Self-confidence, which is a combination of belief in one's abilities and self-respect, is a very important aspect of human life. Belief in abilities is a feeling or belief that we can carry out various tasks or achieve goals in life. Self-respect is the same, but it's more about believing that in general we are competent at whatever we do and we deserve to be happy in life. Confident people usually like themselves, are willing to take risks to achieve personal and professional goals, and always think positively about the future. However, people who lack self-confidence feel less able to achieve their goals, and tend to have a negative view of themselves and what they want to achieve in life. The good news is that you can create your own self-confidence!
Step
Part 1 of 4: Cultivating a Good Attitude
Step 1. Recognize your negative thoughts
Negative thoughts usually take the form of “I can't”, “I'm doomed to fail”, “no one will listen to what I have to say”. These voices are pessimistic, unhelpful, and will prevent you from having high self-esteem and great self-confidence.
Step 2. Replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts
If you notice that you are thinking negatively, switch to positive thoughts. You may need positive affirmations here, such as "I'll try," "I can succeed if I try," or "people will listen to me." Every day, start thinking about some positive things.
Step 3. Don't let negative thoughts appear more often than positive thoughts
Later, positive thoughts should fill more of your “brain space” than negative thoughts. The more often you fight negative thoughts with positive thoughts, the more you will get used to it.
Step 4. Have a positive support network
Be close to loved ones to keep you happy, such as family or friends. Also, stay away from people or things that make you feel bad.
- The person you call a friend may make you feel bad if he or she often says negative things or criticizes you.
- Even well-meaning families can lose self-confidence if they continue to insist on what you “should” do.
- As you build a positive attitude and work towards your goals, these negative people will become more and more obvious. Limit contact with them as much as possible as you try to build confidence.
- Among the people who fill your life, think of anyone who can really make you feel great. Make plans to spend time with people who always support and encourage you.
Step 5. Eliminate anything that can give rise to negative thoughts
Don't allow yourself to be in a situation that makes you feel negative about yourself. For example, reminders of the past, clothes that don't fit anymore, or places that don't suit your new goal of self-confidence. While you may not be able to get rid of all the things that cause negative thoughts, you can certainly think of ways to avoid them. This will support your efforts to build self-confidence.
Sit down for a moment and think about anything that is keeping you down, like a bad friend, a career you don't care about, or an almost unbearable life situation
Step 6. Recognize your talents
Everyone has skills, so look for what you are good at, then focus on your talents. You can feel proud. Express yourself through art, music, writing, or dancing. Find what you love and then develop talents that match your interests.
- Having different interests or hobbies in life will not only make you more confident, but it will also increase your chances of meeting suitable friends.
- Following an interest can not only have a therapeutic effect, it will also make you feel unique and successful, all of which can boost your self-confidence.
Step 7. Be proud of yourself
Not only should you be proud of your talent or skill, but you should also pay attention to all the things that make your personality special. For example, a sense of humor, compassion, listening skills, or the ability to cope with stress. You may not realize that your personality is worthy of admiration, but if you dig deeper, you'll realize that you have so many amazing qualities. Focus your attention on those qualities by noting them.
Step 8. Accept compliments graciously
People with low self-esteem usually find it difficult to accept compliments. They assume that the compliment is wrong or a lie. If you notice that you're responding to a compliment with disbelief and saying, "That's right," or shrugging your shoulders, you'll need to change the way you respond to compliments.
- Accept it sincerely and give a positive response (a "thank you" and a smile will suffice). Make the person who compliments you feel that you really appreciate it, and try to really accept the compliment sincerely.
- You can add the content of the compliment to your list of positive attributes and use it to boost your confidence.
Step 9. Look at yourself in the mirror and smile
Research into the "facial feedback theory" reveals that facial expressions can actually influence the brain to form or amplify certain emotions. So, by looking in the mirror and smiling every day, over time you can feel happier with yourself and more confident. It can also make you like how you look and accept yourself as you are.
Other people will also respond favorably to you if you smile at them, so in addition to making you happier, your self-confidence is also boosted by feedback from others
Part 2 of 4: Handling Emotions
Step 1. Face your fear comfortably
You may think that confident people are never afraid. That is absolutely not true. Fear exists because you are on the edge of your comfort zone towards life or something you dream of. For example, fear of speaking in front of a group of people, introducing yourself to new people, or asking your boss for a raise.
- When you are able to face your fears, you will gain confidence and feel it right away.
- Imagine a baby learning to walk. There were many possibilities waiting for him. But he was afraid of falling when he took his first step. As he conquered the fear and started walking, a wide smile appeared on his face. You are like a baby trying to overcome fear.
Step 2. Be patient with yourself
Sometimes you have to take a few steps back in order to move forward. Confidence cannot be built overnight. Maybe you've tried something new but it didn't work. If possible, learn from the experience. Not succeeding in achieving your goals on the first try is an opportunity to understand yourself better. Confidence must be nurtured and developed, little by little.
For example, you ask your boss for a raise, and he refuses. What can you learn from here? Think about the way you ask for it. Is there something wrong?
Step 3. Try to find balance
Like all things in life, self-confidence also needs balance. Low self-esteem can hinder your efforts to reach your goals and accept yourself. On the other hand, you also have to be realistic. Don't underestimate the time and effort it takes to reach your goals.
Step 4. Stop comparing yourself to others
If you want to build self-confidence, focus on trying to make your life better, not making it look like your best friend's, your sister's, or the celebrities you see on television. If you want to build self-confidence, you must realize that there are always people who are prettier, smarter, and richer than you, just as there are always people who are less attractive, less intelligent, and less wealthy than you. It's all irrelevant, the only thing that is relevant is concern for goals and dreams.
- Maybe you lack self-confidence because you believe that other people are always better. But in the end, what matters is whether you're happy by your own standards. If you don't have an idea, you should look inside yourself first before continuing.
- In addition, the study found that activities on social media often make users compare themselves with others. Because people tend to only show their greatness and not the realities of everyday life, their life looks more beautiful than yours. That is not true! Everyone has their own problems.
Step 5. Acknowledge what makes you feel inferior
What are the voices in the back of your mind saying? What makes you feel uncomfortable or ashamed of yourself? This may be due to acne, or regret, friends at school, past trauma, or negative experiences. Acknowledge anything that makes you worthless, embarrassed, or inferior, then give each one a name and write it down on a piece of paper. Then, you can tear the paper and burn it to create positive feelings.
This exercise is not meant to make your feelings worse, but to understand the problem at hand and strengthen your ability to overcome it
Step 6. Rise from mistakes
Remember that no one is perfect. Even the most confident people have feelings of inferiority. There are times when we feel we are lacking something. This is reality. Understand that life's journey is full of problems. And these feelings of inferiority often come and go, depending on where we are, who we are with, our mood, or how we feel. In other words, this state is not fixed. If you make a mistake, the best option is to admit it, apologize, and strategize so that it doesn't happen again.
Don't let one wrong move make you think you don't have what it takes to achieve your dreams. Maybe your last relationship ended because you weren't a good boyfriend. However, that doesn't mean you can't change your attitude and find love again
Step 7. Avoid perfectionism
Perfectionism can paralyze and prevent you from achieving your goals. If you feel like everything has to be done perfectly, you can never be truly happy with yourself or with your circumstances. Instead, learn to take pride in a job well done instead of wanting everything to be perfect. If you have the mindset of a perfectionist, your efforts to be more confident will be hindered.
Step 8. Learn to be grateful
Often times, feelings of inferiority and insecurity are rooted in feelings of not being enough, such as emotional recognition, possessions, luck, or money. By acknowledging and appreciating what you already have, you can conquer feelings of lack and discontent. Finding the inner peace that accompanies genuine gratitude will support self-confidence. Sit down for a moment and reflect on everything you have, from good friends to health.
Make a gratitude list and fill it with all the things you are grateful for. Reread and add new items at least once a week, and it will put you in a more positive and stronger frame of mind
Part 3 of 4: Learn to Take Care of Yourself
Step 1. Watch yourself
There are many easy ways to do it. You can pay attention to personal hygiene by bathing regularly, brushing and flossing, and eating delicious and healthy foods. You also need to make time for yourself, even when you are very busy or someone is monopolizing most of your time.
- It may seem strange, but if you care about your primary needs, you are actually telling yourself that you deserve the time and attention you need to take care of yourself.
- When you believe in yourself, you are on the right track to having self-confidence.
Step 2. Pay attention to appearance
You don't have to have a face like Brad Pitt's to start building confidence. If you want to like yourself and your appearance more, take care of yourself by showering every day, brushing your teeth, wearing appropriate and shaped clothes, and making sure you take the time to pay attention to your appearance. Not that you will be more confident with your appearance or superficial style, but by making an effort to pay attention to your appearance, you are showing that you are worthy of attention.
Step 3. Exercise regularly
One way to take care of yourself is to exercise. For you, this may mean a brisk walk in the open. For others, this may mean cycling for 75 km. Start doing what you can. Exercise doesn't have to be complicated.
Many studies have shown that exercise is important for forming a positive outlook on life, and a positive attitude plays a large role in self-confidence
Step 4. Get enough sleep
Getting a good 7-9 hours of sleep each night can make you look and feel better. Sleep can help you be more positive and more energetic. Getting enough sleep will also help you to be able to control your emotions and deal with stress more effectively.
Part 4 of 4: Setting Goals and Taking Risks
Step 1. Set small, achievable goals
Many people set goals that are unrealistic or unattainable, then feel overwhelmed or never start at all. This has a bad effect on self-confidence.
- Gradually turn small goals into larger, achievable goals.
- Imagine that you want to run a marathon, but are worried that you won't be able to make it. Don't try 40 km right away on the first training day. Start with what you can. If you're not a runner, try setting a goal to train for 1 km first. If you can already run 8 km easily, increase it to 9 km.
- For example, if your desk is a mess, it might be hard to think about just tidying it up. Start by returning the book to the shelf. Even small steps like stacking papers neatly for sorting again at a later time are already progress in the goal of tidying the table.
Step 2. Embrace the unknown
People who lack confidence worry they will never succeed in unpredictable situations. Now you have to stop doubting yourself and try something completely new, unknown, and different. Whatever the situation, such as visiting another country with friends or letting your cousin set you on a blind date, getting used to welcoming the unknown can help you feel more comfortable with yourself and feel in control of your destiny, or it's okay if you don't. can't control it. If you feel successful even in unanticipated situations, your self-confidence will increase.
Hang out with people who are adventurous and spontaneous. You'll find that you can actually do things you never thought possible, and then you'll feel better
Step 3. Overcome what you perceive as weaknesses
There may be some things about yourself that you don't like but can't change, such as your height or hair texture. However, it's likely that many things that you've always thought of as weaknesses can actually be overcome with a little effort and hard work.
- If you want to be a more sociable person or do better in school, you can make a plan and start working on it. While you may not be the most sociable kid in the future or be chosen as the student to give a farewell speech, a plan to change for the better can do a lot for your self-confidence.
- Don't be too hard on yourself. Don't try to change everything. Start with one or two aspects you want to change, and work your way up from there.
- Having a journal that describes your progress towards achieving your goals will make a big difference. A journal can help you see how well your plans are working, and can make you feel proud of what you've done.
Step 4. Help others
When you realize that you are kind to the people around you and are making positive changes in other people's lives (even if only by being kinder to the person who makes you coffee in the morning), you will know that you are a positive force in this world, and this will increase self-confidence. Find ways to help others as part of your weekly routine, such as volunteering at the city library or helping your sibling learn to read. Helping is not only useful for other people, but also builds self-confidence because you will realize that there is a lot you can give to others.
The benefits of helping not only can be obtained by helping the community. Sometimes the people closest to you, like your mother or best friend, need just as much help
Tips
- Don't be afraid to push yourself beyond the limits of your physical or mental abilities. Such pressure will help you see how easy it is to achieve something and thereby hone your skills. Get out of your comfort zone.
- You can increase your confidence by hypnotizing yourself with the Best Me technique so you can experience what it's like to achieve a long-term goal, and thereby reduce stress.
- Don't lock yourself up in mistakes and only think about the bad points. All of this goes against a good point or even becomes something that needs to be constantly improved. There's no such thing as being good at doing something bad.
