You're getting older, but haven't gotten what you want yet? Feeling like someone who doesn't know what to do and lets life flow aimlessly? Instead of blaming yourself for not meeting your responsibilities, take this feeling as a warning. Start making changes in your daily life to achieve the life you want.
Part 1 of 2: Finding Yourself
Step 1. Find your talent
If you feel that you lack self-confidence or are not independent, you may not have discovered and developed your talents. One of the things you must have in order to become a mature person is the ability to achieve independence. Try to find out your skills by doing various jobs or activities, such as volunteering at a hospital. After doing some activities, you will find out that you have a good ability to cooperate with other people or to solve difficult problems. Therefore, it would be very appropriate if you choose a people-oriented field of work.
Research shows that the happiest people are those who discover their natural talents and develop them. This is more important than choosing a job based on popularity or income
Step 2. Know that your life is unique
Everyone has a different way of life so as to form a unique personality. This fact is often overlooked by members of a demanding community or society and measures success by age. For example, in social life, people around you expect you to finish your education, get a job first, then get married. Or, you have to support other family members before marriage.
You will find it difficult to make decisions when social expectations conflict with what you want. Research shows that the happiest people are those who choose jobs not based on prestige
Step 3. Decide what you like best
Find activities, people, or things that make you feel very enthusiastic and happy. It makes you feel more independent and has the ability to go about your daily life. Instead of acting impulsively, think carefully about what makes you highly motivated and then take advantage of that ability.
For example, after learning that you love teaching, look for opportunities to take advantage of things that spark your passion, for example: teaching your classmates, teaching at school, or continuing your education to become a teacher
Step 4. Think about what makes you happy
Start by remembering happy situations and then write down the events in as much detail as possible. By making a list, you can find out why the experience made you feel happy or excited. Maybe you'll notice that you're with the same people at the time or because you enjoy taking on challenges. Try to figure out what you like because everyone likes different things.
For example, when making a to-do list, you might write: play a video game, play music, or paint. After making the list, you realize that you are very happy when doing activities with your hands
Step 5. Be an independent person
This message applies to young adults who are still dependent on their parents. There are various ways that you can take care of yourself and meet your needs. This means, you have to work in order to support yourself. If you're feeling lonely, make an appointment with friends.
- Don't expect other people to pay attention and fulfill your needs. Being an adult means realizing that you have to take responsibility for your own life.
- You will find it easier to make decisions and do them if you are able to support yourself.
Step 6. Make your own decisions
Before entering adulthood, it is usually someone else who will make the best decisions for you in any case. One way to become independent is to make your own decisions. Start with small things, such as choosing a course or where to eat. After that, learn to make bigger decisions for yourself.
For example, if your current job is not fun, make the decision to quit your job or find a new job. Or, if you don't feel like living with your parents or a roommate, find a new place to live
Part 2 of 2: Change Your Life
Step 1. Look for opportunities to develop your talents and interests
Once you know what makes your life exciting and fun, find a job or volunteer opportunity. For example, if you enjoy chatting with your grandparents, join a community that provides services to the elderly in some way. Or, if you really like playing video games, explore the possibility of becoming a computer programmer or video game maker.
Look for opportunities that are fun for the long term. Ask yourself what you want to achieve in the next five or ten years. After that, consider whether a particular job or volunteering can help you achieve that goal
Step 2. Take advantage of your interests to build relationships with other people
Finding yourself is an important aspect of becoming a mature person and building your own life, but don't forget to involve other people. Research shows that relationships formed because of common interests make a person able to carry out and develop their interests. Whatever your interests, there are many communities in your neighborhood or on the internet whose members share common interests. In fact, you can find job opportunities within the community to focus entirely on your interests.
For example, if making things out of wood keeps you motivated, find a group in your neighborhood that meets to hold a workshop on this skill. Plus, you can get hints to hone your skills and find opportunities to sell your work
Step 3. Watch yourself
Being a mature person means being able to take care of yourself. In addition to being able to respect yourself, you must also be able to meet your own emotional and physical needs. That way, you no longer rely too much on other people. For example, apply a healthy diet, maintain a healthy body, get enough rest, and establish a mutually respectful relationship.
Also learn how to control your urges and please yourself without disturbing others who want to be alone. For example, if you want to reconnect with a family member, but he refuses, try to understand what he wants without feeling disappointed
Step 4. Form a routine and make small changes
Make a daily schedule, even if it's just to do ordinary things, such as taking a shower every morning or preparing your own breakfast. Sudden big changes can sometimes overwhelm you. Start the plan with the things that are easiest for you to control, for example by rearranging your furniture, changing your hairstyle or dress style, or forming a new habit of walking around your house every day.
If you want to be more scheduled, take time to make a plan by writing down what activities you will do tomorrow and the respective deadlines. This method makes you feel able to control the changes that occur in your daily life
Step 5. Continue education
The right education can improve the quality of life in many areas so that you can earn more money, understand yourself better, develop your social life, and understand others better. While there are many learning opportunities with different levels of education, consider your interests, financial situation and abilities.
For example, maybe you want to take a marketing course, choose a 2-year program to earn a diploma, enter college to become an undergraduate, or pursue graduate studies
Step 6. Start a relationship
Whether you want to be in a loving relationship or make casual friends based on mutual respect, the relationships you have will enrich your life. Build relationships on the basis of communication that is full of openness, honesty, and dedication. However, building a meaningful relationship takes time and patience because sometimes you have to face misunderstandings or difficult situations. The ability to deal with these circumstances shows that you already have maturity in a relationship.
Communicate regularly with others. If you contact someone only when you need them, this kind of relationship doesn't make you any stronger and is of no use to that person
Step 7. Look for job opportunities or volunteer
Remember that in the end, you still have to support yourself. Look for a job that is challenging, fulfilling, and fun. In order to find a suitable job, you may have to explore several job opportunities. If you're not already looking for work, try to fill your time with useful activities, such as volunteering in a particular community.