Being independent is an important skill for people who want to have more control over their lives and feel like they don't need other people to achieve their goals. Being more independent will give you the freedom to do what you want regardless of what other people think and will also lead you to find some solutions to your problems. Plus, studies show that people who are more independent are happier people! This is because we feel a sense of relief and joy when we can take our lives into our own hands. Want to know how to do it? Just follow these steps.
Step
Part 1 of 3: Independent Thinking
Step 1. Accept yourself
You can't build a strong independent personality if you can't live with yourself. Accept yourself, your personality, your opinions, your choices, your preferences, and your life story. Don't say things against your will. Everyone can be strong enough. Everyone has put themselves at something to prove their strength. Forget all your mistakes and learn from them. Strive to be better and most importantly love yourself.
This is an important part of being independent because accepting who you are will keep you from trying to act like someone else
Step 2. Believe in yourself
If you don't believe in yourself then who else will? We are all different and have something unique to say. No one can speak easily and not everyone will agree with what you have to say, that's why it's important for you to stand up for yourself, because in the end you are all you have and if you believe in yourself that's the most important thing. Believing in yourself will lead you to trust your own decisions – even when others are against – or even society – your expectations.
If you don't have faith in yourself, you won't be able to make decisions and then ask others for help every time you have to make a decision. Stay away from it
Step 3. Accept the world
Being independent doesn't mean you have to be arrogant and distrust others because it's very cruel. Independent people are those who are able to see the world for good or bad, and consciously choose to be the strongest for themselves and for others. You are not independent because you don't trust anyone. You are not independent because you think too highly of yourself. Follow this guide: Learn to accept the world, and decide to be strong.
Accepting the world and all its complications will also help you see that there are many ways to live out there - no one is forcing you to fulfill any of them
Step 4. Be emotionally independent
Chances are, you depend on a lot of people for emotional support. It may be your parents, your lover, a friend, or your closest best friend. While it is possible to continue to depend on people for the rest of your life, you must realize that they will not always be with you. Some will stay away, some will stop talking to you, and they will all eventually die. The only person who will always be with you is you. If you depend on yourself for support, you will never be disappointed.
It's okay to stay close to the closest people in your life, but you can't let these people determine your level of happiness. That's up to you
Step 5. Motivate yourself
Other people don't have and will never have an equal stake in your success. Motivation and success are functions of habit. You have to break the habit of procrastinating, and replace it with a good plan. The most successful people in the world are not always smart, or good observers, but no matter what talent or gift they have, they have based themselves on valuing victory over tasks both big and small. This is how you learn things at school, on dates, and everything else in life.
- If you want to achieve a career goal, it should aim to please yourself, not to please your family. If you want to get great value, then the same goes for it.
- Don't be motivated to lose weight, publish a book, or build a house just to impress others. Do it because you want to make yourself successful.
Step 6. Become your own hero
A role model can help inspire you and show you how to live your life. It's not a bad thing to admire someone and share with each other. But at the end of the day, it's very important to think of yourself as a role model in your own life, as someone who can do and say whatever he wants. Aim to be yourself, and be the best that you can be. If you can't look at yourself, you can't be independent.
Avoid idolizing friends or acquaintances in your social circle. It will only make you forget your own things
Step 7. Accept the fact that life isn't fair
Our parents care about us so much that they do everything they can to raise us in a just and kind environment. The real world does not work according to the principle which is the problem at the moment. The rules in the world usually protect either the majority (which you may not belong to) or the people with money and power. You will be treated badly for all sorts of unfair things: the color of your skin, your intelligence, your height, your weight, how much money you have, your opinion, your gender, and other things that define who you are. You should be happy to get away from it.
Don't let the injustices of the world make you do what you want to do. You want to be a nurse? A woman in the military? The first person in your family to graduate from college? Do it instead of convincing yourself that it is impossible in today's world
Step 8. Stop caring about what other people think
This is the most important thing about being an independent person. If you rely on other people to tell you if your song is good, or if your outfit is cute, you won't be very happy! As long as you like it - nothing else matters! Stop worrying about other people's judgments about your life, no matter if they think about your clothes, career choices, or other important choices. This is your decision, and no one else's.
If you always have intrusive thoughts like "But what will other people think if…" in your head, then you will always be confined within yourself from the things you have to do
Step 9. Don't just think you're the best; prove it to yourself
Your opinion is the most important thing for self-motivation, but you will know your limits in achieving your goals. It is much easier to start knowing your responsibilities, with very strong faith that you can handle the problem at hand because you already know your goal, than to try to achieve a goal in a hurry without good planning. Achieving goals passionately is fine, but not in such a violent way.
Step 10. Get the information for yourself
Watch and read the news and make sure you get it from various sources. Follow as often as you can and always have a purpose by analyzing before you make an opinion. You can also talk to people from different backgrounds to get more information on relevant topics, but don't let others dictate to you. Spend plenty of time reading, whether you're reading literature or The New York Times. Getting good information will make your mind more independent.
You don't want to be a person who doesn't believe in something just because your 50 closest friends on Facebook have convinced you
Part 2 of 3: Acting More Independently
Step 1. Keep the friendship solid
You don't have to distance yourself from your friends to be independent. In fact, independence is strengthened by having good friends. When your friend needs someone to talk to, stay with him. Be trustworthy. Don't gossip or tell anyone about your friends' secrets or private matters. Even if they don't say anything about it. Be a strong person for friends and loved ones. This will not only show that you are a good person, but it will also be a good experience when you are in the same situation as your friends have been.
Step 2. Become financially independent
This will be difficult because parents have a natural instinct to give us money. Try to politely decline when they offer financial assistance. This will keep you tempted to depend on others financially, but before you can have your own income, you must be able to manage your finances independently. Manage finances well. Living independently means you have to be able to manage your finances well. Pay your own bills, use your own car, sign your own loan check.
If you don't have the money of your own to meet your needs, try saving. Not only will you get financial freedom with your savings, but the money you have will give you financial freedom
Step 3. Don't be satisfied with the results you get
Always work hard in everything you do. Defend your opinion. And for you ladies, don't let a guy feel like he has to spoil you. If you can do something good, do it. As long as it doesn't have any bad effects, you should do it. That doesn't mean actually doing everything yourself, but you shouldn't assume that other people have to do what you can actually do yourself.
Do everything so well that people will say "That guy doesn't depend on anyone to do his job. What a strong and very independent person."
Step 4. Leave your family and friends when you feel ready
This is a very difficult step in achieving your goal of becoming an independent person, but you must still do it if you want to become an independent person. You don't have to ask other people for delivery when you want to go to a restaurant, because you can meet them there. Spend at least once or twice a week going shopping alone. Be a leader in your activities, not a follower.
If you're used to always having a friend with you when you're out and about, feel it when you're on your own
Step 5. Get rid of all the bad influences within you
Don't ruin a friendship unless absolutely necessary. Learn to keep your distance. Even if your friends are "really cool" people, they will only control you and throw you off the track to be independent. "Get rid of your friends"; some people will make you shine, while others will try to bring you down and waste all your energy. If you have a friend who forces you to do things that make you uncomfortable, whether it's stealing or being a bad person, then it's time to stay away from them.
Avoid friends who make you feel uncomfortable. These people only want you to do what they say and will make it difficult for you to become an independent person
Step 6. Save
Save as much money as you can. This will help you create an emergency fund, because life is unpredictable. You don't know when you will have an accident. Improve your quality of life by setting aside some money each month. There are things like accidents, health problems, or even natural disasters that can happen when you least expect them.
You may not think that you have the capacity to save money, but by doing small things like making your own coffee and not going to Starbucks, you can save more than IDR 300,000, - a week - that's more than IDR 15,000,000, - a year
Step 7. Create a bank account
Most banks offer financial management and savings accounts together, in one package. Some companies, institutions, and organizations will require you to have at least a checking account (some only pay employees via direct deposit). The money you earn and don't use you can keep in your savings until you are ready to live independently.
Having your own bank account will make you less dependent on others for financial matters, and will help you to avoid unnecessary expenses
Step 8. Start a career
It never hurts to try several careers until you find pleasure in one you like. If money makes you happy, you could try becoming a banker, investor or starting a small business. If you like children be a teacher. If you want to be an expert, you can become a lawyer, a professor or a consultant. If you enjoy talking to people, try becoming a salesperson or getting into the service industry. If you like equipment-related things, try becoming a technician, or becoming a psychologist.
Most students work outside of their field of study. Some people have no formal education and then become millionaires. Working in a career you enjoy is part of being an adult
Step 9. Find your interests
Stay true to what you love, be it sports, sex, playing music, playing in a band, performing arts/dance, or in religious matters. Something you do constantly that takes up a lot of your time. Playing games or Barbie dolls is not a good thing to do. (Including wasting your time on the internet).
Finding your interests will make your life feel more meaningful and will make you feel more aware of what you want out of your life
Step 10. Plan time to be alone
Many people always depend on others in their activities. Plan your day according to your own schedule - make a list of what you want to do, what you need to do and what should have been done. If a friend really needs help, help, but don't let that friend dominate your well-laid plans.
Doing that solitary activity is like you're on a date with Brad Pitt. That is, guard carefully and don't allow other people to distract you from spending time with yourself
Step 11. Say thank you to people who have helped you
You don't have to be a stubborn person to be independent. If someone has really helped you, say a sincere "thank you," write a card, or hug if they're a close friend. There's nothing wrong with admitting that you need help sometimes, and it won't make you any less independent to admit when you need someone else's help.
Step 12. Try not to follow trends
Just because someone wants to pay $60 for a shirt doesn't mean you have to do the same. Dress how you want, and say what you want to say. If you want to act crazy, go for it! Keep in mind that good taste and good style don't cost much – it's an innate habit, but you can get over it with a little learning.
Step 13. Spend time with people who have different views
Associating with people who share your goals will not inspire you on the road to independence. Befriending people who have different views and goals from yours will give you insight into what's out there and as a knowledge of the many ways to become a better person.
It can be refreshing to hang out with a lawyer if you're a yoga instructor, or spend time with a chef if you're a student. This can make you more open and more willing to do something completely new on your own
Part 3 of 3: Exploring the World More Independently
Step 1. Learn to drive or use public transportation
You will never be fully independent if you never learn to drive or achieve your own goals. How can you say that you are an independent person if you always depend on your boyfriend, best friend, or parents to drive you? (This is just an assumption, of course you are old enough to be able to drive yourself). If you live in the suburbs then you need a car to get around, do your best to get a driver's licence, and then go to work in your own car.
- If you're in a big city, don't insist on walking even when the weather is nice or waiting for a friend to give you a ride - learn to take the subway, bus, or train.
- Depending on someone else to drive you is just like waiting at home or waiting for someone else to decide your fate. You should be able to do whatever you want to do - whenever you want.
Step 2. Do the search yourself instead of asking someone else
Maybe you always call your dad to help with your finances, or maybe you call your mom every five minutes when you're planning a big party or wedding. Maybe you have a friend who is good at everything and then you always depend on him whenever you encounter difficulties at work, with your car, or when you are trying to fix your TV. Get in the habit of doing your own research before you contact these people if you want to become more independent.
It's actually a nice thing to have people who can help you, but next time you pick up your phone, ask yourself, can I find out this information myself? The answer will most likely be yes. Of course it will take longer, but by doing it yourself you will feel the benefits
Step 3. Learn to be a useful person around the house
Are you tired of calling a plumber, technician, painter, or even a friend you trust every time something goes wrong with your home? Learn how by watching videos, reading wikiHow, or reading mechanics magazines. If you have a good friend who is a carpenter, ask him to teach you some carpentry. Learning how to repair a room yourself will save you a lot of money and feel like you don't have to wait for someone else to make your life better.
And hey, learning how to fix a toilet yourself is so much better than waiting for someone else to fix it
Step 4. Cook yourself
Don't depend on Trader Joe's or the diner across the street to cook for you. You don't have to be a chef to understand the basics of cooking: how to stir-fry ingredients, how to use the oven, and how to cook simple dishes like pasta, potatoes, and salads. You can go to a supermarket or traditional market, to buy the main ingredients and then mix them together for a delicious dish that will make you feel like you can do anything yourself.
- If you later become a great chef, you can even invite others to enjoy the results of your cooking.
- Learning to cook will not only make you more independent, it will also help you to save more money, which is another key to becoming independent.
Step 5. Learn to balance your budget
Maybe your parents, spouse, or significant other have helped you to balance your budget, or maybe you haven't thought much about it and have spent a lot of money. Either way, you need to understand how much money you have to spend each month or week, and make a list of all the things you've spent so you can figure out what things you've bought for your evaluation.
Finding ways to save your own money will make you more independent because you will have more money to spend on whatever you like
Step 6. Don't rely on GPS for directions
Of course turning on GPS or maps on your phone can help you to get directions from one place to another. But what happens if your GPS suddenly doesn't work, your phone runs out of battery, or you're in an unavailable area? Are you just going to follow the existing path? Hope not. Before you go anywhere, determine your destination, where you need to go and print out the map you have created to direct you to your destination. But it's even better if you know exactly where your goal is so you don't always have to rely on your device..
If you are going on a long trip, then sure that GPS can come in handy. But make sure that you have a strong sense of the moment where you are detached from your device, so that you don't feel completely lost
Step 7. Get used to doing various things by yourself
If you are truly independent, then you don't need a friend to complete every little task or to do fun activities. Don't wait for a friend to try a new restaurant in your city or see a new movie in theaters. Treat yourself and go alone - if you go to the movies, you'll be impressed by how many other people enjoy movies alone too.
It's all a matter of attitude. If you look and feel like you're completely comfortable doing things by yourself, then you shouldn't think twice about doing it
Step 8. Do it slowly
Rome was not built in a day, and nothing is truly self-sufficient. This is not a guide to be done hard and fast. If you don't want to do something, don't do it. It's just here to tell you how to be independent, of course only if you want to.
