Reflecting is a way of realizing the positive and negative sides of a person. Reflection is done by contemplating the present, observing what you are feeling and thinking right now here. Reflecting also means reflecting on the thoughts, emotions, and feelings of others. Reflection can help you make positive changes in your daily life by observing and evaluating your past decisions. Maybe you need to let someone go and eliminate or maintain a certain mindset. Learn how to do reflection to reflect on your life, your experiences, and the lives of others to develop yourself and make wise decisions.
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Part 1 of 3: Learning How to Reflect
Step 1. Take time to reflect
If you've been having trouble finding a balance between work and personal life, it's likely that you need to set aside some time for reflection. Although reflection can be done anytime anywhere, many mental health experts recommend that reflection be done in between daily tasks or on the go if your schedule is very busy. Even if it's only for a short time, take advantage of your free time to reflect.
- Do reflections in bed, when you wake up in the morning after the alarm stops ringing or while lying down before you fall asleep at night. You can use this precious time to prepare (in the morning) or reflect on your activities throughout the day (in the evening).
- Do reflection while bathing under the shower. The most ideal time for reflection is in the shower because right now, you have time to be alone. For many people, bathing in the shower also provides emotional calm so that it is easier for them to reflect on events and memories that caused them to feel disappointed or unpleasant.
- Make the most of your time on the trip. If you're driving and stuck in traffic, turn off the radio for a few minutes to reflect on the things that make you confused or anxious. If you take public transportation, save your book or cell phone first to reflect on the tasks you have to complete today or the activities you have done since the morning.
Step 2. Find silence
In order to reflect well, you need to be in a quiet and aloof environment, if possible. Sit in a comfortable position and breathe regularly while relaxing and eliminating distractions around you. Maybe you just need to turn off the TV or escape the noise or crowds. In any situation, take time to calm down and be alone, even if you can only be alone mentally, not physically.
Research shows that silence has a positive impact on health and energy levels, increasing productivity
Step 3. Reflect on yourself and your experiences
When you're in silence, your mind usually begins to worry about work or changes that need to be made. This thought is not a bad thing because it can be very helpful when you do reflection in the morning or evening. However, you should try to control your thoughts if you want to reflect on your own life by asking the following questions:
- Who are you and what is your personality like?
- What do you learn about yourself from your everyday experiences?
- Have you challenged yourself to grow by questioning your thoughts, beliefs, and ideas about your life?
Part 2 of 3: Improving Life by Reflecting
Step 1. Know your core values
Core values are the values and beliefs that shape every aspect of your life. Reflecting on the value of your beliefs allows you to know yourself better and understand your purpose in life. The easiest way to know and evaluate the value of virtue is to reflect and answer the question, “What is the most important trait/character that I have?” The answers to these questions can help you overcome issues of self-esteem or self-doubt so that you understand what motivates you.
- If you are having trouble determining the most basic value of virtue, think about what those closest to you (children, parents, or spouse) would say about you to others in a few words? Will they say that you are generous? Selfish? Honest? In this case, generosity, selfishness, and honesty may be your main values.
- Test whether you stick to your virtues in the face of adversity. Maintaining the value of virtue means staying true to yourself and holding on to the virtues that you believe in.
Step 2. Do a goal evaluation
Although reflection is still rarely used to determine goals, research has proven that reflection is an important aspect in achieving goals. We tend to be easily carried away by busyness and daily routines so that we don't have time to evaluate the efforts we make to achieve goals. However, this makes many people fail or give up halfway.
- Reflection is an important aspect of achieving goals because many people are motivated after realizing that their goals cannot be achieved. Instead of being apathetic after realizing this, change the way you deal with failure. Cultivate the spirit from within yourself to prove that you are capable of achieving your goals and don't give up.
- Review your goals if they are difficult to achieve. The study suggests a goal setting method with the "SMART" criteria, which stands for: specific (specific), measurable (measured), achievable (can be achieved), results-focused (directed on results), and time-bound (having a deadline). Make sure you set goals by including aspects of reflection and self-evaluation.
Step 3. Change your mindset
Reflecting can help you change your mindset and how you respond to situations. Many people go through life under automatic control, the habits we use to deal with people, places, and everyday situations. We tend to be easily carried away by harmful or even destructive patterns of behavior if we don't reflect and don't evaluate how we respond to external influences. Reflection enables you to be aware of the current situation and change your perspective so that your life is more positive and in control.
- Feeling positive when faced with stressful or difficult situations is not easy. However, adversity often brings us good.
- Instead of feeling anxious or disappointed because of a difficult situation to control, such as having to undergo dental treatment, change your perception of this situation by reflecting on the positive changes that will occur with the treatment. The process that you will experience is only temporary and after that, you can smile again because you are free from suffering and medical bills.
Part 3 of 3: Reflecting on Your Daily
Step 1. Reflect on your experience
It may not be easy to find meaning in the many things you have experienced so far. However, reflecting on what you have just experienced each day makes it easier for you to understand your experiences and how to respond to them.
- Think about your response to each incident that happened to you. How did you feel afterwards? Did this experience live up to your anticipation? What's the reason?
- What did you learn from this experience? What lessons can you learn from this experience so that you are better able to understand yourself, others, and everyday life?
- Did this experience affect your thoughts or feelings? Why and in what way?
- What did you learn about yourself from this experience and from the way you responded to it?
Step 2. Evaluate your relationships with other people
Many people no longer question why they are friends with certain people or what the meaning of their friendship/relationship is. However, once in a while, you need to reflect by evaluating your relationships with other people. Research shows that reflecting on a relationship that has ended allows you to overcome loss and learn from mistakes.
- Observe how other people affect how you feel, including people you never contact again for some reason. Write down your observations in a journal or diary so you can understand and draw lessons that are useful for building relationships in the future.
- When reflecting on your relationship, make sure that you are in a healthy relationship with a friend or partner. For example, ask yourself if you trust your partner, understand each other, respect each other in speech and behavior, and are willing to find common ground if you disagree.
Step 3. Use reflection to avoid arguments
When spending time with a partner, friend, or family member, sometimes there are fights over certain things. Quarrels usually occur because two or more people let their emotions control the conversation. However, you can defuse the argument or prevent it by calming yourself down and reflecting before speaking. If you feel like an argument is about to break out, take the time to ask yourself the following questions:
- How did you feel at that time and what do you want?
- If you were to express your feelings and desires, what response would you get from the person you are dealing with?
- What does he need right now and does that need affect his ability to understand what you want?
- What impression did your words and actions look like to this person and the third person watching you communicate?
- How do you resolve conflicts that have occurred by making mutual agreements? What did you say or do at that time to resolve the conflict so that all parties feel happy and accepted?
- What agreements are best for resolving conflicts and what should be said/done to reach those agreements?
Tips
- Focus on the sensory sensations and emotions you are feeling.
- The more often you reflect, the better the results.
- If you tend to think negatively, try to be a more positive person.
Warning
- It's a good idea to stay in a safe environment (such as in a therapist's or psychologist's clinic) when recalling negative and/or unpleasant experiences.
- If harmful thoughts occur while reflecting, share them with a friend or join therapy. To get rid of harmful thoughts and feelings, share those thoughts with someone who can help and work on them.
