Disappearing seems like a good idea if you need to escape or want to be alone. Running is not the solution, and most problems can be solved with the help of others. Instead of disappearing completely, consider taking a break and taking a break from everything by making simple changes. Plan what you're going to do, erase the trail, then change the way you live. Even if you intend to come back again, this change can serve as a fresh start.
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Part 1 of 3: Making Safe and Responsible Decisions
Step 1. Find a way to solve the problem without disappearing completely
There are many good reasons to disappear, but also many reasons that can be solved without drastic action. Talk to people you trust, such as friends and family. You can also seek out a professional therapist to discuss options. In addition, ask the authorities or community groups for help.
- For example, if you are sad or feeling down, a therapist can help. Try to "disappear" only partially, by changing your routine and choosing different clothes and make-up.
- If you experience domestic violence, call the police on 110. If you are a woman or with children, call the Ministry of Women's Empowerment & Child Protection on 0821-2575-1234.
Step 2. Hang in there if you are a minor so the problem doesn't get worse
The disappearance of children or minors is usually sought by mobilizing various parties. Most likely, you will also find it difficult to make money and get various needs. Being alone out there must be hard, lonely, and dangerous. Once it has been declared a legal adult, which is 18 years, then the opportunity will be more open.
- It is not easy for people who are not old enough to travel alone. If found, you will be taken home. Look for other ways to make life at home more comfortable, unless the conditions are very bad or dangerous.
- Even if you don't think your friends and family will miss you, it's best to find a safer way to turn the situation around than to just disappear. There are many sources of help that can assist you in resolving issues until you are ready to go.
Step 3. Choose a responsible way of going if you are an adult
Adults are choosing more options to leave home and start a new life or work elsewhere. The biggest problem is just leaving hurt and sadness to the people closest to you because you left suddenly. Make them understand that you just left or “disappeared” by moving, not running.
- There are legal issues to consider. For example, if a search team is set up to find you, you may have to pay the search fee.
- Adults have the right to leave the house if they wish. The exception is when you want to avoid a legal obligation such as having to appear in court.
- If you are being molested, blackmailed, or stalked, call the police. There are legal ways to change identities and maintain safety in these situations.
Step 4. Go out on your own to reduce the risk of being discovered
The chances of being found are greater when you go out with other people. The search team formed may be more than one, and the traces left are even more. Depending on who is with you, the difficulty may be greater than going alone. Whoever you go with, use a lot of fake names and identities to avoid being recognized.
For example, disappearing with a small child could be accused of kidnapping or endangering the child. Even if your intentions are good, it's best to just stay in place
Step 5. Just take a break if you need a break
Instead of leaving everything behind, you can go away for a while. Try something new with a new identity. Sometimes, going elsewhere without changing identities is helpful. The slightest change, such as a change of mood or routine, can make you think twice about disappearing.
- If you disappear, the family will be very sad and restless. Instead of leaving them for no reason, tell them where you're going and when you're going home.
- Try camping, going to a new city, or doing other activities. Don't just run away, unless you know your trip is safe. Even if you have to leave, seek help from the police or charitable organizations if necessary.
Part 2 of 3: Covering the Trail
Step 1. Get rid of items that cannot be carried
Because you want a fresh start, you don't need a lot of stuff that can be a burden. You won't be able to carry it either. Make a list of some things that you really need to bring with you. The results are definitely not much, and items that are not needed can be sold.
- Leave items that can identify you, such as photos. If you bring a keepsake, keep it tightly hidden so no one can use it to identify you.
- Consider getting rid of private vehicles if you have one. Cars can take you away from the old life, but they are identifiable. Vehicles can be sold, donated, or abandoned if they can't be used where you're going.
Step 2. Log out of all social media accounts
If necessary, delete all content in the account, then deactivate it. When you update your status or tweet about lunch, you're leaving a mark. By deleting your account, you can avoid the temptation to be active again online.
- These days, deleting an account takes preparation and can be very difficult at times. Leave your cell phone and computer at home as they are very easy to track.
- If you're stressed out by online information, photos, or online harassment, try disappearing from cyberspace instead. Reduce the use of the internet and social media little by little. This can make you feel better without having to give up everything.
Step 3. Clear search information on computer and mobile
Computers store everything from internet searches to downloaded files. There's a lot of important information there, which could blow your plans away. For privacy, delete the relevant files from the device. Also, use the “clear history” button on the browser taskbar to clear data.
- Find any files you want to hide, such as in the “Downloads” folder. Even if it's password protected, your device is still not safe from people who might be curious.
- Be careful when using public computers, such as library computers. Nothing is private, and you can't log into a private account without risking being caught.
Step 4. Find a new name and compose a background story
Use a new persona when you disappear so no one will know. Try to make up a story and a name that is different from your real identity, but doesn't stand out too much. Coral carefully with all the details, don't rush. If there was a loophole, people might start to get suspicious.
- Usually, the easiest way is to choose another name. These changes are not legal, unless you change them in court. Remember that with technology, it is impossible to completely hide the past.
- For example, tell people that your name is Doni and you are in Kalimantan for school or on vacation. If you say there as an architect, people will probably ask. So, the storyline is sketchy and consistent.
Step 5. Discard credit cards and anything bearing your name
Throw away all the cards because that's the easiest way to track you down. Close the credit card so you won't be tempted to use it, then throw it away. You can't use it anymore. Even a membership card at your favorite store can lead people to know the places you've been to.
Get rid of anything you no longer need. Sometimes, getting rid of redundant things is enough to create a new atmosphere. If you really want to hide, leave anything that says your name
Part 3 of 3: Going to a New Place
Step 1. Withdraw money little by little from the bank account
You need money if you want to travel in peace. Withdrawing large amounts of money will raise suspicion. So, do not immediately empty the savings. Take it little by little until you collect the amount you need. If possible, empty and close the account so you don't have to think about it again.
- Carrying a lot of money is quite dangerous. So, stay safe. Bring the amount to be used and store the rest in a safe place.
- Start with small amounts. For example, buy a bus ticket and start a new life elsewhere.
Step 2. Pack clothes and other items you will need during the trip
What you need depends on where you are going. At the very least, bring a change of clothes, snacks, and other basic necessities. Keep in mind that you can't take much with you when you disappear so you'll have to limit your options.
- Find ways to care for and take care of yourself. In addition to bringing money, plan what you will do once you get to your destination.
- If you want to travel, what you need to bring is a large backpack, warm clothes, rain coat, sturdy shoes, tent, sleeping bag, map, compass, penknife, and a first aid kit.
Step 3. Select the destination
Think about how long you will be away and what you will do. Find a place that fits your budget. While you can go anywhere, travel takes time, money, and planning. If you want to go abroad, prepare a passport.
- If you plan to go abroad, look for information about visas and other regulations. Some countries are open to welcoming immigrants and even people wishing to settle down. Other countries, such as China, are much more stringent in restricting entry.
- If you stay in the country, consider the possibility of being found. Camping in the woods is great for getting away on the weekends, but if you want a fresh start, you can move to another city. Avoid vacation destinations that you frequent.
Step 4. Purchase all required tickets
Which ticket is required depends on the destination. If you stay in the country, consider the bus or train. You can also use a bicycle or motorbike to travel anonymously. The means of transportation will reduce travel time, but increase the likelihood of being found.
- You don't need to show ID to get on the bus or train, unless it's long distance.
- Planes and ships don't, unless you want people to know. Airports and ports are guarded by a government security system and you must present a valid ID.
Step 5. Compose a backup story about your goals
If you don't want to leave in the middle of the night, find a way to explain your departure. Unfortunately, you have to cover up the truth a bit. For example, say that you want to get out of town or go to your favorite store in a faraway part of town. As long as your story is believable, no one knows where you're going.
- A good story lets you go in peace for a few days. You can also say you have to go on business or want to take a vacation without distractions. Use a story like that to disappear for a few days without anyone knowing.
- Create a fake trail so no one can track you. For example, buy a ticket to Singapore without actually going there. Associate yourself with a company that is foreign to the ears of those closest to you.
Step 6. Find a job to make ends meet in the new place
If you don't plan to go home soon, you need money. Without a job, you will be stuck on the road and stuck in a situation worse than the life you left behind. Some of the places that usually need workers are retail stores, restaurants, and households. Remember that most workplaces require you to submit an application with personal information, and that's a problem if you want to hide your identity. There are some places that will hire people without a detailed description, but it is suspect and you could end up losing out.
- At the very least, you will be asked to submit an ID card. There is no legal way to get a new identity card. You can say different names in everyday life, but you can't tell the same lies if you want to work.
- It is easier for adults to find work because many places are prohibited by law from employing children. Don't try it if you can avoid it. If you don't have a plan, check if there is assistance from community services.
- If you don't have a computer, use the library's free computer to search for vacancies and apply for jobs. You can also apply directly to the intended workplace.
Step 7. Change the appearance to create a new persona
If you don't create a new persona, you may end up repeating the same lifestyle as the life you wanted to leave. Try something new to change your routine. Take this opportunity to try new things, such as changing your hair or other types of clothing. Sometimes, small changes can feel like a new beginning.
- For example, if you normally wear jeans and a T-shirt, try another variation. You can dress like a nerd, hippy, metal boy, or someone else's style. Consider the budget when creating this new identity.
- Choose a completely different hairstyle. If you're used to having long hair, cut it off and consider dyeing it. Seek advice from a hair stylist.
- Hats, hoods, and sunglasses are great for hiding in a crowd. Consider buying several to make it look different even if you don't use it often.
Step 8. Create new habits that go against the old identity
If you're changing yourself completely, try some new habits too. Join a group or other activity, or attend a religious event you've never been to. You can also lift weights to change your physique, grow your beard, get tattoos, or join an unfamiliar music community. There are many opportunities in this world. So, take advantage of every opportunity to start a new life.
- For example, if you usually stay at home playing video games, now go out more often. Clear the trail by playing sports and camping.
- Choose other foods to maintain a new identity. If you are used to eating at your favorite place, change that habit. Go to another restaurant or buy groceries at a nearby store.
- Humans can be recognized by body movements. If you normally walk fast, now try slowing down. Even this small change is quite refreshing.
Tips
- Select the disappear option as the last step. Disappearing should only be considered when you are sure there is no other option.
- If you are suicidal, remember that there is another way out. Call 119 for emergency assistance or 110 for police assistance. You can also contact the Ministry of Health at 1500-567.
- Check inventory regularly. Make sure you have enough food and drink.
- Find a place that allows you to mingle. If the language is different, you will stand out, but it can be a bold opportunity to learn something new.
- If you're wandering around, an option to try is to go out into the open. You can go to a camping site or stop at the edge of the forest.
- The best way to start a new life is to find a job and live in a place away from home. While you can't get rid of your identity, at least there's a chance to start all over again.
Warning
- There are legal consequences for disappearing without notice. You can also hurt the feelings of friends and family.
- If you go without a plan, there's a good chance you're living on the road. Try to find a place to live and a well-paying job before leaving.
- Traveling alone can be dangerous. So, pay attention to safety. For example, don't carry a lot of money or live in an area that makes you feel insecure.
