Making friends at school is not always easy. Since making friends is a process, it doesn't always happen quickly. But if you want to find out and make new friends, there are strategies you can take that can help expand your circle of friends.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Meeting New People
Step 1. Join a club
If you want to make new friends, you can start by meeting new people to make friends with.
- Clubs are a great choice because they provide a structured environment for you to interact with and can expose you to people you have in common with.
- Depending on your interests, you might consider joining a service-oriented club, a language club, a playing club, a literary magazine club, and so on.
Step 2. Join an academic team or athletic team
Being on a team builds friendships and often gives you the opportunity to hang out and talk to the same people.
- If you're not confident in your sporting abilities, try joining a recreational league. They are more relaxed and less competitive.
- If you have multiple athletic abilities, look for a team sport where those abilities are most valued. If you're a good runner, for example, consider joining a soccer club, lacrosse, or cross-country team.
- If your skills are more academic than physical, join a debate team, UN, or similar club.
Step 3. Take elective courses
Elective courses are another excellent opportunity to collaborate with people who share similar interests.[Image:Make New Friends in High School Step 3 Version 2.jpg|center]
- Options such as journalism, yearbooks, and theater will offer opportunities to get to know new people while collaborating to produce something tangible.
- Many options involve staying after school, which may not seem very good, but staying after school with a group of people allows you to get to know each other in a more relaxed setting, away from the monotony of the day-to-day school life, and to build friendships.
Step 4. Volunteer or find a job
Both working and volunteering is great for your resume and for your social group.
- Volunteering can be a great way to meet people from different backgrounds and ages. Look for volunteer clubs on campus, or search for a different volunteer organization in your city.
- Work will expose you to people you can talk to every day with minimal pressure, which is ideal if you have a hard time approaching other people. Look for jobs where you can work and talk to a wide variety of people and avoid jobs where you will often be isolated or you work alone.
Step 5. Go to a social event
This may seem very obvious, but social activities are fundamentally designed to be social.
- Dances, parties, city events, and rallies can provide opportunities for you to meet new people in favorable social circumstances.
- If you're shy, try to find other people or friends to hang out with. When you travel with the same people who are always with you, it will help you feel more comfortable and less alone.
Step 6. Be approachable
Looking dreamy, busy, or frustrated will not invite other people to approach you. If you want to make new friends, you have to be approachable.
- Smile. Giving a friendly smile makes you seem more pleasant, will make people more comfortable, and make them comfortable interacting with you.
- If you find it awkward to smile at strangers, you can subconsciously make yourself more open, having a friendly expression on your face rather than seeming like an introvert.
Step 7. Start with people you know
Approach people you already know and try to develop your relationship further.
- Look for opportunities to talk to your acquaintances and learn more about them and what they like. If all goes well, invite them to do something with you outside of school, this will help you to develop your relationship into a friendship.
- Ask people you know to introduce you to others. If you know someone who is part of a different group or is involved in an activity you enjoy, ask to invite you to join them.
Step 8. Make use of social networks
There are a variety of in-person social networking group meetings that are organized over the internet and can expose you to a new group of people based on your common interests.
- Know that this only helps if they have a face-to-face and actual meeting.
- Don't try to make new friends using only Facebook or Instagram. That's not to say no one has ever made friends from social media sites, but these friendships tend to go nowhere unless you actually go hang out in person. And some people don't like it when a stranger or someone they don't know approaches them over the internet to be friends.
- Offer to connect with new potential friends on social media. If you get along well with someone, ask them to add you as a friend or follow you on Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram, and so on.
Part 2 of 3: Introducing Yourself to New People
Step 1. Choose your moment
Approaching someone at the wrong time can sabotage your opportunities before you actually get started.
- Don't try to start a conversation at an obviously bad time, such as in the middle of a quiz or when someone is distracted by something else that seems to want their attention.
- Be aware that some people don't like to talk in certain situations. Some people don't enjoy talking on the bus or wiping the cafeteria tables. If they don't welcome your attempts to engage them in the conversation, so be it.
Step 2. Ask questions
The adage that people love to talk about themselves is mostly true. A question can also be a good silence breaker.
- If you don't know how to start a conversation with someone, start with a question like, "What's our job?" or “Who did you pick for biology class?”
- A great way to get close to someone is to ask them about themselves. Ask them questions about their hobbies, their family, their pets, and so on. If they tell you about something they did or accomplished, ask how they did it and why.
Step 3. Listen attentively
The key to getting to know someone is to listen carefully to what they have to say.
- Show that you are giving them your full attention by maintaining eye contact, nodding your head, and making small comments to show that you are following the flow of the conversation.
- When you ask other people questions, listen carefully to their answers to find out what their interests are and what their goals are. If one topic doesn't elicit much response from them, don't keep asking about it. Instead, move on to another topic. Once you find a topic where the other person seems excited or has a lot of words to say, ask further questions and stay focused to keep the conversation going.
Step 4. Follow their body language
People feel more comfortable when you follow their body language. Don't follow their every move, just do a similar posture.
- If they lean forward, do the same. If they are sitting with their legs crossed, cross your legs too.
- If they exhibit negative or closed body language (arms crossed, legs crossed while standing, or hands in their pockets), don't engage in negative body language. Instead, take it as a sign that they don't feel comfortable. Adopt open body language (lean forward when sitting, arms at sides with palms open, shoulders back and feet shoulder width apart, with feet facing the other person when standing) and try to direct the conversation to something that elicits a more positive response..
Step 5. Just relax
When you're nervous or tense, you make other people nervous or tense too – which most people don't like.
- Don't stress yourself out. Learn to let go of the doubts in your head that say "You look really awkward right now" or "they'll just laugh at you." Realize that the noise is just an insecurity and not the real thing.
- Breathe. When you are nervous you tend to hold your breath or take quick, short breaths, which can increase your nervousness. To calm yourself, take a few deep, full breaths before approaching the person you want to talk to and reminding yourself to keep taking regular deep breaths throughout the conversation.
Step 6. Avoid going too deep
Talking too much about yourself too soon can make other people feel uncomfortable.
- Don't tell other people your whole life story. Not only do they care less about hearing you talk about yourself at this point, other people are also more likely to see people who talk too much about themselves as self-obsessed.
- When you first get to know someone, only share fairly general personal information. Don't go into details that might make conversation awkward, such as your cousin in jail or your older sister's habit of eating tissue.
Part 3 of 3: Forming New Friends
Step 1. Organize structured activities
When getting to know someone new, it can be helpful to start with a structured activity that will take the pressure off the conversation between individuals.
- Great idea for structured activities like going to the theatre, drama, or sporting event. That way you'll both have something to focus on and to talk about, and you don't have to run the whole conversation alone.
- When you feel comfortable, you can move on to some more interactive structured activities such as playing basketball, miniature golf, snowboarding, ice skating, or going to a museum.
Step 2. Be patient
It takes time to become friends. Don't try to rush it or force it, be patient and stay persistent.
- If you feel that someone doesn't want to make new friends, or if they're repeatedly giving excuses why they can't go out to hang out, so be it. If you keep pushing, you can be hostile to him.
- If getting to know someone doesn't go well, don't give up. You won't always get along with everyone you meet, and some people just aren't good friends. If they don't want to start a friendship, don't be offended; they may have several reasons to back out that have nothing to do with you.
- If you are rejected by everyone you approach, consider how you would describe yourself. You may be in too much of a hurry or accidentally say something that offends people. Talk to a trusted family member about your possible different behavior.
Step 3. Be calm and polite
Whether they agree or disagree about getting out together, don't overreact.
- If they agree to go out together, smile, and say something positive. Looking too excited or too excited can make them distrust or doubt you.
- If they refuse your invitation, don't panic. Stay calm while saying things like, “It's okay. Nice to talk to you” and left. Don't get angry or look sad. Stay calm.
Step 4. Stay positive
Don't start scolding yourself or telling yourself that you won't be able to make friends.
- It's okay to feel a little hurt if someone doesn't respond positively to your invitation. Know that it can hurt to be rejected, but don't just dwell on the feeling. Accept it and move on to the next stage.
- Remind yourself that you can't be friends with everyone, and, most importantly, you probably won't be friends with everyone. This person may turn out to be a bad friend, and you may just be avoiding a problem that could happen to you.
Tips
- Give yourself time. Making friends will take time and is often a challenging process. You can't make friends with everyone you meet, and not everyone is worth approaching and making friends. Don't be discouraged when you don't instantly become best friends with someone – true friendship takes a long time.
- Don't scold yourself. If you're having trouble making new friends or if it's taking longer than you'd like, don't give up on yourself. If you start telling yourself that you're a loser or that you've become cornered, this will reflect in your attitude and how you describe yourself. People will be attracted to other people who are confident and comfortable with themselves (or at least look like they are), so stay calm and remind yourself of all the qualities you have to offer.
- Be smart. When making new friends, it can be tempting to accept anyone and everyone who seems to accept you. But don't get carried away with it – if someone gives you a bad feeling, is overly negative, or seems rude or manipulative in any way, keep your distance. Bad friends are worse than having no friends.
