The word "authentic" has become a new trend. Everything from genies to potato chips and historical tours has now been labeled "authentic," meaning authentic. However, there is something else behind the concept of authenticity. In our busy and false world, there is a lot of dishonesty, deception, and pseudo-perfection; we all try to live by images and ideals. In the process, we will then lose ourselves. However, know that you are actually still capable of being honest with those around you, and accepting all the carelessness, honesty, and authentic parts of yourself that make up your whole being.
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Method 1 of 3: Understanding Yourself
Step 1. Understand what authentic means
Psychologists define it as the manifestation of a person's true self in everyday life. Basically, this means that your core self is reflected in what you believe, say, and do every day. Honest people accept themselves as they are, with all their strengths and weaknesses. They behave in ways that are consistent with their values and avoid behavior that is inconsistent with those values. At its core, being authentic is about being genuine and honest.
- The first step to being candid begins when you actively try to be honest. This decision must be made consciously. You also have to commit to acting in line with who you are, even if this can be challenging and feel vulnerable at times. You may have to do things that are unpopular with others, or admit aspects of yourself that are less than ideal, but this is important because acknowledging what you value or don't value will lead you to live an open, honest, and more genuine life..
- Being genuine will benefit mental health. Research shows that authentic people feel better about themselves and are more likely to be persistent when faced with personal challenges, and are less at risk of self-harm, such as by abusing alcohol or engaging in other bad behaviors. Authentic people also tend to demonstrate more purpose in their choices, and are more focused on life goals and committed to achieving success.
Step 2. Develop a commitment to getting to know yourself better
The key to being real is self-awareness and knowledge. You should take the time to get to know yourself very deeply. Being real means you are living your own life, not someone else's. Usually, in life, especially when we are children, we absorb messages based on what other people say and do and then incorporate them into our own belief system. In the end, we then assume that these thoughts are our own thoughts. Self-awareness is useful for analyzing all of these beliefs and values and seeing which ones are truly a part of you, and which ones you incorporate simply because of other people.
- The advantage of being self-aware is that once you know your values, you can then take action to make sure the two go hand in hand. Here's how you can really act as you are. For example, if you believe in God, going to church every Sunday is a way of supporting this belief and an important one to you. However, if you don't believe it or don't believe it, you may stop going to church for a while trying to think about it.
- Realize that self-awareness is a constant effort, but not something you can completely master and then forget.
Step 3. Write to and about yourself
To get to know yourself better, reflect and write down all the things that are important to you and what really resonates within you. The process of selecting and writing words may help you clarify your inner values.
- Consider writing in a diary. A diary helps you to be more alert and provides a direct way to look back and reflect on the past. It can also help you to track patterns or trends in life.
- If you're having trouble keeping a diary and instead "writing in circles" on the big things, consider writing with a few tools, like "Things I Love" or "Who I Am Now." Turn on the timer for 10 minutes and write down one of the topics for the duration. This exercise helps you focus on what you want to find out about yourself.
- You could also try the practice of filling in sentences and sharing them with friends or keeping them to yourself: "If you really knew me, you'd know this: _". This exercise invites introspection and helps people recognize the values and components that are most important in them.
Step 4. Keep asking
Live a curious life and ask yourself questions to find the center of life. Take the focus off other people's views and desires for your life. These theoretical questions and situations can help you think about what's really important, while developing the answers and providing the motivation needed to get your life on the right track. These questions might be: If there was no money, what would you do in life? If your house caught fire, what three things would you save? What do you think could be missing from your life? What sets you apart from others?
- These questions can also be more direct. Try not to think too much and follow your intuition. For example, are you a patient person? An introvert or an extrovert? Are you responsible for your mistakes? Are you someone who says 'yes' or 'no?' Do you prefer morning or evening?
- Try re-examining some of the 'core ideas' you've had since childhood. Immersing yourself in different cultures, philosophies, and religious minds can help you make unique, sensible decisions about what is authentic for yourself.
Step 5. Evaluate your talk to yourself
Self-awareness means that you listen to yourself. Think not only about what you say and do in the world, but also what you say to yourself. How do you do it? What do you think? Do you often have a negative attitude and criticize yourself for not being smarter, beautiful, kinder, and so on? Or are you more generous with yourself and try to focus on the positive and forget about the mistakes? Analyzing how to talk to yourself internally will help you identify your feelings about yourself and your life path, because the inner world is your most authentic self.
Take a few minutes each day to sit quietly and listen to your inner voice. Try taking a few deep breaths and study your mind. Alternatively, you can also stand in front of a mirror and "confront" yourself by speaking out loud. Say everything you think aloud
Step 6. Take a personality test
While each individual is unique, psychologists who study personality also believe that there are several personality types that share common characteristics. Knowing your personality type can help you understand why you think, feel, and act the way you do.
- While there are many personality tests online and on social media, the best known is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), which identifies four psychological scales: Extrovert-Introvert, Instinct-Intuitive, Think-Feel, and Judge-Analyze. This test states that each person has a tendency to one side of each of the scales.
- You should remember that personality tests, while interesting and useful, cannot tell you who you really are. Keep in mind that some of these tests even have statistically low validity and confidence levels. Furthermore, self-identity is composed of more than four factors on personality tests. However, tests like these can give you an idea as you think and reflect on the results.
Step 7. Get to know your feelings better
Feelings and emotions are spontaneous reactions to life experiences and can provide useful information and input about ourselves and our place in the world. Not everyone likes to think about how they feel, but it's a useful exercise because it can tell you what you like and don't like, what makes you happy, sad, uncomfortable, anxious, etc. One thing you can try is to be more aware of your feelings to be able to reflect on the physical manifestations of your emotions. As an example:
- A strange feeling in the stomach may indicate anxiety or nervousness.
- A hot feeling on the face may indicate anger or embarrassment.
- Tightening your teeth or jaw may be a sign that you are sad, frustrated, or angry.
Step 8. Do something for and with yourself
Take a day off and hike the mountain alone. Eat in a restaurant alone. Or, travel alone. Some people find alone time to be the best way to learn about themselves. They learn about what they can and can't do, and what they want and don't want. These feelings usually arise from the experience of being alone and deeper into the self. Maybe, for example, you find that you really like to "get lost" in the city and prefer to wander around instead of following a tour schedule.
Sometimes, in the modern world, wanting to be alone can be weird. However, alone time has several advantages; You can build self-confidence, realize that you don't need other people's approval, learn to respect your own opinion (not just the opinion of others), and invite opportunities to reflect on recent changes and "rearrange the mental furniture" to adjust to ever-changing life. Time alone can also help you think about what you want out of life and provide a sense of usefulness and guidance that many people want
Method 2 of 3: Keep Acting As It Is
Step 1. Reset your values
Remember that being real is a constantly changing process. Life will continue to change, and so will its values. You're not the same person at 30 as you were at 15. As time goes on, you're more likely to suffer from cognitive dissonance, a psychological term that refers to the pressure or discomfort you hold on to beliefs that contradict your actions. So you have to keep learning about yourself, analyze your confidence and get rid of the irrelevant ones, and accept what's important in the present moment. Being what you are is a constant process of redefining yourself and the version of yourself you want to be in the future.
- Maybe, for example, when you are 13, you want to get married and have children by the time you turn 26 so that you can be a young mother. However, if you are now 30 and are not married or have children, you may need to re-evaluate your goals and confidence. Perhaps, you determine that education and career are the highest priorities, or you just haven't found the right partner. It is also possible that your beliefs have changed and you no longer believe in marriage. Reflecting on life and self (in terms of feelings and thoughts) can help in redefining beliefs and identities at different stages of life.
- Know that being real at any age is difficult if you don't know your inner wants, desires, needs, and values! You have to be willing to realize that things do change, and, most importantly, YOU change over time as well.
Step 2. Develop an open mind
Be open and open to new ideas and perspectives on things. Binary systems of thinking (good/bad) can trap you in a cycle of judgment and limit your ability to be yourself. Be grateful for life as a never-ending cycle of learning; as your opinions, ideas, and values change, so will who you are, inside and out, too.
- Being open can mean a variety of things, like reading a book or taking a study class for something you're not good at, or even a lesson you think you already know. This can help you to answer questions about the world as well as develop your own belief system.
- For example, many college students undergo a transformation of self-identity when they learn and encounter new things and are separated from their parents for the first time. Learning is one way to open your eyes and determine what suits you. Maybe you have a question about religion so take a class on different religions. Perhaps you want to know your position as a woman in the world, so you take an introductory class in women's studies.
- Remember that maintaining a sense of curiosity about the world is one way in which to keep yourself excited and energized about life.
Step 3. Let your past self go
It can be comforting to assume that life - and by extension our own selves - stays the same over time. Although there may be elements of your identity (such as being creative or an extrovert) that are consistent across time, there's also a lot that changes and that can be scary and unsettling.
For example, maybe as a child you were taught not to support same-sex marriage, but now you are experiencing conflict because your self-perception has changed as you grow as an adult. This is normal. Change is a good thing. Change can be transformative. Let go of the past and welcome the new you. Appreciate who you are right now and what feels right to you NOW. This may be scary, but here's how you can act as you are
Step 4. Cultivate courage
Being true to yourself also means that you are brave. Sometimes you are vulnerable to criticism from others if you live by your own principles and don't live up to their expectations of you. Furthermore, being introspective may lead to changes in your life that you should be prepared to welcome. For example, perhaps in the process of self-reflection, you realize that you are not happy in your current relationship and are spending too much time trying to be the perfect partner in order to do everything that is expected and right. You need strength and courage to resist social pressures and other people's reactions.
- Remember that you are always entitled to love and acceptance. You are who you are. If people can't love you because of that, they probably don't deserve it.
- Don't embarrass yourself. Being more aware means you also need to know that you are imperfect and have flaws. No one is perfect. You may be too happy to control or order other people. Instead of embarrass yourself, accept all these shortcomings and try to find ways to adapt and suppress them a little. Also consider how these weaknesses can be taken as positives in some situations; for example, your controlling nature means that you never finish an assignment or attend a meeting. Plus, because you have flaws, you'll be better able to empathize when other people make mistakes. All the different parts of yourself – including your weaknesses and so on – are the things that made you who you are today.
Method 3 of 3: Be True to Others
Step 1. Don't follow popular opinion
In too many situations, we often act like everyone else or do what they do just to fit in. This is especially true in high-pressure situations, such as a party with new people attending, or a meeting where you feel you must participate well. Usually, our desire to be socially accepted exceeds our desire to be ourselves. However, this way, you will find it difficult to act as is. The whole point of what you have to do is be yourself, and say and do things that show who you are as a person.
- Pretending to be someone or something you're not, just to fit in with someone else, will promote feelings of falsehood that you really want to combat. Also, be aware that most people find that they can have more close friends when they are themselves, and are more successful when they do the things they love. You'll also be more satisfied in your social and career circles when you put who you are into situations in life, not the other way around.
- Pressure from friends can be a very real dangerous phenomenon. Remember, there are a lot of bad things people do to themselves and others (from smoking to bullying or murder), simply because they care too much about what other people say and feel like their reputation will be damaged if they don't. Don't do anything you don't want to do. Remember that at the end of a day, you are the only one who has to live with yourself at all times. Listen and follow your soul's directions.
Step 2. Avoid surrounding yourself with toxic individuals
Toxic people are those people who masquerade as "friends" who pressure you to do things you don't want to do (like drink alcohol, make fun of others, or skip out on work) or who make you feel guilty or shameful for who you are.
For example, if you have a friend who likes to tease you for always wearing black and not dressing like 'a woman', this is not healthy for you. Friends should make you feel positive about yourself and be able to bring out the best version of yourself, not discourage you from not supporting you
Step 3. You need to be able to say 'no' – and sometimes 'yes' – to other people
When you don't want to do something that other people expect because it goes against your values, you have to be ready to stand up for your principles. We all have a natural tendency to please others, so you have to be brave enough to say 'no'. While you may feel awkward at first and a little nervous, you'll eventually get used to being the way you are.
At the same time, sometimes you have to say 'yes' when someone invites you to try something new or unexpected. It also takes courage, because we all tend to be afraid of letting others down. For example, maybe friends invite you to try Ethiopian food or go kayaking on the weekends – accept their invitation! Being true to yourself also means trying new things and learning about yourself in various ways, even if you may fail at doing so. Humans have to be like that
Step 4. Know that you don't have to prove anything to anyone
Everyone wants to be recognized by others. We want others to feel proud of who we are, and connected. But you don't have to prove anything, you don't have to show the people around you or the world in general that you're a good person who does good things too. In line with this principle, you don't have to hide your flaws as a human being. Know that if you are sometimes late, chances are someone else has too. Being true to yourself means that you not only accept your own strengths and weaknesses, but also allow others to see them. Trust that if you can forgive and accept yourself, others will follow you.
Pretending to be someone else to please others is exhausting. Just be real and people will probably take and support you more seriously, because they see that you're just like them – a normal human being who sometimes makes mistakes, but can also do great things and is talented. For example, you may tend to arrive late, but always finish work before leaving the office
Step 5. Be a good communicator
Think about how you communicate with others and what and how you speak. Be honest with your thoughts and opinions, but remember that you can be honest without belittling other people's thoughts and opinions, especially in situations where you don't agree. Remember that what we want to say will only be useful and constructive if we can express it maturely and well. Usually, it's better to use "I" statements that focus on your values and actions, rather than emphasizing the other person, because "you" statements are usually considered accusatory.
- For example, if you are a committed vegetarian, share your beliefs without calling your fellow meat-eaters "cruel killers." Instead of doing it, tell them why YOU became a vegetarian, without judging their choice of meat. Being straightforward means you're honest with yourself, but it doesn't mean you don't value other people's versions of authenticity.
- Always, remember to always think before you speak. These rules are good for living in general, but are especially useful in touching or complicated situations.
Step 6. Tell someone about your commitment to being candid
Find someone close to you, and you love and trust, to help with this process. He or she may be a spouse, family member, or close friend. Whenever you find yourself in a vulnerable situation, for example at a work meeting with a cranky boss, reach out to these social advocates to increase your confidence and avoid the traps of falsehood.
When you feel anxious, call the person and let them know how you feel. For example, you could admit that you actually prepared what the boss wanted to hear instead of what you actually wanted to say or do. Telling someone you're on the wrong track can help you stay aware of your behavior and adjust it as needed, so you can stay on the path of honesty and authenticity. In many cases, supportive people will ask you to "be yourself" when faced with difficult situations. They are right. Listen to their advice
Step 7. Develop a routine or sing an uplifting song
There are many social situations that make us anxious and feel compelled to keep promises to ourselves. For moments like these, when you're not sure when you're confronted by other people or the world, like going to a party or wedding full of strangers, starting school or working in a new place, encourage yourself to feel good. Write down some self-defining keywords and repeat them – or even shout them out! Read one of your favorite inspirational poems aloud. Create a playlist of some of your favorite songs that can support your efforts to be yourself.
Whatever you choose, make sure it helps you to be real. Finding this focus will remind you of who you really are, and what is important to you
Step 8. Accept the authenticity of others
Remember to treat them the way you want to be treated. What is real to one person will be very different to another. You must not impose values or judgments; each of us is different. This is normal – in fact, it is what makes your business fun and dynamic!
