Teasing, mocking, threatening, spreading untruthful news, hitting and spitting on someone are all part of unwanted repetitive behavior. This behavior is also known as bullying or bullying. While bullying usually refers to behavior exhibited by school-age children, many people use the term to refer to aggressive tactics of hurting someone (whether verbally, socially, or physically) who they perceive to be weaker.
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Method 1 of 3: Protecting Yourself from Bullies
Step 1. Find out if what you're going through is bullying
Oppression is not expressed in one form only; oppression is shown in the form of aggressive behavior, both verbally, socially and physically. Regardless of the form, these behaviors occur repeatedly (not just one time) and are forms of unwanted or unacceptable behavior.
- Examples of verbal bullying include teasing or disturbing, mocking, making inappropriate sexual comments or jokes, criticizing and threatening.
- Social bullying refers to someone's actions to damage someone's reputation or relationships and includes spreading false news about the person concerned, inciting people not to relate to or befriend the victim of bullying, or even intentionally humiliating the victim in front of the victim. general.
- It's important to remember that verbal or social bullying doesn't always happen directly (in this case, in the real world). One form of bullying known as cyberbullying is a form of bullying that is carried out via email, social media sites, text messages, or in other digital forms. Cyberbullying includes sending threatening messages, cyber violence, excessive sending of messages or emails, posting of embarrassing pictures or information on social media, and other verbal or social bullying tactics carried out in digital spaces.
- Physical bullying occurs when someone injures another person's body or property. Examples of physical bullying include spitting, hitting, pushing, kicking, punching, tripping others and pulling someone violently. In addition, stealing or damaging other people's property is also a form of physical oppression.
- Keep in mind that these behaviors can occur, but not to be considered as bullying. If abusive or aggressive behavior such as hitting or mocking occurs only once, the behavior is not technically immediately considered bullying. However, if such behavior occurs repeatedly, or the perpetrator clearly wants to continue displaying the behavior, the behavior may be considered bullying.
Step 2. Remain calm and ask the abuser to stop the behavior
Look at the bully and calmly and clearly ask him to stop his behavior. Let him know that his behavior was unacceptable and that he was being disrespectful.
- If you're good at joking with other people and don't feel threatened easily, you can laugh at the offender's comments or reply with a joke. The humorous response you show can make him stop his actions because the response he gets is different from the response he previously imagined.
- If the bullying takes place online (eg the internet), it's a good idea not to respond to messages the abuser sends. If you know the culprit and dare to ask him to stop, wait until you can talk to him in person.
Step 3. Stay away from the perpetrator
If you don't feel safe and comfortable talking, stay away from the bully. Stay away from the scene and go to a safe place frequented by people you trust.
If you are facing cyberbullying, stop responding to the abuser's messages or leave the site. To further avoid bullying situations, block the perpetrator's account so they can no longer contact you directly
Step 4. Talk to someone you trust
Meet with an adult, family member, teacher, friend, or someone you really trust and explain to them what you're going through.
- By telling others about your bullying, you will feel less afraid and alone. Plus, you can know what to do next to prevent bullying in the future.
- If you feel threatened or insecure, it's a good idea to talk to someone who has authority over the perpetrator and can represent you to resolve the issue, such as a teacher, supervisor, or police officer.
Step 5. Think of ways to keep yourself safe, both emotionally and physically
You can't just fight back and you should always tell someone you trust your abuse. However, there are things you can do to control and help yourself:
- If possible, avoid perpetrators of bullying or places where bullying is frequent.
- Make sure you are often surrounded or with other people, especially if bullying tends to occur when you are alone.
- If you're experiencing cyberbullying, try changing your screen name or other identifier you're using. Also update your account privacy settings so that only friends and family members can contact you, or create a new account. Remove personal information such as your home address or phone number from your profile and limit the amount of personal information you share in the future. Don't provide another way for the bully to contact you.
- Record or record when and where bullying occurred, and what you experienced. It's a good idea to keep a record of what you've been through if the bullying continues and further steps are needed by the authorities to stop it. If bullying occurs online, save all messages and emails from the abuser, including screenshots of posts on social media that the perpetrator sent.
Method 2 of 3: Helping Others Facing Bullying
Step 1. Don't ignore the bullying and don't tell the victim to ignore it
Never assume that aggression or violence in an event is harmless. If someone feels threatened, the situation should be taken seriously, regardless of whether what the person experienced was verbal harassment or threats of physical violence.
Step 2. Let the victim know that you want to help and support her
Victims of bullying often feel isolated and unsupported. Therefore, make sure you let him know that you are there for him.
- Ask him what makes him feel safe.
- Reassure the victim that the bullying she is experiencing is not her fault.
- Try role-playing (in a safe setting, of course) to help the victim learn safe ways to respond to bullying.
Step 3. Make sure everyone is safe before you intervene
If the bullying involved the use of weapons, threats of serious physical violence, or you feel unsafe, contact the police or authorities for assistance before you mediate between the parties involved.
Step 4. Immediately mediate between the two parties (if you feel safe) while remaining calm
It's a good idea to intervene as soon as possible before the bullying gets worse. Ask for help from others who are not involved in the bullying if possible.
It is important to remember that some community groups are at a higher risk of experiencing bullying. There are special considerations to take when dealing with bullying perpetrated against LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender) youth, youth with disabilities or special needs, or bullying perpetrated on the basis of race, ethnicity, or religion. You can get information about these groups by accessing this link
Step 5. Separate the two parties involved
Once you've separated the two parties and are able to talk to both of them separately, get some information and find out what happened. If you talk about what happened with both parties involved at the same time and place, victims of bullying may feel more depressed and embarrassed.
The bully may also bully or threaten the victim so that he or she feels insecure to talk about the bullying they experience. By talking to each side separately, chances are the victim won't be afraid to speak up
Step 6. Involve the school
All schools have rules or policies regarding bullying. In addition, many schools have implemented strategies to deal with cyberbullying. It is the duty of the school to solve these problems, but of course the school must first know what is happening.
Step 7. Seek help from a professional counselor or therapist
Victims of bullying can experience long-term emotional and psychological effects. Therefore, by getting professional help from the start, you can reduce these effects.
- Older children and adolescents often try to deal with the emotional consequences of bullying themselves. This has the potential to trigger depression and anxiety disorders.
- If an older child or teen becomes introverted or shows signs of depression or anxiety, such as changes in school performance, sleep patterns, eating patterns, or a reluctance to participate in social activities, it is important that you seek professional help in dealing with the child or teenager. Talk to a social service worker or counselor working at your child's school or other mental health professional.
Step 8. Don't tell the victim to fight back against the bully
Bullying involves two parties with an imbalance of power-one party is greater and the other is less, a group of people against one person, one party holds more status or control and the other has no authority, and so on. When fighting back, the victim faces a greater risk of violence or may feel guilty.
Method 3 of 3: Ending the Bullying Problem
Step 1. Watch for warning signs of bullying
There are many signs that indicate that a person is being bullied or is bullying others. By paying attention to these signs, you can recognize bullying and step in to deal with it early on.
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Some of the signs that indicate that someone is a victim of bullying include:
- There are cuts or bruises on the body for reasons that the victim cannot or does not want to explain
- Loss, theft or damage to personal belongings, such as torn clothes, broken glasses, stolen cell phones, etc.
- Sudden change of interest or sudden urge to avoid certain people or places
- Sudden changes in diet, self-esteem, sleep patterns, or emotional and physical changes
- Depression, self-harm, or talk about hurting yourself or others. If you or someone you know is in danger or has the potential to commit suicide, don't wait any longer. Get help right away. In Indonesia, you can call or report violence to the Indonesian Child Protection Commission, the National Commission for Child Protection, or the Hotline 500-454 of the Directorate of Mental Health Services, Ministry of Health of the Republic of Indonesia.
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Some of the signs that indicate that someone is committing acts of bullying include:
- Increased aggressiveness, both physically and verbally
- Involvement in fights, both physically and verbally
- Association with other people who also like to oppress others
- Involvement of the person concerned in problems with the authorities
- Inability to take responsibility for one's own actions, as well as blaming others for problems
- If you see any of these signs, talk to the person concerned. By letting others know that bullying is unacceptable and that you are there to help, victims of bullying can gain the courage to speak up.
Step 2. Identify who is most at risk of bullying
Some people or groups may have a higher risk of experiencing bullying than others. It is important that you pay attention to these people or groups and look for signs of bullying that they may be exhibiting.
- LGBT youth (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender)
- Teens with limitations
- Adolescents with special needs, both in terms of education and physical
- Perpetrators of bullying may also search for their victims based on a particular race, ethnicity, or religion
- When dealing with bullying of LGBT youth, youth with disabilities or special needs, or bullying based on a particular race, ethnicity or religion, you need to take some additional considerations into account when it comes to victims of bullying. Get information on how to deal with bullying in specific situations by visiting this link.
Step 3. Know when bullying occurs
Bullying often occurs in places where there is little or no supervision, such as on school buses, bathrooms, and so on.
- Take steps to check these places regularly so that bullies don't see them as places where they can attack others.
- If you're a parent, find out what sites or platforms your kids usually use. Get to know the platforms and devices your kids are using and ask for permission to befriend or follow them. If your child doesn't feel comfortable being friends with you online, make sure he knows that he can always talk to you about any problems or bullying he might face online.
Step 4. Talk about bullying
Discuss what bullying looks like and ways to deal with it in the home, classroom, office, and other places. Remind people that bullying is not acceptable behavior and there will be consequences for that behavior.
- If people can recognize the signs of bullying, they are likely to take action. Therefore, immediately discuss the suppression before it happens.
- Encourage others to talk to someone they trust if they are being bullied or know someone who is being bullied.
- Make rules regarding the safe and appropriate use of technology. Talk about the sites your child can and cannot visit, and when and where he or she can use technology products.
- Develop a safe plan of action to defend or protect yourself or others from bullying. Think about what you would say if you or someone else experienced bullying. Also think about your initial response to bullying, and how that response will change, depending on where you are.
Step 5. Model respect and kindness
Respond to others with respect and kindness, even when you are dealing with a bully. Other people watching you will know how you handle situations and learn from you. Responding to the bully in an aggressive manner will only exacerbate the situation and keep the pattern or 'circle' of bullying repeating.
Step 6. Develop a joint strategy or community strategy
Find other people who want to prevent and address bullying-related problems, and discuss prevention and response strategies with them.
- Try to work together to keep an eye on the places where bullying usually occurs, and watch for signs of bullying around you.
- Study your school or office's policy on bullying and encourage others to become familiar with the policy.
- Tell the other person what to do and who to report to if they are being bullied. In addition, encourage others to speak up and defend themselves if they have experienced bullying themselves or see others being bullied.
Tips
- In the United States, a 2012 report on school safety and crime indicators shows that children do not always report bullying they experience to their parents (only about 40% of incidents are reported). That's why it's important that you watch for signs of bullying in your child or others, and intervene to resolve bullying issues if needed.
- Create anti-bullying documents for children and parents to sign. Ask people to commit to creating an environment that is safe and free from bullying.
- Additional resources and information on how to be better trained in dealing with bullying can be found by visiting this link
Warning
- Contact a counselor or social worker if you notice signs of depression or anxiety in your child, such as decreased learning achievement, significant changes in normal behavior, or social isolation.
- Notify the police if someone is in danger or you feel someone has suicidal intentions or thoughts.
- Don't fight back against the bully and encourage your child not to fight back. Fighting back can actually cause more problems and, even, legal problems for the children involved.
