Many people are not aware of the close relationship between anger and depression. The inability to control anger makes depression worse. Therefore, the success of overcoming depression largely depends on how well you can control your anger.
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Part 1 of 3: Understanding the Relationship between Anger and Depression
Step 1. Recognize the relationship between anger and depression
While anger and depression affect mood in different ways, they are so closely related that it can be hard to tell them apart.
- Anger is usually considered a symptom of clinical depression, but there are other causes associated with this problem. Pent-up anger can trigger or exacerbate depression.
- Getting angry with reasons that bring about positive change can be considered a positive emotion. However, instead of feeling helped, angry people because they want to relieve depression, are dominated by anger. While this anger can flare up explosively, there are people who are completely unaware of what the real, more basic cause is.
- While it may feel good at first, your depression will only get worse if you feel guilty after venting your anger. You have to be able to control your anger first if you want to control depression.
Step 2. Acknowledge the anger and depression you are experiencing
In order to control your anger, you must first identify it. In addition, also identify the depression you are experiencing and try to distinguish these two emotional states through how you feel.
- By labeling each emotional state, whether it's anger or depression, you can be aware of any feelings that arise and prevent them from overflowing uncontrollably.
- If you're used to suppressing your anger, you'll have a hard time labeling your anger. Anger can arise by itself because of the motivation that moves you to take immediate action. If there is a tendency to want to hurt yourself or others (emotionally or physically) while performing this act, the cause may be anger.
Step 3. Consider the underlying problem
Anger usually appears as a symptom of a more underlying problem. You must first address the cause of your anger in order to control it.
- Anger can be linked to the cause of depression. Past trauma, for example, can trigger or exacerbate depression. In addition, anger tends to overflow when the trauma begins to resurface and feels threatening.
- Even if you can't find a link between anger and past trauma, the causes carry over to this day. Try to find a solution to this cause if you want to control the anger it causes.
Part 2 of 3: Calm Down
Step 1. Calm down quickly
Once you can control the behavior, try to calm yourself down. Anger can be beneficial if controlled properly, but can be very burdensome if allowed to escalate. The response you give can also lead to depression.
There are several ways to calm yourself down, for example by breathing deeply and being positive about yourself. Take several deep breaths using your diaphragm while repeating words or phrases that bring you calm, such as “breathe,” “relax,” or “calm down.” This method can stop thoughts of anger before they escalate
Step 2. Distract
Stay away from the cause of anger to calm yourself down. Diverting attention and channeling excess energy in an appropriate and controlled way can help you to calm your anger and control it properly.
- Exercise to release excess energy. Try brisk walking, jogging, or any other sport that can speed up blood circulation.
- Do activities that relax and distract you, such as listening to soft music, taking a warm bath, or hanging out with friends. You can balance negative emotions by doing activities that create positive energy.
Step 3. Seek support
Find someone you trust to share your feelings with. Make sure you let go of your anger without causing trouble for the other person. In other words, talk to someone about your anger and its causes without getting mad at him, let alone making him mad.
- Wait until you are calm enough to control your emotions in front of other people. If you become angry with other people, broken relationships and feelings of guilt will lead to depression.
- While talking about things, be prepared to accept constructive criticism and feedback. Think rationally if he gives you advice to compromise or change for the better.
Step 4. Write down your feelings in a journal
Another way to recognize emotions is to write. Try to record every thought and experience about anger that you feel. This can give you peace of mind and help you recognize your anger better.
Read the journal regularly. By reading a journal, you can gain an understanding of what triggers your anger and how you've responded to it over the years. You may also be able to see a pattern linking anger to depression
Step 5. Learn to laugh at life
It's impossible to find cuteness when you're dealing with a problem that's causing you anger. However, a sense of humor will make it easier for you to deal with a difficult and chaotic life.
- There are certain situations that are too serious to laugh at. Don't force yourself to be funny when the situation really doesn't allow it.
- If there really isn't anything funny in an angry situation, try finding humor elsewhere. This way, you can take your mind off your anger and calm your emotions.
Step 6. Wish others kindness
Ideally, hope that your enemy is always on good terms and that an agreement can be reached that is agreeable to both of you. However, if this seems difficult, try thinking, wishing, and praying for things other than your problem for someone you can easily care about.
- Try to see the problem from your enemy's point of view in order to grow affection for him. Even if you think of him as the one to blame, your feelings will soften with affection. This will make it easier for you to forgive the mistake.
- If you can't wish good for your enemy at this time, wish happiness for someone who is not involved in the matter. Thinking positive things and healing someone can free your mind from anger so you don't attack other people easily.
Step 7. Don't take substances that make anger and depression worse
Some people tend to consume alcohol or other substances to relieve their anger and suffering. However, this method is actually very dangerous, instead of bringing good.
- Alcohol and illegal drugs can increase the risk of impulsive actions. You have to bear the negative consequences if you get angry easily when faced with problems.
- What's more, dependence on drugs and alcohol will form unhealthy behavior patterns that cause difficulties later in life.
Part 3 of 3: Preventing Depression by Controlling Anger
Step 1. Don't do and say something you will later regret
Before you act, try to stop an action that you will regret later. Disappointment over what you do when you're angry can make depression worse.
Step 2. Try to evaluate what you are angry about
Anger can be done with a positive or negative purpose. However, initially well-meaning anger will turn into a negative thing as long as it is related to depression.
- Anger for a positive purpose can bring growth and resolution. On the other hand, anger for negative purposes usually occurs because of an unconscious sense of loss or deficiency.
- Anger that arises because of positive goals usually does not cause depression. Anger due to negative forces must be dealt with consciously to prevent the onset or worsening of depression.
Step 3. Accept your environment as it is
This is easier said than done, of course, but you have to be able to accept an angry environment and stop the obsessive behavior that seeks to find fault.
- Find out if you have certain desires that make it difficult to accept the situation.
- As a general example, we demand justice in this life. In an ideal life, we can hope like this, but the current state of the world is far from ideal and injustice always affects us in various ways. The sooner you can come to terms with this truth, the easier it will be for you to accept the realities of life about injustice without becoming obsessed with demands for justice.
Step 4. Listen to your own complaints
When anger keeps you from complaining about everyday life, pay close attention to what you're really complaining about and determine if this is helpful.
- Complaints that are offensive in nature will cause conflict with other people. This method may be useful if it can provide a solution. Oftentimes, however, complaints like these are just a means to be negative towards the other person and prevent an agreement from happening.
- Complaints that you hide create conflict with yourself. Complaining in this way is almost always depressing because it makes you passive and feel guilty.
Step 5. Turn anger into something useful
Once you've calmed down and can evaluate why you're angry, use the remaining anger energy as a source of strength to make resolutions. Depending on the situation, this could mean fighting an injustice that makes you angry or being indifferent and moving on.
As much as possible, try to find ways to solve the problem so that you are free from the urge to tantrum. Remember that anger is not an instant fix. You have to act if you want to solve the problem
Step 6. Express yourself
Depression will get worse if you always suppress anger because this only makes you feel depressed. Make an effort to express anger to the person involved, but do it in a proper way, rather than hurting. To make things easier, try to calm yourself down and identify your emotional state first.
You'll get even more depressed if you let other people step on you, so giving in isn't the solution. You need to be able to be assertive without being offensive or hostile. Try to work for your own interests without undermining the interests of others involved
Step 7. Seek professional help
Don't be afraid to ask your GP or psychologist for help with anger and depression. Perhaps this will be an important step in controlling the two emotional problems you are experiencing.
