Criticism usually triggers hurt feelings, especially if you are criticized without knowing how to deal with it. Building and showing confidence in the face of detractors is not easy. However, being able to control your thoughts and feelings keeps you confident and less hurt. For that, learn to respect yourself when criticized by showing the ability to control emotions, increase self-confidence, and prevent repeated bullying.
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Method 1 of 3: Using the Fast Way
Step 1. Take a few deep breaths
Take a moment to calm yourself down to focus your mind by taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly. Take your mind off the criticism and focus on yourself. With your eyes closed, continue to breathe deeply and regularly until you calm down again.
- To keep the mind focused on the breath, inhale for 3 counts, hold breath for 2 counts, exhale for 3 counts. Breathe following this pattern a few times as needed.
- When calming down, you should find a place to sit or relax.
Step 2. Conduct an evaluation to address the reproach
Take a moment to reflect briefly to think about what the person who criticized you said. Ask yourself: is he saying the right thing? is there any particular reason that he intentionally hurt you, for example because the two of you had a conflict?
- If the criticism is true, realize that imperfection is normal. Remember that everyone has flaws that can be overcome and corrected.
- If what he said wasn't true, remind yourself that he was saying something wrong and not about you.
- Use personal experience to resist reproach. For example, if someone says, "You're stupid," think of a work or academic achievement you've had, such as winning a class or getting a promotion.
Step 3. Don't retaliate with criticism
You may feel the need to return criticism with criticism, but whatever your plans are, whether you want to give a presentation or just spend time with friends or family members, don't care about the person who criticizes you.
- Realize that criticizing other people to get back at you for what they do to you is useless.
- Remind yourself, "A surefire way to disappoint the detractor is to show that I wasn't influenced by what he said, not by criticizing him back." Do good to repay the treatment. Sometimes, this way makes him realize his mistake.
Step 4. Work on controlling your emotions
Don't hesitate to say goodbye or pause for a moment to calm yourself down so you can control your emotions. Negative reactions to being criticized are natural. People around you can understand if you want to be alone for a while to calm down.
- Take a moment to breathe deeply while saying positive affirmations or mantras in your heart.
- Give yourself enough time to work through the hurt or anger. Instead of being impulsive or throwing a tantrum, try to calm the raging emotions.
Step 5. Just laugh at him
Laughter can trigger the secretion of endorphins, which are a group of hormones that cause a feeling of pleasure or a sensation of euphoria. Think of someone's criticism as a laughing stock to get the endorphins to turn a panic attack into a sense of calm.
- Remind yourself that no one is immune to criticism or criticism. If you can't laugh at criticism, remember your flaws and then use it as an excuse to laugh at yourself.
- Apply the "fake it until you get used to it" method. Even if nothing's funny, laugh at yourself when the situation isn't fun. Over time, you are able to do it spontaneously.
Method 2 of 3: Boost Confidence
Step 1. Learn to accept criticism
Compared to other reactions, being able to accept criticism requires more confidence, but you don't need to agree with what he has to say. If criticism is made by someone you consider important, this attitude shows your willingness to take their opinion into account. If the critic is someone you don't care about, this reaction shows that you weren't affected by what he or she said.
- Practice accepting criticism by reviewing criticism, for example, "You're stupid." After uttering the reproach, try to accept it by saying to yourself, "You're right, I was stupid."
- Say this sentence over and over again until you don't feel any pain. This step won't necessarily free you from heartache, but the courage to experience the pain of being criticized again will keep you alert and ready to respond wisely when someone criticizes you.
- Remember that this exercise isn't just about justifying what he's saying, it's about helping you build the confidence to understand his point of view, but you shouldn't let this get to you.
Step 2. Create a self-development plan
Take time to reflect to find out your weaknesses. Instead of letting criticism affect how you see yourself, identify aspects of your personality that need improvement.
- Write down goals and action plans to address these weaknesses. For example, you may feel that you are not capable of being a good public speaker. Therefore, you need to improve your skills, such as honing your communication techniques, practicing giving presentations in front of a mirror, and even taking public speaking classes.
- If someone criticizes you, remember that you are trying to improve. So, there is no reason to criticize people who are trying to develop themselves.
Step 3. Intend to free yourself from heartache
This advice is easy to say, but hard to implement. The most effective way to maintain your confidence when being criticized is to remind yourself that it works when you feel hurt. Criticism doesn't hurt when you ignore it right away and focus on positive aspects of your personality or self-improvement.
- Complete the sentence: "I'm fine because I _" with your strengths and positive personality traits as reasons that enable you to ignore criticism.
- For example, if someone chides you by saying, "You did really well," say to yourself, "It's okay. I've put together a great report for this project."
- Remember that you need time to let go of the hurt. You need to go through the process of becoming a positive person in order to be able to ignore criticism. Think of this as a goal to be achieved, instead of expecting an instant solution.
Step 4. Make sure you have a community of positive people
In addition to boosting your self-confidence, you need to interact with people who are a positive influence to avoid being criticized that isn't constructive. Set aside time to build relationships with friends, relatives, co-workers that make everyday life enjoyable and stay away from negative people.
- Relationships with positive people help you build self-confidence because they will celebrate your success and motivate you to achieve positive things. Appreciate those who do it for you.
- Show attitude to people who criticize you. Minimize interaction with family members or cut ties with people who position themselves as friends but don't hesitate to criticize you. Tell him, "I don't need negative things like your criticism".
Method 3 of 3: Preventing Repeat Bullying
Step 1. Ignore the person who criticizes you
In general, bullies are people who seek attention. If you are angry at being criticized, you do what they want. Show confidence and composure by ignoring the bully's words so that he is helpless.
- If the bully interrupts to throw a tantrum while you're talking, just continue without paying any heed to what he's saying.
- Give consistent reactions. Bullies may attack you by speaking loudly, repeating insults, or using harsh words. He will stop causing trouble if you show a consistent attitude.
Step 2. Stay away from bullies
When someone criticizes you, ignore it by walking away. Do this confidently while smiling and lifting your chin to show that you're not in the least bit influenced by what he's saying.
- If you're being followed, keep going until you get to where you're going or he leaves you.
- Don't avoid a bully by lying. You are free to carry out daily activities as usual, such as going to school, to the office, or to other places. Leave the bully by stepping confidently to let him know that his behavior has no impact on your actions.
Step 3. Tell someone about your problem
If the bully not only lashes out at you, but starts threatening or physically abusing you, don't hesitate to report this to someone in authority. Include someone who can help you deal with a bully or protect you from a threat. Remember that seeking help to free yourself from bullying does not mean being helpless.
- If the bully threatens or uses physical violence, tell the teacher, boss, or counselor about this.
- If the bully physically attacks you, report it to office or campus security. You can call the police and say, "Help! I'm under attack."
Tips
- You don't have to be a completely confident person to appear confident. When someone criticizes you, pretending to be confident is enough to trick the bully. Plus, you can manipulate yourself into having self-confidence.
- Know the difference between constructive criticism and criticism. Criticism can help a person overcome flaws or improve certain aspects of his personality, while criticism is aimed at hurting the feelings of others.
- When criticized, think before you speak. Otherwise, you're making the problem worse.
