Have you always wanted to be that cool guy who always seems to do the right thing? Or do you desire to be a cool girl who navigates life with ease and grace? If you think about all the people you think are cool, you will find common characteristics between them: they are all confident, quirky, and generally friendly to everyone; there's no reason you can't be like that either. There is no universal definition of how to be cool, but here are some guidelines to get you started.
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Method 1 of 3: Be Cool
Step 1. Don't be spoiled
Remember, cool people are determined to never get spoiled (too dependent on people) or give up hope. Instead, try to solve your own problems whenever you can. If you are not spoiled, people will want to help you or will ask for your help. This trait attracts people. Being spoiled is a huge squelch to attraction unless you're really in a pinch. This doesn't mean you have to pretend to be invincible; just don't ask people for help, don't act like you can't do it yourself, or expect someone else to solve your problem.
- Friendship is good, but don't act like you're going to die if you have to spend a Friday night alone. Time to be alone is also good.
- If someone hasn't called you yet, don't call. You don't need to be chased around with annoying SMS. Give people some leeway and they'll respect you more.
Step 2. Be yourself
This will make it what other people are looking for. You are unique, and you don't need to join a group. Make your own friendship. Being cool is being who you are in a friendly way, even if you are calm but not sour and passive aggressive. Don't try to be like other people by imitating the way other people move or act, although trying to act like that is fine as long as you don't do it often, because it gives a false impression because it's not part of your personality and you're trying to be something you are not. Live life for yourself You the real one. Don't forget yourself or your morals. Being cool isn't about changing yourself, it's about being confident enough to let people see how amazing you really are.
- If you don't let others see the real you, then what's the point? Being able to be yourself while making others respect you is the coolest thing.
- Own your personality. Your bad habits, your good things, your appearance, your voice…..everything belongs to you. Own it and don't apologize for what you have to anyone even if it's bad or something you don't like about yourself. Remember, we are all human and we try to accept each other despite all our flaws and traits, why not accept yourself who is the most important person in the universe to you.
- Write down a list of all the goals you are aiming for. The essence of what keeps you cool is your identity. Try to find your talent - sports, music, art, whatever. People will see your passion and respect you for it. You can also learn new skills and meet new people by trying new things.
Step 3. Practice self-disclosure
The more you reveal yourself the better you understand yourself. Self-disclosure is the act of both conscious and subconscious to reveal yourself further to others. This may include, but is not limited to, thoughts, feelings, aspirations, goals, failures, successes, fears, dreams and likes, dislikes, and favorite things.
The self-disclosure happened slowly. Don't tell just anyone you meet at a party about your personal life, otherwise things could go wrong
Step 4. Be friendly, but don't get too excited
Everyone likes someone who is open, but no one likes someone who is overly passionate. Many people find someone who is too excited to be annoying. Try not to force yourself on other people. Smile and strike up a conversation, but make sure you know the line between friendly and obsessive. When you meet new people, take it easy, even if you think you are friends with your soul mate.
- If you're too excited to hang out with new people, then it might seem like you don't have any other friends.
- You can give someone a friendly compliment, but don't overwhelm people with how amazing they are for half an hour.
Step 5. Be a good conversationalist
Everyone likes someone who knows what to say at the right time. Don't dominate the conversation. You don't have to share the same story in every setting. Just listen and comment briefly on other people's stories. Most of the time, it's much better to be quiet and digest the conversation, enjoy your friends' humor and be a good listener.
- Be a good listener. Remember the golden rule; Always try to make the other person feel appreciated and do it sincerely and truly. When you listen to that person it not only makes that person feel appreciated, it also helps to be a good listener and increases your focus.
- Most people like to talk about themselves. If you keep the conversation centered on the other person, then people will enjoy talking to you. Then wait for the right moment to comment, usually the results will be good. However, if you find yourself in the middle of a group of silent people, it's best to take the Tony Stark approach.
- Have fun! Joke with them. It's fine to have fun with the person, but make sure that you know your limits and that the people around you are people who know you're joking.
Step 6. Avoid using slang too often
This can make you appear "fake" or unable to understand respectable language. Speak normally, clearly and confidently and if you feel the need to use more formal language and use more elevated words. But don't overdo it as this can make you look smug, it's just as bad as looking fake.
Finding the right balance in your language is important to make you look smart and sound smart in front of your peers
Step 7. Use humor
Cool people always use humor and ease in any situation. They don't get annoyed and angry, no matter how much bad things happen to them, they don't get too upset; they quipped about it. They have excellent emotional awareness and they don't let bad emotions get to them, they have amazing emotional control and understanding.
- Learn how to laugh at yourself. Being cool doesn't mean being perfect, and being able to find humor in your moments of awkwardness and discomfort is a hallmark of coolness. People will not only appreciate you for it, but they will like you for being human, just like them.
- You can be cool and you can be too cool." People who are too cool take themselves too seriously to laugh at stupid jokes, very silly but funny. Don't be that kind of person.
Step 8. Speak up
Watch out for "cool" people; they usually speak confidently and clearly, at a good pace. They don't slurp fast, hiccup, say uh, um…,'" or mumble. They say what they think, and mean what they say. Be confident with your words and don't let people down. try to change it. If you state your opinion and people disagree, don't worry.
Say how you feel and people will appreciate you for it, except if you say that and find out it will offend someone. However, take it into account. Don't shout your opinion just to be heard. Make sure it's relevant, and ready to account for it properly.
Step 9. Keep your "calm" yourself
The definition of cool itself is calm, in control, uninspired, unresponsive, and socially adept. Often, cool people are people who don't react easily to things, who don't always have to talk, unless they have something cool to say. Learn how to connect with people. Don't get angry or frustrated. Being calm is natural. Very easy to do. Believe in yourself.
- Often times, people who try too hard to stay calm are failing themselves by trying too hard. People like people who don't try too hard, but still succeed. How is that the way? One of the secrets of being cool is when one is somewhere between trying and not trying at all, and yet things are going well.
- Take a deep breath. Being cool is about relaxing and comfortable in any situation. Do not provoke you. If you feel like you're about to lose your temper, or cry, or lose control at any rate, take a deep breath and leave politely. Stay calm.
Step 10. Don't use bad behavior to get attention
There are many people who smoke, drink, intimidate, and other bad habits. Most often, this comes from negative influences. After doing something bad, a person can be "rewarded" with attention. "I can't believe he did that!", people say. It's easy to misinterpret attention for popularity, even if it's the result of doing something wrong. If you want to be cool, you need to know your limits.
- You don't have to pay attention to negativity to be really cool. Oftentimes, people who brag about lawlessness and drunkenness don't fit into the cool category. If a group of people don't like you for who you are and the lifestyle you've chosen, move on.
- Don't abuse drugs. Real cool people know how to be cool without drugs and alcohol.
- Don't smoke, it won't make you cool-it will make you stink. Other smokers will not feel this smell because they smell they are the same. When you smoke you are more likely to hang out with other smokers, and this limits your boyfriend's options because most non-smokers hate the smell of cigarette smoke and won't want to be around you. Don't judge smokers-just don't pick up a habit that leads you to end up paying people to help quit your addiction.
- Never argue. If you're cool, arguing is always cancelled. You realize winning an argument is pointless. When you know you're right enough you just believe it. You don't have to waste time, effort and energy trying to persuade someone whose perspective doesn't match yours.
Method 2 of 3: Think Cool
Step 1. Remember that other people are just like you
Even a group of people is the same as you. If you are speaking to a potential employer, a group of wealthy donors, children, foreigners, the president of the United States, or an attractive man or woman, for example, remember that they are neither better than you nor worse than you. They should be treated as you should be treated. Respect others, but expect them to accept your attitude as such.].
- When someone doesn't respect you, ignore them until they figure it out. Don't pretend you didn't hear your antagonist, but relax and ignore their comments. There's a reason they didn't show you respect or the person didn't do what you asked them to.
- People may be rude to you because they are unhappy, someone hurt them recently, you were rude to them, or because they were never taught the right way to act around people. But always know it's for a reason, be willing to find out what the reason is as long as you want them to respect you.
Step 2. Understand that some people won't
While it feels good to dazzle people with your nimble wit, sometimes you'll meet someone who really doesn't understand you. They'll look at you in confusion and ask you to explain what you think is a pretty self-explanatory pop culture reference. Not a problem. The interesting thing about humans is that they are so diverse.
People's sense of humor is very diverse. If you get a confused look, just be polite, walk away politely, and note any embarrassment to later use in your stand-up comedy routine
Step 3. Trust your friends
There's a reason they hang themselves around you. The personality traits in yourself that you despise may be habits they find charming. Let them decide instead of presenting an incomplete version of yourself to the world. If you want to be cool, then you have to believe that the people around you really like you and feel that your relationship is meaningful.
Remember that it's not cool to hang out with people you think are cool just because you think it will make you catch their cool. Life is not like that
Step 4. Don't be afraid to be different
Whether that means sticking to one's feet, standing up for others, or taking an interest in something no one else is interested in, like playing an instrument, try to be different and stand out. Cool people are the ones who occasionally go against the grain and make people question the status quo. People who are not confident will, once in a while, become jealous of you. These people will try to bring you down, in an attempt to take the attention away from you and bestow it on themselves.
The important thing to remember is not to smile brightly; just ignore them. It's not as if you didn't hear your antagonist, but relax and ignore their comments
Step 5. Be self-aware
There's a difference between letting society's judgments affect your self-esteem, and being aware of how other people feel about you. What you are really doing is realizing how you look from the other person's perspective. In terms of physical appearance: Beware of food stuck in your teeth, bad breath, body odor, toilet paper stuck to your shoes, etc. In terms of serenity; smile, stand/sit up straight (it makes you look and feel more confident), smile generously, be polite and considerate, etc.
- Obviously be aware of your body language at all times; analyzing body language can be a useful tool for knowing how to present yourself.
- Knowing how people feel about you at school, at a football game, or at a party can help you gauge what people think of you, and adjust your actions accordingly. This doesn't mean you have to change who you are, but if you're at a party, it's a good idea to understand if you're really dominating the conversation and even boring people so you can back off a bit.
Step 6. Calm down
Serious. Constantly convincing yourself that you're not good at socializing creates anxiety that runs through your mind the next time you talk to someone. You then focus on the word anxiety, and it all becomes one big self-presenting cycle. If you're always worried about what could go wrong in social situations, you won't be able to appreciate things going right.
- If you are nervous or anxious, other people will be able to tell, and they will feed off your anxious energy, creating more anxiety. Instead, be calm and make people feel that they are calmer in your presence, and they will be attracted to you.
- It's okay to freak out to a trusted friend if you need to once in a while. Just don't get the reputation of being a freak all the time.
Step 7. Don't think about it - do it
It's okay to read books and blogs about self-improvement, but you have to actually act and apply the theories that work for you. Do! Even though it's so scary, it's really refreshing. Who knows who you might run into and what they might be able to offer you? (Pleasure, intellectual stimulation, horseback riding, work…)
- Be a person of action, not a person who only has ideas.
- Of course, thinking things through before acting is a good trait. But thinking things through and then doing nothing will get you nowhere.
Method 3 of 3: Look Cool
Step 1. Present yourself in a positive way
Walk with good posture and look people in the eye. If you slack or stare at your feet, people will not respect you. You have to be visible and confident in order to receive the respect you need. Also don't walk too fast because it will make you run away.
Smile. Be a person who is used to and is not shy about smiling all the time, with every smile a genuine smile. If you smile when you meet someone, you immediately appear confident, friendly and relaxed. Confident, outgoing, and easygoing people are much more attractive than similar but uptight people
Step 2. Get in shape
Getting fit will increase your self-esteem and will allow you to see the world in a more positive light. This doesn't mean that you need a six pack to be cool, it just means that taking care of your body is definitely cool. Try to exercise regularly, go to the gym, or play sports and stay in good shape. Eat healthy too. Having the energy to get involved in many things is something that not everyone is born with, so give it a try. You will see results if you work hard.
Know that you can never please everyone. Try hard, but don't worry too much about judging yourself or being judged by others. People have a million ways to hurt your feelings. Learn to identify them and become immune. Be happy with yourself and do what you love
Step 3. Practice good hygiene
Make sure to brush your teeth every morning and every night. And whenever you can, even after lunch. Put on some perfume (if you're a girl) and spritz on a little perfume (if you're a boy). Shower every day and apply deodorant. Also use lotion to keep your skin from getting rough and use a little lip balm if your lips are dry. You should wash your face every morning to keep it fresh and acne free.
You don't have to spend hours taking care of your appearance every day to be cool. But hey, spending 20-30 minutes showering and grooming your body has nothing to lose
Step 4. Embrace confident body language
If you want to look cool, then your body must exude confidence at all times. If you are talking to someone, make eye contact, use your hands to signal, and sit or stand with good posture. Smile, even if you feel a little nervous, and don't fidget with your hands or look at the floor when you're talking to someone, or you won't look like you're sure of what you're saying.
Step 5. Find your own style
As long as your personality radiates, you can wear whatever you like. There are people who get girlfriends even though they wear sweaters all the time. Some of the most geeky and "uncool" people are known to get boyfriends because everyone has a different perception of coolness. This is clearly an affirmation of coolness.
You don't have to follow trends to be cool; You can just look comfortable and happy in whatever you wear
Tips
- Respect others. Don't be argumentative and burdensome if you think the other person is wrong. Everyone is entitled to his opinion no matter how diverse.
- Change your attitude – if you have a negative attitude, change it. Cool people always have a positive attitude. Nobody likes negative people. When people get to know you and see that you always have a positive perspective on things even if things don't go your way, then they'll love hanging out with you.
- Be big-headed until it's narcissistic no cool. On the other hand, personality magnetism uses humility and agreement, appreciation of enthusiasm or shared pleasure towards: musical genres, shared beliefs (such as religion), unselfishness and charismatic leadership.
- If you are worried about being disturbed, know and understand that show being influenced by it is exactly what separates the coolest people from the rest, and consider this an opportunity to be seen as cool. Know that your core is not defined by other people, especially if they don't really know you. Be happy with who you are, because there's nothing wrong with your core.
- Don't wait for people to ask to hang out with you. They are waiting for you. Invite them. And be prepared. Don't ask them to come and you don't know what to do. This quenches your friend's interest, and they won't want to come back again.
- Remember to be calm. This means don't get excited too easily, don't be so loud that it annoys her and don't be too dependent.
- Don't be shy. But don't be too fussy. Be calm and be yourself. Be social. Get out and have fun with new people.
- Learn to read people and be patient when sharing opinions. Understand that whatever you say to people or give advice, it's just your opinion. They can accept or reject it, there is no need to force them to understand. Just make sure you know exactly what you are saying.
- Come out. Do things. Be active. Follow the club. Do something. The more you go out instead of at home, the more social you'll be able to socialize, and have fun.
- Find a way to love learning. Cool people do a lot of cool things.
Warning
- Don't build your cool attitude by making other people seem uncool. You will only make more enemies than friends that way. People will not worship someone who orders or beats them all the time. Maybe they will be scared, which obviously they will not respect you.
- Always stand up for people, and don't slander other people, because being cool means being liked by everyone, including people who aren't as high as you on a social level.
- Some people are not people who will be a good influence on you. You can "be cool" without being a member of the most popular group.
