Sometimes, one cannot avoid sadness. These feelings are very human and usually arise as a reaction to certain life changes and experiences. The good news is that everyone has the ability to make themselves happy and there are ways you can develop this ability. Read this article if you want to learn more and feel happy.
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Method 1 of 4: Finding Happiness Within
Step 1. Write down your feelings
Prepare a notebook that you can use specifically as a journal to record your thoughts and feelings. Often, you will find it easier to accept your sadness by keeping a note of how you are feeling. In this way, you will be able to feel harmony and make you better able to understand yourself.
- Keeping a journal-even if it's just 20 minutes a day-is a way of clearing and controlling your thoughts about sadness to find out why. You can also find patterns of behavior and emotions by keeping a journal. What's more, research has shown that journaling is a stress-reducing method that can improve physical health and the immune system.
- When journaling, focus on what you are writing, not how you are writing. So don't worry about grammar or spelling of words. Start writing a journal like: "Today feels really tiring because the anxiety about my divorce can't go away either. Sometimes, I doubt whether I should continue to grieve because my marriage ark has run aground, even though I only got divorced a year ago. I realize this, but I I'm worried that I will continue to be carried away by past experiences and that my children will suffer because of this problem. I am also angry with myself for not being able to shake off the sadness. Many people are going through divorce. Why do I have to be sad? It was such a relief after talking to my sister that time. I'd better call him. I know, things can change at any time ".
Step 2. Be a person who is easy to laugh and smile
Research shows that smiling can improve your mood and make you feel happy. In addition, when you laugh, your brain will release endorphins, chemicals that can improve mood.
- While you may not like to laugh, you will be happier by activating the small muscles in your face that work when you laugh and smile. While it may be forced at first, try to fake it because laughter and smiles can trigger memories of funny or fun things so that eventually you actually laugh or smile.
- To avoid having to force yourself to smile or laugh, watch a comedy movie, read a humor book, or spend time with a friend who makes you smile.
Step 3. Find out how to cry well
Sometimes, crying can improve your mood. Even if you don't want to, it's okay to cry because after that, you feel better and are happy again. If you really want to cry, don't hold back, let your tears flow. You will feel more calm and relieved after crying. Holding back tears is the same as harboring a "stifling" sadness.
- Research shows that many people feel calmer after crying than before because crying is one of the body's natural mechanisms to be free from stress hormones.
- However, while crying can reduce stress and improve your mood, you should be able to recognize a more serious emotional problem or hormonal disorder if you can't control your crying. If you can't stop crying, find a doctor or therapist who can provide professional help.
Step 4. Think about more important things
What are some other aspects that make your life worth living? Just think about the valuable things in your life, friends, family, health. You have every reason to be happy and grateful by realizing what you have, even if you don't feel it right now. Various studies have shown that gratitude is closely related to happiness.
- Recall a pleasant memory. What you have experienced, you can experience again. Such is the beauty of memory. What looks bad today may not be the same tomorrow.
- When feelings of sadness arise because of trivial events, for example because your work is judged not to be good, try to look at this with the right perspective. Try to imagine whether 10 years from now you will still be sad and you still consider this incident important. Remember the wise words, "don't sweat the small stuff".
- Try to find one thing that makes you happy every day. There are a lot of challenges on social media like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram by posting the topic "100happy days" or "happiness seeking" which encourages people to look for happy or grateful moments in their daily lives.
- Even if your grief stems from a traumatic experience, such as the loss of a spouse, it can be helpful to do some broader reflection. For example, you will feel more comfortable remembering happy memories you had with your deceased partner. You will also feel happy and grateful for his presence in your life, although too short a time together still makes you sad because you miss him so much.
Step 5. Divert your thoughts
When we are sad, it is usually very difficult to think about anything else. However, there is no point in holding on to grief because in addition to harming yourself, you will feel hopeless and helpless. Try to find fun things to distract yourself from your sadness and reduce stress that scientists call "flow." You don't need to avoid trouble, but look for activities that make you lose track of time and place. Use the following ways to distract yourself:
- Listen to music. Don't be tempted to listen to sad music. Choose upbeat music, upbeat, entertaining, or upbeat music, and play songs that remind you of good times. Music is also a very effective way and means of therapy.
- Look again at pictures you made as a child or photos of your travels, graduations, and important life events. If something funny happens, don't shy away and try to enjoy it. You'll realize that life goes by so fast and there are so many happy (and funny!) moments you've had, not just sad ones.
Step 6. Read the book
Explore a different life or past. Books can take us to places we've never been, to places full of adventure and romance stories we've never heard of. Whether you enjoy reading historical fiction or warm romance, a different setting will relax your mind and direct your focus elsewhere. Reading can reduce stress by two-thirds, even if it's only for six minutes.
Method 2 of 4: Understanding Your Sadness
Step 1. Know the meaning of sadness
Grief can arise from various experiences of grief. Sadness is an unpleasant emotion that is usually temporary and generally stems from external factors, such as a breakup, an argument or disagreement with a close friend, moving from your parents' home, or the loss of a loved one. Sadness is a normal emotion that many people feel in various situations in their lives.
Grief that arises as a reaction to the experience of grief will affect concentration, appetite, and sleep patterns
Step 2. Know the difference between sadness and depression
You have to know the difference between sadness and depression because they are treated differently. Unlike sadness, the external factors that cause depression are usually not easy to identify; people just feel it. When compared with sadness, depression is a more serious problem that causes feelings of unhappiness, lack of or excess sleep, weight gain or loss, increased or decreased appetite, lack of energy, indifference to the environment, unwillingness to engage socially, difficulty concentrating, and feeling worthless.
- One of the important differences between depression and sadness lies in the ability to feel pleasure, love, and hope. People who feel sad are usually still able to experience happy or joyful moments. However, people who suffer from depression are generally unable to feel pleasure, love, hope or anything else and their emotions are flat. What's more, people with depression seem powerless to free themselves from problems so they tend to think negative things, live in the past, and are unable to make themselves happy.
- Depression usually lasts a long time and for some people, the problem lasts for months, years, or a lifetime, whereas sadness usually goes away more easily and is temporary. If you feel that you are unable to cope with your sadness that is interfering with your daily activities and you suspect you may have a depressive disorder, consult a mental health professional immediately. Depression should be treated with psychotherapy and medication. So you have to find out if your feelings are worse than ordinary sadness so that your problem can be handled properly.
Step 3. Reflect on your emotions
Have you recently experienced certain events that could explain how you are feeling? For example, have you recently broken up or lost a family member? It will be easier for you to understand and deal with your sadness by finding out what causes it. By reflecting, you can also make sure that the sadness you are feeling is a normal reaction to what is happening, not chronic depression.
- In addition, if you know the cause of your sadness, you can determine the most appropriate way to deal with it. For example, someone who feels sad because of a breakup after 3 months of dating will feel different sadness from someone whose life partner has just died after 10 years of marriage.
- If you are saddened by a loss or have had a major traumatic experience, it may be helpful to consult a mental health professional who can advise you on ways to cope with grief and loss. According to information in the Holmes-Rahe Life Stress Inventory, the most stressful events that affect a person's mental and physical well-being are when a spouse dies, divorces, separates from a spouse, and the death of a close family member. If the grief is getting worse, the techniques described below may be useful in combination with therapy.
Method 3 of 4: Doing Fun Activities
Step 1. Exercise
Start walking, jogging, cycling, or exercising in a team. Do whatever it takes to get you moving and feeling more energized. Exercising makes your body release endorphins, feel-good chemicals that improve mood and prevent stress.
When you exercise or engage in physical activity, your body has to expend energy and tone your muscles, triggering the powerful endorphins. So if you don't feel like you're ready for a fitness class or a 5km run, try tidying up your house or taking a 15-20 minute walk to let your body release the endorphins it needs to feel happy
Step 2. Eat healthy snacks
Scientists suggest that when and what you eat can affect how you feel and your mood. If you're feeling down, try eating a low-fat, low-protein snack, but opt for one that's high in carbohydrates, like muffins with a spread of jam. When high-carbohydrate foods are consumed with protein and fat, your body pumps the amino acid tryptophan into the brain. Tryptophan will turn into the hormone serotonin, a neurotransmitter that will improve your mood and overall condition in 30 minutes.
Carbohydrate needs can also be met by eating popcorn or a piece of whole wheat bread. However, do not eat foods high in protein, such as cheese and poultry. These foods will suppress the production of the hormone serotonin because the amino acids contained in it will suppress and ultimately inhibit the flow of tryptophan into the brain
Step 3. Do something spontaneous
Routine activities that are always the same and boring will cause unpleasant feelings. Do something without a plan (but don't make rash decisions!). Visit a friend or a museum, whip up a surprise lunch for your mom, or have a weekend out of town. You can rediscover your passion for life by doing unusual activities.
Alternatively, try to randomize your activities by creating “distractions” in your daily routine. For example, do your morning activities in a different order, such as drinking coffee after a shower. Go to work early. Make your routine a bit chaotic and observe how you feel. Sometimes, a routine that has become a habit, while comfortable at first, turns into a trap in the end
Step 4. Do your hobby
Channel negative emotions or feelings of depression through various activities. Do things that are fun and relaxing, like painting, studying photography, writing poetry, or making ceramics. Look for activities that can give you a sense of peace and free you from everyday problems. This doesn't mean that you can "escape" from sadness, but in this way, you will be stronger in dealing with sadness by giving yourself time to do what you love.
Look for new activities. Maybe you've always wanted to practice yoga, but never could. Try doing new things that can re-energize your life. Taking up a new activity or hobby is also an opportunity to meet like-minded people
Step 5. Get in the habit of bathing regularly
You'll be amazed at how fresh it feels after a shower. If you usually take warm baths and the air temperature is not too cold, try taking a shower with slightly cooler water than usual. Cold showers can be healing and very beneficial. Research has shown that cold showers can improve circulation and blood flow, reduce stress and tension, and improve mood. Cold temperatures make our bodies release endorphins into the bloodstream and brain which makes you feel more refreshed and positive.
If you prefer to soak, dissolve 1-2 cups of English salt in the tub. In addition to freeing the body of toxins and reducing tension, English salt also triggers the flow of endorphins, thereby relieving stress and improving mood
Method 4 of 4: Living a Social Life
Step 1. Talk to a friend
Social contacts and support are important factors in achieving happiness. Talking to a friend about how you are feeling and what caused it can reduce your sadness because you know that there is someone who cares about you. Expressing sadness by making a sound is a way of “conveying” emotions. In addition, you can explain exactly what you are feeling because these feelings must be expressed through speech. Your sadness that was once abstract has now become something real, can be named and discussed, even if expressed only in words.
- Research shows that people who experience stress due to a very important life issue, such as the loss of a spouse or job, are more likely to be relieved of grief if they have lots of supportive friends and family they can rely on.
- You can also learn something if you talk to friends. For example, your friend may have felt the same way or had a similar problem so he or she could offer you support or advice. Plus, your friends can see your problems from a different perspective and suggest ways to solve problems you've never thought of before. If you've just had a breakup, your friend will probably remind you how often you've called her to complain about your boyfriend being uncaring for you and being selfish. This means, your friends can remind what why until you part when the sadness of this separation continues to torment you.
- Having friends makes you feel supported, heard, understood, and relieves you of feeling alone. Plus, talking to friends can also improve your mood because you'll be smiling and laughing at the same time!
Step 2. Do activities outside the home and socialize
Go see a movie at the cinema, enjoy dinner at a restaurant, or cycle with friends or family. In addition to distracting, social interaction will free your mind from sadness for a few hours. Talking to other people-even small talk-and changing things up can improve your mood.
If you really prefer to be alone, don't let yourself completely shut yourself off from socializing because you will be more stressed and anxious. Make an effort to engage in social interactions with a specific purpose, such as helping with groceries, buying groceries, or going to the salon with a friend for a pedicure, instead of going out to a bar with friends all night
Step 3. Spend time with pets
If you don't like socializing with other people, it's a good idea to have a cuddly pet! Sadness will be reduced by hugging or petting a pet because this can fulfill a person's need for relationship and intimacy. Research shows that spending time with dogs can increase the concentration of endorphins, chemicals that interact with the brain to trigger positive feelings and improve mood.
In addition, animals have a special ability to recognize what we are feeling through our body movements and tone of voice so that the pet's feelings can be "in tune" with our feelings
Step 4. Focus on the other person
Apart from keeping you busy, sharing your time and energy to help others will also foster a sense of worth and usefulness. This will make you feel better and help solve your problem.
- Volunteer in activities you enjoy, such as helping teach children in PAUD, taking care of book lending at a reading house, caring for an abandoned dog, or helping out at a nursing home.
- Even if you're only giving a small favor to someone else, for example by letting someone else pay first while standing in line at the cashier, it can make you feel better. Doing good will give you a sense of happiness because you are actually doing real actions, not just in your thoughts.
