Planning to have a party in the near future? If so, of course you want the party to be memorable and will always be remembered not only by all the guests present, but also for you as the host, right? Most likely, that reason will then limit your invite list. So, what if you accidentally send an invitation to someone whose presence is not expected? Pulling back an invitation that has already been sent is indeed a hassle, but with the right approach, the risk of conflict can be minimized so that the success of the party you organize can be guaranteed!
Step
Part 1 of 3: Withdrawing a Sent Invitation
Step 1. Communicate your decision personally
If you want to withdraw someone's invitation, it's best not to do it via text message or email. Remember, your decision is not pleasing to him, and dealing with it impersonally will only add to his hurt. Therefore, while text messages, email, and social media are the best facilitators of informal communication, it's still best to communicate your decision in person so that the results are more effective for both parties.
- Convey your cancellation of invitations via live chat. If that method is not possible (for example, if the person lives in another city), the next option is to communicate by telephone.
- Present your decision politely but firmly.
- For example, you might say, “I know you were invited to my party back then, but things are different now. I don't want to hurt your feelings or make you angry, but you shouldn't have to come, okay?"
Step 2. Don't delay the conversation
Even if the situation is difficult for you, putting it off will only prolong the stress you feel. Sooner or later, the conversation will still go on, and the sooner it's done, the more time you'll have left to plan a party without the stress and strain!
Putting off a conversation will only make you more tense by the day. The situation will be even more uncomfortable if the person has to sacrifice a lot of things to talk to you, like having to drive long distances or hiring a babysitter
Step 3. Prepare to have a one-on-one conversation with the person concerned
Think about the possible questions you need to answer, especially since chances are, he wants to know the reason behind canceling his invitation. Understand that these questions are very likely to start a deeper and more difficult conversation, such as bringing up issues related to their negative behavior that are preventing you from inviting them to the party. Most importantly, think carefully about the reasons behind canceling your invitation and the best method for conveying it to the person, if necessary.
Try writing down the things you want to tell the person and the reasons behind canceling the invitation. Consider the person's point of view and try to put yourself in their shoes. Even if it's difficult, be prepared to listen to his opinion politely and respectfully
Step 4. State the reason behind the cancellation of the invitation honestly and straightforwardly
Accepting the cancellation of the invitation is actually quite painful, especially if the reason behind it is conveyed dishonestly! If the person finds out the real reason not from your own mouth, new problems with a higher potential for harm can arise in the relationship between the two of you!
- Explain the reason behind the cancellation of the invitation honestly. If you didn't invite him because he recently broke up with a close friend of yours, or because the two of you are having an argument, feel free to share it.
- If you cancel the invitation but still want to be friends with him, don't forget to let him know that the cancellation is not personal. Also make it clear that you don't want to hurt him, regardless of your desire to stop him from coming.
- Imagine a moment when you had to retract a friend's invitation to your child's birthday party. If he asks the reason behind it, you can say, “You were drunk and rude on Jefri's birthday that time. Because of that, everyone present felt annoyed and uncomfortable. I want my son to be the center of attention at his birthday party. I also don't want her birthday party to be disturbed by unnecessary dramas, and now I'm still not sure if you can come without making another fuss." If you still want to be friends with him in the future, try offering to help him with his alcohol problem, or encouraging him to apologize to people who have been bothered by his behavior. Make it clear that you want to help her out, but for now your main focus is on making sure your child has a great time on their birthday.
Part 2 of 3: Canceling Invitations
Step 1. Cancel the invitation in the network silently
If your party invitation is shared through social media such as Facebook, you can actually cancel someone's invitation even though their name is already on the invited guests list. Don't worry, that person won't receive an invitation cancellation notification. Instead, he'll just stop receiving messages and notifications about your party. Also, your party won't appear in their account's “Upcoming Activity” list.
- Click the page with your party information.
- On the right side of the page, you should find a list of invited guests that have been grouped by categories “attend,” “maybe,” and “invited.”
- Scroll through the guest list and click the "X" next to the name of the person you didn't invite.
Step 2. Tell the reason behind your refusal to the person concerned
If someone is annoying but you accidentally invited to a party or accidentally heard about your party from someone else, it's a good idea to immediately approach that person and make it clear that you didn't mean to invite them. Also explain the reason behind it.
- If there's a person you don't expect to be around because they have a tendency to get drunk or hurt other people, communicate those concerns to them in a direct and clear manner.
- For example, you could say, "I'm so sorry, but I don't think you're coming to my party, are you. I feel like you have a tendency to (get drunk, say harsh words, etc.), and I don't want that to happen later."
- If you feel that the person can improve their behavior, there's nothing wrong with offering them a second chance. For example, you might say, "You can come if you promise not to _ at my party."
Step 3. Try making up excuses
Reluctant to mention the person's problematic behavior but still don't want to invite them to the party? Try making up excuses to keep him from coming to your party. However, always remember that awkwardness or discomfort is inevitable even if you don't give the real reason.
- Explain that the number of guests in attendance has exceeded the limit so you feel more comfortable meeting him alone, rather than hanging out at an overly crowded party.
- If you're not the only host, tell the person concerned that other party organizers, such as friends or spouses, have asked you to cancel some people's invitations. However, make sure your friends or partner have known and agreed to the plan, yes!
Step 4. Have a more exclusive party
Since it's much easier to not invite a lot of people than to watch out for one specific person, try changing the concept of a party to an event that only people of a certain gender or people who already have a partner can attend.
Step 5. Reschedule your party
The last resort you can use is to cancel the party. For example, you could make up an excuse for the reason for the cancellation, then invite people whose attendance you really expect to another party on a different date. Just make sure that the second invitation you send is more careful so that the same situation doesn't happen again.
Part 3 of 3: Dealing with Unwanted Guests
Step 1. Disallow invited guests to invite other people
If you're having a small party at home, chances are there will always be guests who invite friends or neighbors to your party. Even if it's not bad intentions, unfortunately these initiatives can violate your privacy or make the party's budget slightly bloated afterward. To avoid this incident, do not hesitate to emphasize to all invited guests that the event may only be attended by those who accept the invitation.
- No matter what method you use, whether it's a written invitation, an email invitation, or a word of mouth, don't forget to make sure that the party you're hosting is small and intimate.
- If you don't mind selecting additional guests to attend your party, ask the people you invite to ask your permission first before bringing in additional guests.
- If you don't want guests attending to invite other people, don't include the “plus one” option in the RSVP invitation that you send. Instead, make sure guests only have “yes” and “no” options to fill in.
Step 2. Be as polite as possible to all guests in attendance, including people you don't expect to be present
In fact, the best way to minimize potential problems at a party is to show a friendly and courteous attitude to all guests. Remember, even if his presence is not wanted, he is still your guest.
Treat others as you would like to be treated. In other words, always show a friendly and welcoming attitude even if you don't like the person or expect them to come
Step 3. Decide whether or not a confrontation is necessary
During the party, you may be tempted several times to address the guest directly. While nothing is stopping you from doing so, try first to assess the intensity of the harm caused to the person and how often you should interact with them in the future. If you only need to see her once a month or less often, don't bother confronting her behavior.
- Initiating a serious conversation is really a waste of time knowing that the other person won't be willing to listen to you.
- If the person isn't causing any specific problems, it's best to resist the urge to reprimand them, however, you can always accommodate one or two uninvited guests, as long as they blend well into the party.
- If that person's behavior also upsets many other guests, don't hesitate to rebuke them. However, make sure you do it in a private place instead of in public, OK!
Step 4. Talk to the person
If his behavior is really bothersome, feel free to rebuke him and/or explain his behavior that makes many people uncomfortable. Whatever you do, be careful in choosing your words to avoid new problems!
- Address the person's behavior instead of attacking them personally. In other words, communicate the things he should stop doing or change in a clear and concise manner.
- Better not to be confrontational. Remember, people prefer to receive questions and choices over orders.
- Say something like, “I want everyone to have a good time here. Unfortunately, your attitude is a bit disturbing their comfort and my comfort. You can stay here if you want to stop _, but if you don't, you'd better go home, okay?"
Step 5. Ask the person to leave the party location
If a guest is really bothering you, try to politely evict them. As difficult as it may be, it's the wisest course of action to directly express your objections and reasons, if you wish.
- Invite the person to have a one-on-one conversation with you. In other words, don't kick someone you don't want in front of your other guests!
- Say something like, “I'm really sorry, but I really don't feel comfortable with you around. Seems like it would be a lot better for everyone if you went home now, anyway."
- You may also explain the reason behind the request, if you feel comfortable doing so. But don't be too rude or aggressive, okay? Instead, be direct but polite.
Tips
- Make sure you're always calm and polite! Don't get angry or look frustrated at an invited guest under any circumstances.
- Don't upload photos taken at parties to your social media accounts, especially if people you didn't invite can see them! To avoid unwanted offence, ask other invited guests to do the same. At the very least, if you really want to upload multiple photos, have them create a custom album in private mode, and only open access to that album for a few people.
