Living life as a teenager can be difficult, especially with the hormonal fluctuations going on in your body. However, this does not necessarily mean that you cannot enjoy your teenage years. If you want to have a fun teenage years, there's a lot you can do (both big and small) to make a big difference in your life!
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Part 1 of 4: Setting Realistic Expectations
Step 1. Understand that there is no one particular way to be a “teen”, and there is no surefire way to enjoy your teenage years
Everyone is different, especially in the teenage years. Remember that there is no “sure way” to be a teenager, except your own way. Some teens prefer to spend time with friends, while others prefer to study and work. There are some teenagers who tend to be quiet, and some are more talkative and don't hesitate to stand out from the crowd. It would be wrong to say that there is one way (especially the most appropriate way) to enjoy your teenage years. Keep in mind that this article is just a guide and all the steps listed do not have to be followed.
What you find fun may be viewed differently by other people, and that's okay. Some things are generally liked by teenagers, but of course not all. Just because you grow up and turn 13, doesn't mean everything changes when you wake up
Step 2. Avoid the expectations reflected by the media, both good and bad expectations
Teenage life is not always easier or more difficult than other phases of life. Although adolescence is a time of great change, this does not necessarily mean that adolescence is the most difficult time of your life. If you are feeling overwhelmed and worried that this new phase of your life will be filled with drama, remember that in reality, this is just another phase of your life. Eventually, you'll get through it, just like when you made it through your childhood.
Keep in mind that the media often present inappropriate images of teenagers. Teenagers and their lives are often shown in television shows, films, and literary works in a narrow sense. Therefore, be careful not to make assumptions about teenagers based on what is shown on television channels, MTV, movies, and soap operas such as “Yang Still Minor” or “Street Children”. Such shows or films are usually just fictional stories that dramatize aspects of middle or high school life and may not match the reality you face. Also, be careful not to compare yourself to other people or the cast of teen drama/soap operas. Usually, the cast is in their 20s (even in their 30s), doesn't reflect the proper teenage model, is very talented, and doesn't always present something that fits the reality you're dealing with. The videos made by "real" teenagers uploaded on YouTube actually show a more realistic and accurate picture of teenagers than the images of teenagers in movies and television. Many teen films, especially old ones, are nostalgic spectacles for adults (eg “Gita Cinta dari SMA”). In addition, many of the shows shown on children's channels (eg Space Toon, Disney, and Nickelodeon) are designed especially for children
Step 3. Realize that every year in your teenage years isn't always the same
There is a gap of six years between the ages of 13 and 19. In each year, there will be many differences. Middle school life is certainly different from high school life, which is also different from early adult work life, college life, or even vocational school life. For example, a 13-year-old boy who is very tall and often acts awkwardly may grow up to be a confident 18-year-old boy who joins the student regiment activity unit.
Part 2 of 4: Developing Yourself
Step 1. Develop yourself by focusing more on your own thoughts and goals than on other people's opinions
For most people, the teenage years are a time of anxiety. However, stop thinking about those worries! Usually, this anxiety stems from what other people think (e.g. thoughts like “What if they don't like me later?” or “What if my mom gets mad because I don't want to major in medicine, like you want me to?”), and not your opinion. alone. Keep on living and doing what you want to do, without considering other people's opinions too much. If possible, you can dye your hair “crazy” colors, wear comfortable (even if not trendy) clothes, contact your crush, choose your own path in life, and ignore what other people think of your choices. In the end, what you live is your own life so live your life the way you want.
Of course there are certain limitations to this. For example, you may want to express your opinion and of course, you can say what is on your mind. However, do not let you offend others or start an argument in the wrong place. Some social rules, such as not hitting other people, are very important to follow. Try to study and the moments that require you to listen/follow the rules, and not your own mind
Step 2. Search and explore the things that interest you
When you were a kid, people always told you to find a hobby, and it's possible that you have at least some basic interest in some things to explore. You can take advantage of your interest. Think about whether you could choose something you want to practice and make you want to spend more time on it (e.g. playing a musical instrument), or explore a more specific area (e.g. switching from simple text writing to poetry or literature). Don't hesitate to try new things. It's never too late to find a new interest and who knows you might even find your passion!
- Try to "balance" your interests so that you have an interest in more diverse fields. For example, if your favorite hobby is programming computers, you might want to try a more art-oriented hobby, such as painting. You can also try learning a new language. Just because you really like or are good at technology or the arts, doesn't mean you can only be interested in those fields. It's boring if you have an interest in only one field.
- Explore your style and interests. Now is the time for you to experiment. Don't feel like you have to stick to just one thing. You can try and explore various fields, from fashion, hobbies, to music and movies. You also shouldn't feel constrained by traditions or labels that are widely trusted in society. If you like to dress like a rock fan, while you like country music, that's fine. Just do what you love.
Step 3. Get rid of any preconceived notions
Even if you feel that other people are not prejudiced against you, sometimes negative thoughts about certain groups can be embedded in your mind. Instilled prejudice against religious groups, races, sexual orientations (e.g. LGBT), and other groups can make it difficult for you to see the world clearly. No one resembles a certain stereotype. In addition, looking at some people with the "other group" in question makes you unable to know and understand other people as themselves.
On a smaller scale, stop thinking negatively about people who have had bad experiences in the past. They may not be as bad as you think, unless they have harmed you physically and/or mentally. If whatever you know about him comes from an outside source, and not from the person himself, you won't even be able to know the truth of it! You don't have to be close friends with him, but try to be polite and respectful. Besides that, there's nothing wrong with trying to be friendly to other people. Maybe he can surprise you and, as it turns out, is a different person than you imagined
Step 4. Improve your work ethic
The world of school is tough and requires you to study hard, but in your teens, school becomes more important. Your achievements in adolescence can determine the many opportunities that you can get in your later life as an adult. Take the time to study and strive to perform at your best in middle and high school. Instead of procrastinating, try to finish your work as soon as possible. Learn to prioritize, whether in school, work, or other extracurricular activities you participate in. Improve your study skills (and try to make study sessions more fun!). Even if it doesn't sound exciting, your efforts will be useful for your future. After all, some teens-and not just nerds-find this form of business as fun!
- You don't have to get perfect grades and take special classes (eg accelerated classes or university entrance exam preparation classes). However, at least try to do well in class and pass the subject you are taking. Don't be lazy because habits like this can lower your grades.
- Don't rush the task because you want to play and meet your friends soon. Try to work carefully so you can learn new things. During this time, we often forget that the presence of school allows a person to learn, not lock him up for a few hours a day.
Step 5. Don't rush to define yourself
Adolescence is a busy period and is filled with many changes. It is possible that you will experience a change in your interest in something. No aspect of you remains the same, even after you reach your late teens. You will continue to grow and develop as a human for the rest of your life. Therefore, there is no obligation to seek and determine who you really are at your current age. It's actually wrong for anyone to say that right now you have to choose a university or decide what to do for your future. Even if you think you've already decided what to do, don't be surprised if your plans change. You never know where your life will take you.
Part 3 of 4: Developing Relationships
Step 1. Try to improve your social skills
Some teenagers have difficulty in interacting socially, of course, with various reasons behind these difficulties. Since social interaction is an important aspect of success, it's important that you learn to deal with shyness and social anxiety. Try asking friends or family members your age to develop your social skills. This may not necessarily change your relationship with other people, but it can at least be a good exercise for developing your social skills.
Adolescents with autism and other mental disorders (eg, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or social anxiety disorder) may have marked difficulties in social interactions. If you have autism, try learning how to develop better social skills, read other people's body language, and understand allusions and sarcasm. It is important for you to learn how to interact in social circles in general. If you have attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder (or a similar disorder), you can learn not to interrupt other people and dominate conversations, focus on other people or the work at hand, and so on
Step 2. Be polite to people you don't know well
Every day, you will see strangers, both at school and in other public spaces. You may find it fun to make fun of people you don't know, but that's actually rude and the people you're making fun of will eventually figure out your attitude. In the future, you will work with people you don't know. Therefore, it is better for you to remain polite to strangers. If you can do that, you can also try to be friendly. Your attitude will be appreciated by those around you, even when you don't realize it.
If someone you don't know has had a "silly" moment that made other people laugh (e.g. accidentally dropping a book), don't join in the laughs. Instead, help him pick up his things if you have time. This is a kind of kindness that he will appreciate, even though he may not show it directly
Step 3. Have some close friends
You don't have to be the most popular and know everyone at school, but at least try to have some loyal friends to keep you company in your teens. Friendship can provide the right "space" to develop social skills. In addition, building close relationships with other people can help you determine what you want in your friendship and love relationship in the future. And the most important thing is that life will feel easier and brighter with the presence of friends. Make sure your friends can make you feel good about yourself and don't drag you into trouble. Of course you want to enjoy your teenage years, not have a hard time because of your "friends"!
- Find friends who can make you feel good about yourself and encourage you to be your best person.
- Hang out with friends you really like, and don't worry too much about your relationships with people who can't develop or improve the quality of your life. Friends will come and go, and you will have friends of varying numbers and personalities. It doesn't matter if you experience it. As cliché as it may sound, it's not how many friends you have that really matter; it's the quality of your friends that matters.
- If you're having trouble making friends, try looking in places where people like you visit a lot. For example, are you part of the LGBT group? Find out if there are LGBT youth groups in your city (or special alliances that protect and fight for the rights of LGBT people at your school/college). If you prefer writing to socializing, find a writers group in your city. If you have autism, try finding other people with autism to befriend.
- If you can't find friends in person, try using social media. However, be careful when looking for friends on the internet. Online friendships develop in a different way than real-world friendships. Many people in cyberspace do not reveal their real identities so you will never know what and who the real people you interact with are. Sometimes, you just don't talk or interact with humans. Therefore, you should be more careful when making friends online, and don't just agree to meet someone you meet on the internet in a closed environment. Don't give out personal information to people you meet on the internet, unless you're sure they can be trusted. It's a good idea to meet someone in the real world first before "making friends" with him on the internet.
Step 4. Don't rush into a relationship
Some (but not all) teens are interested in romantic relationships and want to find a boyfriend. If you are involved in a romantic relationship, go through the relationship without rushing and communicate everything with him. Both of these can build healthier relationships in the long run. You also shouldn't feel limited by your partner. Make sure that your relationship allows you both to have friends and interests of your own. Before you're ready, you don't need to rush to take a more serious step in the relationship.
- If your relationship ends, remember that this is not the end of everything. You may want to vow never to date again forever, especially if you're hurting a lot, but try to have an open mind. Everyone will develop and change. Your relationship that went well six months ago could turn into a very messy relationship. Also, keep in mind that there are some couples who stay in a relationship during or after high school, even if they have to be in a long distance relationship or are hindered by other factors.
- Beware of abusive relationships. If you feel anxious whenever you meet or with him, try not to get angry or hit you, or can't talk to other people comfortably without being accused of having an affair, these are important signs that you are in a relationship. unhealthy and you should leave it immediately. The same is true for "toxic" friendships.
Step 5. Maintain good relations with your family
Family members-especially your parents-may worry a lot about you as a teenager. Many teenagers become gloomy, introverted, and don't want to respect their family as much as they used to. Try not to be that person. Family is one of the important "connections" in your life. Family is the building block for all relationships that you live, whether friendship, love, or family that you will build in the future. In addition, your family members are people you see and meet every day. There's nothing wrong with being nice and spending time with your family, right?
- You don't have to get along very well with anyone in your family, but try to be nice and spend some time with them every now and then. Play video games with your sister, help your sister with her homework, take your mom for a walk, or play a board game with your dad. Don't stay in your room all day and only see your family at mealtime.
- Improve your relationship with your brother. It doesn't matter if you have experienced arguments or fights with your sibling, but remember that sibling relationships are usually the longest lasting relationships in your life. Siblings can also be supporters, mentors, and friends, both now and later when you are old.
- Beware of family members who are often violent. Your family may be one of the closest friends you have, but sometimes family can also have a negative impact on your life. If your parents are always putting you down, there's a good chance they're emotionally abusing you. If your brother beats you often, this is a sign of physical violence he has committed against you. Usually, you can reduce the hurt or improve the situation by talking to a friend or confronting a family member who is experiencing violence head-on. However, know when to report acts of violence against children.
- Keep yourself close to other family members, such as your cousin. Try to spend time with them if you can. You may not get to see them often so take the time you have to go out for a walk and spend time with your family!
Part 4 of 4: Helping Others
Step 1. Take part in volunteer activities
You may not be interested in volunteering or getting a job, and that's fine. Helping others is just a suggestion. However, many volunteers say that their work makes them feel better. Some jobs/activities even encourage self-development. Consider the advantages and disadvantages of volunteer work or activities, and use those considerations to help others.
Step 2. Don't think that you "can't help anyone"
You don't have to get a job as a teenager (even as long as you're under a certain age, it can be very difficult to get a job). However, that doesn't mean you can't help others. Try volunteering, doing odd jobs, or helping other people learn something they don't know. Help like this can benefit others. In addition, by looking for work or participating in volunteer activities, you will be helped when you later look for work after college because you already have valuable work experience..
Volunteer activities do not have to be done outdoors. If you have an internet network, you can volunteer on the internet. For example, you can edit wikiHow articles on your favorite topics
Step 3. Get a job based on your interests and talents
Are you interested in animals? Try volunteering at an animal shelter or collect supplies for a non-profit animal shelter in your city. Do you get along easily with other people? Look for work or volunteer activities that are oriented towards interaction with other people. Can you easily design complex web pages? Offer to help others design web designs. Consider your talents and interests and look for work that can be done based on these two aspects. It's definitely fun when you can work or volunteer while having fun!
Step 4. Try being a tutor for children
If you're academically gifted (e.g. you've always done well in school), find out if your school has a program that allows you to tutor children with learning difficulties. If not, ask families with young children or advertise your private tutoring service. Who knows you might get an interesting job opportunity!
- It doesn't matter when you have to turn down an offer to teach. If you can't teach your neighbor's child because he or she is too loud and distracting, or if you're not very good at the topic/field, you can politely decline the offer. Try saying, for example, “Sorry, I can't do that” or “I think your child is difficult to work with.”
- You can choose to teach for a fee or for free. If you want to make it a job, don't charge too much. There won't be many people hiring you if you charge a fee of 150k per hour!
Step 5. Join in fundraising or activities related to the cause you support
Some organizations usually hold certain activities as a form of fundraising for certain problems or things. For example, you can join a healthy walk to raise funds for research on cancer which, in turn, will be donated to cancer research groups. Several other activities aim to spread awareness about the disease or acceptance of persons with disabilities. You can participate in such activities.
Make sure you know the group that supports or holds the activity in question. Some groups are famous for their controversy. Do a careful search of the organization in question before participating in the event. Do not let you support something that actually causes more harm/harm than good
Step 6. Do things that make other people happy
You don't have to participate in a large volunteer organization to make a difference. Try to do simple things to make other people happy. You can compliment a friend's poem, tell someone they look cool, help someone pick up something when they drop it, hold the door for someone who has trouble carrying things, and so on. Simple things can actually make other people happy. Explore your surroundings and make the world a more beautiful place by brightening up other people's days!
Tips
- Traveling can be a great way to develop yourself! However, you don't have to do that in order to thrive, and it's okay if you can't travel.
- Don't try to be a “normal” person because in your teens, there is no such thing as a “normal” life. Everyone experiences development and tries to find their identity. It's time for you to experiment!
- Remember that not everyone enjoys their teenage years, and this is true. However, if you're not enjoying your teenage years, focus on being nice to others and getting through it. Just because you're having a bad time, doesn't mean you have to give up and be indifferent!
- Many teenagers have to face a lot of drama. Remember that the less you get involved in drama, the happier your teenage life will be.
- School doesn't always have to be boring. Try to try to enjoy your school days. During school, teenagers begin to grow up and take on new responsibilities. Therefore, keep doing your job, show good performance, and make lots of friends!
