Want to be a good friend, but don't know how? Want to make up with your old best friend and prove that you too can be a good friend if given a second chance? Whatever your reasons, this article will help you become a good friend.
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Method 1 of 5: Respect Yourself
Step 1. Be yourself
Being yourself is the key to friendship. You are you, and your friends need to be able to accept it. Hiding who you are will only cost you friendships, and constantly wearing a mask can be exhausting. Be friends with people who can accept you as you are, because changing yourself just to approach someone is certainly not good.
Don't harbor problems. If you feel uncomfortable, or have a problem with your friend, talk to the person directly about the problem. Your heartache will be heavier when your friendship is destroyed for no reason. Create a comfortable relationship, so that you and your friend can work things out together
Step 2. Be a friend to yourself first
Know how to respect yourself. If you can't respect yourself, you won't be able to respect others. Decide on the boundaries that are important to you, then stick to them. Besides being good for you, having boundaries will also train you not to violate other people's boundaries. Understand the values that are important to you, then stick to them. Look for people who share similar values, because if you make friends with people with different values, you will only hurt yourself, or even others.
- Close relationships with other people, whether friendship or love, teach us a lot about ourselves. Don't be afraid to learn things about yourself. If you don't like yourself, it will be difficult for others to like you.
- Don't judge yourself too harshly. Sometimes it's easy to set high standards for yourself, but keeping those standards is very difficult. If you are a perfectionist, learn to forgive yourself a little.
- Don't be afraid to be weak. Everyone must have been weak, so don't be shy to show that weakness to your friends. They won't care, and if they make fun of your weaknesses, they're not very good friends.
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If your friend points out your weaknesses and/or asks you to change to strengthen the friendship, don't immediately become defensive or feel bad. Your friends just want to help you become a better person, and you should feel grateful to have friends like them. In addition, if you improve yourself, you will be able to prevent your friendship from being damaged in the future.
However, if your friend is insulting your weakness, don't be afraid to ask them to stop. If they don't quit, you may want to reduce the time you spend with them
Method 2 of 5: Building Trust and Loyalty
Step 1. Maintain mutual trust
You might think it's hard to please friends, but it's really not! You just need to make sure that the trust between the two of you is maintained, especially about things that are really important. Don't try to cheat or take advantage of your friend, and make sure he knows he can trust you.
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Keep in mind that your best friend may also have other friends. Trust that you are really important in his eyes, and let him have another circle of friends. Friendship does not know the word jealousy.
To get rid of loneliness, have other friends too, so that when one of your friends can't accompany you or ends up being hostile towards you, you still have friends who can support you. It's good to know a lot of people, but only share your secret with your closest friends
- Don't keep secrets. Be open about things that are happening in your life, and what you hear about other people. If you don't want to talk about something, don't talk about it. If your friend still wants to know, say: "'Well, we're friends. If I wanted to tell him, you'd be the first to know. But now isn't the time for me to talk.
- Realize that you may get into a fight with a friend. However, remember that sometimes you have to make room for your best friend to think and be alone. Being a friend means understanding when your friend needs time for himself.
Step 2. Be a trusted person
If your best friend tells you a secret, don't share it, even with people you trust. Secrets must remain secrets.
- Distinguish between ordinary secrets and dangerous secrets. Dangerous secrets not only affect your friend's life, but yours can also be affected. Even if your friend doesn't want their secret to be leaked, you need to tell a parent or trusted adult if your friend tells you a dangerous secret. It's possible that he told you the secret because he secretly can't solve the problem on his own and needs help.
- Keep your promise. If you promise to do something, do what you promised to do. Talking is cheap, but proving your word can be difficult. Make sure you do what you promise.
- Don't talk about your best friend, and don't say anything that might turn out to be a rumour. For example, if your best friend likes someone, she may be embarrassed to tell others. Make sure your friends don't mind what you tell other people. This is sometimes difficult to do, but friendship still requires sacrifice.
Step 3. Be a loyal friend
Support your best friend when she needs help, but appreciate it when she tries to work things out on her own. Trust your friends, and let them know your weak points. Your friendship will be tested when you and your friends try to overcome problems, in difficult or happy.
- Say no to your best friend when you absolutely have to. Friends with high integrity are very valuable. Tell your friend's mistakes respectfully. Part of the journey of life is learning from mistakes, because life is not always perfect.
- If you don't learn to say no, your friendship may be badly affected. Your friend may become too dependent on you, and you may also feel tired and angry.
Step 4. When a dispute arises, try to compromise so that both parties are satisfied
Do not say harsh words, both verbal and written. Apologize, but understand that forgiveness takes time. Wait for your friend to calm down and talk to you on time.
- Never hang on to problems and assume problems don't exist. The problem will continue to haunt you, and will come back later. It's best to solve problems when they're small, rather than waiting for them to become big and painful.
- If you and your friend need help solving a problem, ask an adult or parent for help.
Step 5. Be there for your friend when she needs it
Help him when he has problems. He will definitely be happy. You never know when you need someone else when you're having a big problem.
Step 6. Defend your friend when he or she is being bullied or bullied
If your best friend is being bullied, and you fear getting hurt if you get involved, ask a teacher or parent for help. If you can stand up for your own best friend without getting hurt, make sure you do. Imagine if you were in your best friend's shoes; You would be happy to be defended, right?
If you and your friend often get into trouble with other people, try to think maturely. Don't tease the person you or a friend have a problem with, as this will only prolong the problem. Report the problem to an adult, or just ignore it. People hate being ignored, and in the end they don't want to get into trouble with you anymore
Method 3 of 5: Spending Time Together
Step 1. Spend time with friends, for example doing activities on the weekends, doing homework together, or chatting at school
You don't have to stick with friends, but make sure you spend quality time together to strengthen the friendship.
- Realize that spending time with friends means sacrificing time for yourself, and you may need to make an effort to do so. Make sure you want to spend time with your best friend, even if it's difficult.
- Invite other friends to spend time with you too. Having friends doesn't mean spending all your time with friends. Sometimes, you need to be alone, and sometimes, you need to invite other people in your circle of friends.
Step 2. Laugh together
Sages say that laughter unites people. Plus, best friends can usually laugh at the really stupid, weird, and petty things, and that's okay. Take time to laugh at the funny things in life.
Step 3. Learn to listen
Nobody likes people who talk all the time, but never listen. If you are chatty, try to develop your listening skills. Whenever your best friend is talking, listen, and say something to reassure her that you are listening. Don't just say "yes" and then ask him to continue the conversation. Don't interrupt your friend's speech, or move incoherently when your friend is talking to you. If your friend asks for advice, listen carefully to the request, then respond as best you can. In this way, you will be respected, and when your friend has a problem, he will turn to you for help.
- Be an active listener. This means that you need to be able to read between the lines of what your best friend is saying, even knowing how she is feeling or thinking before she says it. If you are an active listener, you can find out what your friend likes before they tell you.
- Know when to be quiet. Silence is golden. There is some truth to this; start to feel comfortable with just your best friend, without the constant feeling of having to chat to fill the void.
Method 4 of 5: Paying Attention to Each Other
Step 1. Watch your best friend
If your friend is upset, ask about the problem. He may not say it right away, but in the end he will. If he doesn't tell you about the problem, don't get upset right away, because some things are best kept secret. Trust that your best friend will be patient with you when you have a problem.
- If he's upset because of the person he likes, reassure him by saying that you're always there for him. Also say that there are still many people who are waiting for their true love, and that one day your best friend will also find the right "he".
- Remember that helping your best friend doesn't really require a lot of effort. It's not always easy to reassure or offer advice, but rest assured that your best friend will do the same when you need it.
- If your best friend is away from home, send a greeting card or package to show you care. If your friend is sick, call him and ask how he is. Let him know that you value his presence in your life. Write a greeting card to show you care, then ask how your friend is doing. Share your story, but make sure you hear the story.
Step 2. Get to know the family of friends
Family is an important part of life, although sometimes it can be annoying, disrespectful, and inconvenient. Getting to know your best friend's family shows that you value their family, and shows that you want to know about the people behind your best friend.
Method 5 of 5: Be a Realistic Friend
Step 1. Avoid expectations
If you think you know what a friend's job is, you can feel disappointed and frustrated. Friends are your best friends, but they can't support or help you all the time. Don't expect your best friend to always be by your side, or say what you want to hear. If you expect too high of a friend, you will feel disappointed or defeated.
- Take care of yourself. Again, you are your own best friend. If you can take care of yourself, you won't get caught in a situation where your best friend will help you. If you never need help from a friend, you won't be disappointed.
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Remember that no one is perfect, not even your best friend. Everyone has weaknesses, and everyone has to face those weaknesses. Don't insult your friend's weaknesses, but help them overcome them as they help you overcome yours. However, when helping your friend overcome their weaknesses, keep the friend's feelings in check, and focus on the weaknesses that threaten your friendship. Know the weaknesses you can ignore, and the weaknesses you can help work on.
Sometimes, you have to let your friend work things out on their own without your help, unless he asks for your help. Constant help may put pressure on your friend and make him angry, and he may not want to continue the friendship if you put pressure on him
Step 2. Sometimes, friendships will stretch
It's natural to lose compatibility with someone. If your friendship is strained for any reason, be grateful for the time you two spent together, and how lucky you are to have a friend like him.
- If neither party starts asking you to meet, or if you're fighting for no apparent reason, you may not be a good fit for that best friend. It is nobody's fault. Maybe the two of you are too similar, or maybe you just need to temporarily distance yourself for a few weeks.
- Respect your best friend, even after you walk away from her. Never feel angry, because anger is useless. If your friendship is strained, remain friendly, kind, and respectful. You don't know when the wheels are turning.
Step 3. Let your best friend have another friend
If your best friend prefers to spend time with their friends, try getting to know them too. You might be able to start a new group of friends! Everyone is always looking for new friends, but never leave old friends, because loyalty is something that everyone looks for and hopes for.
Tips
- Accept your friends as they are. Don't try to change your friends, and don't judge them.
- If your friend has recently had a problem, support them, and try to help them as much as you can.
- Never gossip about your friends. He will feel hurt, and may not trust you anymore.
- Never throw away a friendship, no matter how many things happen. Sometimes, friendships develop from problems.
- Be yourself in front of your friends and friends.
- Treat your friends like you treat yourself. Don't treat it above or below yourself!
- Try to always keep your promises. However, in the event of family problems, you may need to break your promise. If you have a good friend, he will understand why, but don't use it too often if you don't want to lose your friend's trust.
- Remember that friends are gifts. You have to stand up for him when he's in trouble, and ask what's going on with him. Don't say bad things just because he doesn't want to talk to you about his problems.
- Discuss a comfortable topic. Ask questions while he's talking, so he feels that you really care and are listening. However, don't dig too deep into the secret!
- Don't make your friends jealous. Be nice to each other, and your friendship will be safe.
