Reverse psychology refers to trying to get someone to say or do something by telling them the opposite. This method works very well in advertising, and may be helpful when you are dealing with certain types of people. However, you must be very careful in choosing how and when to use it. Reverse psychology can be thought of as a form of manipulation. If it is done often, relationships with other people will be damaged. Use reverse psychology only occasionally, and not in serious situations.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Changing Someone's Mind with Reverse Psychology
Step 1. Start by making choices
Implant this choice in his brain. Maybe at first he will reject or mock the choice. However, you should make sure he knows what the options are.
- Let's say you're trying to decide between two parties to attend on Friday night. Your friend is a movie fanatic, he and his friends will watch movies together. You prefer board games, and there are some friends who will host games.
- Make him aware of the options you want. Say, "You know Manda and Ema are going to have a board game tonight? It seems boring."
Step 2. Use subtle ways to make the selection look attractive
Find ways to make your choices enjoyable. Give subtle hints that can arouse desire in his heart.
- In the example above, mention in passing what games will be played at the party. You can also play cards ahead of time so he can get a feel for the fun.
- You can also make the friends you want seem more attractive. Tell me about the interesting things that happened to you with Manda and Ema. Talk about their good qualities. For example, "Manda always has a good supply of drinks."
Step 3. Use nonverbal cues
For example, you can play a digital version of the game on your phone. You can also take Manda and Ema for coffee with your friends before the party to remind them that the two girls are so much fun.
Step 4. Don't support or oppose the option you want
Once he's interested, you have to stay a bit defiant. This will add the extra push needed to get him to do what you want. He might already be interested in this option. If you're against the choice, people who are naturally rebellious will probably want to do it.
- Back in the example above, wait until Friday. Say, "So we can go to Manda and Ema's place, or watch a movie. What do you think? I think Manda and Ema's show is a bit boring."
- At this point, he would probably propose to go to Manda and Ema's show. However, if he still has doubts, try to be more direct. Say, "We can go to Manda and Ema's next time."
Step 5. Encourage him to make a decision
To close the negotiation process, you can encourage him to make a decision. The idea was to make him think that the decision was his. Politely ask him what he wants to do, and wait. Hopefully, he will choose the option you want.
- In the example above, say, "So we can go to Manda and Ema's place, or watch a movie. What do you think? I'll follow your decision."
- By making him think that the decision is his, he will assume he has power. You've made Manda and Ema's show sound great. You've also been against it, which is usually what people with a tendency to fight against. If you're lucky, she'll pick the Manda and Ema show.
Part 2 of 3: Finding Effective Situations to Use Reverse Psychology
Step 1. Find out what personality types respond best to reverse psychology
Not everyone responds to reverse psychology. People who tend to be compliant are more likely to respond to direct requests. Reverse psychology will work if it is applied to people whose nature tends to resist.
- Think about your interactions with the person. Does he tend to go with the flow, or tend to be against? People who are more independent in their thinking and like to challenge the status quo may be more prone to reverse psychology than people who are generally submissive.
- This should also be considered if you plan to use reverse psychology on children. If your child tends to be stubborn, he or she will probably respond much more to reverse psychology than an obedient child.
Step 2. Try to use light reverse psychology, especially with children
Reverse psychology should only be used in light and casual situations, especially when used with young children. Try using it as a way to make him think he's smarter than you.
- For example, you try to get your son to make his bed every morning. Ask him to wait for you to finish brushing his teeth and explain that he is a child and needs a lot of help. As a result, when you walk into his room, he may be halfway through making his own bed because he wants to prove his independence.
- With adults, try using the same method. Let him think that he can handle the situation. For example, you and he are choosing between two films, namely foreign films with subtitles and light comedy. You really want to watch foreign movies. So say, "Actually my attention is a bit divided between watching and reading the text." At this point, maybe he's insistent on watching a foreign film to prove he's more capable of dividing his attention.
Step 3. Consider what he wants
Before using reverse psychology, think about what he is likely to want in this situation. Some cases require a more complicated version of reverse psychology. If a person's desire exceeds his tendency to resist, classic reverse psychology can be the master's weapon. For example, let's say your friend wants to go to a concert in an unsafe part of town alone. You might think that's a bad idea, but simple reverse psychology might not work. If you say, “Right. You have to go. You only live once!”, he might leave happily because he really wants to see the concert.
- In this case, try to argue with yourself, not the options. Returning to the example above, try saying, "I can't tell you to do something you don't want to do. I'm pretty sure it's a dangerous place, but only you can decide what's best for yourself."
- Here, you're encouraging him to think for himself. If he has a tendency to fight back, he's probably going to give in to your suggestions instead of thinking. Eventually, he might decide not to go to the concert.
Step 4. Think about the end goal
Make sure you consider the end goal. Remember what you want. Sometimes there will be debate over the use of reverse psychology. During the debate, you may forget your original purpose. Try not to stray from the path and remember the outcome you want.
Part 3 of 3: Avoiding Harmful Reverse Psychology
Step 1. Don't overuse reverse psychology
Reverse psychology will be very useful in certain situations. However, remember that this method is a form of subtle manipulation. The habit of using reverse psychology can actually damage relationships.
- Use in low-risk situations. For example, when you and your partner decide which movie to watch. However, don't use it every time you're going to watch a movie because you also have to let your partner occasionally choose what he or she wants.
- Small situations like this will eventually get bigger and lead to bitterness in the relationship. For example, your partner may get irritated at never being able to choose what he wants and start feeling angry at you.
Step 2. Use reverse psychology calmly
You may be frustrated, especially if you apply it to children. Stubborn children, and humans in general, may need some time to follow your way of thinking. So you have to stay calm and patient.
If your child throws a tantrum or cries when you use reverse psychology on them, stay calm. Let him express his frustration. With patience, he will calm down and be nice
Step 3. Avoid reverse psychology in serious situations
There are certain situations that tend to be self-defeating if faced with reverse psychology, and lead to serious consequences. You should avoid reverse psychology when what is at stake is the health and safety of others.
- For example, your friend is very afraid of doctors. However, there was a malignant-looking mole on his shoulder, and he refused to be examined.
- Don't say, "You're right. Don't go to the doctor." His fear of the doctor may far outweigh his desire to oppose, and you may end up supporting his dangerous choice.
Warning
- Sometimes, especially with intelligent and stubborn people, the subtle reverse psychology becomes the master's weapon because he knows your real intentions. Be careful choosing people because the situation could be worse!
- This is not a healthy way to communicate because you are essentially capitalizing on (and encouraging) people's tendencies to resist. Children tend to forget easily, but most adults will recognize their stupidity and will respond more to healthier communication.
