the internet for NGOs or health agencies that provide similar facilities.
Step 5. Ask a therapist for help
Have you found a suitable therapist but are having trouble getting help and support from your parents? If this is the case, try asking your parents for help from a therapist to explain your health situation and other relevant matters.
