Loneliness, while a natural feeling, is not something most people want to feel. Whether you're prone to feeling lonely as a result of missing someone you love or a place you like, or are preparing for a period of time away from your friends and family, there are many ways to avoid feeling lonely. See changes you can make yourself, include more time with friends and family in your life, and learn how to avoid dealing with addictive problems.
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Part 1 of 3: Spending Time Alone
Step 1. Control your emotions
Before you can begin to get rid of loneliness, you need to determine exactly what makes you feel lonely. Do you miss a certain person or place? Do you generally feel like you don't have many friends, or do the friends you have are not close to you? Determining why you feel lonely can provide immediate solutions to your problems; not everyone can tell where their feelings of loneliness are coming from. If you miss a certain person or place that you can't go to, a large part of the solution to your problem should be introspection. If you want more friends or feel isolated, your solution might be to go out and meet new people.
- Try journaling if you're not sure why you're feeling lonely. Be as specific as possible.
- Don't be ashamed of the cause of your loneliness. This is a very natural feeling that everyone experiences at one time or another.
Step 2. Focus on health
Before making any changes, you should look at your own health for signs of loneliness. Often a lack of sleep, exercise, and a healthy diet can leave you feeling lethargic and depressed, which over time leads to feelings of loneliness. Take a week to make positive changes to your health; try to get eight hours of sleep each night, try to make time to do 30 minutes of physical activity, and reduce fast food / include more fruits and vegetables in your diet. If nothing else, doing things like this will give you more energy and reduce stress, which will overall have an impact on your positive outlook and feelings of happiness.
- Research shows that poor quality sleep and lack of physical activity are associated with feelings of loneliness.
- Certain foods-particularly fruits and vegetables-contain hormones that promote feelings of happiness.
Step 3. Relive an old hobby
It's easy to feel overwhelmed by being isolated or having to-do lists, and it's not only a lack of time for other people in your life, but also for your favorite activities. You will find it much more difficult to feel lonely if you actively enjoy activities, especially activities that you can do expertly or are practicing. If you have a hobby that you enjoy or are passionate about, set aside time each day to try to live it up (again). Whenever those feelings of loneliness arise, make a conscious effort to make time for your hobbies. Some new hobby ideas can include:
- Read regularly
- Follow sports games
- Climb
- Knitting or sewing
- Learn to cook, or try a new recipe
- Paint
- gardening
Step 4. Start a big project
Similar to working on a hobby, working on a large project can be a great way to distract yourself from the feelings of loneliness you're currently feeling, and help give you purpose when you might just want to curl up in bed. What constitutes a "big" project will vary from person to person; for someone, it might mean painting the interior of his house. For others, it may mean starting a new undergraduate program or series of classes through an online university. Whatever your big project, set daily or weekly goals so that there is a place to focus your hard work, you won't have time to feel lonely, with all the dedication that goes into your project. Some great project ideas can include:
- Learn a new language
- Write your own book
- Making great furniture
- Learning a new musical instrument
- Build a car or motorcycle from separate parts
- Starting a small business
- Starting (or completing) a bachelor's program
Step 5. Spend more time outdoors
Outdoor activities have been a recovery solution for many for years. While getting out of the house alone may sound counterintuitive to forgetting about being alone, time spent in nature is likely to enhance your emotional state and relieve feelings of loneliness. The sun will help increase the endorphins in your system, making you feel happier and less focused on loneliness. Also, exploring new places, getting your blood flowing and seeing natural surroundings will change your focus and balance your mental state.
- Find great hiking spots in your area, or just explore a new park.
- Try kayaking or biking, if you're not interested in just walking.
Part 2 of 3: Being Around Others
Step 1. Make small plans often with friends
If you feel like you can only spend time with people at parties or out for nice dinners, you may be limiting the amount of time you can spend with the people you like. However, if you try to plan small 'dates' throughout the week with assorted friends, you'll be spending your free time socializing, which will completely eliminate loneliness from your life. Going out with friends doesn't take much time or money. Whether meeting new people at a coffee shop or calling up old friends, try these easy 'date' ideas:
- Go for a coffee or a cafe
- Take a walk along the surrounding park
- Work on tasks together (especially with close friends/family members)
- Cook new recipes together
- Buy lunch during work breaks
Step 2. Make a grand plan for the event you're looking forward to
It's easy to feel lonely and burdened when the future feels bleak and unplanned. If there's something to look forward to-be it a big event or meeting someone you miss-you'll probably feel less lonely and more excited about what's to come. Take the time to make a list of activities you might want to take part in. Then, take a few days to plan the event as well as possible to be fully prepared and stress-free. If you can, include other people in the planning process and the final event to further relieve loneliness. Consider plans such as:
- Go on a weekend trip to a new place
- Have a big dinner party or bonfire
- Go to a music festival or other related event
Step 3. Consider getting a pet
If spending time with friends or getting out of the house isn't an option for you, you might consider getting a pet to help fight loneliness. Research shows that people who have pets are less depressed and lonely than people who don't have them. Cats and dogs are generally considered the best pets for fighting loneliness, as they both enjoy interacting with humans and enjoy physical contact (for the most part). Pets provide a sense of companionship and are a great distraction from any negative feelings that might be bothering you.
- Remember that owning a pet is a big responsibility, and it does require a significant amount of time and care.
- If your dog or cat doesn't fit into your lifestyle, birds and rodents can help too.
Step 4. Avoid being at home all the time
Sometimes a change of mood is just what you need to refresh your life and make yourself feel a little happier. Not only that, going outside will give you new opportunities to make friends and hobbies. Remember that just because you're out of the house doesn't mean you have to go out with someone else. You can overcome loneliness even by going alone, as long as you do something you enjoy. Try going to a new cafe for work or study, or just visit the part of town you like.
Hanging on to the bed or couch is a quick way to feel lonely. Do your best to get out of the house and try new things, even when you just want to watch Netflix all the time
Part 3 of 3: Avoiding How to Face Problems
Step 1. Understand that loneliness and isolation are different things
It's easy to confuse the difference between 'loneliness' and 'isolation', especially if you are a person who spends a lot of time with a lot of people. Loneliness is the feeling of missing someone or something, or feeling left out. Isolation is simply the act of being alone. Although loneliness must be restored, isolation is a natural and natural part of life. Don't feel like you have to fill every moment with activities and time with lots of people. Time alone is a healthy and necessary thing, and unless you're really feeling lonely, it's not something that needs to be 'fixed'.
Step 2. Don't depend on family and friends
When you're feeling lonely and you're not sure why, it can be easy for you to rely on family and friends as a distraction from your emotions. However, doing this may mask your true feelings, and not help yourself feel better in the long run. Take the time to find out the source of your loneliness, and try to find a solution other than constantly relying on friends to ask you out. You'll feel better in the long run, even if it takes a little more effort emotionally and mentally for a while.
Step 3. Avoid addictive problem-solving behaviors
It's not uncommon for someone who feels lonely to end up having trouble with a behavior that may be addictive-be it alcohol, drugs, shopping, food, or something else. When you feel sad and really miss someone/something, you need to deal with your emotions head-on. Trying to avoid feelings or trying to deal with them with addictive behavior is not only unhealthy, but will make your loneliness problem worse. Take steps to make healthy life decisions when you're feeling down, rather than taking shortcuts that end up making things worse.
