Nervousness arises as a primitive response from the body to face danger or threats in order to save oneself. The large amounts of chemicals and energy released from this response cause a number of uncomfortable changes in the body. Of course, a controlled level of anxiety can be beneficial, sharpening focus and improving performance through increased enthusiasm and enthusiasm. However, too much uncontrollable nervousness can negatively affect performance and opportunities for positive risk taking later on. You can learn to cope with these bodily changes and manage the thoughts that accompany them so that you feel in control of a stressful situation.
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Method 1 of 3: Preparing for Stressful Situations
Step 1. Measure your nervousness
To find out what you should do to help yourself through nervousness, look at the symptoms. This way you can focus on the calming ways that work best for you. Common symptoms include:
- Sweating
- dry mouth
- Shaky
- Heartburn
- Difficulty concentrating
- Stuttering/vibrating voice
- Very fast heart rate
- Dizzy
- Short breath
- Nail biting/finger playing
- Defensive body language (such as crossing arms and legs)
Step 2. Practice beforehand
Like everything else, we improve our self-confidence and abilities with more practice. Try to imagine what it's like to face whatever makes you nervous. See yourself meeting those goals successfully and confidently in this situation. Don't try to plan everything into too much detail (otherwise you'll end up sticking to it too much). While the nervousness may not go away completely, the duration of the nervousness during the event will decrease rapidly as the experience increases.
Step 3. Breathe
Try to learn some techniques for deep, calming breaths. These techniques will help you prepare for the moment and can even be used when you're feeling really nervous. Whether you have a tendency to take short, controlled breaths, or are breathing too fast, deep breathing will help you breathe more efficiently. This way, your body will receive more than what it needs to get through the most energy-draining moment. In addition, relaxed breathing will calm your highly stimulated autonomic nervous system.
Step 4. Turn anxious thoughts into positive statements
Nervousness is simply the result of our adrenaline pumping out of energy. Therefore, when we feel nervous our mind is busy thinking about lots of ideas that match the stress intensity of our feelings, for example: "I can't do this." or "I'm not worthy enough." While you may not be able to stop the rush of thoughts, you can replace them with affirmations. Affirmations are positive descriptions of your abilities, written in the first person. The following are some examples of affirmative statements that you can use to dispel negative thoughts and dispel your beliefs about them:
- “I am the best candidate for this job”.
- “I am very qualified to deliver this job and I will do it.”
- "I can handle this."
- "They want me to do well in this exam and I will."
Step 5. Use visualization techniques
Imagine yourself not only successfully completing a task, but also doing it as successfully as possible at an event that made you feel nervous. Feel yourself determined and confident, and concentrate on the small details that are happening around you. Imagine a whole series of scenes of success and feel the sense of success flowing through them. This technique is often used by athletes and has proven to be very powerful in increasing self-confidence while competing.
For example, if you're nervous about talking to someone you have a crush on, imagine yourself opening up a funny and exciting conversation that makes everyone laugh and your crush sees you from a new perspective
Step 6. Accept yourself and your skill level
In order to concentrate on what you are doing instead of feeling embarrassed, you have to accept your skill level. If public speaking isn't your best skill, don't judge yourself for some mistakes or failures. Realistic expectations based on your skill level also make it easier for you to get rid of the self-judgment that is usually caused by nervousness.
- Determine what you expect, and what the bonuses are. You may have expectations beyond what is really needed. For example, you may only need a C to pass a calculus course. An A is certainly better, but remember, all you need is a C!
- As another example, if public speaking isn't your forte, don't burden yourself with some of your mistakes or losses. Realistic expectations based on your skill level will make it easier for you to reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed that triggers nervousness.
- Accepting your skill level means facing your strengths and weaknesses honestly so you can form achievable expectations. Learn more about developing self-acceptance here.
Step 7. Accept your nervousness
When you're trying not to be nervous, accepting and opening up to those feelings may sound like a no-brainer. However, suppressing your natural sense of self will only make things worse.
- Allow yourself to feel uneasy, but realize that even if you feel that way, it doesn't mean you can't do something.
- Accept that feeling nervous is natural in certain situations…just like feeling happy, sad, or angry. So instead of running away from the feeling, just allow yourself to feel it, but don't overwhelm you.
- Feeling nervous is a sign that you care. If you care, chances are you can do better than those who don't.
Method 2 of 3: Managing Nervousness on the Spot
Step 1. Start off well
Make extra clear and strong preparations to provide a solid foundation to guide you through the task to completion. For example, if you are interviewing for a job, start with a friendly word to appreciate some aspect of the company.
Step 2. Shift the focus from yourself to the content
People who are prone to nervousness usually think more about themselves than about whatever they are trying to do. Nervousness can be multiplied when you take the cause of the nervousness (an interview, exam, etc.) overestimating your personality and potential. Try to replace thoughts about how you look and what other people think of you with exercises for the main point of the task at hand. This might be material that will be on an exam, or lines from a piece of music you will be playing.
Step 3. Watch yourself
Facial expressions, gestures, and intonation are all signs of whether you're feeling nervous or not. When you become aware of these details about how you present yourself, you can create the space needed to adjust to postures and movements that show more confidence. By changing these parts of your appearance, you teach yourself to "act as if" you are not nervous. When your body changes, your mind will naturally follow.
Some nervous body language you may need to change include fidgeting, slouching, defensive posture, little or no eye contact, and rubbing your face and neck
Step 4. Take it easy
Going through anything that makes you nervous in a hurry will only confuse the other person, and show how nervous you are. If the situation requires you to speak (and usually does) don't forget to speak in a low, slow voice. Slowing down your speech will allow you to understand it more clearly, and lowering your voice a little will reduce the chances of you breaking out or making nervous squeaks.
Step 5. Keep looking at the situation from the bright side
Remember not to worry about the little things. Most of what we worry about never happens, and things that do happen are often not as bad as we anticipated. Try to focus on the grand scheme of things-whether a small mistake or failure will matter, even if it's still a long time in the future.
For example, if you're nervous about having to give a presentation in front of an audience, remind yourself that mispronunciations or having to use cue cards will likely not be remembered by them at the end of the presentation. What's more, even if the presentation does fail, one presentation doesn't define your self-worth-it's just one event
Method 3 of 3: Making Long-Term Changes
Step 1. Allow yourself to really feel your nervousness
If you feel nervous frequently, try to slow down and allow yourself to feel your entire nervousness without a fight. Don't put a time limit - instead just let your nervous feelings reign for as long as they last. You will feel miserable for a moment, and then suddenly the nervousness will subside. This step is an important exercise in teaching yourself that nervousness is not a long-term threat (as we often see it).
Step 2. Break the habit of being nervous
Do you move restlessly or do you always wiggle your feet when sitting? Make an effort to notice or ask someone to show you your behavior and body language when you are nervous. You can stop performing these behaviors on purpose, monitor and change them as they occur, or by giving yourself small punishments when you do such as snapping a rubber band around your wrist. Doing so will calm the anxiety that these behaviors cause, and change the way people respond to you.
Step 3. Let go of your perfectionism
Often nervousness is accompanied by exaggerating your imperfections, ignoring everything that has gone well and judging your own faults harshly. Even if you make mistakes, take it easy because everyone makes mistakes. What's more, there's nothing more admirable than gracefully correcting mistakes and getting on with your work.
Step 4. Go for a jog
Maintaining an active lifestyle is essential for a healthy body and mind. Jogging or other aerobic activities will help burn off the adrenaline and nervous symptoms that these hormones produce. Regular exercise will keep you calmer from day to day, reduce stress and pressure, and increase energy. You can think of exercise as a preventative measure to deal with moments of intense stress.
Step 5. Set your bedtime
Even with distractions from your anxiety, try to get seven to eight hours of sleep each night. Fatigue coupled with sleep deprivation will threaten your ability to deal with stressful situations, and you may find yourself feeling depressed and unable to focus. Good sleep reduces overall anxiety, just as it is important to get quality sleep before facing the situation you fear.
Step 6. Learn relaxation exercises
Instead of trying to relax by watching television or surfing the internet, try deep relaxation exercises that have a physical effect on the mind. For example, deep breathing relaxes the large nerve that runs from the diaphragm to the brain, sending messages throughout the body to relax. These exercises are quite helpful in preparation for a variety of really nervous situations. The following are popular methods for maintaining a relaxed lifestyle:
- Mantra Meditation
- Deep Breathing
- Progressive Muscle Relaxation
- Yoga
Step 7. Start writing a journal
When your brain is afraid that it won't be able to remember something, it will repeat it again and again. Your mind can generate various nervous thoughts by drawing your focus on the worry or fear more than it should. By writing down your thoughts, especially those that repeat themselves frequently, you relieve yourself of the responsibility to keep them fresh in your mind. A journal can act like a trash can for thoughts you feel you don't need to keep anymore, such as self-deprecating beliefs and judgments.
Step 8. Connect with other people
Having a strong support system that you don't hesitate to use can do more than just distract from your nervousness. By talking about your feelings, you may find that people can't tell you're as nervous as you think you are. Also, remembering that other people are also feeling restless can help. This means that they also reasonably expect that nervousness will play a role, especially in situations that we consider valuable and deserve our full attention.
