Changes in daily life can leave you reeling and feeling hesitant to move on. Deciding what to do when there are financial problems, bereavement, or divorce can sometimes be overwhelming. However, you can relieve stress from experiencing the unexpected in the following ways.
Step
Method 1 of 2: Changing Your Mentality
Step 1. Accept the emotions you are feeling
You can ignore the pain of experiencing change or act as if you don't feel anything. However, the rejection tends to trigger negative emotions. Learn to accept how you feel and work on it. Don't rationalize your feelings. The only way to deal with emotional problems is to feel them.
- For example, if you've just been laid off, admit that you're angry, disappointed, scared, and holding a grudge.
- Set aside 15 minutes each day to feel your emotions. Don't let your mind be distracted. Sit quietly and feel what you are going through.
- Keep a journal by recording your thoughts and feelings.
- Don't be afraid to cry. When we cry, our bodies produce hormones that function to relieve stress, improve mood, and overcome suffering.
Step 2. Change your mindset
See adversity as an opportunity to grow and improve. For example, try to remind yourself how strong and resilient you are in the face of adversity. This mindset makes you feel more empowered.
- If your college application is rejected, study opportunities are still open and you will not lose your job opportunities. Remember that you still have a choice and good things will come out of the situation.
- Think wisely. Ask yourself, "In general terms, is your condition really that bad?" If you're worried about the future, think about the possibilities that made it really happen.
- If you're constantly feeling anxious, take time to feel anxious. Every morning, take 15 minutes to think about the problem. If these thoughts suddenly appear outside the allotted time, remind yourself that it's time for you to feel anxious.
Step 3. Face the reality gap
After making a decision, life sometimes gives different things. The bigger the difference between reality and desire, the more disappointed you will be. Accept the fact that your wish has not come true and that you have to live life with a different reality.
Instead of feeling disappointed, admit that you have to adapt to the current conditions. For example, if you lose your source of income, don't use the money in the usual pattern of spending. Admit that you have to change your lifestyle
Step 4. Learn to accept reality
There are many things in everyday life that you have no control over, such as traffic conditions or an annoying boss. Instead of feeling hurt and upset by the situation, take deep breaths as you learn to accept what you can't control. While you can't control the situation, you can control how you react to it.
Practice the ability to accept the situation by meditating. Write down the things you have no control over by making lists. After that, close your eyes while breathing calmly until you experience a meditative state. Imagine you hand over the list to God and let go of what happened
Step 5. Give thanks
Even in the most difficult of circumstances, the ability to be grateful enables you to deal with suffering in a wise way. Even if you feel very lost, calm down and remember what you have, especially the intangibles, such as friendship, physical abilities, or good weather.
- Take time each day to reflect on the things you are grateful for, such as a cute pet cat, proud children, a beautiful sunset, the cool air on a morning walk, or a little sister who always supports you in difficult times.. Take a moment to be grateful for these things.
- Remember the most difficult events in your life. Also remember that you've worked through the problem and gone through a tough time well. You've been able to hold on before this and now, you can definitely do it too.
Step 6. Be tough
Resilience means the ability to adapt to changes, whether temporary, lifelong, or in times of crisis. Try to look on the positive side and don't think that your troubles will last forever. The hard times will end and you will get through it well.
- Toughness will not be formed without the pressure of life. Stressful adversity, sufficient time, and the strength to recover make you a strong person.
- For example, someone who has a broken leg and can't walk needs time to adjust to be able to cope with difficulties, for example by undergoing therapy to improve physical strength, learning to use a wheelchair, or practicing walking with the help of crutches. You know you are capable, even if your abilities change.
- Reflect on the difficulties you have experienced and what benefits it has. Many people say that it makes them feel more confident in their abilities or value their lives more. Often, there is something you can learn from this experience.
Step 7. Develop a spiritual life
Many people find it easier to deal with adversity by developing a spiritual life. You can overcome the difficulties of life spiritually by praying, forgiving, changing the way you see problems by thinking about good things that are beneficial, and meditating while contemplating positive things.
Method 2 of 2: Doing Positive Things
Step 1. Solve the problem
Troubleshooting usually takes time to recover, but there are also problems that can be solved with a little effort and thoughtful thought. Start thinking that the problems you are facing can be solved, for example problems with work, finances, family, friendships, relationships, and education. Try to find a solution to each of these problems and write down as many of them as possible, whether they are realistic or not. Don't ignore any of the solutions you can think of as they might be very useful.
- For example, if you and your partner are used to discussing finances before going to bed at night that ends in anger, start the discussion in the morning so that both of you have enough time to discuss all issues.
- Once you've found a solution, come up with a specific plan that you can implement to address the problem. Define the goal and the specific steps you want to take to achieve the goal.
- Learn more about achieving goals by reading the wikiHow article entitled “How to Set Goals and Achieve them.”
Step 2. Ask for support
Don't be afraid to ask others for help or advice. If you feel overwhelmed or don't know what to do, there are always people willing to help. Talk about your difficulties with a family member, friend, or therapist to verbally channel your emotional stress by sharing what you're going through with others. Do not face the problem alone because this method only adds to the difficulty and makes life feel worse.
- Don't let your pride keep you from seeking help because no one knows everything and you can help each other in the future.
- By sharing a problem you're having, other people may be able to give you input that you've never thought of.
- When talking to other people, say what you want. If you need feedback, ask for his opinion or feelings. If you want to be heard, say this clearly. Sometimes, well-meaning people enjoy providing input and trying to come up with a solution, when all you really want is to share your feelings.
Step 3. Watch yourself
Whatever your predicament, life has to go on, for example you have to babysit or work 40 hours a week. While trying to get through tough times, take good care of your physical and emotional health. You may put the interests of others first, but give yourself time to meet your own needs. Make sure you eat healthy, get a good night's sleep, exercise regularly, and create a happy life. Find and do the things you love, for example by:
- Do body care.
- Keep a journal to express thoughts and emotions.
- Meditate for 20 minutes every day or take a nap.
- Walk or bike in the neighborhood if you don't have time or can't get to the gym.
- Laugh to reduce stress. Watch comedy videos or funny animal behavior to make you laugh.
- Be a positive person by seeing the good side of anything.
Step 4. Rest
Take time to rest if life's difficulties are stressing you out, such as taking a vacation, relaxing on a weekend, or taking a long walk. You can take a break by distracting yourself, for example by reading a book, watching a video, or working out at the gym.
Find a switch that helps you solve the problem instead of avoiding the problem. Find and do activities you enjoy, such as mountain climbing, horse riding, or journaling
Step 5. Get into therapy
Oftentimes, consulting a mental health professional is the best way to deal with difficulties. The therapist is someone who is always ready to support and provide consultation so that you have a different perspective. A therapist can help you find the root cause, deal with emotional disturbances, and make positive changes in your life.
- Therapy helps you identify yourself and your problems so that your life can thrive.
- A therapist can help you deal with a variety of issues, such as stress from work, relationships with other people, or other difficulties.
Step 6. Help others
When you are in a crisis, you tend to pay more attention to yourself and your problems which in turn drains you of energy. Take time to volunteer and provide assistance so you can focus on other people. Helping others makes you feel happy, for example by:
- Help deliver groceries to a friend's house.
- Giving time and energy to accompany the elderly or orphans in orphanages.
- Volunteer at soup kitchens or do other charities.
