Life should not be lived with sorrow. You have a right to feel depressed, but there are actually a lot of good things in life that you can do. You can do great and meaningful things for yourself and those around you. Indeed, just lying around and doing nothing but eating, drinking, going to the toilet and so on is much easier than doing anything else; but is that the best way to be grateful for the blessings life has given you? Realize that every day is a new opportunity to make yourself happy. You can feel happier by following the steps below.
Step
Method 1 of 4: Realizing the Positives in Your Life
Step 1. Focus your attention on the positive
Life is hard sometimes, and when life is tough, you will feel that everything is falling apart. This is called overgeneralization: you infer something general from a specific event. People often generalize because people generally have a negative view of the world. The fact is: in your life there is a lot of positive.
- If there is a roof over your head and there is food in front of you, you are in much better shape than many people in this world.
- If you have family and friends who care about you, that's something to be grateful for!
- If you have a job and a salary, you should also be grateful for that, even though your job may not be the job you've always dreamed of.
Step 2. List all the positives in your life
Both small and big. If you don't know what positive things are in your life, perhaps you can start by being grateful and list the things below:
- Work
- Clothing
- Food
- Board
- Beloved
- Vehicle
- Health
Step 3. Keep a diary of the good things in your life
You will have a positive impact from keeping track of your daily life. By keeping track of all the good things in your life, it will be easier for you to remember the good things. You will then feel happier because you can see that not everything in life is bad.
- Write down a little each day. That way, you'll be able to reopen those notes and see all the good things that happen in life.
- Keep a diary of the things you are proud of. Also, if you want, keep a diary for the negative events and things in your life. If you don't know what to write, try some of these topics: Things I Love About Me, Basic Needs I Have Right Now, Things I'm Thankful for Today, and Valuable Friends in My Life.
Step 4. Ask a friend for help
A friend will help you when you are having troubles in life. They will remind you of anything that makes you great in their eyes. Remember that they want to be your friend; You are special in their eyes. To keep your attention on the positive, ask your friend to point out all the positive things you have. What he shows you can write in your diary.
- Take a friend to lunch and "talk" to this friend about your sadness.
- Invite your friends over to play with you.
- Call a friend to share your current life.
Step 5. Do what you love
When you're sad you may be lazy to do anything, but actually you will have a positive impact if you stay active when you are sad.
- Go for a walk with friends.
- Soak in warm water.
- Brew hot chocolate. Hot drinks can calm you down. Cool down with a warm and delicious drink. Maybe you will feel better.
- Play with pets. Spend time with your pets. Research shows that petting your pet can make you happy. Your stress level and blood pressure will decrease.
- Take up a hobby that you enjoy. You may not feel like it because you're feeling sad, but if you start with force, your feelings may gradually change. Your hobby is something you enjoy. Use your hobbies to help you when you're sad.
- Find a new hobby. If you're not interested in any of your current hobbies, you may need to find a new one.
- Listen to music. People who are sad tend to listen to sad music. Avoid sad music because you will only feel sadder. Research shows that pleasant music can make you feel happier.
Method 2 of 4: Controlling the Situation
Step 1. Know what you can control
Take a few minutes to reflect on your current situation and what you can control. While you may not be able to control the biggest things that make you sad, you can control the smaller things that contribute to your sadness. This way, you will be better able to control your feelings.
- You may not be able to control where you move to, but you can control what you do in that new location.
- You may not be able to lose weight, but you can manage your diet properly and exercise more often to be healthier.
- You may not be able to get back together with your ex, but you can look at old photos or letters.
Step 2. Get into action
People tend to freeze themselves in grief. Too restless, they didn't know what to say or how to act. If you're like this, remember that your feelings won't improve if you just sit still and do nothing. Get into action. Make a plan so that whatever you do is effective.
- You may not be able to decide where to move, but you can make your move something fun, for example by making new friends at your destination.
- If, for example, you feel like you're going to miss your current friends, find out what transportation and accommodation costs are to your current city and when you can take a day off from work.
Step 3. Change your perception
By changing your perception, you also change the situation. This way, you have more control over the situation you are in right now. Consider the situation you are in right now with a new way of thinking. Look at it positively and not negatively.
- Maybe you couldn't afford a new car, but now you still have a car that can take you to work every day.
- Maybe you just broke up with your boyfriend, but you don't have to deal with the fights that used to happen all the time.
- You may not be able to see your children right now, but soon you will.
Step 4. Pay attention to what life is teaching you
Everything in life can be a lesson for you. Step outside a little, look at the bigger picture, then find out what you can learn from this experience. If you have a learner mindset, believing that you can learn from all your experiences, you will feel more in control because you will become a wiser person.
Method 3 of 4: Increase Physical Activity
Step 1. Exercise more often
Exercise releases endorphins that can make you feel happy. You will also feel happier if your heart beats faster and your blood circulation increases. Here are some exercises you can do:
- Run outside. By running, your heart rate will increase and you will absorb vitamin D which can make you feel happier.
- Weightlifting. In addition to heart exercises such as running, also do sports that are beneficial for your body's metabolism such as lifting weights.
- Take an exercise class. You will be able to learn how to move that makes your body flexible and strong.
Step 2. Take up a sport
You can channel your angry feelings through exercise. This will make you feel happier too, especially if you are not only sad but also angry.
- Futsal is a good sport.
- You can also play baseball. You will need to hit the ball as hard as possible and release the tension in your body.
- Tennis also has the same effect as baseball, only you need extra precision when hitting the tennis ball.
- Soccer can be a good release because you have to run as fast as you can and kick the ball as hard as you can.
Step 3. Go for a walk
Thus, you rest your body and mind from the bad things that you experience. You will also get a new perspective.
- Take your dog for a walk. Traveling is more fun with pets.
- Ask your friend to go for a walk. You can reconnect with your friends.
- Pay attention to the natural beauty around you. In this way, you will be more grateful for the world around you and feel happier.
- Park further away from your destination so you need to walk further.
- If possible, take the stairs.
- Wear a step counter to see how many steps you took today. You can also set a goal step count.
- Watch a video about walking. For example, watch this video walking with Leslie Santone.
Method 4 of 4: Pushing Yourself
Step 1. Change the conscience you use for yourself
Your inner voice can have a significant impact on how you feel, both positive and negative. Many people are not aware that their conscience is negative and they become depressed because of it. Maybe you are experiencing it right now. Change your heart.
- Say that you deserve to be happy. Humans are very easy to feel guilty. In fact, everyone must have made mistakes. Tell yourself that you have done a lot of good things, and that you deserve to be happy.
- Look in the mirror, smile, and remind yourself of the things you are proud of in life. Everyone's pride is different, of course. For example, you can remind yourself that you are someone who always celebrates a friend's birthday well. Even if you feel unhappy right now, you need to consider yourself happy. Research shows that people who force a smile actually feel happier. You can also change how you feel by telling yourself that you are a great person.
- Remind yourself that you did your best. You can't do anything better than what you're capable of. Remind yourself of this by saying: "I did the best I could." That way, you won't feel so stressed.
- Change your conscience, from statements using the word "you"/"you" to statements using the word "I". Instead of saying "You need to exercise more!", say "I will exercise more."
Step 2. List what you are proud of about yourself
You can clearly see what things you are proud of and whenever you feel sad, you can remind yourself that not everything in your life is bad.
- Also list your short-term and long-term goals. Affirm to yourself that you will achieve all of these goals. Think of several ways to reach that goal.
- Remind yourself of all the achievements you have achieved so far. Smile and pat yourself on the back for every achievement.
Step 3. Allow yourself to be indifferent
If you care too much, you will feel too stressed. Allow yourself to be less concerned. In this way, you will release some of the pressure you are experiencing. You are kind to yourself. This will be more effective if you continue to affirm good things about yourself.
- Say that your office will be fine without you for five days. You've taken care of everything from the start and colleagues will appreciate your efforts.
- Say that you have done everything you need to do to save your relationship with your ex. Romantic relationships require cooperation between two people and you can't force the second person.
- You don't necessarily do something bad even if someone is angry with you. Maybe that person has other problems about himself that are completely unrelated to you. Tell yourself that to release some of the pressure you're feeling.
Tips
- Start with one of the steps above, then see if it works for your grief. You may need to try several before finding one that works for you.
- Some of the things above may be difficult to do if you are feeling sad. Be kind to yourself. Do what you can with the available resources.
Warning
- If within a few days you do not feel better, contact a psychologist.
- Before starting to exercise, consult a doctor.
