Creating a completely "new" you can be very challenging, but if you feel like you're not reaching your potential and think your life is currently on the wrong track, some drastic positive changes could be the best thing for you. Transforming yourself completely requires honest reflection of your ideal self and your current weaknesses. Set short and long term goals to achieve your ideal self-image, then look for role models to help guide you and evaluate your goals regularly to stay on track.
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Part 1 of 4: Understanding Change
Step 1. Understand if this is what you want
It's easy, ask yourself, "Do I want to make this change?" To make drastic changes, you need to make sure you really want them. Think about every aspect of your life and whether you are willing to change it.
- Evaluate the direction of your life.
- Understand that your life activities may have to change.
- Be realistic about what it takes to get the consequences you want.
- If you're not entirely sure you want to change any of this, you're setting yourself up for failure.
Step 2. Find out if this is possible
Now that you know you want to change, then you need to find out if you can change. Sit back and see if you have everything you need to make a serious life change.
- You need the ability to change.
- You need tools to change.
- You need time to change.
- You need the right support to change.
Step 3. Be honest with yourself
You may consider being honest with yourself about your characteristics. If you describe someone who is completely different from who you believe you are, you will never understand your own path.
- Ask your friends what they think of you. If it doesn't fit your own perspective, you're not being honest.
- Evaluate the choices you make throughout the day and why you do them. When you do this, you will see that the reason behind your choice is what brought you to the situation you are in. To change yourself completely, you have to make choices behind new reasons.
- For example, when you choose to stay home instead of seeing friends, evaluate why you chose this and why it is about you.
Step 4. Write down the results
Make an end goal for this process and write it down. Make it a measurable goal. The goal can have several parts or be a big picture goal. Either way, put a goal note somewhere you can see it every day to keep you motivated.
Part 2 of 4: Looking for Role Models
Step 1. Learn from the best people
A role model can be anyone: a younger person, an older person, a friend, relative, a stranger, or a celebrity. Find someone who represents the person you want to be. Maybe people who dress the way you want and people who act the way you want them to. You can use each person's parts for inspiration.
- If the role model is someone you know, arrange a meeting to find out more about them. Find out how he does what he does.
- If the role model is someone you don't know, do some research. Find out all about him and see what you can do to emulate his characteristics in your everyday life.
Step 2. Hang out with the right people
Being around positive people is even better than finding role models. When you sit across from someone, you have more ability to imitate the way they act. Look for people who have the same goals as you or people who have already achieved their goals, and spend time with them.
- For example, if you want to be a more open person, stay close to open people. If you want to be more financially successful, spend time with people who are financially successful.
- Avoid people who will negatively affect your change. If you're trying to live a healthier lifestyle, it's very difficult to be around someone who leads a sedentary lifestyle and eats fast food at every meal.
Step 3. Find a responsible partner
A responsible partner is someone who keeps you on the right path. Instead, you can help him get on the right path. This partner should be someone you get in touch with whenever you run into trouble. In addition you should arrange weekly meetings with the person (by phone or in person) to discuss your progress.
It's a good idea to make your role model a responsible partner. The role model will know what it takes to get what you want and he or she can help you to be better than anyone else
Part 3 of 4: Making Goals Real
Step 1. Set daily/weekly goals
You have a "big goal", now you need to create a smaller goal. Every goal you set should be a step towards a result. These goals must also be tangible or measurable. Make responsible partners aware of these goals.
- Becoming a “better person” is not a real goal. Change it to “Do two nice things for strangers every day”.
- Don't set goals by saying, "Exercise more often." Set a real goal by saying, “Exercise 4 times a week”.
Step 2. Adjust the goal
If you're having trouble reaching a goal, don't hesitate to change it. Don't use this as an excuse to avoid it, but you need realistic goals, otherwise you will be disappointed and never achieve change. If you ever fail to reach a goal, don't automatically adjust it. Sit down with the partner in charge and talk about if you are really trying everything you can to achieve the goal. If you've already done it and still haven't achieved it, set a new goal together.
For example, if you're trying to start studying more and you set a goal to study 6 hours a day, you may find it difficult to do so because of school or work schedules. Turn the goal into 4 hours a day and work towards achieving it
Step 3. Accept success and keep moving forward
Take a moment to be aware of every little success you've had. Each time you reach your goal, you get closer and closer to success. This is a big thing that is about to happen. However, don't be complacent when this happens. Take the time to appreciate it and keep moving toward the next goal.
Part 4 of 4: Evaluating Change
Step 1. Recognize when you achieve success
When it has really changed, you may not notice it at first. But if you take the time to sit down and look at the end goals you wrote down when you decided to change, you might be surprised. All the small changes have become a part of you and you have completely changed yourself.
Step 2. Create a new goal
Don't stop here. Use this success as motivation to push yourself to be a better version of who you are today. Just like you did before, make big goals and then break them down into daily or weekly goals. You've likely become a goal-oriented person through this change, so move on.
For example, if your goal is to change your perspective, make it a goal to stay focused on this. Tell yourself to go shopping once a season and buy two new clothing brands
Step 3. Keep in touch with responsible partners
This will prevent you from backing down. Continue to share all the small and new goals with your partners.
