Raising a teenager is difficult, especially if he has Attention Deficit/Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD). Adolescents with ADHD have difficulty learning and following instructions. Simple tasks for his friends may seem very difficult. Always remember that he is not really trying to make life difficult. It's just that ordinary challenges for others may seem very complicated for people with ADHD to carry out. However, with love and knowledge, you can help a teenager deal with ADHD. Your efforts can help him overcome life's challenges and make it through adversity.
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Part 1 of 5: Recognizing ADHD
Step 1. Look for signs of trouble paying attention
There are two components of ADHD. Children under the age of 17 must exhibit at least six of the following signs to be considered ADHD. The first set of symptoms indicates an inability to pay attention or focus. Here are some symptoms of ADHD that you should be aware of:
- children make fatal mistakes and don't pay attention to detail
- child has difficulty paying attention (tasks and play)
- child doesn't seem to pay attention when someone talks to him
- the child does not follow up on work/tasks at home and office; easy to get distracted
- children have difficulty organizing
- the child avoids tasks that require prolonged focus (e.g. schoolwork)
- the child cannot remember objects or often loses them, for example losing keys, glasses, paper, tools, etc.
- easily distracted child
- forgetful child
Step 2. Look for signs of hyperactivity
Another category of symptoms associated with ADHD suggests a tendency to hyperactivity or lack of control over stimuli. People with ADHD should display six or more of the following symptoms:
- clumsy and looking anxious; tapping hands or feet
- often run or climb certain places incorrectly, or feel unable to calm down
- difficulty playing or doing quiet activities
- “very excited” as if “driven by a machine”
- talk too much
- give an answer before accepting a question
- trying to wait their turn before acting
- interrupting others, joining suddenly in discussions/games
Step 3. Learn the causes of ADHD
The brains of people with ADHD are slightly different from the brains of other people. Specifically, the two structures tend to be smaller: the basal ganglia and the prefrontal cortex.
- Basal ganglia regulate muscle movement. This section determines which muscles should move and which should rest in certain activities.
- If a child is sitting at his desk in a classroom, the basal ganglia will send the message that the feet should be still. However, if the child has ADHD, the feet may not get the message. The legs of people with ADHD usually keep moving when they sit. Deficiency of basal ganglia function can also lead to quivering hand movements or the habit of tapping a pencil.
- The prefrontal cortex is the brain's connection for performing more complex tasks. This part is what regulates memory and learning and attention so that we can function intellectually.
- The prefrontal cortex affects dopamine levels. Dopamine is associated with the ability to focus and tends to be at lower levels in people with ADHD.
- Serotonin, which is also a neurotransmitter is found in the prefrontal cortex. This affects mood, ability to sleep, and appetite. For example, eating chocolate will increase serotonin, so you feel healthier overall. However, when serotonin is depleted, you will experience depression and anxiety.
- The smaller prefrontal cortex, with lower levels of dopamine and serotonin, will make it difficult for a person to focus. As a result, those with ADHD find it difficult to focus on just one thing. These people are also more easily distracted.
- The prefrontal cortex is still developing in the young adult stage. This causes people with ADHD to look more severe.
Step 4. Look for other problems
ADHD is often accompanied by other mental health problems.
- Specifically, one in five people with ADHD are diagnosed with another serious disorder, such as depression and bipolar disorder.
- A third of children with ADHD also experience behavioral disorders, such as being disrespectful or often defiant.
- ADHD is also often accompanied by learning difficulties and anxiety.
Step 5. Ask for a diagnosis
If your teen shows any of these signs, see a doctor immediately for a professional opinion. Knowing whether ADHD is the cause of your child's problems will help you determine the next steps.
Part 2 of 5: Coping With ADHD
Step 1. Recognize the challenges of ADHD
Remember that ADHD is a serious condition. It's not about the fact that your child isn't diligent or "just stupid." Try to understand these challenges and react with compassion.
- People with ADHD face some serious obstacles when they struggle to achieve their life goals. They also often feel misunderstood. Teens with ADHD may believe that people think they are stupid.
- Others, including relatives, may have a hard time understanding what you and your child are going through.
- Be prepared to spend time and money on therapy, travel to health care providers, and pharmacy-related expenses. Usually you also need a lot of time to deal with problems at school.
- Children with arousal problems visit the emergency room more often or are punished at school.
- All of this happens on weekdays. As a result, the time spent may cost you or have to take on a job with fewer responsibilities/low working hours.
Step 2. Choose a treatment
For many people with ADHD, medication is an important tool to help with the adaptation process. There are two categories of ADHD medications: stimulants (such as methylphenidate and amphetamines), and non-stimulants (such as guanfacine and atomoxetine).
- Coping with hyperactivity with stimulants doesn't seem reasonable. However, it is actually the brain circuits that are stimulated that are responsible for controlling impulse problems and improving focus. Stimulants, including Ritalin, Concerta, and Adderall, can help regulate neurotransmitters (norepinephrine and dopamine). Likewise with non-stimulant antidepressant drugs that are usually used to treat ADHD.
- Determining the right type of treatment and specific is difficult. Everyone responds in different ways to different types of treatment. In addition, the effectiveness of treatment changes during times of maximal growth, hormonal fluctuations, changes in diet and weight, and when a person refuses to be helped.
- Medication can improve your ability to focus and reduce impulsive behavior.
- Many medications can be taken in a gradually released dosage format. This way, you don't have to manually set up their use at school.
- Over time, medicines may no longer be needed, or only stored for certain times – for example when someone is taking a college entrance exam or thesis trial.
Step 3. Provide foods that help control ADHD
Changes in diet can minimize the effects of your teen's hormone deficiency. Give him the right food to reduce the severity of his condition.
- A diet that contains high amounts of complex carbohydrates can increase serotonin, thereby improving mood, sleep quality, and appetite. Avoid giving simple carbohydrates, such as sugar, honey, jelly, candy, soda, etc. These foods cause a temporary spike in serotonin. Instead, choose complex carbohydrates, such as whole grains, leafy greens, starchy vegetables, and beans. All of this serves as a “gradual” release of energy.
- To increase focus, give your child a protein-rich diet, which includes several types of protein throughout the day. In this way, the dopamine level remains high. Examples include meat, fish, beans, legumes, and chickpeas.
- Avoid giving "unhealthy fats" to teens. Examples of these fats, for example, are found in fried foods, burgers, and pizza, and saturated fat. Instead of choosing these foods, give salmon, walnuts and avocados, which are rich in omega 3 fatty acids. These may help lower hyperactivity while improving organizational skills.
- A diet high in iron can also help. Provide seafood, poultry, additional cereals, and other foods that are high in iron. In addition, also provide supplements. Iron is useful for reducing the level of hyperactivity and impulses.
- Several types of spices can also help. Turmeric fights depression, while cinnamon helps focus attention.
Step 4. Try to prevent your child from eating harmful foods
While certain foods can relieve ADHD symptoms, other foods can make the effects worse. Examples of such foods are:
- Contains dyes, especially red food coloring. Several studies have shown that there is a link between food coloring and ADHD symptoms.
- Contains wheat, milk, as well as processed foods, sugar, and other additives. Get rid of these foods for positive results.
Step 5. Find ADHD therapy
A good therapist can often help you and your child deal with the challenges that come with ADHD. Therapy usually begins with analysis and rearrangement of the family structure. The goal is to create an environment that is compatible with how the child's brain works so that he can be successful.
- Therapy also provides a safe place for family members to release frustrations in a healthy way, and resolve issues with professional guidance.
- People with ADHD often benefit from learning more about their condition and knowing that they are not alone.
Step 6. Use a day-to-day strategy to manage behavior
In addition to these types of treatment, you can also take advantage of some daily strategies to manage ADHD symptoms. As an example:
- Talk to the teacher about the possibility of allowing the child to sit on a bungee chair or a large fitness ball. This way, he is less likely to make noise or fight with his friends because he is constantly shaking his legs.
- For hand movement problems, give a stress ball. It's a ball he can squeeze under pressure, so he doesn't tap his pencil or fingers on the table. Thus, the atmosphere during the exam can be more awake.
- Consider allowing your child to play electronic games when he has to wait a long time. These games can be helpful in restaurants or when the child has to sit still (eg during worship, waiting for the doctor at the clinic, etc.).
- Just before a long period of sitting, children may be happy if they have a place to "drain" energy. Help your child run around the yard or in circles. Exercise can really help.
Part 3 of 5: Developing Parenting Skills
Step 1. Define a routine
The key to success here hinges on consistent schedules and routines, developed with organizational structure and organization. This is important so that children with ADHD are not too stressed. In addition, the possibility of children misbehaving because it is triggered by a sense of stress can also be reduced.
- Children with ADHD need to divide their tasks into steps that are done one at a time or in written form. Parents should give positive feedback every time the child completes a step.
- Develop a routine that provides consistent instructions at each step. Have your child repeat the instructions back to you.
- This method is effective for tasks that can be broken down into smaller parts. For example, imagine your child is in charge of mowing the lawn. Instruct him to first trim the front yard, then the side of the house, then the back yard. At the end of each step, you can praise his good work. If he has several tasks to do in a day, consider writing them down on a list. Again, praise your child every time he finishes something.
- The lower the stress level, the more successful your method will be. The more successful the method and the more praise, the more the child's sense of self-worth will increase. Thus, he is ready to welcome further success in the future.
Step 2. Reduce conflict between work and home tasks
Routines are important to ensure both are completed. Set a regular schedule to complete all the tasks at hand.
- Homework routines should be consistent: done at the same time and place every day. Prepare lots of supplies to help the child and place them in a container if the space available is large enough.
- Make sure homework doesn't start right when the child enters the room. Let him do something fun first to release the excess energy.
- When needed, show how you tackled a task and suggest ways to set priorities. Divide large projects into smaller areas and set deadlines for completion for each of these small tasks.
- Coordinate with teachers whenever possible. Did the teacher give you a list of homework, or did your child's school use an agenda? If not, buy it yourself. Choose one that has plenty of note space to write down each day and show your child how to use it.
- Reduce the argument about assignments by setting up and requiring certain consistent times. Get in the habit of giving gifts whenever possible. For example, keep game controllers away from video games and give them only when the child is done with the task.
- Prepare visual cues to remind children of tasks to be done. A written calendar and schedule, or task reminder board can get rid of the “I forgot” excuse.
Step 3. Prepare additional things in the holiday period
Times like this can be a nightmare for parents of children with ADHD. The structure and schedule of the previous school year suddenly ended. Plan ahead and set up a structure so the family doesn't mind.
You must replace the structure that is lacking with another regular schedule. Encourage your child to join a club, audition for a play, or sign up to volunteer at a local charity that has regular working hours. In this way, children get used to doing routines
Step 4. Set the environment
People with ADHD often try to understand their environment. Parents can help by providing the right home environment for them to be successful.
- Define a storage system that divides objects into categories thereby reducing clutter.
- Place the box or trash can in a central location in the house, so you can stack the things your child leaves around the house, such as clothes, books, or games. This way, it's easier for you to tidy things up. In addition, children also know where the right location to find the things they left behind.
Step 5. Resolve sibling conflicts
You should think about how your child with ADHD deals with his sibling. Make sure he understands that there are good reasons why he is being treated differently.
- Some parents assume that the other child will understand why they should spend more time with a sibling with special needs. In fact, these children may feel hurt by this fact, for example, because parents tend to take care of their sibling more often, assign fewer tasks, or give children with ADHD more gifts than their siblings.
- Speak honestly with your child about the situation. Use age-appropriate, non-judgmental language.
- Explain that you value a child's ability to be responsible and independent in challenging times. Make sure he knows that you'll be there for him when needed, and that you love him as much as you love his ADHD sibling.
- Take special time to bond with other children. Having a child with ADHD can take up a lot of time, effort, and attention. So, make sure you pay attention and meet the needs of other children.
Step 6. Take care of yourself
Parenting a child with ADHD can be emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausting. Make sure you take care of yourself and your partner.
- Take an occasional break, no matter how much you love your child. You won't be able to help him to the fullest if you allow yourself to get too tired without resting. Children will also need time to show their individual attitude and pursue relationships outside the home.
- Also consider seeing a therapist to help you navigate the challenges of parenting a child with special needs.
Part 4 of 5: Providing Effective Disciplinary Action
Step 1. Be consistent
All children need to be disciplined and learn that bad behavior will have consequences. Taking Charge of ADHD: The Complete, Authoritative Guide For Parents by Russell A. Barkley (2005). In order for discipline to change behavior in adolescents with ADHD, the discipline must be carried out consistently.
- Teenagers must know the rules that apply and the consequences if they violate them. This consequence must be the same every time a rule is not obeyed.
- Both parents must agree and give consequences in the same way.
Step 2. Ensure that disciplinary action is taken immediately
Because teens with ADHD have a harder time focusing, you need to act on the consequences as quickly as possible.
- The impact must also be immediate and not delayed. People with ADHD usually have a hard time understanding the concept of time, so the delayed consequences may not be significant.
- If the child suffers consequences that go too far after the offence, this can lead to conflict.
Step 3. Make sure your disciplinary action has a strong impact
The consequences of misbehavior must be substantial. If your child can easily avoid it, he will underestimate the consequences.
- For example, if the consequence of speeding is to pay a fine of IDR 10,000, we will all continue to speed. This fine is not a strong enough consequence to change behavior. However, if the ticket given is IDR 2,000,000,00, we will of course continue to pay attention to the speed limit. The same is true for children with ADHD. The consequences must be strong enough to function as a deterrent.
- Don't undo the consequences. If you threaten big consequences and don't do it, your child won't listen next time. Say only what you really mean and vice versa if you want to be respected and obeyed.
Step 4. Stay calm
Take disciplinary action in a way that shows that you are rational and able to handle the situation.
Anger or a raised voice may cause anxiety or send a message that your child can control you, because it is what triggers these reactions. Remain calm and loving to get your message across
Step 5. Be positive
People with ADHD tend to feel that they are “always” messing things up or running into problems. Regardless of your personality or parenting style, make sure you stay positive. Children with ADHD need to feel that they are being praised more often than they are being criticized.
- The positive input should outweigh the negative input significantly. This is important for overcoming feelings of failure. Make an effort to “catch him doing good” more often and praise your child when he achieves something.
- Communicate the rules at home in positive language whenever possible. For example, instead of saying, "Don't interrupt!", say, "Wait your turn" or "Let your brother finish first." You may have to practice getting used to changing the prohibition in the negative, for example from “Don't talk while chewing!” to “Swallow the food in your mouth before you speak” – however, this can become a habit as long as you are patient. Positive rules make mistakes that occur less feel like failures.
Step 6. Anticipate problems
You must learn to anticipate future problems if you have children with ADHD. Be prepared for problems that may occur and plan interventions to prevent them.
- Help children develop the ability to analyze cause and effect and solve problems, by helping them find solutions together. Get in the habit of thinking about and discussing bad possibilities with your child before trying to face challenging situations.
- If the child feels that he has entered into an agreement about how to handle some situation, he is more likely to follow through with appropriate behavior. Otherwise, at least the child will still feel that the consequences are not too arbitrary.
Part 5 of 5: Overcoming Challenges at School
Step 1. Communicate with the teacher
Adolescents with ADHD usually have difficulty learning at school. Parents often complain that the school and its teachers fail to properly care for children with ADHD, who have special needs. Teachers may just think of them as disobedient, rebellious, and lazy people. So, make sure you communicate with the teachers so they understand the real problem.
- The hope is that meetings with teachers will result in collaborative efforts. Teachers can combine their professional experience with parents' knowledge of what works for their child. This way, you can develop a concurrent educational plan so that your child can succeed, both academically and behaviorally.
- Parents should discuss a variety of topics with the teacher. These include effective rewards and consequences, how to follow a proper homework routine, how teachers will communicate regularly about problems and successes, how parents can imitate what teachers do in class to achieve better consistency, etc.
Step 2. Help develop a routine
As with daily chores and homework, children with ADHD are more likely to be successful if they stick to a consistent routine. Do whatever you can to help him develop a productive routine.
- For some students, success will be easily achieved with a consistent schedule, routine, and homework communication.
- Effective organizational tools, such as daily agendas, color-coded binders, and checklists can also help.
Step 3. If you live in the US, you can request special treatment
Even with a consistent routine and helpful teachers, some students may still need extra support. For parents in the know, there are several types of services available. Examples include extra time to complete exams to special rooms containing specially trained teachers and aid workers.
- Children may be given special treatment for one of two basic reasons: they do have a special condition, or they lag behind their peers academically.
- If you think your child needs more help, ask for a special education evaluation service. Submit this request in writing.
- Be wary of schools that don't think ADHD is a condition that requires special attention. Someone may think that ADHD is not included in the list of special needs, or what in the US is called the Disabilities Education Act (IDEA). However, the country's laws say there is a category nine, which includes "other health disorders". These health disorders are then defined as “… chronic or acute health problems such as asthma, ADD, or ADHD… that significantly affect a child's performance in education”.
Step 4. Create an Individual Education Plan (IEP)
The IEP, which is an individual education plan, is a document created by school staff as well as parents. This document defines academic, behavioral, and social targets for students with special needs. This document also defines how results will be measured, defines specific intervention steps to achieve targets, and so on.
- After providing documentation regarding your child's ADHD diagnosis and specific educational evaluation, you will be invited to attend an IEP conference.
- The conference lists decisions about small classrooms, percentage of participation in public classrooms, accommodation, disciplinary action, trials, and much more.
- Schools are legally bound to follow the guidelines set out in the IEP. Teachers who fail to take the IEP will be vulnerable to lawsuits, both personally and through their institutions.
- Schools should also invite parents to attend regular IEP conferences, to evaluate the child's progress and the effectiveness of the plan. Adjust this plan as needed.
- The initial IEP will facilitate special treatment when a child changes schools.
Step 5. Find transition help
When a child turns 16, it's time to see what he or she will need when they reach high school. When IEP-protected children reach the age of 16, the focus of their files will go to transitional services. You can help facilitate this process.
- Many ADHD teens need special guidance to prepare for college. This guide includes finding the right institution that will support special needs. In addition, the available services also include finding accommodation for testing purposes, as well as determining how special needs will be met in the application process.
- High school students with ADHD may lag behind their peers in life skill areas. They may not know how to open a savings account, arrange car insurance, negotiate prices, read partnership contracts, or manage a monthly budget. All of these are concerns that must be mastered by teenagers. For those with ADHD, schools may be able to provide additional guidance.
- People with ADHD should also monitor their mental development. For example, have they been able to make appointments as needed with doctors, therapists, and hospital managers? Do they know what kind of medicine they should take, when and how to take it, and when to go back for a new dose? All of these, and many other questions, are important questions to answer, in line with IEP-based services in the schools they attend.
- Sexual development is also often a concern. Struggles with causal thinking combine with impulsivity, creating a “big storm.” Some schools have programs to introduce their students to parenting obligations. These schools may also provide contraceptive information and/or methods of restraint. Adolescents with ADHD need strong guidance to navigate this area.
Step 6. Help the youth to consider going to college
After high school ended, he had to decide whether to continue his education or go straight to work. You can provide guidance to make this decision easier to make. Here are some suggestions that may also help you.
- College is not for everyone. Some students with ADHD will be happier avoiding college and seeking alternative schools or other career paths. However, just because someone has ADHD, that doesn't mean they can't go to college.
- All campuses have student counseling services, but the decision to use them is up to each student. The university may not ask if a prospective student needs accommodation or other assistance. Students with ADHD should learn about the types of help available and prepare for all of them before starting their education.
- Some colleges have strong arrangements to help students with ADHD. They help these students achieve academically, and help them learn more about achieving success in their career fields.
- Most students with ADHD may be less stressed and more successful if they don't have to move too far from home. Having a strong, supportive structure in college also helps to compensate. Choose a small campus so that he does not feel too tired mentally. This can help him.
Step 7. Study skills schools options
Schools like this might be the right answer for some people with ADHD. In addition, it is also a good option for those who are more effective in learning practicals than through traditional methods that emphasize the academic side.
- Skills schools (or specialty schools and major universities) provide hands-on technical training and certification in various fields. Many of them offer vocational training with short-term certificates or two-year bachelor's degree programs.
- These options may give students the qualifications they need to work as electricians, plumbers, mechanics, veterinary technicians, graphic designers, secretaries, and in a variety of other fields.
- Some of these programs, upon completion, may provide a certificate from the university if taken over four years.
- Work with a high school or university counselor to select skills programs.
Step 8. Consider the military
Joining the army may be a good option for some teens with ADHD. This pathway is usually suitable for those who can survive in an atmosphere of low social support and can benefit from skills training.
In the past, ADHD led to an automatic disqualification from military service. In today's world, new guidelines allow adults with ADHD, who have been on medication for a year or more and have not "displayed significant impulsivity or inability to pay attention", to join the army (the context here is in the US)
Tips
- Regarding treatment is a very personal decision. These decisions may have to be adjusted or radically changed over time.
- Discuss all important dietary changes with the doctor overseeing ADHD medication. Make sure there are no conflicts that could negatively impact or alter the efficacy of prescription medications. Doctors are also able to advise the dosage of supplements needed and warn about all possible side effects. For example, melatonin may improve sleep quality in people with ADHD, but it can also promote vivid dreaming states. This experience may not be pleasant.
- Sometimes, parents attend an IEP conference and are provided with complete IEP guidance. This manual is read or explained, then it must be signed. Don't do that! Make sure in advance that your input has been received and accurately reflects the child and his or her special needs.
- ADDitude Magazine is a free online learning resource that provides information, strategies, and support for adults with ADHD, children, and their parents with ADHD.
Warning
- Stimulants have side effects, such as decreased appetite and difficulty sleeping. This second problem can often be overcome by reducing the dose or adding prescription drugs to improve sleep quality, such as clonidine or melatonin.
- Non-stimulant medications may be more effective for some people with ADHD, but some of the side effects may be more worrying. For example, young people taking atomoxetine should be watched closely, as they may experience increased suicidal thoughts.
