Did you know that only 4% of women ages 18-29 consider themselves “beautiful?” Meanwhile, 60% of women consider themselves “ordinary” or “natural.” Unfortunately, this may be due to popular culture and the media, which causes them to feel there are unrealistic and impossible standards of beauty. Fortunately, beauty doesn't have to come from self-dictation, but rather, you have to define it. In fact, many women "feel" beautiful because of other factors, for example: being loved, being able to care for themselves, having good friends, being in a relationship, etc. In fact, beauty is not about looks, but who you are as a person.
Part 1 of 3: Radiating Beauty
Step 1. Smile
There is a saying that goes, “Smile and the world will smile with you.” This advice is really good. Even better, smiling can actually change the chemical reactions in the brain, in a good way. Smiling when you're not happy can actually make you feel better. Even if you don't want to do it, keep trying. Yes, you may have to start by faking a smile, but without realizing it, this smile will soon become real. You can laugh too. Laughter increases oxygen to the brain, which releases chemicals called endorphins. Endorphins are good chemicals that make us feel good.
Step 2. Stay healthy
Take care of your health by eating right, getting enough sleep at night, and exercising regularly. But don't beat yourself up if you cheat for a day or two – you are allowed to do so. Keeping healthy is also about managing stress levels. Low stress levels will bring many health benefits. In addition, your mood will also be better.
- Make time for yourself every day.
- Consider massage therapy, pedicures, etc., anything that relaxes you, on a regular basis.
- Do not use any scale (eg scales). Looking at a number on a scale can drastically affect your emotional state, even if it doesn't really have anything to do with how you feel or think about yourself. Don't trap yourself in disappointment.
Step 3. Have a positive self-image
Self-image is a mental image of oneself. This self-image is directly related to a sense of worth and self-confidence. Your self-image is developed over time, based on personal experience. If your experience so far has been positive enough, your self-image will probably be positive too, and vice versa. If you are experiencing negative things and developing a negative self-image, you are more likely to doubt your skills. Carrying out a positive evaluation will lead to empathy skills and feelings of satisfaction.
- Sit down and write down all of your positive qualities and abilities. You may be surprised to find that you are very talented and should be proud.
- Try not to compare yourself to other people, be it celebrities, friends, or family members. You are not them. You don't need to compare. You are fully human yourself.
- Learn to love yourself for who you are. You are unique, and this is amazing! No matter what you've been through in life, you managed to survive this difficult and long journey.
Step 4. Cut the hair in a nice style
Hair can really affect you! If your haircut is very personal to your taste, you will feel more confident and happy. Otherwise, you will be disappointed and annoyed. When you're getting your next haircut, take the time to plan ahead. This is important to get the best haircut that suits your needs and desires.
Think about these questions about your hair, then match the hairstyle with the answers:
- Would you like to be able to wash your hair?
- How long do you have to 'manage' your hair every morning?
- What styling tools (hair dryer, flat iron, etc.) do you have and are good at?
- Search for hairstyles on Google and check the results. If you see something you want, print it out and take it to the salon. This method is especially effective if you want to dye your hair. You no longer need to explain the color shades.
- Give the stylist as much detail as possible before he starts. Explain exactly what you want and should do with your hair.
- During or after a haircut, ask the stylist for advice on how to style your hair properly. You probably won't be able to do it exactly like he does, but the stylist can teach you a few tricks.
Step 5. Change the contents of the cupboard
If you look confident, you will feel the same way. However, this means that you have to wear the clothes, not the clothes that "wear" you. When trying to dress to exude confidence, make sure the color and style you choose matches your personality and body shape. Make clothes express your personal style, not someone else's. Most importantly, make sure you are comfortable wearing it.
- Emphasize your best 'assets', instead of hiding the things you don't like from yourself.
- Wear something that makes you stand out, such as something unique. Examples might be really stunning earrings, or brightly colored shoes. Choose whatever suits your personal taste.
- If you don't know where to start, consider making an appointment with a personal shopper at the nearest mall. He or she can help you choose from various options and determine the best one.
Step 6. Stand straight
Don't bend over! Unfortunately, this is easier said than done. Good posture is related to the muscles of the body that are balanced and even. Poor posture will contribute to sore and sore muscles. In addition, the correct body position also affects the joints and prevents arthritis. In addition to all these physical advantages, you will also look confident and ready to take on the world!
- When standing, lean your shoulders back slightly in a relaxed position; belly pull; keep your feet hip distance apart; balance body weight evenly on both legs; and let the hands hang naturally at the sides of the body. Avoid tilting your head in any direction, or locking your knees.
- When sitting, make sure your feet can rest comfortably on the floor, while your knees should be in line with your hips; sit at the back of the bench; prop a rolled up towel or pillow behind your lower back (if the bench doesn't have a backrest); turn your head to the ceiling; lower the chin slightly; and keep your upper back and neck in a straight line. Relax both shoulders.
- While sleeping, maintain a position that maintains the natural curve of the spine; try to avoid sleeping on your stomach; use a harder mattress instead of a soft one. If you sleep on your side, place a pillow between your knees to keep the leg above flat against your spine.
- Lift objects resting on your knees, not your back. When lifting something heavy, keep your back straight and bend your knees. When standing, straighten this knee again. Do not bend forward at the waist to lift an object.
Part 2 of 3: Radiating Confidence
Step 1. Think about what your body language is saying
Body language is sometimes louder than words. Often, body language is determined by how you feel rather than what you want to appear. However, you can change it by paying attention to your body position during a conversation. There are specific ways to adjust your body to show confidence:
- Don't sway. Stand still at one point, with your feet together hip-width apart. Balance the body weight properly, do not alternate between one leg to the other.
- Lean back on a chair when you sit down. Don't shake your lower body. If you want to cross your legs, do so comfortably and without straining. Keep your hands in a relaxed position.
- Gaze at a specific point or general area. Keep the head still. Keep your head straight, with your chin parallel to the floor.
- Bring your hands together in front or behind your body when not in use. If you want to grip it, do it lightly. However, don't hide your hands in your pockets and clench them into fists.
- Do not rush. Walk and talk steadily. Don't speak quickly. Confident people usually don't rush.
- Stop every few moments – whether walking or talking.
- Be comfortable and don't sway when the conversation breaks down or everyone else is quiet.
- Embrace assertiveness. Smile. Look into other people's eyes. If you shake someone's hand, do so firmly.
Step 2. Be respectful and friendly towards others
To be able to see that natural beauty is within, do personal reflection AND on all others. Every human being has one or more amazing qualities that make him special. When you are with other people, look at them from a new angle and see who they really are from within. By becoming aware of these qualities, you will also begin to detect them within yourself.
- Use this opportunity to explore the specific qualities you admire in other people, and how you can work towards achieving them. Choose role models based on these qualities.
- Don't be afraid to tell people what you admire about them. Compliments from others who admire you will greatly increase your confidence and self-esteem.
Step 3. Act decisively
Assertiveness helps ensure that you will get what you need in life. Assertiveness is not about controlling others. Being assertive includes: saying no; express an opinion; ask for help; compliment someone; and don't give in to pressure. Being an assertive communicator means that you are able to express yourself openly and honestly, while respecting the other person. Showing assertiveness is a good way to boost self-confidence. You will feel good when you are able to get what you need without making other people sad or angry.
- When speaking firmly to someone, remember to: look at them without being intimidating; maintain a normal volume of speech and a respectful tone of voice; not using confusing hand gestures; and respect their personal space.
- Express feelings in “I” based statements. These statements consist of four parts: feelings, behaviors, effects, and choices - "I feel xxx at xxx because of xxx. I prefer xxx". For example, "I get annoyed when you tell me what to do in an email, because it made me feel unappreciated. I'd prefer it if you asked me to do something instead of telling me.”
Step 4. Prepare ahead of time
Remember: you cannot change the past and control the future. However, you can prepare for future events by looking at the things you can control and creating a plan of action. When doing so, avoid the extreme approach, which is when you try to consider all possible outcomes. You're unlikely to be able to do it, so stick to only realistic possibilities. Once you figure that out, set priorities. Prepare the most important things first. You also don't have to prepare alone. Use family members and friends to help. Talk your thoughts with someone, or practice what you are going to say.
- Being prepared also includes saying no. Don't feel obligated to do something just because someone asked you to. If you can't realistically achieve what they're asking for, say no.
- After the situation or event occurs, reward yourself for getting through it well.
Part 3 of 3: Trusting Yourself
Step 1. Stop being critical of yourself
Value and respect yourself. You don't have to be a perfectionist. Not everyone has to like you, and not every activity you participate in has to end perfectly. Your personal values have nothing to do with what you have accomplished or not. You have value and worth as a human being, regardless of what you do or don't do. Don't look at life in black and white.
- Change your vocabulary and stop saying "should". “Should” denotes an unnecessary level of perfectionism, and can sometimes force useless and unreasonable expectations from others.
- Replace self-critical thoughts with encouraging ones. Provide constructive support to help you make positive changes.
- Don't feel the need to be responsible for everything. Not only will this feeling increase your stress and exhaust you, but you will also steal other people's opportunity to take responsibility (including yourself).
- If something is within your control and you fail to address it, admit it was wrong. However, if it's beyond your control, you don't have to feel guilty or take responsibility.
Step 2. Think positively
A positive attitude is important not only for yourself, but also for those around you. Young adults will listen to those who are older. If these people hear you talk negatively about yourself (for example, “My ass is fat”), they may also become self-critical. Most of these comments are talked about so often that we forget to mention them. So the next time you feel a negative comment is coming your way, try to consciously turn it into a positive one. The change process will not happen in a day. At times, you may find it impossible to think positively, but start gradually. The most important thing here is to recognize when you are being negative, and do something about it.
- Look at yourself in the mirror at least once a day, and make positive comments about it.
- Don't just think, speak. If you like the look of that latest hairstyle, say so!
Step 3. Never stop learning
Think of this as an opportunity to challenge yourself. Learn something new every day. Take courses that teach something new and interesting, for example: drawing, painting, cooking, singing, clay crafts, etc. Or, take university classes in interesting subjects you've never studied before. Develop your point of view. Encourage friends to participate in one of your 'learning expeditions'.
Take the risk. Don't think of all learning opportunities as something to be won or perfected. Understand that you have the right to fail, because you will still have fun. However, if you don't step out of your comfort zone and take risks, you'll never know how much fun it can be to learn something without hope
Step 4. Work towards your definition of personal success
Success in life does not depend on other people, but on what YOU want. Success doesn't have to be like the normal “standard” of this world, which is to be rich. Success should be based on realistic goals for yourself, based on what you want and need. Success also does not mean perfection, but the various targets that you can achieve to a certain degree that are not perfect. In addition, success also does not have to be the final destination, but your journey in life. If you try something (e.g. knitting a scarf) and fail to finish it (because it looks more like a bunch of random yarn), that's okay! As long as you have fun, you have succeeded.
Step 5. Treat mistakes as learning experiences
Regardless of what you are trying to do in life, you will make mistakes. Everyone is like this. First of all, know that there is nothing wrong with the error. Some historic mistakes have even changed the world (eg Teflon, vulcanized rubber, post-it notes, penicillin). Instead of getting stressed about it, take advantage of your mistakes as learning opportunities. Think about what you could do in a different way. The more mistakes you make the more you will learn and become smarter!