Winning arguments is fun. However, sometimes this condition is difficult to achieve due to various factors, such as when you have to deal with someone who is too intelligent and articulate, or when your argument is actually not quite right. Fortunately, there are various tips and strategies that can be used to stay on top of an argument, such as doubting the reputation of the other person and defending the wrong argument. As a result, you will still feel "win" even though you have the wrong argument!
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Method 1 of 3: Doubting the Reputation of the Interlocutor
Step 1. Deny source validity
If the other person offers evidence or statistical data to support his argument, do your best to either reject or deny it. For example, say that the results of the research he submitted are not credible because it has a limited number of respondents, or that the report that is used as evidence has not been verified. Try to get rid of as much of the evidence they present as possible to minimize the basis of the other person's argument.
If you wish, you can also accuse the organization or institution that accommodates the research of cultural or political bias
Step 2. Ask questions that can disturb the other person's thought process
Asking the other person a question will put the ball back in your hands, and may make it difficult for them to find the right answer. Use situations that didn't really happen to twist the argument in the other person's head, even if the chances of that situation happening are very small. Question the motivation and integrity of the interlocutor. Make him doubt his understanding and lose confidence in his own argument.
- An example of a question that could be asked: "What evidence do you have to prove that argument?"
- Ask presumptive questions like, “If all men had maternity leave, what would happen if people started having children just so they could take time off and still get paid afterward?”
Step 3. Demonstrate your authority
Share your knowledge and experience to confirm that you have a much more complete understanding than the other person on the topic being debated. Remember, your goal is to create "credibility" that can make the other person believe that your argument is true, even if they doubt it.
- Use any professional or social experience you have to back up the claim.
- Use anecdotes or stories about one-time events to support your claim, even if the credibility of the story in other situations is questionable.
- For example, you might say, "I've worked in major media for ten years. That's why I have a more complete and comprehensive perspective on this issue than most people."
Method 2 of 3: Defending False Arguments
Step 1. Learn the facts behind an argument
If you feel like debating a topic with someone, try to prepare ahead of time. For example, research various aspects and views in the form of statistics, reports, or even quotes surrounding the topic, and use these materials to support your argument. Remember, the more supporting facts you have, the smoother your path to winning debates will be.
- Find an argument or popular opinion that supports your argument, then try to imitate or at least match it.
- Research the views of the interlocutor to find out the various arguments that have the potential to be raised by him. Then, prepare material to counter these arguments.
Step 2. Revise the contentious concept
In fact, most debates involve ideas that are abstract, complex, and sometimes difficult to pin down for the people involved. If you feel that the other person is having difficulty explaining what he means, try changing the concept being debated so that it can be accepted more easily by the other person.
Generally, any subject of debate can be reorganized or redefined. Even if that's not the case, usually the subject of debate will still be defined by a concept that you can revamp
Step 3. Try manipulating the facts and statistics
Do some simple research to find out what common arguments are commonly used against yours, then look for research or reports that support those arguments. Once you've found it, think of ways you can use the same data to support your argument.
For example, you could blame the decline in academic standards in schools for the increasing average number of students who are less intelligent, even though the real cause has more to do with the lack of teaching staff in schools
Step 4. Don't touch the subject that is your weak point
Understand the arguments that can prove you wrong, as well as the questions that you will not be able to answer if the other person asks, then avoid the area.
- For example, if you've realized that your moral theory can be refuted by practical examples, give vague and general answers if you receive questions or attacks about the theory.
- Sometimes, constantly switching from objective and subjective mindsets can help you reach different conclusions, even if you know that there is only one mindset that will lead to the right conclusion. For example, if you are debating a subjective premise, present an objective point of view or argument. Meanwhile, if you realize that your argument is objectively wrong, convey to the other person that your opinion is subjective and in fact, there is no objective truth in the context of the events being discussed.
Step 5. Don't let your body and mind be ruled by emotions
Showing an emotional attitude in the middle of an argument will only cloud your clarity of thought, increase the intensity of the conflict, and leave an opening for the other person to weaken your argument. Therefore, try not to show emotion, such as by not shouting or raising your voice. Control yourself and be as calm as possible! Good emotional intelligence is very useful for tricking the other person and in many cases, getting the other person to give an emotional reaction, lo. If you manage to do it, surely you have mastered the ball of debate.
Whenever you feel angry, take a deep breath and use a positive imagination to relax your body and mind. For example, you can take a deep breath while counting down from 10, or keep saying a calming word in your mind, like "relax."
Step 6. Don't fly the white flag
Realizing that your argument is wrong? Don't show it at all to the other person so that he doesn't take advantage of that weak point or even exploit it! The best way to avoid these mistakes is to keep repeating your argument and not make statements that indicate that you are acknowledging the fault in it. Raise the white flag only when you know that your argument will not affect the outcome of the debate.
An example of a statement that shows your acknowledgment of disability in the argument: “The system implemented by prisons is not effective at minimizing the frequency of repeated crimes, but at least the system still functions as a punishment for criminals.”
Step 7. Change the topic of conversation
If you're starting to feel like you're losing ground in an argument, try attacking the other person by alluding to their negative behavior, to give the impression that your argument is "nothing" compared to their behavior. This strategy is best suited if the subject of your debate is personal. For example, think about a situation in the past that was similar to yours and the person you're talking to now, and then bring up a moment when the other person made the wrong choice at that time. Do this technique to shake the other person's argument!
For example, you could say, “You look angry when I kiss someone else. Is it because you did the same thing last year?"
Method 3 of 3: Compromising with the Interlocutor
Step 1. Be an active listener to the other person
In other words, listen to what the other person has to say without even trying to interrupt, argue, or judge his or her words. Pay close attention to what he's saying and respond lightly, such as saying, "Oh, I see," or "Okay." Mindfully, try to listen to all of his words in order to better understand his perspective.
- In addition, you can also paraphrase his words to show that you are really listening to him.
- Try saying, "So, you're angry because you came home from work tired but our house is still dirty?"
Step 2. Communicate your emotions
Explain how you feel to the other person regarding the situation. If you really feel the need to win an argument, explain the reasons behind that desire. Even if your argument is wrong, that doesn't mean the emotions or feelings that accompany it are invalid, do they? If someone hurts your feelings on purpose and sparks an argument, try explaining your feelings to clear up the situation.
Step 3. Change your behavior
Understand the reasons behind your desire to win an argument, even if your argument is clearly wrong. Instead of viewing the process of interaction and discussion as a door to victory, try to think of it as a space for compromise to improve the quality of your life and personal relationships. By doing so, it will be easier for you to accept a solution that is beneficial to both parties. After all, the satisfaction of winning an argument with a wrong argument is temporary. In other words, it will be much more meaningful if you are able to win an argument with an argument that you really believe in!
Try to find positivity in others. Instead of insisting on beating the other person, why not try to see the positivity in his personality and arguments?
Step 4. Admit your weakness
In order to come up with a solution that makes sense for both parties, understand the reasons behind your desire to win the debate. Most likely, you just don't want to accept the truth, or don't want to show weakness/powerlessness in front of the other person.
- In fact, being willing to compromise with the other person or admit that you were wrong will make you feel much better than when you "win" the wrong argument.
- If you realize that your argument is wrong, it's better to apologize than argue.
